Directed by Courtney Fathom Sell
Starring Reverend Jen, Faceboy and Reina Terror
Not surprisingly, I had never heard of ASS studios before popping in this DVD. Nor had I heard of Courtney Fathom Sell or Reverend Jen, the studios founders and collaborators on this little collection of shorts. Ranging from 20 to about 8 minutes each, they run the entire gambit of weirdness, from the bizarre and disgusting (The Sinful Bitches), to the downright sexy and stimulating (The Bitches of Bowery), to the absurd and silly (Killer Unicorn) to the “Who's fucking idea was that?” (Elf Workout).
The first of the four shorts, The Sinful Bitches, is about a naive couple who come to New York. While searching for a cheap apartment they stumble across a bizarre mother and son who are renting a room. Mom is a drunk with an impressive Troll collection and the son's name is Mangina. He's missing a foot and has a latex vagina glued to his crotch. (I couldn't make this shit up). After deciding to rent the room, hubby goes out job hunting which gives mom the opportunity to dope up the wife and pimp out her out for some quick cash. Hubby returns to find his wife tricked-out and no longer in need of his husbandly services. There were some genuinely funny and gross moments in this one, highlighted by the son encouraging mom to shove a vibrator in his mangina. “Push it all the way up in there mom, until it disappears.” Weird fucking shit to say the least.
The second short, and my personal favorite, The Bitches of Bowery, is shot in black and white and tells the story of an innocent but very busty Catholic schoolgirl, (Reina Terror), who walks into a dive bar to wait for her date who never shows up. While sitting at the bar she is spied by a leather-bound trio of lesbians who decide to “take her under their wing”. What ensues is an ultra-erotic dream-like sequence, heavy on drugs, alcohol, breast fondling and girl-on-girl lip-locking. After this initiation into the gang, all four girls hit the streets to exact revenge on the guy who stood the girl up on her date. There was a great rockabilly soundtrack to this one, and overall, it definitely got the blood pumping if you know what I mean.
Short number three, Killer Unicorn, is about a young gay man, (Faceboy), who after being bullied by a group of douchebags, makes his way home and soon afterwords receives a mysterious package at his door. Attached to the package is a note stating, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Inside the package is a mask in the shape of a unicorn head. Fitting the mask on transforms the effeminate youth into a hulking unicorn-man who proceeds to march back down the street to exact revenge on his tormentors. Goofy scenes of arm-wrestling and doggie-style sex ensue.
The last of the four shorts is Elf Workout. This one features Reverend Jen as the host of an easy-to-follow workout show, shot in her world famous Troll Museum (apartment), alongside all her friends. The exercises include curling beer bottles and ballet moves while opening the fridge to get another beer. Basically showing you how to work up a sweat while getting your drunk on. This one was noteworthy if for nothing else but the sight of Faceboy in a woman's gold sequined leotard, complete with a large piece of fruit stuffed in the crotch.
I found this whole fiasco refreshingly bizarre, original and entertaining. And it reminded me quite a bit of the Saturday Night Live skits of the mid-70's, only much racier at times. Perfectly over-acted, it felt like an incoherent blur of complete insanity. It was pure cheesy goodness, the kind of film you pop in the DVD player with a group of drunk friends and wait to see who will be the first one to blow beer out their nose from laughing so hard. Its low-brow indie-cinema run amok, and reminded me why I love reviewing movies. It is anything but “the same old same old”.
7 out of 10 Reviewed by KennyB
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