Secondhand Smut #2: March & April 2014

Welcome back to this bi-monthly (and arguably bi-sexual) column about my second-hand smut findings (both films and literature). I review treasures (or trash, depending on how you look at it) and I provide you with high resolution scans of their covers. The reviews are kept short in order to have as many as possible each time.

I hope you enjoy as much as I do!

D.O.A. (1950)

A man [Edmond O'Brien from 1984 (1956)] is walking at a police station, during the fabulous credit sequence. He finds the captain and says that he has been murdered. The rest of the movie is a series of flashbacks that will let us know how did this happen. The protagonist was poisoned while he was partying, but even though we know he’s about to die (the doctors say he could live up to two weeks at the most) the film [directed by Rudolph Maté, cinematographer of La passion de Jeanne d'Arc (1928)] is still very interesting, because everybody in it seems to know more than he or she would like to admit (it is sort of an interesting whodunit). The story is very clever and I demand a remake.

This PAL DVD was released here through a newspaper and I bought it at a secondhand store for 1 euro, so I wasn’t expecting much, but still the copy’s quality was shit. Is it me or every low budget black & white flick from this era lacks proper restoration?

Movie Review: Night of the Demons (1988, Blu-ray / Combo Pack)

During the 1980’s genre films as a whole were represented nicely with the explosive popularity of the slasher film and the inevitable growth of directors like Wes Craven (Nightmare on Elm Street) and John Carpenter (Halloween, The Fog).  As we started to creep towards the end of the decade, the pickings were unfortunately slim as far good quality horror. Much of this in part to frequent censorship Nazis like MPAA president Jack Valenti, who was so bent on messing with "'violent" horror films. Oh and, well, the overall output just sucked. Jason Takes Manhattan is wonderful example of the late 80's downward spiral.

Thankfully a couple of gentlemen came to the rescue with some excellent offerings towards the end of the decade – Clive Barker with Hellraiser and Kevin Tenney with Witchboard and Night of the Demons.  Night of the Demons has now made it’s debut on Blu-ray in a DVD / Blu-ray Combo pack with Tenney’s other film via the folks at Scream Factory.

One of the most common used plot devices for some of the most entertaining horror films over the past three decades have been having that "big party" to gather all the teenagers in the film at and dispatch them in all sorts of creative ways. Night of the Demons does just that, but it also adds a neato possession and haunted house element that brings it to another level.  It’s Halloween night and Angela’s having a costume bash at the supposedly haunted funeral parlor called “Hull House”. Mimi Kinkade plays the super sexy succubus, Angela, who is almost immediately possessed by the angry spirits whilst entering the house.

Movie Review: Sinister Visions (2013)

I didn’t realize this was an anthology flick until halfway through the second story. In my defense...no. I’m just slow. Chemical Burn Entertainment brings you five short films covering a range of themes: zombies, revenge, crazy, and more. Four come from our Nordic friends (Denmark and Sweden) and one comes from the US with our very own David Hayes.

Succubus

Emma is on a dig somewhere with lots of sand and rebels. After finding a sparkly egg, in a moment of panic she drops it, unleashing a dark smoke that takes up residence in her sinuses. This nasty little entity takes control of Emma’s body and does unspeakable things to any man she fancies - not in the sex way. Well, not all in the sexy way. And Emma can only watch from the bench.

My Undead Girlfriend

This begins with found footage recorded by the last known scientist left alive after an undead epidemic sweeps the country. Then there’s an ad for a company called Holdcare. Their business is to capture the undead and put them on a leash so you never have to worry about them. Okay…

The story finally begins with a man whose fiancé wakes up a zombie. But he can’t kill her because once they are married, he’ll come into some money and that will go a long way in paying back the loan shark he owes. He just needs to fool her parents into thinking everything is still normal and the wedding can proceed.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #131 - For the Whole World to See

Kevin does a solo show filled with reviews.He talks about the 30 for 30 documentary about Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding, the doc about 1970s punk band Death, the second seasons of both Lilyhammer and House of Cards and the first season of Bates Motel.

He also touches on the career and death of Harold Ramis.

