Movie Review: Black Widow (1987, Blu-ray)

“Mr. Shin, I'll tell you two things about me: I'm very rich. And I'm very wealthy.”

It has been years since I’ve watched this movie. And, if memory serves, it’s a fantastic thriller filled with tons of acting talent. Let’s see if it still holds true nearly 30 years later.

Released in October, 2015 by Twilight Time, Black Widow stars Catherine (Theresa Russell), a gorgeous sociopath who marries rich men then murders them for the inheritance. As she flits from man to man across the country, changing her name, appearance, accent, and general demeanor to fit each new conquest, Alexandra (Debra Winger), a federal investigator, has been studying the ‘natural’ deaths of all these different men and has discovered a connection - they married the same woman.

But how can Alex stop her when the local police don’t believe her theory, her own boss thinks she needs to go on more dates instead of working so hard, and the relatives of the dead men don’t want to pursue it because they think it’s all poppycock?

She tracks down Catherine herself, insinuates herself into Catherine’s life to get close, and hopefully can end the murderess’ life of crime before another innocent man ends up dead. The only problem - Catherine is highly intelligent and organized so Alex has to stay on her toes to not end up on the wrong end of Catherine’s rage.

I invented Resting Bitch Face. Don't waste my time.

Yes, this movie is just as awesome as it was back in the 80s. Don’t pay attention to the shitty fashion or the old fashioned misogyny from which most of the male characters suffer (a WOMAN can’t be a serial killer - that’s unheard of!). The base story, the actual tale of murder, cat and mouse, good vs. evil, could take place anytime or anywhere. 

Theresa Russell is so good in this role. She plays the loving wife beautifully all while she’s injecting poison into a bottle of champagne or mixing drugs into toothpaste. I love the character of Catherine for her smarts. When she finds a target, she researches the SHIT out of everything that can give her a connection in real life. She becomes each man’s idea of the perfect woman. She’s like a sociopathic chameleon. It’s brilliant. And when you see Alex is catching up to her or Catherine feels cornered in any way, the anger and hatred boiling just below the skin erupts for a moment and we see her for who she truly is.

Debra Winger….what can I say? I LOVE HER. I’ve loved her in everything I’ve ever seen (from Urban Cowboy to Terms of Endearment to Leap of Faith). Her character is strong and smart, two abilities that piss off the male-centric world of the FBI, and the police, and basically all other aspects of life. But her willingness to put herself in danger to stop a killer speaks volumes of her capabilities as a government agent and a human being.

You mad, bro?

Did I say I just love her? Because I do.

And let’s not forget to mention all the other acting talent in this flick: Terry O’Quinn, Dennis Hopper, Diane Ladd, Nicol Williamson, James Hong…just to name a few. Go to IMDB to look up the rest of the cast. Really, it’s amazing!

I think every character is believable, even if a few are convenient. But everyone fits in the entire puzzle of the story. You remove one and the cohesion crumbles.

The direction, editing, sound, and music flowed perfectly well. The writing is great - the story is an awesome thrill ride. The fact that the two main characters are women and the men around them are at their mercy (either in smarts or, literally, their lives) spoke volumes at a time when women were just beginning to be seen as capable of living well without the aid of a husband or father. I don’t want to get all soap boxy here but you can see my point, yes?

Great story, great acting and characters, great film. Stands the test of time and I imagine I’ll still enjoy it in another 30 years.

4 hatchets (out of 5)

Movie Review: Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice - Warner Brothers - (2016)

Zach Snyder directs his second film for the DC movie universe, bringing his particular style of directing with him.  Whether you like that type of thing is entirely up to you.

Batman V Superman gave us the fight we were anticipating and also introduced the audience to some new characters.  The pacing of this movie was pretty slow going early on with an artsy dream sequence explaining Batman's(Ben Affleck) origin.  Much of Batman's view of the world and Superman(Henry Cavill) being in it is fueled heavily on his delusional dreams(of which he has plenty).  I had a hard time figuring out if Bruce's butler/assistant in the Bat-Cave, Alfred(Jeremy Irons) is the voice of reason or someone feeding into Bruce Wayne's fears.  Bruce Wayne is Batman for you non-superhero loving folks.

The world is starting to fear Superman and he's being framed for violence across the world.  The framing of the Man of Steel seemed a bit of a stretch but you got to do something to get this movie going.  With all this fear, Lex Luthor(Jesse Eisenberg) is on the hunt for Kryptonite after discovering how it affects the other Krytponian, the now deceased Zod.

