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March 30, 2016

The Devil in Miss Jones: The Resurrection (Vivid - 2010)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 30, 2016

Starring :

Belladonna
Savanna Samson
Penny Flame
Victoria Sin
Rebeca Linares
Carmella Bing
Steven St. Croix
Tom Byron
Evan Stone
James Bartholet
Nick Manning
Kurt Lockwood

Synopsis
Adult's greatest title, re-imagined through the eyes of adult's most awarded director, Paul Thomas, and starring Savanna Samson and Belladonna! Featuring six classic anal scenes as scorching as the fires of hell, surrounded by a cautionary tale as old as Satan himself: Young Miss Jones, an aspiring journalist... oblivious to the human carnage she leaves in her wake. Pandora, enjoying the high life in Hollywood. Both have no idea they're being groomed by the devil to spawn the next generation of demons and every one of their shuddering orgasms brings them closer to their hellish fate!

(Runtime - 2 hr. 31 mins.)
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In this original re-imagining of THE DEVIL IN MISS JONES, titled THE DEVIL IN MISS JONES: THE RESURRECTION, "Melinda Jones"(Belladonna) is a young journalist for the Seattle Free Press, who is looking for her big break.  She finds it, when her research leads to the capture of a gun-toting criminal, known as "The Halloween Bandit"(Steven St. Croix).  It is a story which soon brings headlines, and also national attention for the young writer, as many people are put on notice.  This would include one, "Pandora Phoenix"(Savanna Samson), who wishes to bring Melinda to Los Angeles to have her write for her paper.  It is an opportunity that Melinda takes without a second thought.  Soon, Melinda and her boyfriend arrive in LA, and it doesn't take Pandora long to give Miss Jones her first assignment.  She is to go check up on a Psychic to the stars named "Destiny", who is accused of working in black magic and Voodoo,  Pandora is looking for Melinda to write an article that basically debunks the legitimacy of the woman.  However, contrary to what she is to write, Destiny's abilities do prove otherwise, as she reveals to her some rather startling news.  She tells Melinda that Jason, her current boyfriend isn't the right man for her, and that soon, she is destined to be with someone else soon, and that, that someone is "coming" soon.  However, despite the ominous warnings, Melinda follows through as planned with the article.  Pleased with her efficiency, Pandora wastes no time in getting her on to her next bit of reporting.  She learns that a Reverend, by the name of "Billy Milford"(Tom Byron), despite having a clean cut, man of God reputation to the public, behind the scenes, indulges in sinful activity.  Activity that involves sex with hookers.  And speaking of hookers, one such lady, named "Violet Ray" looks to out the good Reverend, as she plans to sell her story to whomever should pay the most.  What Pandora and her people want Melinda to do, is to do what she can to discredit the woman, before she can successfully sell her incriminating story to the press.  It is something that Melinda is against, however, to please her new boss, she agrees to do the story.  Melinda meets with Violet, who details her experiences with the Reverend, an explanation, which leads the women into having sex.  Afterward. the young hooker expresses a desire to get out of the skin trade, but not before she makes enough money.  From there, Melinda proposes a scenario to Violet that might bring her an extra thrill, as well as money - having sex along the train tracks.  You know, the thrill of two things coming at once - the train, as well as the guy.  It is something that Ray tries, but unfortunately, it results in her death the next day.  Prior to this, Jones however, had already written up her discrediting story.  So, at this point, both of Melinda's latest stories have ended in both tragedy, slander and false information.  Things are certainly not going well for Melinda in LA.  However, for Pandora and her people, it has actually been going as planned.  As everything up until that point has been a test,  It's because that Pandora and her men, "John Haththorne"(Evan Stone) and "Dorian"(Nick Manning), are in fact, not of this Earth.  They are actually a trio of hellish henchmen assigned to scout for a possible bearer of the Devil's spawn.  Unfortunately for Melinda Jones, her recent actions make her more than qualified for the job.

March 28, 2016

Movie Review: Throat: A Cautionary Tale (Vivid - 2009)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 28, 2016

Starring :

Sasha Grey
Penny Flame
Kelly Wells
Emilianna
Aliana Love
Megan Monroe
Carmen McCarthy
Allie Foster
Beverly Hills
Brynn Tyler
Ricki Raxxx
Tom Byron
Herschel Savage
Evan Stone
Voodoo
Lee Stone
Trent Tesoro
Marco Banderas
Jerry
Big Pike
Rocco Reed
Jordan Lane
Jarod Diamond
Jack Logan

Synopsis
A beautiful young woman is found dead in a field amidst shards of broken glass. Who was she? Why did she die? Who killed her? We move back in time to her life as a young student, waiting tables, unable to make ends meet. She takes a job in a peep show where she learns, to her great amazement, that the seat of her sexuality is in her throat. Suddenly her sex life, always a pretense of pleasure, changes dramatically.  But where she sees pleasure, her boyfriend sees profit...and pushes ''The Girl With The Golden Throat'' up the ladder of success, from peep show to private clients to featuring in a major club called The Zone.  Tired of being used, she snaps...and attempts to bite off the cock of the biggest porn star in history...leading to her own tragic demise. And of course, during the autopsy, the coroner and his assistant find something in her throat they've never seen in any throat before: a clitoris...a tiny bit of flesh that made and unmade the life of a lovely young girl.

(Runtime - 2 hr. 03 mins.)

