by David Hayes
Watch Blood Bound: Meat Market Cut On Demand
Gotta love any movie that has a black and white intro, 10 years in the past. Especially when the filmmakers are so concerned with authenticity that they use equipment that is 10 years old. Broken equipment, obviously. So, in the past some cops were hypnotized by a vampire lady. Then nothing happened. We flash forward, 10 years later, and now we're on a college campus... where nothing is happening. There is the obsessed cop, photo nerd, the slut, the smart girl, the jock and the jock's friends so we are all ready for a good, old fashioned massacre. Of course, these guys found a way to screw that up. There is a vampire on the loose here in the city and obsessive cop is on the hunt. It would be easier to figure that out if the filmmakers had any idea how lights work. We would be able to see an image that way. So the obsessive cop is on the lookout, after being fired from the force for being an obsessive cop, and SLOWLY tracking down the vampire... who has recruited his partner from the past as a bloodsucking fiend. By fiend we mean stiff of an actor, of course. Meanwhile, the photo nerd is working for the vampire and recruits the slut and the smart girl for a "killer" party at a bar called The Meat Market. Ahhh, finally a return to the witty dialogue and ironic happenstance made popular by the films of yore.