Secondhand Smut #5: Devil in Miss Jones

Secondhand Smut’s fifth installment is covering the porn I watched from December 2014 to April 2015. Said smut is devoted to the Devil in Miss Jones franchise. There are tons of information regarding its history out there, and even more tons of words reviewing it and analyzing it (even academically if that’s your thing), but what you’ll read here is my thoughts after going a film-by-film marathon.

The Devil in Miss Jones 3: A New beginning (1986) and The Devil in Miss Jones: The Resurrection (2010) was ignored as I was not able to track down copies of those in time for this article. Der Teufel in Miss Jonas (1976) is an unofficial remake, and The Devil’s Agenda & Miss Jones (1991) is an unofficial sequel, and hence they were ignored.

Devil in Miss Jones (1973)

One of my favorite porn films of all time is Gerard Damiano’s Deep Throat (1972), and one of my favourite autobiographies is Georgina Spelvin’s The Devil made me Do It. So it was only natural that I would fall in love with the Devil in Miss Jones (1973) that the two of them made together and is considered by many the best adult film from the golden age.

It is about the titular lady (Georgina Spelvin) who (in a sequence that brings student short films in mind, but I am saying this as a good thing) commits suicide when she’s slashing her wrists with a razorblade.

Then Miss Jones goes to the afterlife, where she meets Abaca (John Clemens) who tells her that despite her quite excellent track record as a mortal human being, the guys upstairs (i.e. heaven) cannot accept her because suicide is a crucial sin, so she’ll have to go downstairs (i.e. hell).

Miss Jones feels that this is not fair, and decides that since she’s condemned she better enjoy it. So she makes a deal and she is sent back to earth in order to perform all sorts of lustful acts. You see, she was a virgin before she died.

On her way to her slutty second coming (pun intended) she will be trained by a teacher of sorts (Harry Reems) who will of course first have his way with her. Acts that she will perform include, an encounter with a lesbian who’ll oil-massage her, a masturbation session that includes a banana and some grapes that both end up in her vagina, a similar scene with a water hose, another one with a snake, and two threesomes (a MFF one, and a MMF one; the later including DP).

Religious references in film usually bore me [with occasional exceptions such as The Exorcist (1973)] but they didn’t annoy me much in this one. It thrived at the box-office as it was more successful than both Behind the Green Door (Spelvin’s other masterpiece) and Deep Throat (Damiano’s other masterpiece) both from 1972. There are a gazillion reviews of it in print and online by critics and academics, so I’ll just say that you can’t die without having seen this classic, and I’ll move on to the sequels.

The Devil in Miss Jones Part II (1982)

How do you follow a success such as Devil in Miss Jones (1973), almost ten years later? Well, for one thing you bring your female lead back (Georgina Spelvin) to play the titular role (albeit in MILF form), you also bring a veteran director onboard (Henri Pachard), and you turn the whole thing into a comedy. Did it work? Oh hell yes it did.

The Devil in Miss Jones Part II (1982) is set in hell (Pat Finnegan’s set design and Eddie Heath’s costume design are much better than many ‘regular’ films of the period) where Miss Jones now lives (even though she’s technically dead, but this is the afterlife), but she is quite uncomfortable because although sex is allowed [it is pretty much everywhere and she is a nymph now – her first sex scene is with Cyrano’s (Alan Andrian) nose which is actually a penis; don’t ask] but orgasms are forbidden (you get an orgasm warning title card and annoying beeping sound quite often; for comedic purpose I suppose).

So Miss Jones in order to escape this damnation she has sex with the devil himself (Jack Wrangler) who ejaculates (actual flames come out of his dick). He hadn’t had pussy for hundreds of years so before the intercourse he promised Miss Jones that if she’d make him cum he’d make her any favour she’d like. Her request is to go back to earth, and off she goes as Roxanne (Jacqueline Lorians).

Roxanne is a top-class escort, and she has encounters with a Sheik (Ashley Moore) and a pervert (Bobby Astyr) who likes to get dressed up in the devil’s costume and even has a devil dick. Everything up to this point was fine, but then the film takes interest in Jones’ adventures first as a soldier and then as a nun and things become quite boring.

Watch a girl in hell speaking Greek! Watch the devil’s tails get sucked! Watch several historical figures rot in hell! Watch Robert Kerman play the devil’s advocate! And watch Ron Jeremy lick his own dick! Seriously, do not miss this made-in-New-York masterpiece.

