Movie Review: In the Land of Cannibals (2004)

Again, I have been absent too long from the CHC universe. I have a sizable stack of nothing but gems, I’m sure, to work my way through just for you people. You shall miss my snark no more!

My return is heralded by a juicy little morsel about cannibals in the jungle. Now, I’ve never seen Cannibal Holocaust so I can’t do a compare/contrast. I know...I’m disappointed in me, too.

In the Land of Cannibals begins with a troupe of commandos flying into the jungles of Brazil (via the Philippines) on a search and rescue mission. Some random General’s daughter went missing on some vague trip to the area earlier. So our merry band of Army brats is here to save the day. I guess. They seem rather inept to me.

With the help of a local guide (Romero) and his native scout (Isaiah), the group sets out to find Sarah Armstrong and anyone else from the original group that might still be alive. They have to worry about the People of the Lake, though, an indigenous tribe of cannibals. No on has ever seen them, of course, or if they have they didn’t live to tell the tale (so who exactly tells the tales about them?).

Luckily they have a prisoner from another local tribe - not cannibals but they DO eat people as part of some ritual (doesn’t that make them cannibals?). They use him to find his village where they might learn about the People of the Lake. But not before stumbling across a guy performing a ritual on his unfaithful wife (read: mutilating her genitalia, gutting her, then eating her uterus). I think I blacked out a little after that bit.

ANYWAY…

Movie Review: Red Scorpion (1988, Synapse Films)

I feel like I missed the Dolph Lundgren train. After Ivan Drago and He-Man, he went on to play a series of action heroes that included the Punisher himself, Frank Castle. It all blew past me as I focused on Seagal and Van Damme. It seems that I was missing out.

Red Scorpion was only Lundgren's third movie. It followed the previously mentioned films and was only his second time taking the lead role (Masters of the Universe was the first). It's also the second time he played a Soviet Russian, and according to a bonus interview on the Synapse re-release, he pulled heavily from his time on Rocky IV. Red Scorpion is filled with the politics of the time, and apparently, the filming was as harrowing at times as the story itself.

Movie Review: The Tillman Story (2010)

Before the deaths of Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, the biggest story of the Iraq/Afghanistan wars was the death of Arizona Cardinals star Pat Tillman. The NFL favorite made the surprising choice to leave the league and millions of dollars behind to become an Army Ranger with his brother, Kevin. It seemed like the most selfless and patriotic act someone could commit at the time. In his death, he was lionized as a hero, given the Silver Star, and held up by the government as a true patriot. That was all great, until the truth came out.

Buy The Tillman Story Blu-ray or DVD

Movie Review: Brothers (2010)

When I originally saw trailers for this movie, I was intrigued. On the surface, the story seems simple. A man goes off to war and is presumed to have been killed. His brother falls in love with his wife. He returns and is angry. Shit hits the fan. In essence, this assumption is right, but Brothers is so much more than that.

Buy Brothers on DVD and Blu-ray

Tobey Maguire is decorated Marine Captain Sam Cahill, complete with a great family that includes a wife, Grace, portrayed by Natalie Portman, and two young daughters. He is getting ready to head back to Afghanistan for another tour of duty. The day before, he picks up his troublemaker brother Tommy, portrayed by Jake Gyllenhaal, from jail. The two catch up, and the entire family gathers for a goodbye dinner. While stepmom is happy to see everyone together again, dad decides to shame his criminal son with his brother's accomplishments. Of course, that doesn't go well. The next day, Sam heads off and ends up in a helicopter over Afghanistan. Enemy fire comes in, and all are presumed dead. Upon hearing the news, the remaining family adjusts, and brother Tommy takes an active role in the family as any good uncle would. He cleans up his act, and he and Grace become close. I won't reveal the extent of the relationship.