Movie Review: KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978)

Oh joy! Oh happiness! It is a Christmas miracle! Folks, fans and fiends it is finally Day 12 of the David Hayes Christmas Crap Review-a-Palooza! This means no more egg nog-scented night terrors, no more green and red bloodshot eyes and no more crazy holiday movies. I feel like running out and hugging everyone. Much like Ebeneezer Scrooge after the final ghost appeared, I want to run in the streets and give gifts to the bastard little children. Why? For this final film I've given myself a little gift. It isn't a holiday movie, per se, but it is a gift to myself and what better time can someone have than at an amusement park?

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Head Cheese gave to me... nothing, I gave this to myself!

It's 1978 and I am seven years old. It's All Hallow's Eve and I've begged, for nearly a week, to stay up a little later than usual. You see, in the 1970s there was this concept called the “TV Movie.” Essentially, it was an original movie made specifically for television. The Night Stalker, starring Darrin McGavin is, arguably, the most popular of these but the TV Movie has a long and rich history of crappy filmmaking. For those of you old enough you may remember The Ewok Adventure, The Star Wars Holiday Special (see Day 3 of the Palooza), Columbo and many, many more. This particular Halloween, though, had been on my mind for months. You see, my absolute favorite band at the time, KISS, were to be featured in this TV Movie. Better still, KISS were to play themselves (you know, hard rocking super heroes with magical powers) and had to go head to head with an evil arch nemesis. Friends, look into the craptacular awesomeness that is KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park and rock and roll all night!

Buy Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park on VHS!