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| Dar (Marc Singer) and a tiger, in a frame from The Beastmaster (1982) |
I
sincerely don’t like the ‘sword and sandal’ genre, but since I was in the mood
of catching up with it a little bit, I thought I’d give a shot at some
classics; thereby I present you my views on The
Beastmaster trilogy (1982 – 1996).
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| The Beastmaster (1982) poster |
The Beastmaster (1982)
A king’s
son, Dar (TV actor Marc Singer), is hunted by baddie priest Maax [Rip Torn,
later in Men in Black (1997)] and has
to flee away from his father’s kingdom and live with another family. When his
father is murdered by savages, the male lead will discover that he communicates
with animals so well that he can use them to ploy his revenge; therefore the title.
Shot in
deserted valleys just outside California (doubling for epic locations from
another time) by renowned cinematographer John Alcott [A Clockwork Orange (1971)], this looks way better than it has any
right to (the budget was a mere $9 million). Its PG rating and humor reveal
that it is indeed entertainment for the whole family (I mean, how could it not
be with all those adorable cute animals leading the thing?), but the occasional
boob glimpse (Tanya Roberts is here) makes this one for the whore family as
well.
Written
by Don Coscarelli (who also directed) and Paul Pepperman (based upon Andre
Norton’s novel, albeit sans credit), this was a big box-office success (it
grossed $14.1 million) and became a TV favorite as well, therefore a franchise
was born.
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| Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal... |
Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time
(1991)
The
protagonist’s evil half-brother Arklon (Wings Hauser, no introduction needed)
and his ally (and equally evil) witch Lyranna [Sarah Douglas from Superman (1978)] travel into the future
(via a time portal) and arrive in present day Los Angeles in particular where
they plot to purchase a neutron bomb. Dar (a now aged Marc Singer, looking
ridiculous in hero attire) and his animal friends must stop them.
The Back to the Future trilogy (1985 – 1990)
was a big thing back then, and this is the approach employed here by the story
(it was written by Jim Wynorski and R.J. Robertson and it was turned into the
screenplay by that same duo and Sylvio Tabet, Ken Hauser, and Doug Miles) and
the promotional materials (I mean, check out the font and colors of the film’s
title). This approach is nothing unusual in the world of exploitation cinema,
and the faults of this particular entry is its running time, which although it
is a bit shorter than the first film, it is still much too long for its own
good.
This is
probably because by that stage, the straight-to-video guys took over, and other
than the aforementioned people involved with the script (a few of them need to
introduction), you should note that this was shot by Rohn Schmidt [The Terror Within (1989)], edited by
Adam Bernardi [Ghoulies Go to College
(1990)], directed by Sylvio Tabet (the franchise’s producer; Jim Wynorski was
originally slated to directed, but plans changed at the last moment, leading to
a court battle), and stars Robert Z’Dar
[Maniac Cop (1988)], proving that
things could indeed get cheaper. In an amazing meta moment, a theater marquee
is advertising the current film! Made on a $6 million budget, it grossed less
than $1 million, becoming essentially a flop.
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| Beastmaster III: The Eye of... |
Beastmaster III: The Eye of Braxus
(1996)
Baddie
Lord Agon [David Warner from John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness (1994)] kidnaps King Tal [Casper Van Dien
from Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow
(1999)], and now it is up to the poor guy’s brother and titular hero Dar (Marc
Singer, looking surprisingly in good form) and his friend Seth (Tony Todd,
looking much too elegant to be here) to save the day. Will they make it against
the titular monster (Michael Deak, a monster never looked that much like a
guy-in-a-suit since the glorious 1950s)?
By 1996
the straight-to-television had taken over, as this was directed by Gabrielle
Beaumont (a craftsman that has worked exclusively for the small screen), and it
comes complete with sill sound effects and laughable sets; hell, even the
soundtrack by Jan Hammer is outrageously bad. And, I didn’t get the bromance
finale at all, were the two male leads supposed to be gay? Thankfully, it is
much shorter than the previous two entries.
Conclusion
Consisting
of a good film and two monster dogs, Beastmaster
is a classic franchise of its kind, so if you are a fan of the genre you should
definitely check it out, although you probably already have. In 1999 the Beastmaster was turned into a TV series
that lasted for 3 seasons, but this is a story that I will not be telling.
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