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Movie Review: Class Of Nuke 'Em High (Blu-Ray)

In the 1980's, toxic waste was as common as cocaine and Tab soda. Oh, you don't know what Tab soda is? Imagine liquid carbonated ear-wax. Ok, back on the topic at hand - you really couldn't flip on the news without seeing a piece devoted to the negative effects of toxic waste. I for one, think that toxic waste has made a very positive contribution to the narrative of a few classic cult films of note, The Toxic Avenger and today's Cinema Head Cheese Blu-Ray review, The Class of Nuke 'Em High. Troma has just gotten into the Blu-Ray production realm - with the other more recent Blu-Ray efforts being Troma favorites, Poultreygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead and Tromeo and Juliet. Poultreygeist turned out to be a hell of a package so I was anxious to dive in, head first, into the bubbling barrel of toxic goo known as Class of Nuke 'Em High.

Buy Class of Nuke 'Em High on Blu-Ray!

Movie Review: The Thing From Another World (1951)

Directed by Howard Hawks, Christian Nyby

Starring Kenneth Tobey, Margaret Sheridan and James Arness

Run time- 87 minutes


A distress signal is sent from a scientific outpost near the North Pole to the nearest U.S. Air Force base, a thousand miles away in Alaska. Radar and other instruments have detected a large metallic object entering the atmosphere and crashing into the ice, a short distance from the outpost. Quickly taking action, the Air Force commander dispatches a rescue and recovery team, thinking the object may possibly be a secret Russian aircraft of some type.

Soon after ariving at the outpost, Captain Patrick Hendry (Kenneth Tobey) and his crew, along with a few of the scientists from the outpost, led by Dr. Kerrington (Robert Cornthwaite) take the short plane ride in search of the crash site. With the object causing major magnetic disturbances to their navigation equipment, they are forced to home in on the object with a Geiger counter and eventually find their quarry, a mysterious ship, completely submerged in a layer of solid ice.

A severe miscalculation in their attempt to free the ship causes it to self-destruct though, and at the moment they think the find of the century has been lost they then discover that there is something else trapped in the ice not far away, something that looks eerily like a man.....a very, very, large man.
Using axes they then free the strange looking being, taking care to keep it locked safely in a block of ice and return it to the outpost.

Movie Review: Phantom of the Grindhouse (2013; Independent Entertainment)

...yes, this viewer'll admit it!! He'll candidly admit that as an aspiring, freelance writer, and an ardent devotee of genre films, he's fantasized that one day, he'd be afforded the opportunity...whether it'd be a conveniently open-doored opportunity, or taking on the task himself, via blood, sweat & tears sacrifice, or perhaps a juxstapositioned financial windfall...to straddle a filmmaker's chair, try it on for size, and punch out a respectable celluloid-stripped production, wrought from the bowels of personal & heartfelt, albeit devil-may-care, 'throw-anything-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks', 'gonna-do-my-vision-no-matter-what' creativity...heck, if at the very least, to be able to stand back proudly, and...for good or for bad...say, "...hey, I did that...I did that...I did that!!" And this viewer's pretty sure that these were the very thoughts of filmmaker Chris Seaver, in his early days, when he envisioned outrageously rendered, WTF concepts, with colorful monikers like Mulva, Teen-Ape, the Filthy McNasty series, Sexsquatch and least we not forget about 'Blood Fart Lake'...uh, no siree-bob (...and yes, several of these are presently...er, or should I say 'shamelessly' gracing this viewer's film collection). Well, let it be said that CS is anything but inconsistent, especially with his latest off-the-wall outing...in title and basic premise, something which might invoke promising familiarity, nostalgia and intrigue, but in overall execution...the typically outrageous rubbish, one might expect from this filmmaker...the kind of crazed outrageousness, which one might find...well, admittedly amusing and funny, in a head-nodding '...jeez, I can't believe I'm watching this' kind of way...

