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September 24, 2010

Music Review: She and Him: Volume 1 & 2 (2008, 2010)

by Hollis Jay

As I listened to Volume One and Volume Two of She & Him, I am left with only one nagging question: Why does Zooey Deschanel continue to act? Yes, I am left perplexed by her astoundingly big eyes and her clean almost slate like face which seems to be pondering-just like we are-why am I here…but, she doesn’t need to try to act anymore when she can just sing. For it is in her singing and songwriting in which she shines. The she (Zooey) and the him (M. Ward) create a wonderful construction of music. For a minute, if I closed my eyes I thought that I was listening to a young Dolly Parton or The Carpenters all over again except without that picky eating disorder.

Buy She & Him: Volume 1


As Zooey tunes in with folk sounding songs like “In the Sun” and “Thieves”, she also plays a bit with the original girl groups of the late 1950’s with “Don’t Look Back.” I can tell you that I was still listening to this cd in my head, even after the music stopped. Charming is the word that I kept writing down, as I listened to every song play in my car. The two cds should definitely be listened to together, as they seemingly tell the story of a young woman’s search for life and love.

September 21, 2010

Movie Review: Crazy Eights (2006)

by Hollis Jay

At three in the morning, I found myself alone and left unattended. I had nothing to do the next day, so I went channel surfing which can be a very dangerous thing to do….at three in the morning….when no one else is around….especially when you find Crazy Eights on your television. I honestly don’t know why I started watching it. It has the two actresses and/or actors that I usually avoid upon contingency of death: Dina Meyer (except for Starship Troopers) and Traci Lords due to my effective and energetic imaginative process which can only see her with her mouth hanging half open in a seemingly misplaced orgasmic moment. I don’t know why I didn’t listen to my instincts. Maybe I wasn’t thinking or the fact that this movie was part of the eight films to die for series messed with my senses and had me ignore my own free will due to the production of some great horror movies, like The Hamilton’s and Penny Dreadful. But, I did ignore my baser instincts and merged head first into bad horror.

Buy Crazy Eights on DVD

September 16, 2010

Movie Review: Underbelly (2010)

by Jeff Dolniak

Directed by: Matt A. Cade

Buy Underbelly on DVD

On a dark desolate highway, during a sweltering Texas summer, a young girl is being pursued by a mysterious predator. We see inside the vehicle of the pursuer. In the vehicle, is yet another young female applying some sort of "war-paint" on her face. Let's just say, it doesn't end well for this "damsel in distress". This is the opening sequence in Matt Cade's thriller Underbelly. It's a fairly effective and quite creepy introduction; setting up our lead character Henry Rose (Mark Reeb) for the predicament he becomes infused in, having his wife vanish on the side of road . Henry's search brings him to a confrontation with another man, Toby Haynes (Fritz Beer) and his family whose personalities mirror that of the group of psychos in Wes Craven's Last House on the Left. These people are little more restrained than Krug and Weasel, but still have a powerful thirst for murder and rape. Like Henry, Toby, his half-retarded brother, Eugene Haynes (Joe Abercrombie) and cousin, Terry (John Mense) have lost a kin member, Sweet Lily Haynes (Bianca Lopez). Where are these people disappearing to? Is it some kind of supernatural entity?

Altered Views: Session 9 / The Eye of Danvers: A history of Danvers State Hospital

by Hollis Jay

I happen to love all movies in which an inanimate object becomes the central character of a story. Having written and/or been in the process of re-writing such a story, I know that this is not an easy feat. But, one of my favorite movies, Session Nine pulls this effect off seamlessly and without strain. The asylum becomes the central character, and one listens for its’ dialogue in every scene and one watches it’s movements as they circle and entwine its’ victims.

Buy Session 9 on DVD

To begin with, Session Nine was filmed on location at Danvers State Hospital. Not only did this hospital perform the first pre-frontal lobotomy, but it is also rumored to be haunted. In fact, if you own Session Nine there are not only a few scenes where one has to question the shadows that appear on the walls but there is also a section on the DVD where the cast talks about their strange experiences at the hospital while filming. This is one of the things that makes the location all too creepy and actually scary as your watching the film.

