Movie Review: The Hot Nights of Linda (1975; Eurocine/Severin)

...back in the good ol' grindhouse theater days of the early '70's, to mid '80's, this viewer remembers having mentally...at least, unconsciously...latched onto the production studio name of 'Eurocine', as well as the occasional smattering of films, put forth by this guy, Jesus Franco...or Jess Franco, as he was alternately coined. Of course, once home video became a standard norm, and the local video store...if they were respectably savvy, as far as cult and genre films...began to stock and shelve many of these European imports, the names 'Eurocine' and 'Jess Franco'...once flickered on the viewing screen...were fondly brought back to mind, once again. And having already partaken of some of these cult film classics in the stale, musty darkness of grindhouse venues, this ardent viewer salivatingly knew quite well that with a 'Eurocine' film...the studio which by now, well recognized and revered sleaze master Jess Franco, often favored...now available in the privacy of of one's abode, what was in store for this eagerly anticipating viewer, was nothing short of raw and unbridled sleaze, at it's very finest. Oh, those titles, though..."Female Vampire"..."Kiss Me, Killer"..."Women Behind Bars"..."Devil Hunter"..."Zombie Lake"..."White Cannibal Queen"..."Oasis of the Zombies"...as well as this review's 'flavor-of-the-moment'...a moody and tempered bit of obscure and underappreciated Eurocine/Jess Franco sleaze, which features Jess' often-used sexy darling, actress Lina Romay, has escaped even the most ardent of cult film aficionados, and has finally seen the mirrored sheen of digital home video, thanks to the astute film acquisitioners, over at Severin...1975's "Hot Nights of Linda". Is it as 'hot' as the title...as well as the erotically alluring artist's rendering on the DVD/Blu-Ray cover...implies?? Let's find out, shall we??

Movie Review: Junkie (2013, Indiecan Entertainment)

...ah, yes...the ol' time-worn, though still timeless 'odd couple' plot device. The 'what if' driven coupling...sometimes amiable, sometimes reluctant...of two abrasive and acidic personalities, set invariably against each other. Polar opposites...the oil and vinegar types...the ying, against the yang...Baby Jane and Blanche...Oscar and Felix...Riggs and Murtaugh...Elliot and Beverly...Tyler Durden and...well, the other guy (...Sheesh!! All these years, and it wasn't until now that it hit me, that 'the other guy' was not even named)...haphazardly walking that fine line between compatibility and incompatibility. Will they find that happy medium, in order to co-exist...at the very least, work together...or will they drag each other down, down, down, into a dark and inescapable abyss?? Come on, people...be perfectly honest, now; sure, it's fun and interesting to watch two totally different types, finding it within themselves to amiably play their differences harmoniously in tandem, in order to get the job done, no matter what 'the job' is. However, isn't it so much more outrageously fascinating to watch two polar opposites, tug and pull at each other, gratingly...combiningly driving each other down exponentially faster than what each separately might voluntarily plummet. Like watching two freight trains, barrelling incessively and inevitably towards each other at high speed, on opposite sides of the same track...the resulting and unavoidable crash, a sad and tragic, albeit irresistibly compelling inevitability. After all, misery does love company...and of course, demands an audience...

Movie Review: Berberian Sound Studio (2012, IFC)

Some of the finest horror films - or films for that matter - have a handful of pertinent things molded together perfectly to make them a solid moviegoing experience. For me, one of those main components that can literally make a movie terrifying is a well done soundtrack. John Carpenter comes to mind mind as someone who has used this skill in that department to his advantage. Of course the earlier films of the great Dario Argento (Suspiria, Deep Red) and his frequent collaboration with the talented group, Goblin, also show how great it is when it's done well. Peter Strickland's Berberian Sound Studio makes some interesting homages to some of the better Italian horror films of the 70's and 80's fo and has an interesting story on post-production sound and how it effects the characters in the film. Is it enough though?

Toby Jones (Captain America: First Avenger, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) plays Gilderoy, a quiet, lumpy English sound engineer starting again on a production for a horror film in Italy about witches. Nervous and seemingly out of place around the voice actors and other crew, Gilderoy has unenviable task of working with an ego-maniac director, Giancarlo Santini (Antonio Mancino). Gilderoy gradually starts to lose his sanity from the tension experienced in trying to complete this project -- one that he’s not too thrilled with to begin with. Berberian Sound Studio, has horror elements, but it really is more about the behind the scenes of a horror film. Some of what is shown is enjoyable to see, like the techniques on how music and dialogue is recorded to sync up with the film and even some interesting foley work that includes splattering watermelons and stabbing honey dew melons for death scenes.