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The film THROAT: A CAUTIONARY TALE, tells the story of "Julie Garret", a young woman, whose body has just arrived at the city morgue.  A young woman dying is certainly not unheard of for the Coroners, however what they discover during her autopsy, certainly is.  While examining her mouth, they make a most unique discovery, one like no other - as it would appear that Julie possessed a clitoris at the back of her throat.  The discovery sets in motion the film, as it tells Julie's story in flashback, detailing the events which led to her death.  We follow as 2 Homicide Detectives, Joe Gillette(Tom Byron) and his partner, "Byrd Smith"(Penny Flame) attempt to put together the pieces of the puzzle that was Julie's life.  They learn that, initially, Julie worked as a waitress in order to pay her way through College.  However, when it became too difficult to make ends meet, she looked for an alternative way to make money.  She found that opportunity working at the local peepshow arcade.  It was a choice that her boyfriend "Eddie"(Trent Tesoro), at first despised for obvious reasons.  But despite this, Julie is successful, especially after a fellow performer, named "Lane"(Aliana Love), teaches her a new "trick" - the art of "deep throat".  It is during this act, that Julie makes a miraculous discovery. when she learns that her sexual pleasure spot is located at the very back of her throat, rather than the traditional location.  For years, it had been a wonder to her, as to why she would never feel much sensation vaginally when it came to climax - but now she knew. With a new trick under her belt, she wowed the visitors, with her ability to throat a dildo, down to its base.  Among those whom she impressed with the act, was boyfriend Eddie, who soon sees profit.  From there, Eddie proceeds to deal her out to seemingly any man who would pay up front.  It is here, that Julie would eventually meet "Dan Quinn"(Evan Stone), a business man, who happens to be part owner of a sex club called "The Zone".  Dan soon takes Julie under his proverbial wing, having her perform the same dildo show, except on a much grander scale.  She performs as "The Girl with the Magic Throat".  It is a pairing that soon makes the rather volatile Eddie jealous.  It's revealed that, with the controlling Eddie out of the picture, Julie and Dan had begun dating.  It would appear that all was going great for the two, as Julie's act, and special talent was as popular as ever.  Unfortunately, it also comes to be known, that it was that same popularity that soon led to Julie's downfall.  Never having been far away from exploitation since the discovery of her special "gift", Julie finds herself subjected to it once again, when Dan forces her to star in a live sex showcase, as she is paired with a popular male sex performer, "Dante Demarco"(Lee Stone).  Among the lights, the crowd, and unexpectedly, the cameras, it was just too much for Julie to bare, as the story goes on to show us just how Julie's life came to a tragic end.

March 27, 2016

Anchorwoman: A XXX Parody (Digital Playground - 2011)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 9, 2015

Starring :

Eva Lovia
Courtney Taylor
Dana DeArmond
London Keyes
Olivia Austin
Steven St. Croix
Derrick Pierce
Tommy Gunn
Van Wylde

Synopsis
The sexy and career-oriented Angela is done sucking her way to become lead anchorwoman.  She has a vision for the Channel 6 News and if upper management can’t see it, she’s going to spice things up herself.  The news needs a feminine touch and with her team of slutty colleagues, they plan to showcase their ability to captivate viewers with their amazing breasts and immaculate legs!  The ladies are working overtime and they’re headed towards prime time television.

(Runtime - 2 hr. 39 mins.)

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In DIGITAL PLAYGROUND's ANCHORWOMAN: A XXX PARODY, Taking place in 1975 - it is a battle of the sexes, when a determined news reporter, named Angela Fantana comes on the scene at Channel 6 News in Los Angeles. Angela has just transfered from a station in San Diego, where we assume she did well.  However, when Angela arrives in LA, she is disappointed to find that the outlook is very different in the eyes of Channel 6.  From the executives, to the on-air staff, the station is very male dominated, as they feel that the news is best delivered by a man, and that women should take a back seat.  Of course, this is opposite of what Angela thinks, and she's determined to show up the guys.  Even if it means that she first must distract them with sex!  One such encounter with her station boss, Ned, earns her a week on air in order to prove herself.  An experiment that goes very well, as it sees the station leading the competition by a 50% margin.  But even with the proof of better ratings, both Ned and the rest of the crew are still firm in their stance, when it comes to male supremacy.  That is when Angela gets with station girls; Briana, Harmony and Lizzy to execute a plan, that would put into motion, an all female takeover, that would of course put popular on-air talents such as; Ron Marlowe, Rick Stormwatch, Ryan Shasta, and Tiger Jack out of work.

Movie Review: Black Widow (1987, Blu-ray)

“Mr. Shin, I'll tell you two things about me: I'm very rich. And I'm very wealthy.”

It has been years since I’ve watched this movie. And, if memory serves, it’s a fantastic thriller filled with tons of acting talent. Let’s see if it still holds true nearly 30 years later.

Released in October, 2015 by Twilight Time, Black Widow stars Catherine (Theresa Russell), a gorgeous sociopath who marries rich men then murders them for the inheritance. As she flits from man to man across the country, changing her name, appearance, accent, and general demeanor to fit each new conquest, Alexandra (Debra Winger), a federal investigator, has been studying the ‘natural’ deaths of all these different men and has discovered a connection - they married the same woman.

But how can Alex stop her when the local police don’t believe her theory, her own boss thinks she needs to go on more dates instead of working so hard, and the relatives of the dead men don’t want to pursue it because they think it’s all poppycock?

She tracks down Catherine herself, insinuates herself into Catherine’s life to get close, and hopefully can end the murderess’ life of crime before another innocent man ends up dead. The only problem - Catherine is highly intelligent and organized so Alex has to stay on her toes to not end up on the wrong end of Catherine’s rage.

I invented Resting Bitch Face. Don't waste my time.

Yes, this movie is just as awesome as it was back in the 80s. Don’t pay attention to the shitty fashion or the old fashioned misogyny from which most of the male characters suffer (a WOMAN can’t be a serial killer - that’s unheard of!). The base story, the actual tale of murder, cat and mouse, good vs. evil, could take place anytime or anywhere. 

Theresa Russell is so good in this role. She plays the loving wife beautifully all while she’s injecting poison into a bottle of champagne or mixing drugs into toothpaste. I love the character of Catherine for her smarts. When she finds a target, she researches the SHIT out of everything that can give her a connection in real life. She becomes each man’s idea of the perfect woman. She’s like a sociopathic chameleon. It’s brilliant. And when you see Alex is catching up to her or Catherine feels cornered in any way, the anger and hatred boiling just below the skin erupts for a moment and we see her for who she truly is.

Debra Winger….what can I say? I LOVE HER. I’ve loved her in everything I’ve ever seen (from Urban Cowboy to Terms of Endearment to Leap of Faith). Her character is strong and smart, two abilities that piss off the male-centric world of the FBI, and the police, and basically all other aspects of life. But her willingness to put herself in danger to stop a killer speaks volumes of her capabilities as a government agent and a human being.

You mad, bro?

Did I say I just love her? Because I do.

