GUNS, GIRLS, ALIENS, ZOMBIES...AND CAKE, TOO!!! OK, folks...let me spin you a most excellent, albeit most unusual tale; it might sounds familiar at first, but the contrived, 'oh yeah, that's right' events abruptly skew into something not that far removed from the outer limits...and beyond. You see, we have here two able-bodied, well-skilled, black suited hitmen, trading amusing quips back and forth, and doing what they do best...BANG, BANG (...sound familiar??). One, a smart aleck, silver-tongued devil of a ladies' man, with his right hand deftly on the trigger, and his left hand, down at his...well, you get the picture. The other...equally armed, but this guy's a devoted family man, neurotically trying to hold things together...deathly afraid his wife wants to divorce him, and wouldn't you know it?? He forgets his son's birthday (...shame, shame, shame). No present. No cake. No party clown. No nothing. And so, our intrepid duo desperately sallies forth, to get what they need; but first, they need to finish their hit of the day.
You see, there's this scientist, working in this factory laboratory...the hitmen's intended target...who is pulling a fast one, and concocting a mob-sponsored drug deal on the side, cutting the drugs with this alien substance, which when introduced into human bodies, causes them to transform into blood-lustingly crazed, phallic-tentacled, half-human/half-alien mutant half-breeds...and yes, it's contagious. Naturally, if these creatures get out of the factory, the world is...duh, doomed. Like, as if our able-bodied hitmen don't have enough to do, right?? Now, they have to save the world, too?? Sheesh!!
The question is...WILL they save the world?? Will they successfully wipe out the whole lot of these mutant creatures?? Will they have enough bullets to finish the job?? Will the 'silver-tongued devil' get the girl?? But more importantly, will our hapless family man find a suitable present for his son?? A cake?? A party clown?? A deliciously greasy piece of junk food cinema, the clever and witty dialogue flies as rapid-fire fast and furious, as the non-stop action, the non-stop bullets and the non-stop spray of green & red goo. This one's a devilishly & diabolically amusing little ditty of a horror comedy, and comes highly recommended, in my book. Check it out, post haste...
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