Movie Review: House On Straw Hill (1976, Blu-ray/DVD combo, Severin)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Let me start off by saying I've been trying to track this film down since I was thirteen years old. I was twelve when I first saw "Blood for Dracula" which started my love for all things Udo Kier. I searched and searched for this film with no luck. Thirteen years later, finally the film sees the light of day in the U.S. on glorius Blu-ray no less from Severin. Which is a company run by fans for fans of cult cinema.

This release was easily the most anticipated release of 2013 for me. I mean waiting and searching 13 years for a film and then finally to see it announced I was nothing short of amazed. Now thirteen years is a lot of time to build up hype and expectations. Did the film live up to it's name, was it deserving the video nasty label and being banned? No, it should have been banned. Despite some violence and an abundance of excellent nudity, the film is directed with pure class by James Kenelm Clarke. Who's only film I was familiar with was "Let's get laid" starring sex kitten Fiona Richmond.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #126 - Holiday Movie Memories

Kevin shares some of his favorite holiday movie memories and thanks those that made it a good year at the Cheese.

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"Rewind This!" Coming to DVD January 14th 2014!

BEFORE BLU-RAY AND DVD, BEFORE YOUTUBE AND CAMERA PHONES, THERE WAS VHS, THE VIDEO BREAKTHROUGH THAT CHANGED IT ALL

REWIND THIS!

The Nostalgia-Filled History of the Home video Format, Told by Both Filmmakers and Movie-Renting Fans, Arrives on DVD From Film Buff on January 14, 2014

The videocassette tape, once the cutting edge of home entertainment, is now a relic, but the story of its rise and fall becomes compelling viewing in REWIND THIS!, a loving and enlightening history of the format and the lives it helped change. The documentary comes to DVD from FilmBuff on January 14, 2014, with an SRP of $24.98. The film will also be available as a DVD/VHS bundle exclusively through Amazon.

Until the late 1970s, the only way to see movies uncut and uncensored was in a theater or on the new and not-widely-available pay cable. But the arrival of VHS, and its competing videotape format Beta, created a revolution that would ultimately change how movies were seen, distributed and even produced. It was an exploding industry without rules, where new terms like "fast-forward" and "direct-to-video" entered the vocabulary, and where the previously unheard of notion of owning movies became a reality. The simultaneous invention of the camcorder allowed everyone to become a filmmaker, leading to, among other things, the "found footage" genre of movies epitomized by The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity, not to mention the rise of the adult industry.

Movie Review: Murder University (DVD, 2012)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Murder University is the latest film from Wild Eye releasing. A company that for the past couple of years has had a pretty good eye (no pun intended) for releasing quality genre films. They continue the success with releasing this gem. Within the first two minutes a gal already has her top removed and is ready to get down... what happens? Oh boy, she hears a noise and asks her boyfriend to investigate. He responds "Are you serious" "Yes or no sex", then he says "fine, but you better be ready when I get back". "Get back" oh boy I love this shit. I'm watching a modern day 80's horror film.

He is then killed within the next minute... yes this is pure 80's horror. Then a Lesbian kiss, a few more murders, a chase happens and the John Carpenter 80's style score kicks in. All within the 6 minute mark... then the theme song with the lyrics "Murder University" kicks in... I'm in horror heaven baby.

Movie Review: Christmas with the Dead (2012)

Review by John Beutler

...ah, the cherished traditions of the Christmas season...adorning the tree with all manner of colorful shimmer, sparkle and sash...suspending those goodie-filled stockings over the warming fire heath...neighbors decoratively duking it out, trying to outdo each other in twinkly, animated yard shows...ring-a-ding Xerox copy Santas at the local Food Marts, standing next to hand-me-down Halloween cauldrons, now containing coin jingle, instead of a witch's brew...the presents...the egg nog...the wreath on the door...the outdoors Christmas lights..."...Honey, the outdoors Christmas lights; when are you gonna put them up??"..."...Oh man, do I HAVE to, dear?? Can't it wait until tomorrow?? I just wanna lie here, and...and...and, hey...what's with the flashing lights outside?? Those colorful fireworks in the sky??...