Movie Review: Saving General Yang (2013, Pegasus Motion Pictures/Well Go USA)

...considering the human virtues examined and upheld, there's more than great appeal and compelling intrigue, when partaking of Chinese films, which depict the best...and sometimes, the worst of man's nature. His strengths... weaknesses... ideologies... flaws... passions... sacrifices. Time and time again, Asian cinema has wrought keen focus on their historical figures and heroes...Wong Fei Hung...Hung Hei Kwoon...Fong Sai Yuk...finding them much more relatable and inspirational than invented fictional characters. And in a nutshell, that's the major juxstapositioned key to these films' invariable appeal; if one finds one's self unable to relate to these characters, or feel the sense of how real these persons actually were, then the overall substance in the events portrayed becomes minimal...even non-existent. Regrettably, such is the case with the latest dramatization of one of China's most famous historical war tales, and the fraternal band of warriors, associated with the legendary tale...told a number of times, in the past, but here, rendered with all the grandiose visual spectacle of a major war epic...but with little substance...generic, fleeting and dramatically unembraceable...

Movie Review: 6 Degrees of Hell (2012)

Really, people, if you have to tout your movie as a Corey Feldman vehicle, and he’s only in the damn thing for 10 minutes tops, you’re not giving me much hope for a fun ride. Or a good one. Or at least a tolerable one. Okay maybe this movie was sort of tolerable.

6 Degrees of Hell begins with a group of four friends as they go through a haunted hotel attraction. Kelly, Chris, Kellan, and June are only mildly amused/frightened by it but they’re having fun anyway. Afterwards they have a little private party where it comes out that June is psychic. Kelly wants a reading and immediately freaks out when June give an accurate description of Kelly’s birth. Then June starts mumbling something about doom and it’s coming and whatnot and Kelly assumes it’s all about her so boyfriend Chris has to talk her down from the ledge. When he goes to get Kelly a drink, leaving her all alone (uh oh), some white figure appears behind her and she promptly dies.

Switch over to present day and here is where we see Corey Feldman play Kyle Brenner, a paranormal investigator speaking to good cop, Hendricks, as he describes a horrific and unexplainable (unless you’re a believer) police case involving demons and possessions and that damned haunted hotel attraction. Which, as it turns out, was built over an old asylum where bad things happened. *eye roll*

Movie Review: TITUS (1999, Twilight Time)

Movie Review By Greg Goodsell

Directed by Julie Taymor

Where to begin …? Titus Andronicus (Anthony Hopkins), next in line as the Emperor of Rome returns from a 10-year campaign against the Goths. Dragging along the Queen of the Goths Tamora (Jessica Lange) and her three sons, Alarbus (Raz Degan) Demetrius (Matthew Rhys) and Chiron (Jonathon Rhys Meyers), Titus wastes no time in executing Alarbus in revenge for the death of his own sons in the battle. Titus then declines becoming the leader of Rome, and gives the title to Saturninus (Alan Cumming, looking for the entire world like Pee Wee Herman). The still very much alive Tamora and her sons are hatching a mad scheme of revenge, and shocks polite society by marrying Saturnnius. Meanwhile, Titus’ daughter, Lavinia (Laura Fraser) and her husband Bassianus (James Frane) are set upon by Demetrius and Chiron. Bassianus is thrown down a pit and Demetrius and Chiron slice out Lavinia’s tongue and chop off her hands after raping her(!). There are more double crosses and gory deaths – this film adaptation of the William Shakespeare play is nearly THREE HOURS LONG, people … Titus and his henchman kill Demetrius and Chiron, bake them into meat pies and feed them to his adversaries and most everyone dies a slow, agonizing death.

Movie Review: Young Detective Dee: Rise Of The Sea Dragon (Well Go USA, Blu-ray, 2013)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Now this is a proper return to form! Tsui Hark has been (in my opinion) a slump until his previous film "Detective Dee". It was a very good take on a Sherlock Holmes style character dropped into the Tang Dynasty era. But the first film was hit and miss. Sure it was thrilling to an extent but at the end of the day it was underwhelming.

I'm happy to report part II  is better then the first. It's a damn near perfect film actually. I know many of you like me kind of tuned out on Hark after he made three clunkers in a row. Knock Off (not Van Damme's finest moment), Zu Warriors (horrid) and the fun but very cheesy Black Mask 2 which had Traci Lords, Tobin Bell and Tyler Mane. Then out of the clear blue came "Seven Swords" with Donnie Yen which made me think "This kat still might have it. Now skipping ahead to Detective Dee: Rise Of The Sea Dragon. It's one of the best prequels of all time.

