Secondhand Smut #4

Do you remember when I announced the closure of the Secondhand Smut column? Well, here I am again. With nothing secondhand but certainly Smut. I’ll explain.

I had plans for the fourth installment to cover my findings from August, September, October and November 2014, but this simply wasn’t meant to be. So, here I am, reviewing some Smut that I recently got my dirty hands on.

Sweet & Sour (1974)

The male lead is a photographer (of mainly pornographic stills) and he just found his muse off the streets who is a musician. Together they will experience sexual acts that are moving this film in a very conventional way; that is, until the violent outburst of the ending which makes the whole journey worthy.

There’s no telling how much of a Lloyd Kaufman fan I am. He’s mostly known for his independent ‘70s and ‘80s flicks, but I’m more in love with his ‘90s and ‘00s masterpieces. Sweet & Sour (1974) is an early pornographic film of his. The copy I have is in terrible condition and I pray that someday Vinegar Syndrome will release a good restoration on disc.

Hardgore (1976)

Maria [Dianne Galke from Teenage Runaway (1975)] is a nymphomaniac with masochistic tendencies as we learn, and so she is locked in a nuthouse. She should suspect that this institution for mental patients has something to hide though because the nurse who’s showing her into her room is teasing her and soon the two of them get to have some hot lesbian action. Later Maria will find a couple of dildos in her room too; professional help, right?

A nurse will have her throat slashed and this is the movie’s turning point. From then on everything seems to be lit in a horror movie way. Just when you thought you’d get scared though you see a dildo attached to a medical machine providing pleasure to the female lead, and just when you thought you’d get horny you see a dick chopped off.

The female lead is kidnapped by some people who force her into ceremonial group sex (there are several black magic symbols here on display, or maybe they are Satanic, or both, or I don’t really know). There is a man in a Devil mask that is conducting most of these orgies. And there are a few flying penises that are shooting insane amount of semen, resulting in a bukkake scene. You can’t call it bukkake per se because the term was first used for post-1980 Japanese films, but I don’t know what else to call that scene.

There are some more bloody scenes here, in the form of murders, or ‘forced accidents’, and the whole thing reminded me a lot of Herschell Gordon Lewis’ best moments even though it works mostly as a Slasher film. It didn’t seem to be very popular back then, but this combination of hardcore pornography with hardcore splatter seem to be attracting many new fans nowadays as this film has finally its cult following and is mentioned way too often online.

Column of the Dead #1: 1930s

Urban legends of Haiti, tell of zonbi, which is what the western civilization calls zombie. It is essentially a corpse that woke from the dead, a living dead if you will. Said corpse is controlled by the priest who raised it from the grave; usually a voodoo priest or priestess, who can keep the zombie eternally as his/her slave.

The zombi word in English language literature goes back to The Unknown Painter which is a short story first published in 1838. Later, the letter “e” was added and the word became zombie. Also the mythology changed quite a lot, very liberally, and really quickly.

Now, this column will cover mostly U.S. films, and so it is appropriate to note that zombies first became of interest to American citizens during the occupation of Haiti (1915 – 1934), so it is no wonder that the living dead started appearing in film during the ‘30s. But first, they became famous thanks to William Seabrook's infamous The Magic Island book, about which I have heard and read so much, yet I’ve been able to track down a reasonably priced copy.

I’ve learned most of the above from Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombie). There are many more studies published the last few years on the subject, and my favourite is Jamie Russell’s Book of the Dead: the Complete History of Zombie Cinema.

Through this new column I will try to catalogue and review every zombie movie made in U.S.A. and Europe, in chronological order. Serials and TV series will be ignored. It’s an insane task, but I’m too.

White Zombie (1932)

So much has been written about the first feature film to feature zombies... It is a low-budget affair shot in 11 days. It proved very influential (White Zombie, the band, anyone?) but not until the ‘60s when it was re-discovered (it was until then considered lost). The matte paintings look indeed very dated, but the whole thing is so good that you’ll probably be too engaged to it to notice.

A young couple [Madge Bellamy and John Harron] visit Haiti and very soon they will be surrounded by death as their journey temporarily stops at some funeral that was taking place in the middle of the road. They then meet Legendre [Bela Lugosi] who is backed up by zombies. The driver is acting fast and takes the couple away from him, but first Legendre manages to steal the young girl’s scarf. All this is happening in the first few seconds.

The couple visits Charles Beaumont [Robert Frazer from Black Dragons (1942)] who wants to steal the girl away from the boy and for this to happen he uses a magic potion that was made by Legendre. Said magic potion turns the poor girl into a walking corpse and Charles is not satisfied.

Camm Harston Needs Your Help!

On February 21, our friend and brother Camm Harston suffered from a heart attack. He has congestive heart failure, and was admitted to the VA hospital in Portland two days before the attack.

His path to recovery will be difficult. This fund is set up to assist him with expenses as he works his way back to health.

Please donate what you can, even if you think it may be insignificant. Everything helps. Share this as often as you can. Your assistance and support are greatly appreciated.

To donate, head to http://gofundme.com/cammsheartfund. Thank you!

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - The One I Love

Kevin Moyers reviews an interesting love story with a three person cast as well as his new piece of audio equipment.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

Support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment by clicking the links on our Sponsors page!

Movie Review: 2 Girls 1 Cup (2007)

As you probably already know, I like porn. Backroom Casting Couch is one of my favourite online series of videos, and I love them because the fantasy is great and the performers are usually gorgeous. But this is an example of ‘regular’ porn that ‘regular’ Joes tend to watch. But, people with fetishes have their own porn too.