And let’s not forget to mention all the other acting talent in this flick: Terry O’Quinn, Dennis Hopper, Diane Ladd, Nicol Williamson, James Hong…just to name a few. Go to IMDB to look up the rest of the cast. Really, it’s amazing!

I think every character is believable, even if a few are convenient. But everyone fits in the entire puzzle of the story. You remove one and the cohesion crumbles.

The direction, editing, sound, and music flowed perfectly well. The writing is great - the story is an awesome thrill ride. The fact that the two main characters are women and the men around them are at their mercy (either in smarts or, literally, their lives) spoke volumes at a time when women were just beginning to be seen as capable of living well without the aid of a husband or father. I don’t want to get all soap boxy here but you can see my point, yes?

Great story, great acting and characters, great film. Stands the test of time and I imagine I’ll still enjoy it in another 30 years.


4 hatchets (out of 5)


March 26, 2016

Movie Review: Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice - Warner Brothers - (2016)


Zach Snyder directs his second film for the DC movie universe, bringing his particular style of directing with him.  Whether you like that type of thing is entirely up to you.

Batman V Superman gave us the fight we were anticipating and also introduced the audience to some new characters.  The pacing of this movie was pretty slow going early on with an artsy dream sequence explaining Batman's(Ben Affleck) origin.  Much of Batman's view of the world and Superman(Henry Cavill) being in it is fueled heavily on his delusional dreams(of which he has plenty).  I had a hard time figuring out if Bruce's butler/assistant in the Bat-Cave, Alfred(Jeremy Irons) is the voice of reason or someone feeding into Bruce Wayne's fears.  Bruce Wayne is Batman for you non-superhero loving folks.

The world is starting to fear Superman and he's being framed for violence across the world.  The framing of the Man of Steel seemed a bit of a stretch but you got to do something to get this movie going.  With all this fear, Lex Luthor(Jesse Eisenberg) is on the hunt for Kryptonite after discovering how it affects the other Krytponian, the now deceased Zod.

Silent Screams: Wolf Blood (1925)

Over here at the Cinema Head Cheese offices we are concerned with the decay of the horror film industry. Every day in this country, a child is born that will never know the true terror of Nosferatu or feel the creepy crawlies from Dr. Caligari... the very beginnings of our industry. The farther we get away from our roots, our history, the better off the world will be (at least our world). So, as a public service, our resident horror film historian and researcher, David C. Hayes, will be posting the films that influenced the men and women that influenced the men and women that influenced us as culled from across the internet. These films can be obscure but they are important for, without them, there would be no now... no us... no horror industry.

Let us begin with what many people believe is the first werewolf film (or, more appropriately, lycanthrope film). 1925's Wolf Blood tells the morbid tale of a logging camp foreman that, after an 'injury' is transfused with the blood of a wolf. This, of course, makes him believe that he is turning into a wolf. The film is directed by and starring George Chesboro (who went on to co-star in the 1950s Lone Ranger series as Doc). The script was written based off of a story by Bennett Cohen (who began his screenwriting career in 1915 and finished in 1953) and Cliff Hill.

March 24, 2016

Movie Review: Open Couples (Adam and Eve - 2016)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 24, 2016

Starring :

Anikka Albrite
Mia Malkova
Mick Blue
Danny Mountain

Synopsis
Anikka Albrite, Mia Malkova, and their husbands light up your screen with the natural chemistry and passion that only real life couples can provide.  Catch their most intimate moments as the tenderly and sensually express their love for each other before spicing things up with a swinging foursome!

(Runtime - 2 hr. 19 mins.)
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OPEN COUPLES from ADAM AND EVE PICTURES and Director Jay Allan, is a release that is part reality showcase, part scripted feature, as it is centered around, not only Anikka Albrite and Mia Malkovia, but also Mick Blue and Danny mountain - who just so happen to be the 2 ladies' real life husbands as well.  Not only are all four, performers in the Adult industry, they are proof that true love exists - yes, even in the world of porn.  The film interviews the two couples as they spend time on the beach and get cozy, as they provide details of how they met, and other details, such as what they enjoy most about one another.  This candid interview footage is cut, before, and in between a series of 4 sexually themed scenes - with most having candid lead in segments featuring the participants.  All scenes, which of course, lead up to the film's "main event" so to speak - a four-way between the two couples, as the ladies promise to swap partners.  A first for both of these real life couples.

Movie Review: Tenderness of the Wolves (1973)

Based on the true story…ugh, I hate that phrase. HOWEVER, after doing a little research on Fritz Haarmann, I have to say this movie depicts many truths of his life. Though he originally committed his crimes before and after WWI, this flick moved the timeline up to just after WWII because of Nazis or something. 

I don’t know.

Tenderness of the Wolves is a German film from 1973, written by and starring Kurt Raab in the title role. Fritz Haarmann is a well known criminal in the police community. Things like sex offenses, theft, fraud, assault, seduction of minors, homosexuality (which was a crime in Germany until 1994) all kept him on der kommisar’s radar for years. But since the country was in such a rough state after the war, the polizei need all the help they can get and hire Fritz to be a narc.

This actually works out for Fritz very well because by informing on OTHER people, he keeps the police attentions off his own crimes of theft, fraud, and murder. Fritz likes to lure young boys and men back to his apartment, ply them with food and drink, then BITE OUT THEIR FUCKING THROATS IN THE THROES OF PASSION AND ECSTASY. Afterward he chopped them up and either tossed their remains in a local river or sold the flesh as pork or horse meat to his friends.

Wha…..???

March 23, 2016

Movie Review: Dirty Money (Wicked Pictures/Scandalous Films - 2016)


Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 23, 2016

Starring :

Casey Calvert
Teanna Trump
Bianca Breeze
Ziggy Star
Jezabel Vessir
Steven St. Croix
Stallion
Damon Dice
Romeo Price
Donnie Rock

JOIN WICKED PICTURES

Synopsis
 Dirty Money takes you on a sexual roller coaster as you explore a day in the life of a hundred dollar bill. From being paid to a therapist, bribed to a cop, stolen by a teen, and given to a hooker, Benjamin gets passed around like a dirty little whore, seeing all the hot sex along the way. While money might not be able to buy happiness - it can definitely lead to some down and dirty sex!

