Movie Reviews: Debbie Loves Dallas (Vivid Alt. 2007)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - March 15, 2016

Starring :

Cassidey
Dana DeArmond
Charlotte Stokely
Pixie Pearl
Monique Alexander
Melodie Gore
Stoya
Tommy Pistol
James Deen
Alex Gonz
Julius Ceazher
Danny Wylde
Icarus Corpse
Justin Syder

Synopsis
Debbie Loves Dallas does what other doesladen (yep, made-up word) Debbie remakes couldn't, or rather, wouldn't.  Ok, so here, Debbie comes face to face with that Eon McKai character (2006 AVN award winner), no stranger to deconstructing adult film's most treasured franchises. Shot for cable television series Debbie Does Dallas Again, Eon fought to bring us the ultimate porno melting pot - an ensemble cast that's the who's who of porn's alt, proper and past, a completely fresh take on a classic adult film, and the cynical humor that we've come to expect from him.  So, now Debbie's crushing on the synth-pop sensation Dallas, trying to hook up with the lead singer, and...confused? I bet...well, get used to it because this summer's hottest, feel-good, date movie is not being shown at the multiplex - you're looking at it! Oh, and we suggest screening it with mixed company.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 58 mins.)
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In the film, DEBBIE LOVES DALLAS, "Debbie Benton". and her friend "Shauna Grant" make ends meet by working as Pornstars, with their latest work being the music video inspired shoot, "Smells like Teen Pussy".  In the video, all of the girls dressed like cheerleaders with each of them wearing old school Converse shoes.  It is at this shoot that the topic of "Dallas", a Synth-Pop band comes up in conversation between the girls on set.  Bambi, whose Father, "Mr. Greenfield"(FJ Lincoln) is a record Exec with his own label, Silverthroat Promotions and Records, explains that her dad, at one point, nearly signed the band, while Debbie explains that Dallas is her favorite band of all, and that she wants nothing more than to be with the band's lead singer, "Punky"(Alex Gonz).  In a bit of a coincidence(or not), that's also what Bambi wants - thus putting the two girls at odds.  Debbie and Shauna eventually go back to Debbie's house, where they discover that Debbie's boyfriend, "Josh"(James Deen) has rented the house out, for use as a Porn set.  Sometime later, however, Debbie and Shauna run into "Tammy"(Dana DeArmond) and Bambi at the hair salon, where the topic of "Dallas" comes up again.  The band is going to be in town soon, so Debbie and Bambi enter into a little bet.  A bet to see who can sleep with "Punky" first.  And it is from there, when the band arrives into town that the wheels are set into motion as the girls see who can get to the singer first.  At a local recording studio, Debbie, Bambi and their friends run a distraction as Debbie and and Bambi look to hunt down the singer(even with both of them sucking off the doorman).  However, when that plan fails, each of the girls devise different strategies.  Debbie thinks that she has found Dallas online, and is chatting with him, while Bambi poses as an interviewer, named "Wendy O. Williams",  in order to get closer to him.  Neither plan works out, with one scenario being more hilarious than the other. Fortunately in the end, however, Debbie "does", as she just so happens to be the lady of choice for the man of her dreams after he spots her at a show.  And the rest....as they say, is history.

Wetwork (Vivid - 2014)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - February 3, 2016

Starring :

Steven St. Croix
Richie Calhoun
Derrick Pierce
Danny Wylde
Penny Pax
Kimberly Kane
Claire Robbins
Eva Karera

Synopsis
From AVN Award-Winning director Eli Cross comes a story of spies, international intrigue, assassins, and prostitutes of every sort... sexual and political. As ruthless spy Anthony faces a midlife crisis, he must decide whether to keep playing the kiss and tell, murder and mayhem game, or retire. But retire to what? And what about Katherine, the seemingly normal artist, who just happens to kill her patrons after sex... who Anthony quickly becomes entangled with in a deadly game of cat and mouse. If you like your porn hot, nasty and layered, Wetwork is your film. With three anals, a beautiful San Francisco location, and the budget of a mainstream film, this is Eli Cross at his best... and it doesn't get any better than that.

(Runtime - 2 hr. 33 mins.)
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In the film,WETWORK "Anthony" is a legendary spy, who is at a crossroads in his life.  He wants to give up his secret, and calculated profession after years of carrying out hits around the world.  After executing one last hit in Paris, he says that's it.  However, after returning home to California, he finds that he just can't give up what he's best at, and decides to take on the next mission.  The mission?  To trail and the execute a woman named "Katherine Mox".  On the surface, to everyone else, Katherine is an upcoming artist who's appearing on the cover of various art magazines. But to the people at Anthony's agency, Katherine Mox, is a cold-blooded assassin.  An assassin, who's good with a gun, but even better with a knife.  While initially Anthony tries to keep a low profile, by posing as a journalist from Vanity Fair, who looks to do an article on Mox's success in the art world, it doesn't take the savvy Katherine long to figure him out.  As the two of them meet head on, they come to discover that not only was Anthony hired by a man named "Singer"(Bryn Pryor) to kill Katherine, likewise he had hired she to get rid of Anthony, whom "Singer" now sees as an unstable liability.  With Anthony and Katherine now both wanted individuals, their enemies become common.  But none are worse than the man who hired both of them - the elusive "Singer".  As a love affair grows between Anthony and Katherine, Anthony reports back that he has killed his target, all the while, he and Katherine work together to close in on "Singer".  They soon do, but in the film's last act(Which ends beautiful in an abandoned warehouse), there is a twist to this tale of assassins and spies, which throws deception into the mix, resulting in an intense conclusion.

