...oh, how this viewer misses the good
ol' days of late-night cable TV...that bygone era of wildly eclectic, after-hours television broadcasting cache of movies 'til dawn, which generously stretched from the stroke of midnight, up to the crack of dawn, on Friday and Saturday nights. Y'all remember those times, right?? An out-of-control,
rable-rousing night of partying, culminating into a quiet, deadened and lethargic evening in
someone's darkened living room, wherever the party might have been, that night (...now, now...you have your familiar post-party drunken scenario, I've got mine...if you please, just read on, OK??). If you weren't lucky enough to pair up with someone cuddly, in one of the assorted house-party bedrooms...and had not yet passed out from the varied and
undescriptive alcoholic concoctions, which were being liberally passed around...you and whoever might have also been conscious at the time, probably found yourself on a beaten, battered and smelly living room couch, surrounded by the 'corpses' of passed-out
partiers, with nothing but the cathode tube glow of the television, emitting a flickered
eerie light, all about. Nursing a warm, half-bottle of...of whatever was closest, picking up the remote, and giving it the old 'click, click, click', you scan the channels, until...whoa!! Yeah!! USA Up All Night!!! Now, we're talking!!! Horror Flicks...Teen Sex Romps...Boobies...Dim-Witted, Monster Hunting Teens...Slimy Sci-
Fi Space Junkies...More Boobies...Action-Filled Atrocities...And More Boobies...The Cheesiest of the Cheesiest B-Flicks Ever Made...with occasional, sometimes groan-inducing, sometimes genuinely knee-slapping commentary by...depending upon the night...Rhonda Shear or Gilbert Gottfried. Those movies...oh, those movies...titles like "Sorority Babes in the
Slimeball Bowl-o-
rama", "The Pink
Chiquitas", "Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death", "Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space", "Chopper Chicks in
Zombietown", and countless others ; clearly, only a certain breed of film genuinely qualified for the haplessly respectable place of being broadcast on USA Up All Night...some of which proudly...or shall we say 'shamelessly' wore badges of respectability amongst
undiscriminating cult film devotees (...for myself, I remember seeing USA Channel-
truncated versions of "Day of the Dead", "
Frankenhooker", "Killer
Klowns from Outer Space" and "Basket Case"). Heck, even when trimmed for content, the hilariously scathing commentary by our illustrious hosts made up for content-restrictive editor's hand...we're
talkin' the type of films that shamelessly defy criticism...that cross the line of being coined 'bad', and well into the arena of '
embraceably ludicrous'...yes, THOSE kinds of films...films like...well.....