(Runtime - 2 hr. 12 mins.)
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DIRTY MONEY from WICKED PICTURES and LOS SCANDALOUS FILMS, is a rather unique, scripted based Porn film, in that it has a plot device that is out of the ordinary- $100 bill. The film introduces several characters, and their individual scenarios, while all of them are linked by only one thing - the "Benjamin".  The film shows the travels of of single $100 bill, as it goes from hand to hand, and situation to situation.  It all begins with a man named "Steve"(Stallion) withdrawing the money from an ATM.  The purpose of the money is to pay the Couples Therapist, which he and his wife, "Vivian"(Casey Calvert) have been seeing.  After their latest session, Steve pays the Therapist $100 for her services, during which he rips the bill on its corner, giving it a distinguishing look.  Next, we see the therapist, whom is almost ticketed for driving on a private road, pay the Officer off with the bill, before she has sex with him.  After which, he places the bill int his pocket.  A short time later, the Officer returns home, as he greet his wife(Dava Fox), and his teenage daughter, "Sabrina"(Ziggy Star).  Next it is Sabrina, who comes into possession of the bill, when she snatches it out of her dad's uniform pocket.  Next, we find that the $100 bill has since traveled with Sabrina, as she hang with her boyfriend, "Jason"(Damon Dice).  After the two have wild sex in his van, Jason later that night, uses the money to purchase drugs from "Paul"(Donnie Rock).  After, Paul makes a pit stop at the campaign office of "Larry Bennett" where his girlfriend(Jezabel Vessir) works.  Simple conversation leads to passionate sex in a back room of the office.  It is there that he mistakenly leaves the bill behind - thus making it available for anyone to take.  That "anyone" would just so happen to be Larry Bennett himself, who later uses it to spring for a hooker.  The arrangement lands them at a seedy motel, where the two have sex.  From there, it is the hooker who is in possession of the $100 note.  But just as it has a number of times, the bill would soon land in the hands of someone else.  Someone who is very familiar with this particular note.  Thus causing this tale of "dirty money", to come full circle.

March 22, 2016

The Young and the Rest of Us - Season 2 (Adam and Eve - 2016)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 22, 2016

Starring :

Sarah Vandella
Chloe Amour
Anya Ivy
Holly Heart
Josie Jagger
Nikki Daniels
Katerina Kay
Vyxen Steel
Elizabeth Bentley
Steven St. Croix
Nick Manning
Alec Knight
Seth Gamble
Ryan McLane
Tyler Nixon
Chad White

Synopsis
This college town hides dark secrets and taboo sex! University President Vince Ferrara (Steven St. Croix) needs his political campaign funded, and he's willing to do anything, including a horny busty masseuse (Christie Stevens) to do it. Bombshell Abby Ferrara (Holly Heart) throws a detective off her husband's scent with her tight trophy wife pussy. Meanwhile Vince's curious daughter Elizabeth (Bentley) uses her hot body to get what she wants, and son Griffin (Tyler Nixon) gets a naked anatomy lesson from sexpot MILF Sarah Vandella.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 56 mins.)
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The sexual exploits of the college town of College Grove, continue with this second installment of ADAM & EVE and Will Ryder's Soap Opera serial, THE YOUNG AND THE REST OF US.

This second season picks up exactly where the previous season left off.  Vincent Ferrara"(Steven St. Croix), President of Grove State University, still aims to run for senate, but if he is going to run, he knows that he will need to be funded.  This is when he reaches out to his partner, "John Hargarden"(Alec Knight), who has already turned down the proposed position of being his Chief of Staff.  Vincent has a plan, even if it means breaking the rules.  He tells John, that he plans to borrow the sum of 12 million dollars from the University's athletic department.  John, knows that if caught, there could be some heavy consequences.  But Vincent is quick to assure his friend that he will put the money back before anyone notices, and that it would only be known between the two of them.  It was a private conversation, or so they thought.  Because, little did they know that within earshot of the call was Vincent's drunken, and drugged up wife, Abby, who soon blurts out the otherwise confidential details of the plan.  From there, news around campus travels fast.  Everyone seems to know, even law enforcement, when a Detective Manning"(Nick Manning) comes into play.  From there, it looks as though Vincent, and possibly, John, may be in some hot water, as they both could go down for money embezzlement charges, something that would certainly put an end to any campaign hopes.  Meanwhile, to make things right, and to distract the law from locking up her husband, Abby utilizes her greatest weapon - her body.  Elsewhere, infidelity is abound as both Vincent and John sleep around on their wives with students(Christie Stevens and Vyxen Steel respectively), John, unfortunately was caught on video, and it's proof that soon causes his wife to also have a fling with another man, a coach at the school(Ryan McLane).  Because as we learned the last time, it is always business mixed with a little pleasure when you're in College Grove!

March 17, 2016

Movie Review: Malice in Lalaland (Vivid/Miss Lucifer Productions - 2010)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 17, 2016

Starring :

Sasha Grey
Kagney Linn Karter
Andy San Dimas
Chayse Evans
Jesse Capelli
Mackenzee Pierce
Juelz Ventura
Kristina Rose
Phoenix Marie
Sadie West
Tommy Gunn
Dirty Fred
Danny Mountain
Keni Styles
Alan Stafford
Chris Johnson
Billy Glide
Ron Jeremy

Synopsis
"Malice In Lalaland" is an innovative Miss Lucifer Productions film shot on 35 mm. Based on the two books by Lewis Carroll: "Alice In Wonderland" and "Through The Looking Glass", we stay true to a strange world and its' even stranger characters. Malice (Sasha Grey) manages to escape from an asylum with the help of Rabbit (Stephen Powers). During her escape from Queenie (Andy San Dimas) and Jabbowski (Dirty Fred), she has the most sexy adventures ever. "Let's Fuck 'N Roll!"