September 15, 2010

Movie Review: Cryptic (2009)

by Hal Astell

Directors: Danny Kuchuck and John Weiner

Stars: Jodee Thelen, Johnny Pacar, Toby Huss, Jadin Gould, Brooke Vallone, Nicole Cannon and Julie Carlson

Buy Cryptic on DVD

On 4th July, 2000, nine year old Jessie Graver had a rather memorable birthday. Her family was moving into a new house, a cool one in the mountains with a pool, and her mother gave her a mobile phone, her first one. 'Who do I call?' she asks. The intention is that she should call her mother, naturally, whenever she's in need, but she never gets the opportunity because her mum is promptly electrocuted in the pool in a tragic accident. Nine years later, as she turns eighteen, Jessie rediscovers the phone and on a whim rings her old number. Amazingly there's still enough battery to make the call and a little girl answers, one with whom she seems to have rather a lot in common. It isn't just the same phone number, it's the same address too, along with the same poster on the same crack in the same wall and the same target in the same tree outside. What's more they both seem to have put up that poster and that target. Yep, they're the same person.

Movie Review: Office of the Dead (2009)

by Hal Astell

Director: Matthew Chung

Stars: Teddy Chen Culver, Shawn Parikh and Christina July Kim

Buy Office of the Dead on DVD

How was I ever going to resist a zombie movie in which the three lead characters are a couple of software engineers and a project manager? I'm an IT professional and a horror movie maven, so something that merges two of the key things that make my brain tick is a very cool rarity indeed. It's only one of the rarities writer/director Matthew Chung chose to set up here, because almost nobody in this American movie is of the typical WASP heritage. The software engineers are Ben and Raj, a Chinese American and an Indian on an H1 visa. Their project manager is a 'hot Asian mama' called Liz, who used to be Ben's girlfriend before she got promoted above him but who he secretly wishes still was. I don't blame him. By the way, that isn't my description, because I would naturally never be so insensitive about gorgeous young ladies, it's the description used by a couple of consultants brought in by gay jerk boss Nate when they can't meet their deadlines.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #1 featuring Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero


Episode #1 - The Room's Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero


In our first thrilling episode, we attend the Love is Blind tour at MADCAP Theaters in Tempe, AZ where Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero do a pre-Room Q&A and sit down with Kevin Moyers for separate interviews. Also, David Hayes berates Jeff Dolniak for being inept, which is really just another day at the Cheese.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

Buy The Room on DVD

September 14, 2010

Movie Review: The Descent: Part 2 (2009)

by Hollis Jay

To me, there has to be a good reason to have a sequel. Maybe there was a character that was particularly unexplored or good and we-as an audience-want to know more. Or maybe, a great story or a great script comes about to not only enhance the power of the first story but to make it an epic experience. But, I can guarantee that neither one of these things happened when The Descent Two movie was discussed and then made. Who knows what was talked about during those five minutes when script, story, and character were talked about-but I can be sure that smart horror was neither involved nor thought of in those fragile minutes.

Buy The Descent: Part 2 on DVD

Movie Review: Vampires Suck (2010)

by Heather Henshaw

I went in to this film thinking it was going to be good. I mean, a takeoff film of Twilight? What more could you ask for? Well, I failed to realize it's about TWILIGHT! How could I be so stupid to put myself through the anguish of watching this film?

Buy Vampires Suck on DVD


The plot is the same as Twilight; girl meets boys, girl torn between the two boys and so on. The names are changed. Bella is known as Becca, and the Cullens are changed to the Sullens. Not only do you get one Twilight movie spoof, but they take on all three of the Twilight films. I will say there are a few parts in this film that made me laugh, and when I say few I mean a few. There was a chihuahua pack instead of a werewolf pack, and to make it worse, they were gay guys singing "It's Raining Men." I did enjoy the part where Becca beats up her dad and maces him and the scene where the guy in the wheel chair gets the crap beat out of him, but I must say the best part of the whole film was (get ready for a big spoiler now) the credits. I was so happy once it ended. I had to watch this film in three parts just to get through it. Vampires Suck is from the guys who brought us Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, and Disaster Movie. Somehow they keep getting funds for these dreadful spoofs. PLEASE STOP ALREADY! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!

September 11, 2010

Cinematic Hell: Mesa of Lost Women (1953)

by Hal Astell

Directors: Herbert Tevos & Ron Ormond

Stars: Jackie Coogan, Allan Nixon and Richard Travis

Buy Mesa of Lost Women on DVD

Mesa of Lost Women is two films in one but that's two too many. It started out under the working title of Tarantula, which would have been original at the time as Jack Arnold's movie of the same name didn't arrive until 1955, but this one didn't arrive at all, partly because the funds started to run out but mostly because writer/director Herbert Tevos was a little too good at driving the cast and crew into quitting. A couple of years later, his replacement was one of the more fascinating names in exploitation cinema, Ron Ormond, who wasn't just a writer, producer and director of low budget movies, but also a vaudeville performer, magician and Air Force colonel. At this point he was known mostly for his Lash LaRue westerns, but this mess proved to be his ticket into an ever more eclectic world that soon included gorilla sleaze, frigid wife sexploitation and Nashville musicals. Eventually he would turn to Jesus and become the foremost name in Christploitation.