Movie Review: Zombie Massacre (2012, Extreme Video/Entertainment One)

...(...OK, movie time, movie time...Let's see...What'll it be, what'll it be...Da-ta-dee ta-dee, ta-da-ta-dee ta-dee...Ah, yes...What do we have next, on the pile...Hmmm...What's this?? "Zombie Massacre?" Presented by...by...wha...NOOOOOOO!!! Huff...huff...pant...huff...Now, wait a second...Take a deep breath... Breeeethe...Breeeethe...Breathe in...There, that's it...Now, breathe out...That's it...See, you can do it...You can get through it...After all, it's...it's only a Uwe Boll movie...)...

...sigh...alright, all levity aside, let's start off by getting the usual Uwe Boll issue out of the way, right here and now. Yes, the dude has garnished a notorious and infamous reputation for having written, produced and directed what has been indelibly striken and monikered as truly terrible schlock. Yes, there has been quite an air of mystery, regarding not only how he manages to find financing for all of his films, but also, how he manages to attract notable star talent, like Jason Statham, Ben Kingsley and Michael Madsen. Yes, as such, Uwe Boll has suffered the M. Night Shyamalan stigma of being lambasted and heavily criticized, no matter what production he attaches his name to. However, given that this viewer unfailingly keeps an open mind on just about everything set before him, and as such, tries ever so much to take each movie on it's own individual merit...well, this viewer tends to dive right in, all the while, holding his nose, so to speak...

Movie Review: Santa Claws (1996)

It’s Day 4 in the David Hayes 12 Days of Christmas Crap Review-a-Palooza and I think I’ve really hurt myself this time. Oh the humanity!

On the fourth day of Christmas, the Head Cheese gave to me… four migraine headaches (on top of one another).

What in the hell happened to John Russo? I mean, this guy was a legend. Screenwriter for Night of the Living Dead, novelist and screenwriter for Return of the Living Dead, The Booby Hatch… even shlock like The Majorettes is fun, but something happened. I think it was the 1990 remake of NOTLD (directed by Tom Savini). I think that broke John Russo like a twig. In all fairness, it broke most everyone that watched it like a twig.

It must get tough for John around the holidays, you know? People are happy and sharing good will. John tries to keep up, a smile plastered across his face, until he gets home. He probably sits in the dark, alone, trying not to think about the huge budgets and fanbase that George Romero has… for co-writing the same movie that launched an international, high-paying career as a director. John tries not to dwell on the holiday feast that George is sharing with the large and loving Romero family while he is bending back the top of a cat food can. But then inspiration can hit! After all, it’s 1996 and he knows someone with a video camera (that someone being long-time collaborator Bill Hinzman who most people know as the first zombie in NOTLD… from 1968). John knows the holidays are upon them and everyone loves a Christmas-themed horror movie. Turning to an ancient typewriter, John feels the burn of creation once more as he single-finger taps out the title of his newest epic, the one to launch him so far beyond George Romero that Georgie’s going to have to get double Coke-bottle lenses to see John now. Click, click, click and the world is changed forever. Well, at least my world.  John Russo just typed Santa Claws.

My Best & Worst of 2013

By: Rob Sibley

2013 has been a surprisingly good year for horror & cult films in general. Tis the season so I decided to put together a list of my top ten favorite films of the year. Also included is a list of films I felt didn't live up to the expectations I had for them.

2013 compared to 2012 was night and day. Last year I had to struggle to think up any decent horror flicks. For a recap of my list last and year and all my fellow CHC buddies listen to the hilarious http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2012/12/cinema-head-cheese-podcast-77-best-of.html

This is a year that I am proud to be a horror fan and a genre fan in general.

THIS VALENTINE'S DAY, WARM YOURSELF UP WITH NIKKATSU!

SEX HUNTER: 1980

AND

NURSE GIRL DORM: STICKY FINGERS

SEX HUNTER: 1980

impulse Pictures continues its assault on your sensations with two new Nikkatsu releases!

Miki, a young and talented ballet dancer, is accepted into an exclusive, and very private, academy run by a mysterious woman.  Miki wants to further her dance education and rekindle her relationship with her boyfriend, but soon discovers all the horrible perversions forced upon the academy students. She is subjected to constant violent sexual acts and torture and realizes there may be no escape!  With similar tones to Italian horror maestro Dario Argento’s masterwork SUSPIRIA, SEX HUNTER: 1980 is one of the more controversial entries in the Nikkatsu Erotic Films Collection.  The depictions of disturbing sexual violence so concerned Nikkatsu studios, they actually warned director Toshiharu Ikeda to tone things down for his next film!