Silent Screams: Wolf Blood (1925)

Over here at the Cinema Head Cheese offices we are concerned with the decay of the horror film industry. Every day in this country, a child is born that will never know the true terror of Nosferatu or feel the creepy crawlies from Dr. Caligari... the very beginnings of our industry. The farther we get away from our roots, our history, the better off the world will be (at least our world). So, as a public service, our resident horror film historian and researcher, David C. Hayes, will be posting the films that influenced the men and women that influenced the men and women that influenced us as culled from across the internet. These films can be obscure but they are important for, without them, there would be no now... no us... no horror industry.

Let us begin with what many people believe is the first werewolf film (or, more appropriately, lycanthrope film). 1925's Wolf Blood tells the morbid tale of a logging camp foreman that, after an 'injury' is transfused with the blood of a wolf. This, of course, makes him believe that he is turning into a wolf. The film is directed by and starring George Chesboro (who went on to co-star in the 1950s Lone Ranger series as Doc). The script was written based off of a story by Bennett Cohen (who began his screenwriting career in 1915 and finished in 1953) and Cliff Hill.

Movie Review: Tenderness of the Wolves (1973)

Based on the true story…ugh, I hate that phrase. HOWEVER, after doing a little research on Fritz Haarmann, I have to say this movie depicts many truths of his life. Though he originally committed his crimes before and after WWI, this flick moved the timeline up to just after WWII because of Nazis or something. 

I don’t know.

Tenderness of the Wolves is a German film from 1973, written by and starring Kurt Raab in the title role. Fritz Haarmann is a well known criminal in the police community. Things like sex offenses, theft, fraud, assault, seduction of minors, homosexuality (which was a crime in Germany until 1994) all kept him on der kommisar’s radar for years. But since the country was in such a rough state after the war, the polizei need all the help they can get and hire Fritz to be a narc.

This actually works out for Fritz very well because by informing on OTHER people, he keeps the police attentions off his own crimes of theft, fraud, and murder. Fritz likes to lure young boys and men back to his apartment, ply them with food and drink, then BITE OUT THEIR FUCKING THROATS IN THE THROES OF PASSION AND ECSTASY. Afterward he chopped them up and either tossed their remains in a local river or sold the flesh as pork or horse meat to his friends.

Wha…..???

Movie Review: Werewolves in Heat (2015)

Okay. I promised David Hayes that I would be brutally honest in my review of this movie and I intend to keep it. (please don’t be mad please don’t be mad please don’t be mad)

Werewolves in Heat is about three young men about town looking to party and get laid. Renting a house out in the desert they plan a big shin dig but if they don't want it to end up a sausage fest, they need to find some ladies. ASAP. They journey to a local bar where they hire some hookers for the evening. How convenient…except, unbeknownst to our gentlemen callers, these ladies are also werewolves and our intrepid heroes are on their dinner menu.

That's really all you need to know about the film. There is nothing deep, or even all that interesting, about the story. The characters are tissue paper, the acting is terrible, and the whole thing felt like a group of people made a movie just because they could. Basically the entire film is jerk-off fodder for 13 year old boys - which is maybe why I didn't like it.

There were just a couple of bits that made the 70 minute watch time worth it. The man-servant that comes with the rental house, Captain Bill, was amusing. He had little zingers here and there, he kept himself in the front closet until needed, and he wore a captain's hat the whole time. He made me laugh once or twice.

Movie Review: Marquis de Sade's Justine (1969, Blu-ray)

I actually have this book somewhere but I haven’t read it yet. I’m well aware of who the Marquis was but not sure how the subject matter will be treated as a film. Strictly exploitation? Titillation? Porn? Only one way to find out… Though from what I understand, Justine is one of the MdS’s early works and isn’t as graphic and sexual as what comes later (see what I did there?). 

The Marquis de Sade’s Justine is a 1969 film (SIXTY NINE, DUDE!) directed by Jess Franco (writer and director of everything from B horror to porn) and starring Klaus Kinski as de Sade and Romina Power as Justine. We begin our tale with the Marquis being hauled off to prison. As he spends his days in the Bastille, two weeks before the French Revolution, he is tormented by imagery of two young women and their plights in life. 

And by tormented I mean as someone who needs to create literature that speaks to humankind or makes a statement on the world around him. In this case, de Sade want to tell us how virtue always seems to be punished while evil is constantly rewarded. He by no means committed the atrocities against Justine - he just created them. As he scribbles furiously in a blank book, the movie develops, showing us the story of Justine as the Marquis writes it. 