Something like a decade ago, I came across a Max Hardcore video or two. I don’t remember which ones, but it doesn’t really matter as they all are very similar, as is often the case with gonzo porn. I watched attractive girls doing filthy things with this dirty old man; and vomit was involved. That’s the kind of fetishist porn I was talking about above. Such is the case of the title that I am about to review here.

Max Hardcore may be American, and he even did time in jail, but this kind of porn is more often booming in countries such as Brazil. And 2 Girls 1 Cup was made in Brazil by Marco Fiorito who specializes in porn involving piss, scat, and vomit. But what is it about this video in particular that made it the most famous disgusting piece of viral madness ever unleashed on the internet? First let’s talk a little bit about what’s on screen...

An opening credits sequence involving z-grade animation is introducing us to the title’s female leads: Karla who is blonde and chubby, and Latifa who is brunette and skinny. The only sexy thing about this pair is Latifa’s tattoos, and even those, not very much so. Said performers enter a kitchen and they start kissing passionately. And they lick each other’s pussies and assholes. They actually seem to be into each other.

Arrow Films US May releases to include Retaliation, Society, and Island of Death all via MVD Entertainment Group

MVD Entertainment Group furthers the distribution of Arrow Video in the US with a strong schedule of May titles...

Retaliation - Limited Edition Dual Format Blu-ray & DVD
Trailer: http://youtu.be/lqfUHj9AjDI?list=PLO3U_ZE37EE50zXFxtFC2kDntQVWPrFOb

In 1969 future sexploitation specialist Yasuharu Hasebe (Stray Cat Rock: Sex Hunter) teamed up with the inimitable Jô Shishido (Tokyo Drifter, Branded to Kill) for a follow up to their yakuza hit Massacre Gun.

A tale of gang warfare that features a raft of the period's most iconic stars, Akira Kobayashi (Battles Without Honor and Humanity, The Flowers and the Angry Waves) is a yakuza lieutenant who emerges from jail to find his gang dispersed and his aging boss in his sickbed. Shishido is the rival waiting to kill him and a young Meiko Kaji (Lady Snowblood) is the girl caught in the crossfire.

Gritty and cynical, Retaliation is a hardboiled precursor to Kinji Fukasaku's revisionist yakuza pictures of the 1970s.

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Better Call Saul Premier

Kevin Moyers reviews he premier episode of the much anticipated Breaking Bad prequel. To view episodes, head to AMC.com.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

Support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment by clicking the links on our Sponsors page!

Movie Review: Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th (2013)

My favorite slasher franchise has always been Friday the 13th. For me, it started with seeing Parts 2 and 3 late at night on channel 32 in Chicago. Jason was terrifying, and the kills were gory. I really liked the character, and I eventually became a fan of the entire series. Crystal Lake Memories is an extensive documentary that focuses on every film in the franchise. They start it off right by having a campfire surrounded by young people. At the center is series alum Corey Feldman telling the tale of Camp Crystal Lake. Feldman narrates the documentary, which starts off just before the creation of the iconic first film.

The beginnings of the story are very interesting. Sean Cunningham flat out admits that he took the idea from Halloween. I thought that was great, but he didn't steal the masked killer idea. Instead, he took the shell of a slasher film and made the killer someone you could sympathize with. Yes, I'm talking about Pamela Voorhees, whose first name we don't even learn until it's written on a headstone in the fourth movie, but let's take a quick sidestep to compare Jason to Michael. Michael was evil from minute one. Cold blooded killers get no sympathy, and they shouldn't. Jason was a scared kid who drowned because of the negligence of some camp counselors. You feel for him, and you definitely feel for Pamela. Try to stop me from going on a murderous rampage if anything happens to my kid. Go ahead, try.

Cinematic Hell: Blood Freak (1972)

Directors: Steve Hawkes & Brad Grinter
Star: Steve Hawkes

It's hard to imagine a film like Blood Freak existing and it's even harder to imagine what possible motivations the filmmakers had to make such a thing. It's not just that it's so far out there that it becomes truly surreal, which it is; it's that it seems to be an anomaly in the careers of everyone involved. I can only assume that it carried the message that its financiers wanted to be carried, but once their money supply had run out and they abandoned the film, it fell to Brad Grinter and Steve Hawkes to finish it on their own. How much they obscured the original message I have no idea, whether deliberately or accidentally, but it's certainly an unholy mishmash of a number of genres, tones and styles and apparently Hawkes, when asked about the film later in life, called it 'a sad chapter in my life.' So what is it? Well, it's a pro-Christian, anti-pot, biker movie about a man who turns into a bloodthirsty freak with the head of a turkey. You know, the usual.

Movie Review: "Che!" (1969; 20th Century Fox/Twilight Time)

...now, admittedly and...well, more than a little embarrassingly (...considering that I often make claim to being a respectably knowledgeable history buff), in going into this film for the very first time, recently, this reviewer quite literally knew nothing about the main protagonist herein...this (...squinting through reading glasses, at the disc's film's capsule synopsis) Che Guevara...though I do recall his artistically poignant impact on pop culture visuals, as well as his subsequent impact on the establishment-bashing youth of the time, without really knowing who he was. If anything, at that very young age, I was...at the very least...dimly aware of, and inundated with the media inklings and breaking news broadcasts of what was happening, as well as what had happened, in Cuba's rather torrent and controversial history, from the early sixties, up through the dawn of the '70's decade; at least I had something to go on...something, in an attempt to match the historical person depicted, with the history associated with him...