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #125 - Shia LaDouche

Kevin and Jeff talk about Shia LaBeouf's plagiarism of Daniel Clowes. Kevin shares his thoughts on Desolation of Smaug and wonders why Benedict Cumberbatch is such a big deal. Jeff reviews Nightmare City, and that leads into discussion cannibal movies, John Carradine and Christopher Lee's musical career.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

Support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment by clicking the links on our Sponsors page!

Movie Review: Jail Bait (2014, DVD)

Review By: Rob Sibley

 This is what I'm talking about, this film easily makes it onto my best of list for 2013. I know you are going to see the "Asylum" name and just assume, "Okay, they ripped off Orange Is the New Black". Not the case here, Jailbait is based on a graphic novel and has nothing to do with "Orange". Which was a highly overrated TV show for an audience who wasn't familiar with women in prison flicks.

Jared Cohn directed this, an Asylum regular director of 12/12/12/, Hold Your Breath and Atlantic Rim to name a few. The film stars an up and coming actress Sara Malakul Lane, who is building up an impressive resume of performances. She got her start in the underrated Seagal film shot in Thailand "Belly of the Beast". She also was the star of 12/12/12 in which she gave a solid performance despite all the craziness that so-rounded her.

Movie Review: "The First Time/Oriental Babysitter" (1978/77, Essex/Vinegar Syndrome)

...whoever it once was that said, in the far and away-back, 'music soothes the savage beast', clearly did not foresee it's arousing effects and application, in the varied and widely eclectic genre of blue movies. Given a specific sex scene, from a specific film, from the countless number of films produced since the inception of the genre, the type of music attached to the scene, clearly has the ability to set, manipulate and change the tone, the attitude, the emotional fervor...even the level of arousal, depending upon the viewer (...what was it, someone else said, at one time?? 'Different strokes for different folks'??). As with most films, the music...pieces strategically placed in concert with each other...often times has the power to ratchet up the potency of certain scenes...even the whole film, itself...to a most erotically appreciative pinnacle. And this is what stands out, foremost creatively, in Vinegar Syndrome's latest 'drive-in' two-fer...two delectable and ironically deceptive-titled films from the golden age of '70's X-rated movie fold...from the auteur production studio of Essex, and the deftly welded direction of Anthony Spinelli (...under the alternate nom-de-plum, Leonard Burke), it's 1978's "The First Time", and 1977's "Oriental Babysitter"...

...we open up with Sue (Mimi Margan), who is engaged in a steamy sex scene, and appearingly, very good at what she does; to the amazement of her handsome co-star...as well as Jake (Jack Wright), a lawyer, who's house is being used for the porno shoot...who catches her in between takes, this was her very first outing, in front of the camera. Thinking back onto how she got where she presently is, Sue recalls being coerced into doing X-rated films by her ex-boyfriend, Jan (Joey Silvera), an unmotivated self-serving slacker, who becomes enraged...even roughly taking it out on Sue, sexually...when it is suggested that he find a job, to help support their household... 

Movie Review: The Looking Glass (2011)

Directed by Colin Downey
Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Scene: Two 1950's scientists in a planetary observatory. One of them spots something in his telescope.

Scientist: Dr. Mason! Dr. Mason! … I'm sorry. I guess it was nothing. A sudden light reflection, it startled me!

Dr. Mason: No doubt a comet or a meteor!

Scientist: No, it seemed to be a drill-shaped thing, revolving. I don't know,  It must have been imagination, but it did make me realize how desperately alone the earth is. Hanging in the space like a speck of food floating in the ocean .sooner or later to be swallowed up by some creature floating by!

Dr. Mason: Oh come, now!

Scientist: Time will tell Dr. Mason. We can only wait … and wonder how … and wonder when ...

This scene, scored with the same library music found in Night of the Living Dead (1968)  is from the classic 1959 clunker Teenagers from Outer Space (1959) and is played off a TV set in The Looking Glass. The existential dread serves as commentary in regards to the plight of its protagonist, Paul (Patrick O'Donnell).

Movie Review: 2 Guns (2013, Universal Pictures)