(Runtime - 1 hr. 38 mins.)
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In this take, on both ALICE IN WONDERLAND and THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS(both stories by Lewis Carroll), "Malice"(Sasha Grey) is a young girl who escapes from an asylum, which is being overseen by the evil, and domineering "Dr. Queenie"(Andy San Dimas), and her orderly lackey, "Jabbowski"(Dirty Fred),  She escapes with the help with a strange rabbit(Stephen Powers).  After which she litterally falls into a strange world outside the asylum.  As Jabbowski pursues her, the rabbit leads her to a rundown gas station, where she is nearly apprehended.  But that is before a man named "Bill", stops Jabbowski in his tracks.  She narrowly escapes again after she hitches a ride with the eccentric, "Chester", a Photographer, who just so happens to have a fascination with cats, it seems.  Jabbowski leads them to a car chase, but fortunately, Malice and Chester, are able to get away, when things end in a fiery crash.  From there, Malice experiences some fun times with Chester the Photographer.  Not only do they take pictures, they also have sex, and meet up with Chester's friend, "Kater Pills"(Ron Jeremy) at his strip club,  And then, later that day, they also end up at Mad Hatter's place for a wild sex party.  Yet little do they know that Jabbowski is still on Malice's wonderful looking tail.  His gun is blazing, when Jabbowski tracks Malice down at the party.  It is an occasion where again, she narrowly escapes, when she jumps into a nearby car.  And who is in that car?  A ragtag Porn crew, who invite her to be their camera man for their next shoot.  For Malice the shoot seems to be the perfect way to hide out.  Unfortunately, though, Queenie and her lackey are seemingly one step ahead, proving that there truly is no escaping the infamous, Dr. Queenie.

March 15, 2016

Movie Reviews: Debbie Loves Dallas (Vivid Alt. 2007)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 15, 2016

Starring :

Cassidey
Dana DeArmond
Charlotte Stokely
Pixie Pearl
Monique Alexander
Melodie Gore
Stoya
Tommy Pistol
James Deen
Alex Gonz
Julius Ceazher
Danny Wylde
Icarus Corpse
Justin Syder

Synopsis
Debbie Loves Dallas does what other doesladen (yep, made-up word) Debbie remakes couldn't, or rather, wouldn't.  Ok, so here, Debbie comes face to face with that Eon McKai character (2006 AVN award winner), no stranger to deconstructing adult film's most treasured franchises. Shot for cable television series Debbie Does Dallas Again, Eon fought to bring us the ultimate porno melting pot - an ensemble cast that's the who's who of porn's alt, proper and past, a completely fresh take on a classic adult film, and the cynical humor that we've come to expect from him.  So, now Debbie's crushing on the synth-pop sensation Dallas, trying to hook up with the lead singer, and...confused? I bet...well, get used to it because this summer's hottest, feel-good, date movie is not being shown at the multiplex - you're looking at it! Oh, and we suggest screening it with mixed company.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 58 mins.)
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In the film, DEBBIE LOVES DALLAS, "Debbie Benton". and her friend "Shauna Grant" make ends meet by working as Pornstars, with their latest work being the music video inspired shoot, "Smells like Teen Pussy".  In the video, all of the girls dressed like cheerleaders with each of them wearing old school Converse shoes.  It is at this shoot that the topic of "Dallas", a Synth-Pop band comes up in conversation between the girls on set.  Bambi, whose Father, "Mr. Greenfield"(FJ Lincoln) is a record Exec with his own label, Silverthroat Promotions and Records, explains that her dad, at one point, nearly signed the band, while Debbie explains that Dallas is her favorite band of all, and that she wants nothing more than to be with the band's lead singer, "Punky"(Alex Gonz).  In a bit of a coincidence(or not), that's also what Bambi wants - thus putting the two girls at odds.  Debbie and Shauna eventually go back to Debbie's house, where they discover that Debbie's boyfriend, "Josh"(James Deen) has rented the house out, for use as a Porn set.  Sometime later, however, Debbie and Shauna run into "Tammy"(Dana DeArmond) and Bambi at the hair salon, where the topic of "Dallas" comes up again.  The band is going to be in town soon, so Debbie and Bambi enter into a little bet.  A bet to see who can sleep with "Punky" first.  And it is from there, when the band arrives into town that the wheels are set into motion as the girls see who can get to the singer first.  At a local recording studio, Debbie, Bambi and their friends run a distraction as Debbie and and Bambi look to hunt down the singer(even with both of them sucking off the doorman).  However, when that plan fails, each of the girls devise different strategies.  Debbie thinks that she has found Dallas online, and is chatting with him, while Bambi poses as an interviewer, named "Wendy O. Williams",  in order to get closer to him.  Neither plan works out, with one scenario being more hilarious than the other. Fortunately in the end, however, Debbie "does", as she just so happens to be the lady of choice for the man of her dreams after he spots her at a show.  And the rest....as they say, is history.

March 13, 2016

Movie Review: Werewolves in Heat (2015)

Okay. I promised David Hayes that I would be brutally honest in my review of this movie and I intend to keep it. (please don’t be mad please don’t be mad please don’t be mad)

Werewolves in Heat is about three young men about town looking to party and get laid. Renting a house out in the desert they plan a big shin dig but if they don't want it to end up a sausage fest, they need to find some ladies. ASAP. They journey to a local bar where they hire some hookers for the evening. How convenient…except, unbeknownst to our gentlemen callers, these ladies are also werewolves and our intrepid heroes are on their dinner menu.


That's really all you need to know about the film. There is nothing deep, or even all that interesting, about the story. The characters are tissue paper, the acting is terrible, and the whole thing felt like a group of people made a movie just because they could. Basically the entire film is jerk-off fodder for 13 year old boys - which is maybe why I didn't like it.

There were just a couple of bits that made the 70 minute watch time worth it. The man-servant that comes with the rental house, Captain Bill, was amusing. He had little zingers here and there, he kept himself in the front closet until needed, and he wore a captain's hat the whole time. He made me laugh once or twice.