Book Review: Devil Girls by Ed Wood



Devil Girls is another of Wood’s novels that has been reprinted again and again and is quite easily accessible. It is also noteworthy as the first appearance of Sheriff Buck Rhodes, small town peacekeeper and globe-trotting do-gooder (he is also seen in Parisian Passions).


The story involves the running of illegal and illicit drugs (chiefly heroin and LSD, which in Wood-speak turns from Lysergic Acid Diethylamide to Lost Souls Delivered). The drugs are being sent into the small town by Lark, the sadistic pusher, and carried by the drug-addicted girl gang of the title…the Chicks. Amid strife in the Chick’s organization (the leader Lila has escaped prison, through murder, and has come back to claim her territory from Dee) and the bumblings of a do-gooder preacher, Reverend Steele, Sheriff Rhodes, ex-junkie and hamburger joint owner Jockey and his hulking assistant, Chief, Wood manages to get off a well-plotted, if not exactly a well-told, story.


September 10, 2010

Eats and Drinks Reviews: Mighty Arrow, Münchner Gold and Sweaty Betty

by Lane Smith


#1 – Mighty Arrow by New Belgium Brewery

I’m a fan of almost everything New Belgium Brewery does (Fat Tire, 1554, etc.), and Mighty Arrow was no exception. For $9.99 a 12-pack this was a great beer and a value buy.

Appearance- Hazy peachy with tones of copper and a nice head.

Aroma - Excellent cascade hop aroma.

Taste- Bitter and hoppy up front with a nice mild caramel/citrus finish.

Texture- Medium body, nice and crisp.

Overall - I loved this beer. This moves towards to top of my list of New Belgium’s creations and for the price I got it, hard to beat in any situation. 6.00% ABV. Score 9/10.

Interviews: Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero

The monthly showing of The Room at Madcap Theaters in Tempe is usually an event, but this time more than usual. The big attraction this time around was the appearance of writer/director and star Tommy Wiseau and his co-star Greg Sestero. The two came in to huge fanfare and did everything from tossing the football around to dueling with light sabres. As the crowd enjoyed the movie, I was able to find a quiet room and interview both stars about their travels, the movie and upcoming projects. Check out the videos and enjoy.

BUY THE ROOM ON DVD

September 7, 2010

The Room

by Jessica Condit

Tommy Wiseau, writer, director, producer and star actor in The Room, didn't know he had created a cult classic film when the movie premiered in 2003, but seven years later his cinematic status has been solidly affirmed. Today, only one question remains for thousands of fans and movie critics across the country:


Does he know his movie sucks?


Known nationwide as "the Citizen Kane of bad movies," The Room is the longest-running independent film in history and still sells out midnight showings from Los Angeles to New York-but not because it is good in any classical sense. The script is banal and often completely nonsensical, the editing is dubious and the acting ranges from the high school theater production to sophomore year of Community College levels. Because of this, it is one of the most successful independent movies of all time, and Wiseau doesn't need any more affirmation of his cinematic genius than that.

Six Degrees of Cheese: Six Lost Albums

by Lane Smith

About a year ago, I was at a party when a friend decided to put on some music. I saw him reach for what I expected to be an iPod, but instead he had an old Joe Walsh album. When the needle first touched vinyl I heard the familiar, yet forgotten, crackling sound. The sound transported me back to the first time I heard "Blonde on Blonde" through the massive headphones attached with a spiraling black cord to my parents' old turntable in their living room. I was hooked. The next day, I added a turntable to my Christmas list and started going through the dusty stacks of albums in my parents' house.


I am a fan of classic rock and consider myself to have an above average knowledge of music, so there were many albums I was already familiar with. Floyd, Dylan, and The Beatles were all present. As I searched through the albums, however, I couldn't believe the amount of music that I had never heard of. I have picked out the 6 albums that I was previously unfamiliar with of but enjoyed the most for the following list.

Movie Review: Piranha 3D (2010)

by Corby Kennard

When I heard there was going to be a new Piranha film way back at Comic Con, I was thrilled. I love these sorts of cheesy nature attacks films. I'd recently seen Piranha 2, with the young-old Lance Henriksen and directed by someone named James Cameron, and as much as I enjoyed the silliness of the movie, I was a bit leery of the director porting over the flying-piranha hybrids to the 3rd installment of the Joe Dante-started franchise.

