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January 7, 2019

Animalistic (2015) Movie Review


Okay, it’s time to get back on this movie reviewing mechanical horse! Hey, you have your mixed idioms, and I have mine…

We begin 2019 with a screener for a movie that came out in 2015 (though I just got it last summer, which is why I don’t feel too bad for being so late in bringing you this review.) Animalistic brings us the story of a young woman, Emma, who is kidnapped on her way back from a big business interview. The shady taxi driver, Shirley, chloroforms our not-so-savvy professional woman, and when she wakes, Emma finds herself the captive of a greasy man named Jim, and his slow-witted buddy, Peter.

Over the course of the next few days, Jim rapes and sodomizes Emma. Peter is more there for the gross stuff – I’m pretty sure he fucked the corpse of the previous victim – or to keep an eye on the captive while Jim goes about his normal life with his buddies, and WIFE AND KID.

Eventually, Emma finds the means to escape (a couple of times,) and is able to get revenge on her captors before walking off to freedom.


Um….yeah.

If you’re into the gritty look and feel of an exploitation film, this could be up your alley. It tries a little too hard in my opinion, but it doesn’t miss the mark by much. The brutality is there; the blood and gore is certainly present; that uncomfortable sphincter clench comes into play often. And while I don’t mind some good ultra-violence now and then, I prefer my revenge served cold, after months of planning and prep work. Not that immediate vengeance is a bad thing. It’s just not as satisfying.

Is that weird?

Da fuq?

The film is shot to look dark and gritty, like a classic exploitation, but it has a more modern feel. Unfortunately, the music/sound effects are much louder than the dialogue, making it difficult to hear what characters were saying. Didn’t really matter though, since it’s the action that drives the film, not so much the story/exposition.

The acting is better than most independent film. But Ralf Beck, who plays Jim, is certainly the cream floating to the top of this bucket of curdled milk. We see how dark he is; we learn how fucked up his logic works; his absolute pleasure at the suffering of another is disturbing, to say the least. Ralf pulls it all off beautifully, so much so that I kept shouting for Emma to “BLOW HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!” once she turned the tables on him.

The few things that irked me were probably just my own personal issues, and most other people could overlook them. Everyone in this film is Swedish, so when they all speak with Swedish accents, but the characters are supposed to be from Illinois, it’s distracting (Shirley’s Taxi ID card shows the state of Illinois – now it’s possible they are all FROM Sweden and just happened to all move TO Illinois, but I ain’t buying it.) I also find it difficult to believe that if your feet are being chopped up in a wood chipper, you’d be coughing up blood. Last I checked, the feet bones are not connected to the lung bones, uknowwutimeen? There were a few other things, but not really worth mentioning.

(*coughserratedsawswontcutthroughbonecough*)

How many times do I have to tell you to PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN!

Not a terrible film by any means, but just not my cup of tea. Decent effort, good acting, marginal character development, good kills.

2.5 Hatchets (out of 5)







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