Movie Review: Family Secrets (Vivid - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - January 5, 2016

Starring :

Kimberly Kane
Penny Pax
Claire Robbins
Princess Donna
Kylie Ireland
Tommy Pistol
Steven St. Croix
Richie Calhoun
Danny Wylde

Synopsis
When the body of a young girl is discovered on a popular San Francisco beach, a chilling web of lies, sexual depravity and dark Family Secrets unfold and everyone is a suspect. The clock is ticking to solve the mystery and the question on everyone's mind is...

Who Killed Vicky Valentine?

(Runtime - 1 hr. 34 mins.)
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It's murder and mystery in FAMILY SECRETS, one of the latest releases from VIVID and co-writer/Director Kimberly Kane.  When the body of a young woman named "Vicky Valentine"(Penny Pax) is found washed up on a San Francisco beach, the procedure is not unlike others that Detective "Jean Carver(Kimberly Kane), Detective "Jim Valentine"(Steven St. Croix), and their team seem to face regularly.  However, things are different this time around, seeing as Vicky Valentine just so happen to be Jim's stepdaughter.  So, it is because of this, that the Detectives proceed into the case with extra caution.  The film goes on to display several interrogations, which begin to slowly reveal details regarding the night that Vicky was last seen alive.  Detective Carver begins the case by interviewing the last 3 people known to have been seen with her the night that she was killed.  First, it is her best friend, "Donna"(Claire Robbins), and then "Rick"(Richie Calhoun), a friend of Vicky's, whom we learn is a painter, and the lastly, her stepbrother, "Jesse"(Danny Wylde), all of whom offer varying accounts.  But there is one thing for certain, that all 4 of them did meet up at a night club called Dante's on the night in question.  It's what happens afterward, that things become a little sketchy, as each give stories that differ.  Donna says that the last time that she saw Vicky, was when she found herself distracted by a striking female at the club.  She last saw Vicky dancing with Rick and Jesse.  While Rick on the other hand, although in possession of Vicky's locket necklace, swears to have seen her go off to the beach with a strange man, shortly before later leaving for the man's hotel room.  However, it is Jesse's confession of the events that night later, that truly blow the pending investigation wide open.  It is when Jesse reveals that both he and Rick had sexual relations with Vicky on the night she died, that family secrets, much more deeper than sex between step-siblings, begin to a emerge.  They are the kind of secrets that will tear everyone involved in the investigation apart at the seams.

Movie Review: The Dating Game XXX: A Porn Parody (Vivid - 2014)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 31, 2015

Starring :

Penny Pax
Anika Albrite
Penny Pax
Dahlia Sky
Ash Hollywood
Michael Vegas
Tommy Gunn
Danny Wylde

Synopsis
It's just like The Dating Game, only Bachelor Number Two means he's doing anal! Welcome to the funniest spoof in game-show-porn history, with a behind the scenes, and on-camera look at freaky makeup artists, fetish-y contestants, and a host who can't stay out of a bachelorette's pants! The Date Game, only from Vivid. Great date night movie...just make sue she's loose.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 28 mins.)
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From the dating capital of the world, Hollywood California it's the dating game show that everyone knows and loves - The Dating Game!  Although this isn't your mom's dating game show - it's THE DATING GAME XXX, a porn parody from VIVID and Director, Hank Hoffman, who with this film, follow up their previous parody of THE NEWLYWED GAME, THE NEWLYWED GAME XXX: A PORN PARODY.

The film finds the game, which is hosted by the eccentric "Tim Slange"(Michael Vegas, as an hilarious take on real host, Jim Lange), playing host to Bachelor, "Paul Robert Davis"(Danny Wylde), as he will choose one of three Bachelorette hopefuls at the end of the game.  They will then win a date, which will see them flown to Boca Raton Florida, where they will enjoy an airboat ride along the Waxahachie Everglades, a couple's horseback excursion, and more.  The 3 Bachelorettes are Bachelorette #1, "Jackie Jean Bradford"(a freak of a lady played by Anikka Albrite), Bachelorette #2, "Angela"(a bit of a ditzy airhead, played by Dahlia Sky[here credited under her former stage name, Bailey Blue]) and Bachelorette #3 "Debbie Rickles"(a nice Southern Belle played by Penny Pax).  After Tim Slange divulges some details about the ladies(Jackie works at a nail salon. Angela collects stuffed bumble bees, and Debbie was born in the back on a deliver truck, on the night of a full moon, and so on), Paul feeds a round of questions, most sexual in nature, in which the ladies field. Questions having to do with things such as; fantasies, late night booty calls, and keeping promises.  The questions and answers, are fun.  However we soon find that it is what they all do during commercial breaks that is the most exciting.  Yes, after the ads for products such as Faboosh Laundry Detergent, and Bilco - hair in a can, are seen, the real action begins.  From the makeup room, dressing rooms, and back stage area, both the game's staff and contestants, just can't keep their hands off one another.  And lucky for us!