The Devil in Miss Jones 4: The Final Outrage (1986)

How do you follow up a great drama [Devil in Miss Jones (1973)] and a great comedy [The Devil in Miss Jones Part II (1982)]? Well, of course you bring Gregory Dark onboard [who’s such a good director that he even makes ‘regular’ films such as See No Evil (2006)] and you make The Devil in Miss Jones 3: a New Beginning (1986) which as mentioned above I have not seen, but judging from the excerpts that are available in the pre-credits sequence of The Devil in Miss Jones 4: The Final Outrage (1986) I must be missing a lot.

In The Devil in Miss Jones 4: the Final Outrage (1986) we learn a lot about the titular character’s background. People are interviewed on-camera and they tell us how she was molested by her father when she was young, and how she is in reality a lesbian, and how she developed a taste for black men (although I’m not sure how the last two elements don’t contravene each other).

This instalment is again set mostly in hell which doesn’t look as good as in the previous films, mainly because most of the performers look like they came out of a hair metal band’s music video. The good thing is that the doomed to eternity are now able to cum.

Miss Jones (played by Lois Ayers who has the best breasts I’ve seen in any ‘80s porn) takes a short tour in hell and she’s witnessing an orgy (that includes Ron Jeremy in diapers; don’t ask) and a visit to the racist room! You see over there people who are racists are experiencing interracial sex. So we see a Nazi (he has a swastika on his arm) doing a black girl and an Asian one. And we also see two Zulus (I kid you not) having their way with a southern blonde (Patti Petite).

The Devil in Miss Jones 5: The Inferno (1995)

The titles in the beginning set things up as they are full of vixens that look like they were left over from a Warrant music video, and the soundtrack sounds like an outtake from a bad Ratt album. Things get only worse when you realize that hell now looks like a TV show’s set.

Cinematographer Johnny English does the best he can considering this is a mid-‘90s shot-on-video affair, and the editing by D3 is putting together miracles, but The Devil in Miss Jones 5: The Inferno (1995) is just a series of orgy scenes, and how good such a thing can be? Not much if you take into account the horrible jokes.

Miss Jones is played by Juli Ashton this time around, and Gregory Dark directed. It is a really boring instalment but I was cleaning my nose whilst watching it, so I can say that I spent some of my time creatively.

The Devil in Miss Jones 6 (1999)

Miss Jones is now played by Stacy Valentine, so if you like gigantic boobs her scenes will work for you. The devil is played by a woman, Tina Tyler in particular, who is hotter than hell (pun intended). This instalment is written, directed, and composed by Anthony Lovett, and its running time is exceeding the two hour mark, making it a bit difficult to sit through, but I did!

Other things you need to know are that the performers use condoms (for a change), the camera work is quite standard (and it seems that not much passion went into it), the music at some point is sampling the “Destroy” line from Motley Crue’s Find Myself song (off their Generation Swine album that came out not too long before this production), and there is also the occasional voice-over that is parodying popular commercials (these bits are very hypnotic in the erotic sense of the word).

See leather-clad succubus ladies that were summoned by the female lead! See a lesbian scene! See a light BDSM sequence! See a guy in pantyhose! See a wrestling scene! See the devil reading L.A. Bizarro. By the way, I need to buy this book at some point.

The Devil in Miss Jones (2005)

“I’m seeing yuppies fuckin’ each other – they look like shit, they’re drunk”

(Delusional Gravity by the nosferatu dot)

You know, how the title of Devil in Miss Jones (1973) was a joke reference of The Devil and Miss Jones (1941)? So, what’s the deal with Vivid’s The Devil in Miss Jones (2005)? It has very little to do with the original, yet it is a reboot.

It is about Miss Jones (this time played by Savanna Samson who makes Cameron Diaz look like a B-movie actress) and her gradual progress from being an asexual geeky office worker to an orgasm addict. So, in a sense the character arc brings to mind more of Marquis De Sade’s Justine (and other works) rather than the ‘70s film. Although there is very little (and light) BDSM to be seen here, and it mostly happens towards the end.

No matter what The Devil in Miss Jones (2005) is about and what are the references that can be found within it (intentionally or unintentionally), it must be said that the legacy is treated with great respect by seasoned veteran director Paul Thomas who with a reported budget of $250,000 managed to put together a masterpiece for the present generation of porn consumers.

Georgina Spelvin shows up in a few scenes playing a bathroom cleaner who gives an advice to Miss Jones. There are a few seconds of stock footage from Devil in Miss Jones (1973), the snake scene in particular, in order to lead the audience to a new and exaggerated version of it (although very brief). Miss Jones’ boss and main corruptor is played by Jenna Jameson and the two of them have a lesbian scene. The male performers wear condoms while some of the female performers have such skill in positioning during fucking that would put many acrobats to shame. Rob Rotten and Rachel Rotten have a few sex scenes too, and I have to say that they must be the hottest thing that happened to ‘00s porn.