...without a doubt, Danny Trejo has to be the hardest working character actor, working in Hollywood, these days...so much so, in fact, his very presence in genre films might well be defined as outright exploitative. After all, considering his vast and eclectically varied resume of completed and in-progress starring film productions (...a 'wow' revelation, over at IMDB), it does almost seem like he appears in just about every other genre film, under the sun...for the most part, playing nearly the same 'anti-hero'-like characters that...despite the wayward change in costume, setting and situation...do not seem all that far removed from each other, from character to character. And surprisingly enough, in most of these films, Danny is cast in roles which...despite the occasional, full-blown starring role (...uh, can anyone say, "Machete"?)...don't seem to last, or fare too long, in the course of whatever film he might be featured in...with the exploitative justification being that, despite his minimal appearance in many of his films, the powers-the-be, as far as distribution and advertising, often see fit to frontline his name and mean-looking visage on film posters and home video venue covers. Taking all that in account, it might be easy to see that.....
BREAKING NEWS!!!
"We interrupt the lovingly dedicated, in-progress celebrity reveling, with this breaking report...First-Time Filmmaker Kevin King Initiates 'Kickstarter' Campaign, In Effort to Illicit Funds for Production of Dream Horror/Actioner, Called "Zombie Hunter" (...no relation to the Japanese manga), Premieres Said Film At Montreal-Based 2013 Fantasia International Film Festival...And In the End, Concocts Slap-Together Sloppy, Very Contrived, Overly Emulative, 'So What' Eye-Rolling & Shoulder-Shrugging, and Overall Brainless Entry In Well-Worn 'Zombie' Horror Film Sub-Genre"...
...there's a new drug on the streets...an extremely addictive, day-glow-hued substance, called 'Natas' (...uh, cute...very cute, as I'm sure you fine folks out there, who caught that one, will agree), and it's taking the world by storm...quite literally. Now, depress 'play', if you please...then, press 'fast-forward'...WHIZZZZZZZZZZ...depress 'fast-forward'...then, press 'play', at a point in time...a not-too-distant, desert-laden apocalyptic future, where living and breathing folk are in the minority, in favor of an overwhelming world population, consisting of flesh-eating zombies...and something worse. A lone, grizzled and burnt-out driver, in a souped-up muscle car...barreling aimlessly down an equally lonely, sun-baked highway...armed to the teeth...trying to escape a tragic past of lost loved ones, yet blastfully engaging a more tragic, albeit deadly present, filled with the living dead, survives a vicious vehicular tumble, caused by a well-aimed bullet...shot by one of several uninfected desert survivors, who thought the driver to be infected. Regaining consciousness, the dazed, battered and bruised driver finds himself in the company of said survivor group...well-armed, and led by a grim-looking, sage-spouting, facially-scarred, albeit battle-ready priest...all temporarily nestled into a for-the-moment safety by the deserted and broken-down vestiges of a small desert town...a town soon to be relentlessly besieged by an almost never-ending assault of flesh-eaters...and again, something much, much worse. As the bullets fly, the severed heads roll, and the rampant blood-spray showers, amidst an anguished and desperate battle of survival, where the odds are clearly against the living...who will survive, and where do they genuinely think they will escape to, to see a finality to the non-stop slaughter??...
...as much as yet another zombie flick, amidst countless others, might give cause for a waywardly resigning, 'tsk'-instilling head shake, this hapless viewer so very much wanted to like this flick, with hopes of catching the odd zombie film, which tries to do something slightly different, within the confines of the genre's mythos and expected standards (...which has happened, from time to time). And the advance trailer for "Zombie Hunter", seemed to promise that latter hope...what, with seemingly clever and inspirational nods to genre films of the past, such as "The Road Warrior", "Resident Evil", and a dash or two of "Star Wars" and "Terminator". However, as personal experience metaphorically dictates, in recalling this viewer's bygone high school days...specifically in 'Chemistry 101' class...the correctly measured balance of chemicals can wrought an interesting and most positive reaction, but an incorrect balance of those self-same chemical ingredients will garnish something less than reactive...limp, lifeless and disposable. Such reckless and wayward mix-master imbalance, well describes the mis-melding of genres, which results in the scattered mess, herein called "Zombie Hunter"...and in the final analysis, a most poignant question arises. With the creative forces associated with this film, given 'carte blanche', to blindly and randomly raid the hallowed 'genre idea archives'...grabbing a little of this idea over here, a little of that idea over there...oh yeah, and we just have to have a little of that idea, and this idea...really, should they have??...
...actor Martin Copping is our intrepid, albeit grizzled, unshaven, unnamed and burnt-out, black-leather-chap-clad 'Mad Max' wannabee, high-speeding it down the searing-hot desert highway, in a dusty black-hued muscle car, which regrettably sees an early demise, in this film's proceedings. There is an attempt at contemporary film noir, with this emotionally and physically embattled character, as he juggles spoken dialog with a cliched, angst-filled, thinking-out-loud narration. And in between the blasting and slicing-up of the attacking zombie populous, one cannot help but 'feel sorry' for this presumed 'hunter' character, as he is lovingly and strokingly fought for attention, by two members of the survivor clan...a couple of gals (...the strikingly beautiful and oh-so luscious-looking Claire Niederpruem and Jade Reiger)...hot, sexy, shapely and starved for sexual stimulation (...uh, like I said...sniff...sob...'poor guy'...tsk, tsk...sniff, sniff, sob...). And of course, there's the headlining, albeit short-lived 'star' of the show...yes folks, it's Danny Trejo, himself...cast as the grim-looking, sage-spoken, though...when the desperate situation calls for it...teeth-gnashing, battle-grimaced, axe-welding priest...spouting off poignant and zen-like words of wisdom, like some kind of ecclesiastic 'Yoda', or something...
...now, now...we can't be too hard on "Zombie Hunter", can we?? After all, it's understandable and easy to see what fledgling director Kevin King was going for, clearly being a fan of the 'grindhouse' cinema...in particular, director Robert Rodriguez' grueling and blood-drenched excursion into the 'zombie' genre, "Planet Terror"; in fact, given a more amiable time and place, to a respectable degree, "Zombie Hunter" might have even been a bit worthy of second-fiddle co-featuring with "...Terror". Flaws and misgivings aside, a title-misleading film (...no real 'hunters' here; just regular desperate folk, bloodily dispatching the living dead, like regular desperate folk, in any other zombie flick) like this, does have it's occasional and uniquely intriguing points. Like the repeated shots of pink and purple hued, fluorescent day-glow, cartoonishly CGI blood splatter on the camera lens...or rather, the hapless film viewer's point of view, as if to gamefully employ a sense of 3D-like, 'in-your-face interaction' between the film and the audience. And this viewer particularly got a kick out of the well-rotund, well-decayed and flaking, zombie rodeo clown...jigglingly sprinting after his intended victims with a revved-up, rusty chainsaw. Unfortunately, these moments are too few and far between, and although the film might prove to an undiscriminating some, a moderate, albeit negligible diversion, visually (...with the film's present company CGI and T&A, not withstanding)...in the end, there's nothing really gained, and nothing really ventured, here...with too many interesting ideas, instilled in the wrong proportions...a choice, bloodily rare cut of steak...drowning in an overly-preponderant pool of steak sauce, ketchup & Worcestershire...
...for those of us, most seasoned, and 40 years of age & up, who might recall...a quaint little, hyper-kinetic cartoon critter named Tymer (...as in 'time for Tymer')...a Saturday morning, commercial break 'Schoolhouse Rock' icon...once wisely, waxrapsonically and melodically exclaimed, "...don't drown your food!!" Word, to the filmmakers.....
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