March 10, 2016

Movie Review: Red Light (Wicked Pictures - 2016)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 10, 2016

Starring :
Chanel Preston
Casey Calvert
Kleio Valentien
Skin Diamond
Bree Daniels
Lea Lexis
Ryan Driller
Derrick Pierce
Damon Dice

Synopsis
Red Light is like a waking dream set in the streets of Los Angeles. Its the story of a woman's transformation into her true self, and a wild chase by her friends to find the woman that they think they've lost.  Among her group of friends Rachel is seen as the wallflower, but all of that changes when a chance encounter turns into sex so hot it lasts an entire day, and well into the night. Coming home one night Rachel's roommate spots her car, but without her driving, and assumes the worst: that Rachel has been murdered by the handsome man behind the wheel. Setting out to find her she unwittingly sets a series of events into motion. We watch as all of her friends join the hunt, and one by one find themselves in their own little dreams, driving LAs lonely streets and meeting lovers that will propel them to the heights of ecstasy.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 27 mins.)
———————

In the mystery film, RED LIGHT, to her friends, "Rachel"(Chanel Preston) is seen as a wallflower.  She is less outgoing, and she keeps quiet, and reserved.  While her friends are hooking up at clubs, she is rather standoffish, as she keeps to herself.  This is apparent because on the previous night, she exited the club early, leaving her friends behind.  The true story here, begins when Rachel just so happens to run into "Damon"(Damon Dice), a man that she recognizes from the club.  She spots him walking, and decides to pick him up.  Unexpectedly, the ride ends up back at Rachel's place, as it would appear that a well hidden side of Rachel starts to abruptly emerge.  It is a side of her, that very few have witnessed, a side that is much more raw and sexual.  The two, of course have sex, that reaches every room of the house, and in its wake, a mess was made.  It is after the deed, that mass confusion occurs.  After the rough sex, Rachel is exhausted, and so she lets Damon drive the car, as they leave.  This was at the same time, when Rachel's roommate "Kleio"(Kleio Valentien) was just pulling in.  Rachel just so happened to have slumped down in the passenger seat, out of Kleio's view, causing her to believe that she was not in the car. More confusion, as well as hysteria sets in for Kleio when she discovers that the house is a mess, which causes her to fear the worst.  Did she just up and leave?  Or was she in fact murdered by the mysterious man?  From there, it's panic mode, as Kleio and friends(Skin Diamond and Bree Daniels) set out to find her, as word gets around town about Rachel's disappearance.  As they go on their way, as they search for their missing friend, they coincidentally find themselves in a number of sexual situations of their own, as they come closer to figuring out what what may, or may not have happened to her.

March 9, 2016

Movie Review: Marquis de Sade's Justine (1969, Blu-ray)

I actually have this book somewhere but I haven’t read it yet. I’m well aware of who the Marquis was but not sure how the subject matter will be treated as a film. Strictly exploitation? Titillation? Porn? Only one way to find out… Though from what I understand, Justine is one of the MdS’s early works and isn’t as graphic and sexual as what comes later (see what I did there?). 

The Marquis de Sade’s Justine is a 1969 film (SIXTY NINE, DUDE!) directed by Jess Franco (writer and director of everything from B horror to porn) and starring Klaus Kinski as de Sade and Romina Power as Justine. We begin our tale with the Marquis being hauled off to prison. As he spends his days in the Bastille, two weeks before the French Revolution, he is tormented by imagery of two young women and their plights in life. 

And by tormented I mean as someone who needs to create literature that speaks to humankind or makes a statement on the world around him. In this case, de Sade want to tell us how virtue always seems to be punished while evil is constantly rewarded. He by no means committed the atrocities against Justine - he just created them. As he scribbles furiously in a blank book, the movie develops, showing us the story of Justine as the Marquis writes it. 

Justine and her sister, Juliet, are two beautiful young women being raised in a nunnery - for their education, of course. Lord knows Juliet is a whore and Justine is pure innocence. When their father is forced to flee the country, the girls are kicked out of the convent and forced to find their own way in the world. While Juliet is totally cool with moving to a brothel and earning her keep, Justine is just too morally innocent to stay and must leave.

And it is from this moment on that Justine suffers every cruel trick, scheme, and lascivious attention people can throw her way. She’s basically sold into slavery, framed for theft, tricked into a gang of criminals, framed for murder, tricked (again) by a group of hedonists, escapes, finds love, loses it, finds it again, kidnapped by the leader of that gang of criminals from before, whisked away by an angry mob, then finally saved by her sister - who’s lived a life of thievery and murder to become the mistress of one of the King’s advisers and now lives very comfortably with money, jewels, and everything she could ever want.

What do you mean...I don't get to have sex with ANYBODY in this film??
But don’t you dare change, Justine. Juliet’s life has been completely empty and meaningless. And though you’ve lived through Hell because she wouldn’t stick by you, at least your everlasting soul will go to Heaven. You know, when you’re dead.


WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK?

This was probably the most depressing and silly movie I’ve watched in a long time. With the name de Sade attached, I was expecting AT LEAST some sexy kinky shit that I could possibly rub one out to, even if it was more Skinamax bull shit. But son of a bitch if this wasn't just a lot of almosts and nearly happens and close calls and absolutely no sex. We don’t even really get to see the WHORES having sex. I mean, COME ON!

Oh sure, sure. There was a little titillation with some bare breasts and a flash or two of naked bush and some girl on girl kissing and wrestling. But hardly enough to even be called interesting. It’s not like I watch these kinds of films on a regular basis and have become jaded. This whole movie just felt very shallow and meaningless. And did I mention no sex? IN A MARQUIS DE SADE MOVIE.

Ooooh! Right in the eye. So sorry, my dear.
The style was a lot of artsy shots and filters, dramatic music and heavy sections of no dialogue, crappy acting, terrible voice overs. Every character was predictable and Justine was so frustratingly innocent - you’d think by the third time she got screwed over she’d pick up on some clues of the evil surrounding her. Or perhaps innocence = low bell curve?

Klaus Kinski was probably the best asset but all he did was furrow his brow and scribble in a book for the whole 10 minutes he was even in the damn film. Even Jack Palance felt like she should have been in a silent feature with all the scene chewing he did.

For those aficionados out there that enjoy Jess Franco’s work, and perhaps because this can be seen as an exploitation film of sorts (more like Exploit-lite), this movie might be worth a watch. Even those who are fans of the Marquis might be interested in this adaptation. But two hours of trite crap just puts me to sleep. Dear gods don’t let the book be this boring.