Justine and her sister, Juliet, are two beautiful young women being raised in a nunnery - for their education, of course. Lord knows Juliet is a whore and Justine is pure innocence. When their father is forced to flee the country, the girls are kicked out of the convent and forced to find their own way in the world. While Juliet is totally cool with moving to a brothel and earning her keep, Justine is just too morally innocent to stay and must leave.

And it is from this moment on that Justine suffers every cruel trick, scheme, and lascivious attention people can throw her way. She’s basically sold into slavery, framed for theft, tricked into a gang of criminals, framed for murder, tricked (again) by a group of hedonists, escapes, finds love, loses it, finds it again, kidnapped by the leader of that gang of criminals from before, whisked away by an angry mob, then finally saved by her sister - who’s lived a life of thievery and murder to become the mistress of one of the King’s advisers and now lives very comfortably with money, jewels, and everything she could ever want.

What do you mean...I don't get to have sex with ANYBODY in this film??

But don’t you dare change, Justine. Juliet’s life has been completely empty and meaningless. And though you’ve lived through Hell because she wouldn’t stick by you, at least your everlasting soul will go to Heaven. You know, when you’re dead.

WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK?

This was probably the most depressing and silly movie I’ve watched in a long time. With the name de Sade attached, I was expecting AT LEAST some sexy kinky shit that I could possibly rub one out to, even if it was more Skinamax bull shit. But son of a bitch if this wasn't just a lot of almosts and nearly happens and close calls and absolutely no sex. We don’t even really get to see the WHORES having sex. I mean, COME ON!

Oh sure, sure. There was a little titillation with some bare breasts and a flash or two of naked bush and some girl on girl kissing and wrestling. But hardly enough to even be called interesting. It’s not like I watch these kinds of films on a regular basis and have become jaded. This whole movie just felt very shallow and meaningless. And did I mention no sex? IN A MARQUIS DE SADE MOVIE.

Ooooh! Right in the eye. So sorry, my dear.

The style was a lot of artsy shots and filters, dramatic music and heavy sections of no dialogue, crappy acting, terrible voice overs. Every character was predictable and Justine was so frustratingly innocent - you’d think by the third time she got screwed over she’d pick up on some clues of the evil surrounding her. Or perhaps innocence = low bell curve?

Klaus Kinski was probably the best asset but all he did was furrow his brow and scribble in a book for the whole 10 minutes he was even in the damn film. Even Jack Palance felt like she should have been in a silent feature with all the scene chewing he did.

For those aficionados out there that enjoy Jess Franco’s work, and perhaps because this can be seen as an exploitation film of sorts (more like Exploit-lite), this movie might be worth a watch. Even those who are fans of the Marquis might be interested in this adaptation. But two hours of trite crap just puts me to sleep. Dear gods don’t let the book be this boring.

.5 Hatchet (out of 5)

Movie Review: Blue Mountain State - The Rise of Thadland (2016)

The movie based on the television show, Blue Mountain State, finds the Goat House in trouble as the Dean of BMS threatens to shut it down.  Quarterback Alex Moran (Darin Brooks) does not want his party frat house to go away so he turns to a source he doesn't want to; former team captain and number one draft pick Thad Castle(Alan Ritchson).

Thad was the linebacker for BMS and not always the easiest to get along with.  He does, however, have a big signing bonus and Alex knows that Thad can buy the Goat House and he can continue to party.  Thad's one demand is to throw a party.  A part of which nobody has ever seen and to call it Thadland.  The amount of drugs at this party could have paid for the house multiple times over, but then where would the story of this movie go?

I was a fan of the Blue Mountain State television program as it was nothing to take seriously and each episode made me laugh out loud at least once(except for the final episode, that was awful).  This movie was better than the final episode of the TV show but pales in comparison to the series.  There's a bit more swearing and definitely more nudity.  For those of you that have been wanting to see Sammy's(Chris Romano) penis, you're wish is granted.  Plenty of times.

The rest of the cast is there as well.  It is pretty cool that they came back to do the film.  James Cade as Harmon, Rob Ramsay as Donnie, Frankie Shaw as Mary Jo, Ed Marinaro as Coach Daniels and a couple more surprises.