Movie Review: Man in the Dark (Blu-ray, Twilight Time)

The 3D format has been a huge tool used to draw in moviegoers to some of the biggest blockbusters over the past few years with movies like The Avengers, The Hobbit and other big budget films utilizing the gimmick to wow audiences. In a way it's made a comeback, but you know what? The format had so much more of impact when it first came out in the 1950's. William Castle used it and so did Universal for the classic monster flick, Creature from the Black Lagoon. While 3D was used for science fiction and horror the majority of the time it made one its earliest appearances was in the film-noir Man in the Dark. Twilight Time has done something special in bring this enjoyably nostalgic slice of 50's gimmickry to Blu-ray in a nifty new release.

Lew Landers' Man in the Dark follows the journey of a man named Steven Rawley (Edmond O'Brian, White Heat, The Wild Bunch), a former tough who's had his brain re-wired not to commit crimes. The urge to commit any kind of shenanigans has basically been plucked from his noggin. Great idea, right? Not so much. When Rawley isn't cooped up by a bunch of wise guys he’s being either chased by them, or the cops, all over town. The biggest challenge for him is knowing who his enemy is and whether there’s anyone out there to trust

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #130 - True Dicks

Kevin is on his own this week to discuss two movies and a new TV show. He starts with a look at The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, and he wonders why it got so much flack. He then discusses the debacle that is Snow White and the Huntsman.

After that, he talks about the first four episodes of the HBO drama True Detective, and he believes the show has an unsung star.

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Entertainment One Unleashes "Monsters" on DVD!!

THIS MARCH, ENTERTAINMENT ONE UNEARTHS 
ALL 72 NIGHTMARE-INDUCING EPISODES OF THE 
FAN-FAVORITE TV SERIES FROM THE PRODUCER 
OF "TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE" -- NEVER 
BEFORE AVAILABLE ON DVD!

MONSTERS: THE COMPLETE SERIES

Street Date: March 4, 2014
DVD SRP: $99.98 (9 discs)

Movie Review: Virgin and the Lover/Lustful Feelings (1973/1976; Vinegar Syndrome)

...ya' know?? There's an old saying, once often waved and bantered about the '70's, that said 'different strokes for different folks'; the phrase easily suggested that...hey, everyone is different, and what 'does it' for one person, might not 'do it' for another, no matter how standard, or how unusual 'it' is. Today, the saying might read more like 'whatever floats your boat', or for those more into the indivisible pleasure & pain virtues of a certain Leviathan-ruled, hellish underworld, the mantra might be '...what's your pleasure, sir?' In the end, no matter how it reads, the 'song (always) remains the same'...as Led Zeppelin once sang, and in reiterating, what 'turns on' one person may well be different from what 'turns on' another. Strangely enough...though probably not readily admitted by most...the more unusual the 'turn on', in seeing it through another's eyes, the more irresistibly compelling it is...almost as if one of 'the norm' sees, and is drawn towards something, which one just can't have...that is, without feeling out of 'the norm'. Such tortured complexity of character and emotion...in self-discovery, self-expression and self-indulgence...is the flavor of the moment, as Vinegar Syndrome lets their freak flag fly, in their latest 'drive-in' double feature offering, by 'blue movie' auteur Kemal Horulu (...previously spotlighted, with one of V/S's previous 'drive-in' double feature pairing, "The Sexualist" and "Wendy's Palace"). Lurid & tawdry tales of tortured drama, obsessive longings...and wildly erotic fantasies fulfilled...

Movie Review: My Name is 'A' By Anonymous

Review By: Rob Sibley

I'm stunned, it's as simple as that. I've been a fan of Shane Ryan for many years with his Amateur Porn Star killer trilogy. All three were shocking art movies, psychological horror if you will.
Shane returns with his latest film that is easily his best work to date. I wasn't sure what to expect when I first watched this. I had no idea about the plot or the fact that it was based on a true story, I went into the film having no clue on what to expect.

People looking for torture porn or some B.S. like that look else-ware. Ryan isn't interested in gore, he's interested in the psychology of the characters, the emotional violence, the psychological word play which leads to violent actions that was truly horrific.Those of you familiar with my reviews know I don't play favorites or mince words. But Shane Ryan is the modern day John Cassavetes of emotional devastation.

