Movie Review: Creep Van (2012)

Reviewed by: Rob Sibley

Jigsaw drives a van... in a film called “Creep Van”. No it's not Jigsaw, but a fella who has his ride rigged up with various devices of death. The Creep is played by Mike Butler who enjoys riding around picking up hitchhikers consisting of bikers, a beach babe and anyone stupid enough to wanna jack a rusted old van.

The “hero” if you want to call him that of the film is Campbell (Brian Kolodziej) who's pretty much a slacker who gets a job working at a car wash so he can buy a car. The car or in this case van he's interested in purchasing just so happens to be the “Creeps” van. I wish I could say there was more to the movie then this but their really isn't. Campbell is given a love interest in the form of Amy (Amy Wehrell). Sadly they share pretty much zero chemistry despite both actors trying their hardest.

The acting here is hit or miss. Kolodziej does a fine job as Campbell but the script it just pretty damn dreadful. “I can always get more budds man... but my life... my life is fucking valuable” a drug dealer says to Campbell after he saves his life. But really no-one is watching or expecting this film to deliver A-list performances. With a title like Creep Van your looking for some kills and some T&A.

The film really delivers on the gore front, the special effects were done by the wizards at Almost Human. The kills almost make up for the fact that this isn't a very good movie.. The T&A helps some too, all the women are very attractive.

But the plot is just way to thin to justify it's short running time of 85 minutes. It's basically bits of sad attempts at humor with a kill or two peppered in then some shoddy romance scenes and another kill.

This would have made a terrific short film but it doesn't work as a feature. Maybe if the characters were written with a bit more depth and you got rid of the 2nd grade humor it would work.

I did enjoy the music though and the opening credit montage showed off Detroit very well. So all and all the filmmakers hearts were in the right place but it could have used a few more script polishes before it went into production.

It's a hit and miss film that falls into the category of so bad it's good. With a six pack flowing through your blood stream you could have fun with this one. Watching it sober on the other hand, you'll be bored out of your mind just waiting for the next kill to happen.

This is definitely a beer and pizza movie you watch with your buddies at 2 in the morning. Good for a laugh and some cheap thrills, but that's about it.

The DVD on the other hand is excellent. The films presented in it's original 1.78:1 aspect ratio, the 5.1. digital surround track gets the job done. The extras include a very enthusiastic commentary, which makes me wish I enjoyed the film more.

Also included is a interview with the director & actors, The “Anatomy of a killer van smash” featurette is exactly what it sounds like. You also get the theatrical trailers and some deleted scenes.

5/10 worth a look if you dig bad horror movies.