Overall the movie is a silly comedy and my expectations were low.  With that said, I enjoyed it enough to sit through it and chuckle at much of the absurdity.  For those of you who miss the show, check it out.  If you are not familiar with the television show, there may be some jokes that you may not get but I still feel like you can watch and get the premise.

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Movie Review: Erotic Adventures of Candy/Candy Goes to Hollywood (Blu-ray)

It seems that all types of adult entertainment (be it soft or hardcore erotica) have put on display some memorable mammaries…or in very simple terms, boobies. The natural jug is something special though. Don’t get me wrong there have been some fine pairs of fake boobs in adult cinema but, to me, nothing beats a good soft, squishy, hypnotizing natural rack that hangs off a gal’s torso. Christy Canyon, Seka, and Ushi Digard are some true favorites that no doubt “bare” that top-notch bosom. I had never seen the lovely Carol Conners until I took gander at Vinegar Syndrome’s latest XXX double-bill, Gail Palmer’s Erotic Adventures of Candy and Candy Goes to Hollywood until recently and I must say that this Golden Age babe is right up there with those other lovely top-heavy honeys.

Movie Review: The Unauthorized Full House Story (2015)

With the long anticipated Full House sequel coming to Netflix today, I thought it would be a perfect time to review the unauthorized made for TV movie based on the behind the scenes story of the show. I'll be honest, I watched every episode of the original series when I was a kid. I remember watching it during ABC's TGIF lineup, which included a variety of shows at different points throughout the years. While I have heard stories about the origin of the show through various podcast and television appearances made by the big three stars of the show (Bob Saget, Dave Coulier and John Stamos), I know I had to sit through this bizarro version of reality when the screener showed up.

We start with up-and-coming comics Coulier and Saget at a stand-up show. They talk about their careers and some upcoming opportunities. This is when you notice that the Coulier guy has a head three times the size of his counterpart, and the Saget guy is pushing hard to do a pretty good impression. We see Stamos working at his family's restaurant after a soap opera stint, and he feels like his career is going nowhere. Through a strange series of events, the trio ends up being the head of what seems like a disaster of a series.

John Carpenter's Vampires (1998) Movie Review

I saw this years ago. And if memory serves, it’s just terrible. I don’t know if it was the directing or the writing or some amalgamation of all aspects of putting a film together but the resources (aka actors) were completely wasted. 

Let’s see if it still sucks, no pun intended.

Based on the novel by John Steakly, John Carpenter’s Vampires is the story about Jack Crow, a very angry man whose parents were killed by vampires when he was but a wee lad. The Catholic church took him in and raised him to be a vampire slayer, which is a win win for both parties - Jack gets to channel his angsty teenage years into productive use and the church gets someone to help rid the world of evil.

After Jack’s crew is slaughtered by a Master vampire, Cardinal Alba sends Jack on a new mission: to find the Black Cross, an ancient religious relic that was, technically, responsible for the creation of vampires (oops, our bad). Valek, this latest Master, was the subject of a reverse exorcism back in the 1300s that went horribly wrong. Though the ritual was never completed, Valek became the first vampire. If he gets his hands on this Black Cross, he’ll be able to complete the ritual that will allow him and all vampires to walk in the light. 

And that would just be awful because only sunlight and a steak through the heart can kill them.

Complicating things, or perhaps helping them out, is a freshly bitten hooker, Katrina. Her short lived telepathic link to the Master will help Jack and his Number Two, Anthony, track Valek down and hopefully stop him before he can get his hands on the cross. Unfortunately, Valek KNEW Jack would track his movements this way because he actually needs Jack for a very specific purpose.

Here we see a drove of Douche Bags in their natural habitat.

You’ll just have to watch and find out what that purpose is, if Jack succeeds in stopping Valek, and the oh so shocking turn of events that puts all their lives in jeopardy.

Yeah, this is just as bad as I remember.

I haven’t read the original novel so I can’t compare it to the film. I like the idea of the band of slayers going around ridding the world of vampires. It’s a bit trite that they’re lead by Jack, whose parents were killed by vampires so he has the whole revenge motive going on. And the group originally starts off like they're special forces or something but it becomes glaringly obvious early on that they aren’t as organized or tough or smart as we’re made to believe. 

I mean, they know a Master wouldn’t leave a nest all alone (of which these guys just decimated) but hey, let’s celebrate anyway with a night of drinking and debauchery that would make Nero blush. What could go wrong?