Movie Review: Khartoum (Blu-ray, Twilight Time)

Reviewed by Mike Heenan

By the mid 1960’s, the days of the epic roadshow were on its way out the doors of cinemas.  Mutli-plex cinemas were on the horizon, and 3 hour epics with intermissions no longer being show in large single screen cinemas for weeks on end.  Charlton Heston was the star of many epic films, such as Ben Hur, Ten Commandments, The Agony and Ecstasy, and Wayne’s World 2.  It is fitting to have him take the title role in Khartoum, an Ultra Panavision epic shot on location throughout Egypt.

MOVIE REVIEW: Argento's Dracula (2013, DVD)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Argento... Argento... how the mighty have fallen. I'm kidding, I know Drac 3D has become a running joke ever since the "praying mantis" scene from the first teaser trailer leaked, people joke about this film. Is it a cheese fest? Yes, you bet your ass it but it's also a lot fun. Sure this is pure "cinema head cheese" pardon the plug but you're already reading this, so good for you.

Now we'll get to what the film does right and what it does wrong, this will be a shorter review because it's an easy film to spoil, it really is. Before you watch this film, think of the worst Hammer Horror vampire film, then add buckets of "Mother of tears" style gore and plenty of T&A. Yes Asia Argento is naked a lot in this film. Within the first 10 minutes you see torture, nudity, sex, and major carnage.

Movie Review: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920, Blu-ray)

Robert Louis Stevenson's classic tale, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde has had seen several variations over the years with actors like Fredrick March and Spencer Tracy doing their version of the Jekyll and Hyde character. One of the earliest versions from director John S. Robertson (Captain Hurricane, Our Little Girl) has an equally talented actor in the roles of both doctor Dr. Jekyll and his menacing alter-ego with the casting of John Barrymore (Romeo and Juliet, The Invisible Woman). Kino Classics has taken this 94 year-old silent horror classic and put it onto the high-def format with all sorts of tender love and care.

Henry Jekyll (John Barrymore) is a genius among his peers, not only admired by his fellow colleagues but respected by the many people he helps. There really isn't too much to dislike about a guy that goes out of a way to create comfort for those suffering... or is there. Like many people, Jekyll has urges and one of them to get a little crazy and feel nothing from the consequences. He creates an alter-ego who he can live vicariously through after making a potion that transforms him into the sinister Mr. Hyde.

Movie Review: Nightmare City (Blu-ray)

As a youth one of the most enjoyable things I did was simply walk to the local Mom 'n Pop video stores and gaze at the covers of the many of the highly exploitative horror movie covers many companies used to get folks to plop down $2.50 for a three night rental. The big box (or "porn box") releases had the biggest allure for this budding genre fanatic. Umberto Lenzi's City of the Walking Dead ( AKA Nightmare City) and its release from Continental Video had my paws on it plenty of times until I was finally able to rent it -- thanks to an older sibling. Since then this bizarre zombie flick has seen a few DVD releases but now thanks to the folks at Raro Video fans get to see it on the high-def. All I can say is that we have come a long way in 25 years and this movie still manages to entertain. 

A giant cargo plane is floating close to an airport, not answering anything from air traffic control, just getting uncomfortably close a highly populated area ripe for a disaster. These aren't the smartest air traffic controllers so naturally they allow this beast of in airplane to land on one of their runways. Intrepid reporter,  Dean Miller (perpetually stiff Mexican actor, Hugo Stiglitz, Tintorera, Cyclone) is on the scene with his crew and numerous authorities to find out what exactly is in this plane. This proves to be a big mistake as this particular plane is loaded with bloodthirsty,radioactive oatmeal-faced zombies.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #129 - The Third Annual Cheesies

Kevin and Jeff discuss Wizard World Portland and their top five movies of 2013 before doling out the Cheesie awards for the best and worst of last year. They get into documentaries, douchebags, Netflix and two inductions into the CHC Hall of Fame.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

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Movie Review: The Year of the Cannibals (aka I CANNIBALI, 1972)

