Movie Review: The Chambermaids (1974; Impulse Pictures)

...the period, stationed at the Naval drydocks, on the Norfolk, Virginia Naval base, during the early-to-mid '80's, wasn't exactly the most off-time activity prevalent time, in this viewer's eclectically varied military career. Not much to do off-base, after a daily, rough & rigorous 10-hours-plus work shift, except to clear out the mess hall every night, killing the lights, chug a few cans of piss-warm Milwaulkee's Best, and spin the clunky reels of military-sponsored feature films on the rickety ol' projector. However, on the weekend evenings, there was always someone who somehow managed to covertly commandeer one of the base's VW non-designated buses, and as the result, a jaunty motley crew of us would speedily barrel miles down the road, whooping & hollering, and just being good ol' boys, out looking for a good time...or trouble, depending upon the inebriation level. When the bar-hopping scene got stale, and we found ourselves wearing tread on the dirt roads, in and about the midnight hour...without fail, we'd always find ourselves at one of several tucked-away-in-the-fields drive-in theaters, which exclusively flickered some of the wildest, albeit cheeziest and dated X-rated double-feature film fare, ever to have been seen stamped on celluloid. And it was one of these adventurous, late-night occasions, at which time, this viewer first laid eyes on this aged and obscure, playful and kinky little skin flick. Fast forward to 'this very moment'...at which time, afforded the opportunity to fondly revisit this obscure X-rated ditty, with considerably more objectivity, and considerably less alcohol...the invariable question, in this viewer's mind, arises: ...how does "The Chambermaids" hold up, in the advent of 40 years since the film's initial release, during the '70's golden age of skin flicks??...



...looking for some monetary-enhancing diversion, Mary Ellen (Mary Stuart) and Sally (Valerie Marron)...two rather attractive hotel housekeepers, and part-time actresses...come up with the lucrative and money-making idea of personally servicing some of their guests, well beyond the normally expected bed-turning and pillow-fluffing. A measure of luck, as well as a bit of kink, has Sally drawing first blood...or rather, first splooge, so to speak, with happenstance visiting lingerie sales rep, Marv (Levi Richards), who soon after, invites Sally and her friend for a friendly little get-together, with him and a fellow associate, Smitty (Jeffery Hurst). In the meantime, Mary Ellen...in her own special, lustfully empathetic way...helps out a sexually troubled, newly married couple, by quite literally snuffing out, or rather, lovingly 'blowing' out the husband's (Eric Edwards) temporary bout with impotency...

...at the party, Mary Ellen shows up (...with Sally inexplicably no longer a part of the equation, let alone, no longer in the film, itself), and comedy of errors ensue, as Smitty's wife, Sarah (Andrea True) shows up, is mistaken for someone else, and eventually, she finds herself coerced into a steamy little triste with Mary Ellen. The duo becomes an erotic threesome, as Carol (Lynn Stevens)...the wife of the troubled newlyweds...finds them, sharing themselves with each other, and eagerly joins in...having previously been frustrated at her now-quite-potent husband, who while they were making love, called out Mary Ellen's name, instead of hers. And when Smitty returns to the scene, as well as Carol's husband...all this, in the midst of extreme orgasmic fervor...well, things are about to get hotter than Georgia asphalt, in the summertime...

...despite the exceptionally low production values, in "The Chambermaids"...the seemingly contrived, sitcom-like storyline set-up...the incomprehensible, impromptu character inconsistencies (...what exactly did happen to Sally?? Did porn actress Valerie Marron have another disrobing filming engagement to get to, during this production...prompting a quick, albeit confusing rewrite?? Who knows...??), there's a respectable amount of titillation, to appreciate, herein. Valerie Marron, Mary Stuart and Andrea True (...yes, that Andrea True, of the '70's disco-era group, 'Andrea True Connection'), for a trite production such as this, are genuinely attractive and appealing, in and out of wardrobe. Since there is a measure of comedy, amidst the waywardly steamy erotica, the set-up of the sex scenes are 'convenient', albeit still enticing, with just the right amount of playful kink, without being overly and distractingly savage & invasive...with the only downfall of the film being that the tantalizing proceedings, seem to end, not with a bang, but a whimper...

...to add to the delight and enjoyment of this rare little skin flick...despite the alluring kinky and stereotypical DVD cover art, which in no way depicts the goings on, in the film (...and isn't the terms 'chambermaids' a bit Victorian, even for a '70's setting standard??), Impulse Pictures...while doing a respectable clean up of this rarity, for the sake of overall and appreciative watchability, the restoration power-that-be didn't 'clean things up' too much, with the DVD presentation still retaining the grittiness and scratchiness of a well worn print...giving viewers of the film, that delectably nostalgic, sleazy porno drive-in and/or grindhouse feel. In fact, if Impulse wanted to make this one, or any other films of this ilk, better and more flavorful, in a sleazy drive-in/grindhouse way, they really should consider a good winning poker hand of trailers, and perhaps a 'welcome to the show' and/or 'coming attractions' title card, and some concession ads; unfortunately, with this release, we get the movie, and only the movie. Ah, well, we can't have everything, right??...

...as far as classic '70's erotica goes, "The Chambermaids" is hardly a classic, by any stretch of the word; but then, it's equally, by far, not all that bad, either...a pat, middle-of-the-road, second-tiered feature, to follow the main attraction...and an appreciative rarity, well worth checking out...