Buy Piranha 3D on DVD or Blu-ray

If you feel the same way, lay those fears to rest. This one is much more believable, as it involves piranha who somehow managed to stay alive for somewhere around 3 million years in a cave under Lake Havasu Arizona. An earthquake opens a crack in the cave, releasing the killer fish into the teeming and naked throngs of party-goers during Spring Break. The kids party, the cops try to save them, and the fish kill and kill and kill. Seriously, this is one of the biggest and bloodiest body counts you're gonna see in this sort of film.

Movie Review: Vindication (2010)

by Corby Kennard

Guilt Shows No Mercy


It's always tough to review a truly independent shot-on-DV film. You can't really judge it for the film quality or the sound, and they have to make do with the best actors they can get. (Sometimes they find gems, but mostly it's of the "I'm yelling to show emotion!" overacting neighborhood playhouse variety.) But everyone has to start somewhere, so I'll just start out this essay by saying the film quality in Vindication was not too bad and the acting was a little over the top and very angry. The sound had some problems, and I had to rewind a few scenes to figure out what they were saying. So, those technical issues out of the way, lets talk about the rest of the film.


Buy Vindication on DVD

Vindication starts out with a swinging lightbulb in a dark, possibly underground, room. A face comes into view, and it's a pale, eyeless creature who makes some cryptic comments about life and guilt. This person is listed in the credits as Kon'Shens, and he is apparently playing himself. (Frankly, I don't really know what that means. Moving on.)


Movie Review: The Last Exorcism

by Hollis Jay

When I go to see a movie, I try not to enter the theater with preconceived notions of what I am about to view. With The Last Exorcism, it was easy for me to leave those thoughts and ideas at the door. The movie begins with the life and times of revered Reverend Cotton Marcus. To the outside world, he is a man of solid and unquestionable faith. He, supposedly, saves the lives of not only his own parish but of those around him every day. Not only that, but he has performed hundreds of exorcisms and is asked on a regular basis to save souls. But, when Cotton goes to save a soul, one must ask what he is truly saving. For Cotton is a man of a different agenda, to use religion as a placebo for what ails those in need. His practices reminded me of a technologically advanced Father Damien Karras, without his mother, searching for his own faith and purpose. I would have liked to have a Father Lankester Merrin to offset the balance, but instead I was left with the members of the documentary film crew.

Buy The Last Exorcism on DVD or Blu-ray

Movie Review: Long Pigs (2007)

by Hal Astell

Directors: Chris Power and Nathan Hynes

Star: Anthony Alviano

Buy Long Pigs on DVD

Tony Prince is a DJ on KNGY and he wants to talk about meat. He wonders why it's OK to eat cow and pig but not cat and dog, but given that the film is called Long Pigs it's pretty obvious which particular meat we'll end up talking about. This is an indie Canadian take on the groundbreaking 1992 gem Man Bites Dog, which was shot by a trio of Belgian film students in black and white and in French. While it carries this influence on its sleeve, Long Pigs stands on its own, upping the stakes by more than shooting in English and colour: instead of being a documentary about a serial killer, it's a documentary about a serial killer who's also a cannibal. Much of the approach is the same, demonstrating how easy it is for filmmakers to lose their impartiality, but it plays the journalistic integrity card a little differently. Not only is there plenty of comment about the two men making this film but more about that DJ, Tony Prince, and his motivations too.

September 2, 2010

Movie Review: Terror Overload (2010)

by Jeff Dolniak

Once in a while one of my favorite things to do is roll down to the Black Bear Diner with a few of my best pals and indulge in the chicken fried steak and biscuit plate. The thing is gigantic, and the biscuits are quite sizeable themselves. Add a little extra gravy (to soak the biscuits, of course) and you have what is truly a heart attack on a plate. It's a very un-healthy combination but hey, what the fuck; I live once and who cares if it eventually kills me. That brings me to the most recent concoction of sleaze and cheese from, Not For The Squeamish Productions, Terror Overload: Tales from Satan's Truckstop. Directors Jason Stephenson, Kevin Myhre and Brant Johnson serve up four plates of "chicken fried steak" for your enjoyment; "Devil Driver" (starring literary scribe, Joe Knetter, and scream queen ,Scarlet Salem), "Dinner Date" "Lot Lizard," and my personal favorite, "Mongo Chupa."

Buy Terror Overload on DVD