I’m a little nervous about reviewing the movie of someone I know. Technically, I don’t think we’ve ever met but he is a member of the same writer’s group I’m in so there’s still that connection, even if it’s ethereal. I’m especially nervous because I did not enjoy the movie this chap made and though I told him that, I didn’t clarify that if/when I review it, I’d most likely shred it. It’s not the camp that bothers me, virtual friend. Camp is what makes low-budget independent films fun. It was ...everything else.
Funeral Home Horror is a short 40-minute (thank the gods) film hosted by some Crypt Keeper wanna be in a wheelchair with a cheap Halloween store mask. He tells us the tale of the Krummer funeral home. It begins 3 years earlier where the owner/operator is such a cheap fucking bastard that instead of burying the loved ones of people who pay him to do just that, he sells the parts of the deceased for cash. Or he’ll say he’ll take care of the burial but ends up dumping the corpses in the lake because it’s too expensive to do otherwise. Unfortunately one of the bodies he plans to dump is a Wight, or ghoul, and it attacks him before he can dispose of it.