Movie Review: American Heist (2014)

James Kelly(Hayden Christensen) is doing everything he can to get by.  Living in New Orleans post-Katrina and trying to better his life after a stint in prison has proved to make things difficult.  James' situation doesn't get any easier when his brother Frankie(Adrien Brody) is released from prison and gets the two brothers mixed up in a heist.

Sounded promising.  I love a good heist movie so what can go wrong here?  I wasn't expecting this movie to "wow" me but what it did do, I didn't expect.

Nothing.

Okay, maybe not "nothing" but it sure didn't do much.  When I think of a heist movie, I think of something where there's a well thought out plan.  Heck, even if the plan doesn't work, something cool usually happens.

Not here.

I do get that we were supposed to be attached to the inner struggle of Hayden Christensen's character.  The troubles with his brother, winning back the affection of his lost love Emily(Jordanna Brewster), trying to get a small business loan and being a terrible auto mechanic.  He tells Emily he needs to replace the carburetor in her new Fiat.  I do feel that if this was the direction of the film, there should have been more exploration into the lives of those involved in James' life.  Jordanna Brewster was a nice surprise for the film and there probably should have been more done with her.

So with the world taking a crap on James, Frankie is out of prison and gets him in on the worst heist ever.  It didn't even feel like the heist was supposed to be successful as Ray(Tory Kittles), the co-leader of the group, just wants to stick it to the banks and going for a Grand Theft Auto video game looking life.  Sugar(Akon) is the other leader of the group.  Must be because he did the music for the film.   I'm really glad this movie was only an hour and thirty four minutes.

There were also some weird camera angles.  Not sure if they strapped Go-Pro cameras to the actors and told them to bob their heads while they walk.  I don't know where the accents are from either.

Watch at your own peril.  American Heist gets 1.5 out of 5 Pile Drivers.

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Movie Review: Guns, Girls and Gambling (2012)

A Native American artifact is stolen from an Apache casino and now a quirky bunch of Elvis impersonators, crooked cops, blonde haired women, guns for hire and more are on the hunt for it.

I love a good heist movie and I even like a bad one if the story is goofy enough.  This falls into the latter.  There are actually quite a few decent actors in this film and it was cool to see them working together.  Christian Slater totally fits the role as the main character, John Smith, who gets wrapped up in all the silliness that is a movie about Elvis impersonators hunting down a Native American mask.

As in all heist movies, there are twists and turns that I won't get into here, but they do keep you entertained.  At times it looks like things start looking up for John Smith, and then something happens(usually a hit to the face).  Slater's portrayal as the main character was extremely fun and kept the movie going.  His part made me think of his roles from the late 80s/early 90s where his career was at it's peak.

The person who shares a lot of time with Slater is "The Girl Next Door," played by Megan Park.  There was excellent chemistry between the two of them on screen making her a surprise of the film.


If you can get past the first five minutes, you should be fine the rest of the way with this film.  Although I felt most people played their parts the way they were intended, I did not like Helena Mattsson's line delivery.  She's an absolutely gorgeous assassin who quotes Edgar Allen Poe poetry before she shoots people.  Problem is, she doesn't sound confident doing it.  I'm assuming she was going for sensual but there's a crack or something else off in her delivery and it just comes off poorly.

The Elvis impersonators are great with Chris Kattan as "Gay Elvis," Anthony Brandon Wong as "Asian Elvis," Tony Cox as "Midget Elvis"- I mean "Little Person Elvis," and Gary Oldman as "Elvis Elvis."

Powers Booth is "The Rancher" and has a very Boss Hog look going for him.  Dane Cook and Sam Trammell are the Sheriffs.  The film even has Jeff Fahey and Matthew Willig as hit-men with cool nicknames.

Overall, I think that Michael Winnick as writer/director put together an okay film.  It was a lot of fun with cheesy over the top action and goofy lines.  It was definitely better than I expected.

On a scale of up to 5, I'm giving "Guns, Girls and Gambling" 3 Pile Drivers.

You can read more of my reviews here on Cinema Head Cheese and also please check out my blogs, reviews and podcasts on http://maskerpiecetheatre.blogspot.com/

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Movie Review: 2 Guns (2013, Universal Pictures)

...in the past few years, a most unique and unconventional phenomenon, akin to recent genre films, has taken...and continues to take place: the acquisition and production of feature films, based upon much more obscure graphic comic book properties, which are considerably lesser-known by the general public, and which go against the grain, as far as typical conventions and standards, normally expected by the devoted masses, in films like these. Coming in below the radar, just beneath the surface, and sometimes, breezing in and out of attention, like a whiff...overshadowed by comic book-themed juggernauts, featuring overly familiar bat-men, spider-men, men of steel and mutants...are the oddities...the curiosities...the misfits, which under the deftly welded hands of writers, producers and directors, have wrought...give or take, the occasional schlocky clunker or two...some rather interesting, embraceable and quite entertaining results. In some cases, wildly imaginative and eclectically conceived...never mind, the now-popular, unconventional staples of "Men in Black" and "Kick-Ass"...we're talking more the blood-spattering, barbarous exploits of "Solomon Kane"...the well-armed, hyperkinetic retirees of "RED"...the supernaturally-driven, humanity-devoted sleuthing of "Dylan Dog" and "R.I.P.D."...these comic book genre 'oddballs' are out to prove that they can garnish a life, and a foothold on the genre, as equally capable as those of the high-flying, dark-cowled, web-spinning, razor-clawed variety. And so, getting much more down to earth...kicking up the dust, with all barrels a-blazin', and verbal quips a-spewin'...with the riotously rollicking force of a Michael Bay/Bruckheimer actioner (...which, in a good number of ways, it resembles), we have the 'new kid on the block' as far as tapping into that obscure graphic comic book well; flying off the drawn & paneled pages, and onto the screen...with dynamically explosive results, no less...it's "2 Guns"...

Movie Review: The Thieves (2012, Blu-ray)

Directed by Dong-hoo Choi

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Popie (Lee Jung-Jae), Yenicall (Gianna Jun), Chewingum (Kim Hae-Suk) and Zampano (Kim Soo-Hyun) are a group of highly sophisticated thieves working in South Korea. Utilizing a variety of James Bond-like stunts, their heists are all meticulously planned and executed. After they score a valuable antique vase, they hear from Macao Park (Kim Yun-Seok) in which he proposes a highly lucrative new job at his namesake, the super-gambling island Mecca of Macau. He even manages to recruit former cohort and lover Pepsee (Kim Hye-Soo) to join in, even if she took the fall for his bungled gold theft the years previously. Freshly released from prison, Pepsee then joins Macau and the others in Hong Kong where they team up with four local Hong Kong thieves Chen (Simon Yam), Andrew (Oh Dal-Su), Julie (Angelica Lee) and Johnny (Kwok Cheung Tsang).

Macao Park then lays out the plan. Their mission is to steal the "Tear of Sun" diamond currently in the possession of ruthless criminal Wei Yong, stashed in the suite room of a Macau casino & resort. Macao Park tells his crew that he can easily unload the diamond for $20 million dollars, insuring that all will be set for life if they are successful.

“Too many cooks spoil the broth,” as they say, and the gang of ten all have their own agendas. The plan to steal the diamond goes terribly, terribly wrong and some members of the gang wind up paying for it with their lives. The surviving gang members then plot to bring whoever is responsible to justice, but to quote another cliche -- is there truly "no honor among thieves?"