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Directed by Liliana Cavani

A Christ-like hippie named Tiresia (Pierre Clémenti) is found on the beach by a pack of children. Revived, he briefly joins them in play when armed commandos gun all the children down. How fucked up is that? It would be really harrowing if the kids were realistically blown to smithereens, but all they do is fall down on the sandy bleach bloodlessly as if to play “freeze tag” amongst themselves. Meanwhile, in a dystopian Italian city, hordes of dead bodies lie uncollected on the city streets on order of the fascist-like government. Antigone (Britt Ekland) wishes to bury her dead brother, and does so clandestinely with the help of her new-found friend Tiresia. They begin to collect other bodies as well, take them to the countryside and then artfully arrange them around flowers and food. (It looks like both the Fascistic bad guys and our heroes both have a vested interest in spreading pestilence and disease among the living with uncollected dead bodies!) The anti-establishment couple go on the lam from the militaristic bad guys, at times posing as soldiers and members of the clergy … bored yet? Our heroes are unjustly executed but their legacy of dragging bodies to the countryside to rot unmolested is taken up by others.

Movie Review: Cat People (Blu-ray, 1982)

All throughout Paul Schrader's career his name has been synonymous with some of the finest gritty dramas to be put on film over the past 40 years. Whatever hat he may be wearing, be it writer, director, or in several cases both, his films have a certain edge that makes him one of the finer talents in Hollywood. One thing he hasn't tackled too much are genre films. Aside from Exorcist: Dominion, he's only made one other horror film - the remake of Jacques Tourneur's original film Cat People from 1942, starring the stunning Nastassia Kinski (To the Devil a Daughter) and Malcolm McDowell (Clockwork Orange, Blue Thunder). Scream Factory has gone back to the 80's again to unleash a newly remastered Blu-ray edition and it may just be the cat's meow.

Irena (Kinski) arrives in town to meet up with her older brother, Paul (McDowell), who unbeknownst to her has a mad crush on the short-haired, pouty-lipped beauty. Who wouldn't?? It is family though, so probably not the best idea. Paul has much deeper, incestuous motives unfortunately. His goal is to get Irena to make love to him so she can become a shape-shifting panther like him and both their mom and dad. It’s essentially her next level of being and he's on a mission to get her there. On an equally creepy note, Mom and dad were actually brother and sister too, so naturally Paul wants to continue to keep it in the family. Of course it's not easy for Paul as Irena has a love interest in a veterinarian named Oliver (John Heard, Home Alone), who has a strong fixation on big cats.

Movie Review: The Oral Generation (1970, Vinegar Syndrome)

...this viewer has made no secret of the fact that he absolutely loves the golden age of XXX-rated movies, which was prevalent in and around the '70's and early '80's. There was often a novel story idea, as well as moments of amusement, comedy and bizarre surrealism, interlaced with the voyeuristically lurid and explicitly lingering sex scenes. The actors and actresses in the films, varied in their ability to entice...from bodaciously 'va-va-voom' to alluringly filthy and nasty. And that music...usually ranging from a cool and rhythmic jazz, to...oh, that stereotypically hokey 'waka-waka-ding-dang' riff, which many of the films from that particular era, were known for. Placing that observation on the back burner, for a moment, this viewer later nurtured a curiosity about certain obscure and hard-to-find, sexually explicit films, which were also playing in and around the grindhouse/drive-in circuit, at the time...the trailers of which almost always bore the same enticing line of "...because of possibly impressionable persons in the audience, we can't show you certain scenes of this movie, here in the trailer; however be assured that when this film appears in this theater, it will be presented uncut...a film, specifically geared for today's more progressively promiscuous audience..." (...the late Mike Vraney's 'Something Weird Video's quite entertaining 'Dusk 'til Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-rama' movie trailer collection series, was notorious for splicing in trailers for such films, amidst the genre and exploitation film trailers). Once again, taking it's cue from what 'Something Weird Video' had once done best, Vinegar Syndrome has once again unleashed a selection of films...the headlining "Oral Generation" feature film, and an eclectically assorted & paraded set of short films...which, in this case, herein...delectably, and sometimes mind-scramblingly...assumes the best of both worlds, as mentioned previously...

Norman Reedus Of AMC’s THE WALKING DEAD Thought ‘Daryl’ Did “A Good Job” In THE WALKING DEAD: A HARDCORE PARODY

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