.5 Hatchet (out of 5)


Recipe for Romance (New Sensations Romance - 2011)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 9, 2016

Starring :

Samantha Ryan
Gracie Glam
Allie Haze
Missy Martinez
Richie Calhoun
Ramon Nomar
Levi Cash
Johnny Castle
Evan Stone
Raven Alexis

Synopsis
Love is cooking in Carolina's kitchen, and it's wonderfully delicious! Samantha Ryan spices up the screen as Carolina, a passionate cook who is patiently waiting for Mr. Right. In the meantime, she pours her heart and soul into her catering company, and reveals a special culinary talent that magically affects the very clients whom she caters for. But between a booming business, an active fantasy life, and an array of excuses, Carolina becomes consumed with work and disregards the very real affections of her catering assistant, Aaron (Richie Calhoun). After numerous unsuccessful attempts at winning her heart, Aaron decides to look for love elsewhere and Carolina soon realizes that her fantasies of Mr. Right have been a reality all along. But is it too that? Find out in this savory romance as Carolina and Aaron hope to discover a life that goes beyond the kitchen.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 46 mins.)
———————

In the NEW SENSATIONS feature, RECIPE FOR ROMANCE, "Carolina"(Samantha Ryan) is a young woman who owns her own catering business called "Carolina's Catering"  It is a business which brings her most joy in many ways, as she, along with her assistant, "Aaron"(Richie Calhoun) cater a number of events; business meetings, anniversaries, weddings and the like.  Her clients seem to love the dishes which she serves, as they seem to almost always send them into sexual overdrive.  There is just something about Carolina's fixings that turn people on.  While this obviously makes Carolina happy, to see her clients pleased, it's a little discouraging, because, she herself has yet to find romance of her very own.  She describes a reoccurring fantasy she has, one that involves being ravished by a mysterious masked man.  It is the type of passionate romance that she longs for - yet, she is just simply too busy for love.  She is very committed to her catering work.  This baffles Aaron, as love is staring her right in the face, day after day, because after all, he is very much in love with his boss.  Unfortunately, every attempt at taking things a step further, have been quickly shot down by Carolina, who tries to hook him up with her roommate, "Adelle"(Allie Haze) instead.  But obviously, that isn't what Aaron wants.  The frustration, and tension eventually comes to a head, when the two have a heated argument, one that causes Aaron to pull away from Carolina, as well has her catering business.  In an attempt to rebound from the amount of rejection, Aaron takes a sexy bartender(Jayden Cole), up on her offer for a getaway to Las Vegas.  Ironically, or not so much, it is also around this time, which Carolina comes to realize her true feelings for Aaron, after all of this time, and that he, is in fact, the proverbial "masked man" of her dreams.

March 8, 2016

The Virgin (Digital Playground - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 8, 2016

Starring :

Jade Nile
Cassidy Klein
Scarlet Red
Allison Moore
Tommy Pistol
Mick Blue
Tyler Nixon
Mr. Pete
Keiran Lee
Clover

Synopsis

Jade Nile, the innocent flower has been lusting over the thought of experiencing a real man. She has been dreaming of the day she'll experience her first cock and finally, she's ready. Her sexual awakening begins when she meets an older gentleman. He introduces her into a world of sexual exploration, intense pleasure and infinite orgasms!

(Runtime - 2 hr. 32 mins.)
———————

In the DIGITAL PLAYGROUND feature, THE VIRGIN, "Jamie"(Jade Nile) is a young woman, who lives with her mom, "Cheryl"(Allison Moore)  in a 3 bedroom apartment.  Like many girls her age, Jamie is curious about all things sex, although she hasn't truly experienced it yet.  However, that doesn't mean that she hasn't explored herself.  As she seems to spend time masturbating at times, times, which include getting turned on at the sound of her neighbors(Scarlet Red and Clover) having sex next door.  Curiosity in terms of sex, seems to have always been there for her, but nothing has happened - yet.  That however, would soon change when an older man, by the name of "Mark"(Tommy Pistol), unexpectedly rents, she and her mom's extra bedroom.  Initially, the presence of Mark, is indeed strange for her.  But when she finds that he and her mom have had sex, her curiosity in sex, is further aroused,  This results in young Jamie finding a boyfriend in "Steven"(Tyler Nixon), and it isn't long before Jamie is a virgin no more.  She has now crossed the sexual finish line.  But unfortunately for Jamie, she soon catches "Steven" in the act of cheating with another woman(Cassidy Klein).  This of course, sets in motion, a string of rebellion, as she goes after the older man, Mark.  She eventually lands him, as the two have steamy late night sex.  It is the start of, not only a relationship that her mother does not approve of, but also a sexual awakening.  As the openness of the relationship with Mark, leads her to do things sexually that she could have never imagined - thus tapping into her innermost desires.

March 6, 2016

Movie Review: Blue Mountain State - The Rise of Thadland (2016)

The movie based on the television show, Blue Mountain State, finds the Goat House in trouble as the Dean of BMS threatens to shut it down.  Quarterback Alex Moran (Darin Brooks) does not want his party frat house to go away so he turns to a source he doesn't want to; former team captain and number one draft pick Thad Castle(Alan Ritchson).

Thad was the linebacker for BMS and not always the easiest to get along with.  He does, however, have a big signing bonus and Alex knows that Thad can buy the Goat House and he can continue to party.  Thad's one demand is to throw a party.  A part of which nobody has ever seen and to call it Thadland.  The amount of drugs at this party could have paid for the house multiple times over, but then where would the story of this movie go?

I was a fan of the Blue Mountain State television program as it was nothing to take seriously and each episode made me laugh out loud at least once(except for the final episode, that was awful).  This movie was better than the final episode of the TV show but pales in comparison to the series.  There's a bit more swearing and definitely more nudity.  For those of you that have been wanting to see Sammy's(Chris Romano) penis, you're wish is granted.  Plenty of times.

The rest of the cast is there as well.  It is pretty cool that they came back to do the film.  James Cade as Harmon, Rob Ramsay as Donnie, Frankie Shaw as Mary Jo, Ed Marinaro as Coach Daniels and a couple more surprises.

Overall the movie is a silly comedy and my expectations were low.  With that said, I enjoyed it enough to sit through it and chuckle at much of the absurdity.  For those of you who miss the show, check it out.  If you are not familiar with the television show, there may be some jokes that you may not get but I still feel like you can watch and get the premise.

