The Midnight Game (2013) Movie Review

Sorry it’s been a few weeks since I last posted. It’s busy season for my hubby’s business and helping out takes priority over shredding shitty movies. I mean, contemplate and ponder thoughtful movie reviews for the wonderful films my overlords at CHC deem worthy of my inspired mind.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Anyway, as I’m in a few day break before more madness ensues, I thought I’d pop in one of above mentioned films. Keep in mind, though, that I’m battling a cold so I might be a bit more heavy handed on the snark for this one.

Inspired by true events (oh, for fuck’s sake), The Midnight Game involves a handful of high school students having a little get together at Kaitlin’s house while her mother is away on business. Her friends, Jenna and Rose, invite over some boys (OMG Mom said no boiz!) Shane and Jeff.

Shane, being the QB, insists they play The Midnight Game. It’s a pagan ritual (duh) that was designed to ‘help you follow the rules’. They have to confess their fears, write their names on some paper with a drop of their blood, then each light a candle. If a candle goes out before the allotted deadline at 3:33am (I honestly drifted a bit during the exposition here so I don’t know why that’s the chosen time) and is not relit in ten seconds, the Midnight Man will come to punish you. Come on, let’s play! What could go wrong? We’re teenagers and we’re invincible!

Movie Review: Would You Rather (2012)

You know, I’ve adored Brittany Snow since I saw her debut in The Pacifier (and John Tucker Must Die, Hairspray, Pitch Perfect...you know, regular CHC fare). Not every film choice she’s made has been a good one (Prom Night remake, anyone?) but when this movie came out, I figured I would give it a shot, even though the idea has already been done…

Would You Rather stars the always terrifically awesome Jeffrey Combs as Shepard Lambrick, a bored billionaire who likes to play with peoples lives. He finds those souls out there who are so desperate for money that they will do ANYTHING for a chance at some big bucks (degenerate gamblers, whores, family medical emergencies, etc.). 

Iris is just such a soul. Her brother has leukemia and with both parents dead, it’s up to Iris to pay the bills. Her brother’s doctor understands the hardship and introduces her to Mr. Lambrick. All she has to do it show up to a dinner party, play a game, and if she wins, she goes home with a shit ton of cash. And he and his corporation will find a donor for her brother, pay all the medical expenses, and set them up for life. How can she refuse?

And so Iris, and 7 other folks, sign up to the challenge. Lambrick gives them a chance to back out but of course, no one does. And then it’s too late. The game they have to play is Would You Rather. Each player is given a choice between two options and they have to pick one or they are eliminated (hint, they’re killed). Both options are equally nasty but there’s a lotta scratch involved here! All must play the game until only one person is left standing (literally or figuratively, depending on the choices made).

Who do you think survives the game?

Movie Review: Would You Rather...? (2012, IFC Midnight)

...well, well, well...what do we have here, ladies and gentlemen?? How so very interesting that the last time we amassed together here, to waxrapsonic about a movie involving a wound-up, ticking time clock, actor Mark Hamill, adorned in a most eccentric sort of character, was sadistically torturing a fellow crime cohort for information, with the sharpened lead stinger of a number two pencil (...see previous review of "Sushi Girl"). Yet, here we all are gathered, once again...with yet another rusty old time clock, relentlessly ticking away...and yet another game of uncompromising brutality and sadism. And a question for you fine folks, out there...oh, yes...a most intriguing question to be posed in this gathered arena. Just how far would you be willing to go...what would you be willing to do...how much would you be willing to sacrifice...how far would you be willing to compromise your most unswervingly and steadfast convictions...for money?? This is the rather intriguing...wholly guard-lowering...and potentially fatal query afforded to several willing, albeit curious 'contestants', in the midst of what gradually progress into a painfully unrelenting exercise in human truths, values and vulnerability...a truly sadistic and torturous game to be played here, called "Would You Rather...??"...

Angry Birds Now Available on Google Chrome and Angry Merch!

For you cheapo losers who still haven't gotten a smartphone, there is still hope. Yeah, yeah, don't tell me your contract isn't up, or you haven't gotten a chance to shop around. Android, iPhone, you've heard of it. either way, you can now play Angry Birds on your computer in HD.

All you need to do is download Google Chrome. If that's already your browser, head over to the app section and download the big Angry Birds app. If you've already played on your phone, it'll be fairly similar to what you're used to, except easier to beat with the smoother interface. Basically, your fat thumbs, ads and phone lag won't be a problem. There are also some Chrome specific levels, but you have to hit the logos on certain levels to unlock them. There is also a promise of more to come.

I'm also amazed at the amount of things available for purchase with the Birds attached. There are plush toys, t-shirts, key rings, pins and phone accessories. Click the links to find them on Amazon.com and enjoy!

The App Burrito: Volume 1 - Fightin' Words

I might be considered a grammar Nazi to some people. I can't help it. I love words. If I didn't, I wouldn't write so much. It is super fun for me. I suppose it goes back to my comedy hero, George Carlin. The guy made language his bitch. I think that's why I enjoy the following apps. The greatest thing about smartphones is that you can do anything with them., What do I choose to do? I play a century old board game and do crossword puzzles. Old am I.

---

Wordfeud

I never played a ton of Scrabble when I was a kid. I always enjoyed it, but it just never came up. I am a spelling guru, and I love to learn new words. Wordfeud is a game that basically lets you play Scrabble without boundaries. I have played some vile words on this game. My friend and I have played JAGS, CUNT, SHAT and so many other horrific things. There are some words that somehow don't make the cut, like ZEN, but for the most part, you can do what you want. The game allows you to randomize the bonus spaces like double and triple word score. It also allows you to play with specific people or random strangers. You can chat within the game, which is also very cool. Each player has up to seventy-two hours to take a turn, so it can fit into your busy life at your pace. When it is your turn, you can choose to receive a notification from the game. At the time I write this, I think I have nine games going.

App Reviews: Angry Birds & Angry Birds Seasons

I'm not sure why I even downloaded this app. I am a person who becomes obsessed with games. I have far too little time to deal with such tomfoolery, but yet, here I am writing about this thing that has become my crack cocaine. Angry Birds, ladies and gentlemen, is my new toilet game.

Find Angry Birds on Amazon.com

Toilet game? Yes, toilet game. The bathroom used to be a place for newspapers and magazines. It then became a place for little handheld games like solitaire or blackjack. Now it is the realm of the Android and the iPhone. Ladies, you may not understand this, but for a man the only true place of peace and serenity is his bathroom. That is where he may think, and that is where he may stink. That is where he cleans and dirties himself. That is the only remaining place that he can go in which no living soul will bother him. You can have your den or retardedly named man cave, but for me, I am always king when I am upon my throne.