...in the past few years, a most unique and unconventional phenomenon, akin to recent genre films, has taken...and continues to take place: the acquisition and production of feature films, based upon much more obscure graphic comic book properties, which are considerably lesser-known by the general public, and which go against the grain, as far as typical conventions and standards, normally expected by the devoted masses, in films like these. Coming in below the radar, just beneath the surface, and sometimes, breezing in and out of attention, like a whiff...overshadowed by comic book-themed juggernauts, featuring overly familiar bat-men, spider-men, men of steel and mutants...are the oddities...the curiosities...the misfits, which under the deftly welded hands of writers, producers and directors, have wrought...give or take, the occasional schlocky clunker or two...some rather interesting, embraceable and quite entertaining results. In some cases, wildly imaginative and eclectically conceived...never mind, the now-popular, unconventional staples of "Men in Black" and "Kick-Ass"...we're talking more the blood-spattering, barbarous exploits of "Solomon Kane"...the well-armed, hyperkinetic retirees of "RED"...the supernaturally-driven, humanity-devoted sleuthing of "Dylan Dog" and "R.I.P.D."...these comic book genre 'oddballs' are out to prove that they can garnish a life, and a foothold on the genre, as equally capable as those of the high-flying, dark-cowled, web-spinning, razor-clawed variety. And so, getting much more down to earth...kicking up the dust, with all barrels a-blazin', and verbal quips a-spewin'...with the riotously rollicking force of a Michael Bay/Bruckheimer actioner (...which, in a good number of ways, it resembles), we have the 'new kid on the block' as far as tapping into that obscure graphic comic book well; flying off the drawn & paneled pages, and onto the screen...with dynamically explosive results, no less...it's "2 Guns"...

Movie Review: The Christmas Season Massacre (2001)

It's Day 11 in the David Hayes 12 Days of Christmas Crap Review-a-Palooza and, thankfully, it is almost over. Almost like a Christmas miracle. Most definitely un-miraculous, though, is our entry for this Christmas Eve. Watching this film would turn Scrooge back into the awful miser he was before the ghostly visits. Watching this film would make George Bailey want to stay dead. Watching this film just sucks.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Head Cheese gave to me... hope, because there is only one day left.

Peer with me, folks, a scant ten years ago. Eric Stanze, he of the cutting edge independent horror (like Ice from the Sun and Scrapbook) decides to write and appear in a comedy. Right off the bat we know that this comedy will be irreverent, gory and, probably, a lot of fun. Two out of three is definitely bad. I nearly bought a bag of chestnuts to shove into my mouth and attempt suicide halfway through this film. Bear with me, true believers, as we delve into The Christmas Season Massacre.

Buy Christmas Season Massacre on DVD!

Movie Review: KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978)

Oh joy! Oh happiness! It is a Christmas miracle! Folks, fans and fiends it is finally Day 12 of the David Hayes Christmas Crap Review-a-Palooza! This means no more egg nog-scented night terrors, no more green and red bloodshot eyes and no more crazy holiday movies. I feel like running out and hugging everyone. Much like Ebeneezer Scrooge after the final ghost appeared, I want to run in the streets and give gifts to the bastard little children. Why? For this final film I've given myself a little gift. It isn't a holiday movie, per se, but it is a gift to myself and what better time can someone have than at an amusement park?

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Head Cheese gave to me... nothing, I gave this to myself!

It's 1978 and I am seven years old. It's All Hallow's Eve and I've begged, for nearly a week, to stay up a little later than usual. You see, in the 1970s there was this concept called the “TV Movie.” Essentially, it was an original movie made specifically for television. The Night Stalker, starring Darrin McGavin is, arguably, the most popular of these but the TV Movie has a long and rich history of crappy filmmaking. For those of you old enough you may remember The Ewok Adventure, The Star Wars Holiday Special (see Day 3 of the Palooza), Columbo and many, many more. This particular Halloween, though, had been on my mind for months. You see, my absolute favorite band at the time, KISS, were to be featured in this TV Movie. Better still, KISS were to play themselves (you know, hard rocking super heroes with magical powers) and had to go head to head with an evil arch nemesis. Friends, look into the craptacular awesomeness that is KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park and rock and roll all night!

Buy Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park on VHS!

Movie Review: Ip Man: The Final Fight (2013, Blu-ray)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Quick history lesson for anyone who isn't familar with Ip Man. Long story short his was the man who taught Wing Chun to Bruce Lee. 

IP MAN: THE FINAL FIGHT is the fifth film thus far to tell the story of Ip. The first two starred Donnie Yen as a middle aged Ip. They were excellent pictures but they were focused on amazing action set pieces choreographed by Sammo Hung then they were on telling an accurate story of the real life Ip.

After the first two Ip Men films with Donnie Yen were huge hits world wide it was only a matter of time before more Ip films were to follow. Donnie had no interest in returning to make a third film since he figured he couldn't top Part II (He was right). So director Herman Yau, known for his CAT III films such as Untold Story and Ebola Syndrome stepped in to make "The Legend Is Born". The third in the series which starred Dennis To as a slightly younger Ip. It was an alright fight flick but nothing special.