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March 3, 2016

Hall Pass: Cheating with Permission (New Sensations Tales from the Edge - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 3, 2016

Starring :

Brooklyn Chase
Anikka Albrite
Ava Dalush
Cherie Devile
Mick Blue
Chad White
Ryan McLane
Ramon Nomar

Synopsis
With her husband's blessing, Anikka indulges in an afternoon seduction with a long time crush. Cherie's husband is eager to help her overcome her sexual inhibitions by arranging an afternoon session with a passionate masseuse. Ava catches her employee off guard when the private meeting she requested isn't to fire him, but to instead proposition him for sex. Months of sexual tension reaches a breaking point between Brooklyn and her personal chef when she confesses to him that he's her "Hall Pass" guy.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 54 mins.)
———————

With the vignette release, from the "Tales from the Edge" line,  titled HALL PASS: CHEATING WITH PERMISSION, Writer/Director Jacky St. James, and NEW SENSATIONS explore the idea of a "Hall Pass".  The occasion when someone is given an unrestricted pass, by their significant other to have sex with another person.  HALL PASS: CHEATING WITH PERMISSION presents 4 different scenarios, in which 4 women have been given a "Hall Pass" by their lover.  The scenarios seen in the film are; sleeping with your husband's best friend, indulging in the urge to sleep with your masseuse, seducing your personal chef, and lastly, having sex with your employee.

- In the first story, "Robert Blue"(Mick Blue) is a Real Estate agent, who is best friend with Andrew, and "Victoria Matson"(Anikka Albrite).  Andrew has given wife Victoria, a "Hall Pass" to sleep with anyone, and it just so happens that Robert is the lucky guy that she chooses.  Robert is nervous, but Victoria assures him that her husband is ok with it, and nothing will change.  And with that, they engage in a lustful sexual encounter.  It is an encounter that Victoria has dreamed about for some time.

March 2, 2016

Dear Abby (New Sensations Romance - 2011)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 2, 2016

Starring :

Natasha Nice
Ash Hollywood
Zoe Voss
Alyssa Branch
Giovanni Francisco
Xander Corvus
Michael Vegas
Ramon Nomar

Synopsis

Natasha Nice and Giovanni Francisco star in this romantic comedy that is as charming as it is unpredictable. Jack (Giovanni), a somewhat jaded advice columnist, has absolutely no problem dishing out words of wisdom for his romantically challenged readers; while Abby (Natasha), his ex-girlfriend, still lives with him. But when this awkward living arrangement turns into a complicated relationship crisis, will Jack be able to follow his own words of wisdom or will he ultimately lose Abby to another guy?

(Runtime - 1 hr. 52 mins.)

———————

In the romance drama, DEAR ABBY, "Jack"(Giovanni) works as an advice columnist for the local newspaper.  His column, in which he gives a wide range of relationship advice, is quite popular - especially with his female readers.  In his column, inquiries range from people looking to spice up their stagnate love lives, to those who are just looking to maintain a peaceful, friendly relationship with their ex.  For his readers, Jack seems to always have answers readily available for them.  If he is so great handing out relationship advice to others, then Jack's life must be all roses, right? Wrong.  Because, although he seems to have all the right answers for others, it seems that, when it comes to relationships of his own, things just haven't worked out.  One of those failed relationships was with Abby, who coincidently has been his roommate since they split.  It is a rather awkward living arrangement for sure.  But somehow, they have made it work.  Until now.  Because when Abby begins to finally date again, it complicates things, as Jack, naturally becomes jealous, despite attempting not to make it so obvious.  While one date doesn't go as planned, as she finds the guy sleeping with her good friend "Rachel"(Alyssa Branch) at an office party for the paper, she vows to date more.  This of course, leads her to go one other dates, while pushing her ex, Jack further away - so much so, that he fears losing her for good.  Assuming that he already has, Jack takes to his column to write a parting letter to his ex love, as he agrees to finally move out.  He thought it would, at the very least be a peaceful end, but little did he know however, that it just might be his very column that helps him rekindle the flame once more.

March 1, 2016

The Temptation of Eve (New Sensations Erotic Stories - 2013)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 1, 2016

Starring :

Remy LaCroix
India Summer
Dahlia Sky
Xander Corvus
Tommy Pistol

Synopsis
Thrust into an uncomfortable circumstance, Eve (Remy LaCroix) finds herself living under the same roof as Brandon (the man she shared the most intense sexual connection of her life with) and Danny (her current love whom she shares the most intimate emotional connection of her life). Her own curiosity about the man she lusted for long ago, coupled with his desperate attempts at manipulating her back into another affair, leaves Eve straddling the line between right and wrong. Will Eve succumb to Brandon's games? Or will she stay loyal to Danny, the man who continues to be her grounding in the unpredictable, unstable world Brandon has begun to weave for both of them.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 52 mins.)
———————

In THE TEMPTATION OF EVE, after both losing their jobs "Eve", (Remy LaCroix), a writer, and her boyfriend "Danny"(Tommy Pistol), a graphic designer, have no other resort, than to move in with their mutual friend "Brandon"(Xander Corvus)  For Danny, it's no big deal, to stay with his friend while he is in between jobs, but for Eve, it's a different story.  Why?  Because it was just 3 years ago that she and Brandon had a weekend long fling.  It was an affair that ended badly, as after, Brandon never returned any of Eve's messages, making her essentially just another entry within the journal which he keeps - as he details his sexual experiences.  Eve does her best to keep the secret fling between them in the past, but it isn't long before she cannot resist the memories, as every little thing reminds her about the time that she spent with Brandon - it was one of the greatest sexual experiences of her life.  And it doesn't help matters, that Brandon himself, seems to be reeling her back in, as he seems to be strategically manipulating her.  He says, and does things intentionally, even having sexual encounters within earshot of her - with one of his latest conquests even being the blonde, who replaced her at her previous writing job.  Each of these actions by Brandon, seemingly designed to grab her attention, and get under her skin.  And they do, as they cause Eve to flirt with temptation.  Brandon says that he truly loves Eve, but is it just part of the continuous game, which he has played with countless others?  Or could this be the one time that he is actually telling the truth?  As the temptation pulls her body one direction, with her heart traveling with her husband, as he takes up a job in Seattle in another, Eve must, in the end, make the ultimate choice  between love, and lust.