There are a few times where we get the old ‘info dump’. Instead of showing us what’s going on, one or more characters just talk it out: the telepathic link, Jack’s upbringing, the Black Cross, Valek’s beginnings, etc. Very lazy.

I don't always act in crappy films. But when I do, John Carpenter directs them.

A few eye rolling moments: the slayers stay at the Sun God Motel. Really? Jack walks around in sunglasses most of the time, even indoors, and that is supposed to make him look like a hard ass or something. Even when the Master bites the hooker, he goes for her inner thigh so it looks like he’s sucking on a few other things. I know vampirism is basically a metaphor for sexuality but that’s a little bit TOO on the nose, you know what I mean?

Actually, I kinda liked that part.

I did like the idea that the slayers keep a priest in the group at all times. And, anyone who knows me will see this as no surprise, I loved Valek. He was a great vampire. The scene were he and seven other master vamps rise up out of the ground one night is the best part in the movie. 

That’s kind of pathetic, now that I’m thinking about it.

Otherwise, this is just a terrible film. Don’t get me wrong. I loved most of the actors in this. James Woods is brilliant in everything else I’ve seen him in. But for some reason, Carpenter just couldn’t direct the actors in any way that made their characters believable or even likable (except Valek - but that has a lot to do with me being in love with vampires).

I can only assume John Carpenter’s name precedes the title because the author didn’t want anyone to think his novel was this shitty.

1 Hatchet out of 5

Movie Review: Pound of Flesh (2015)

Oh no!  Someone has stolen Jean-Claude Van Damme's kidney and now he is out to get it back!  Okay, so I know it's already a silly premise but that only gets this goofy ride started.  This movie felt like it was trying entirely too hard to have any semblance of heart to it.  I usually don't have anything that spoils the movie in reviews but I may let some things slip in this one.

Deacon(Van Damme) wakes up in a tub of ice and realizes his kidney was stolen.  He calls some friends who may be able to help him track down his missing organ.  Deacon's brother George(John Ralston) shows up to the hotel room as well but Deacon's friends coerce him into leaving.  Deacon's closest friend Kung(Aki Aleong) tries to convince Deacon to let it go.  The people that stole the kidney left money and medication and it may be better to let this go.  Deacon declined, not saying why he wanted it back so bad.  Kung allows his bodyguard to accompany Deacon(he gets killed entirely too fast).

How did Deacon end up in that hotel room?  Well he agreed to go have a drink with woman he saved from a mean boyfriend.  Are these people sure they want that kidney?

Fast forward now to why Deacon wants his kidney back.  It's to save his brother's daughter(Adele Baughan).  Really?  You're supposed to donate a kidney to a family member and you're out doing shots hoping to get some cooz?  And why not say that at the beginning?  Kung was way more helpful once he found that out.  What a dumb reveal.  Nobody is watching this film to be blown away by twists in the story telling.  They don't stop there with trying to shock the audience.

This was a dumb movie.  If you want crazy action and some Van Damme fight scenes while he wears his sunglasses at night, go for it.  He's a bit more creative with the obligatory splits he does in all of his movies so that was cool.

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Movie Review: The Summer House (2014)

A seemingly well to do family has more than their fair share of issues.  The business partner and friend, Christopher(Stephan Burgi) of the main character Markus(Sten Jacobs) has fallen on tough money problems.  Markus agrees to help with part of the debt as it could have a negative impact on his life.  Christopher's son Johannes who is creepily played by Jaspar Fuld, hears the money problem talk and it gets the gears in his head moving.  It's evident that Christopher wants Johannes' help with the matter as he wants his son to befriend Markus' daughter Elisabeth(Nina Splettstober).

Markus attempts to give an appearance of a regular family guy but his regular secret trysts with a local male prostitute would paint him in a different light. His tastes in men turn into taste for boys.  You can see that even the swinger sex he gets with his wife(Anna Altmann), Christopher and Christopher's wife(Natascha Zimmermann) are not enough to quell Markus' twisted perversions.

While Markus was in charge of watching Elisabeth and Johannes, he took a fancy to the 12 year old lad.  He invites him to hang out with the family for a summer house grill in the yard.  The only thing he didn't tell Johannes is it's only going to be the two of them.  This turns into many meetings and we find there is more to Johannes than just a young naive boy hanging out with a pedophile.

This movie was difficult to stomach as there is really nobody in this film really likable.  It's hard to find any redeeming qualities as this film is all about Markus and his lust for a little boy.  This film was not enjoyable at all and I feel sickened having watched it.  At no point does the film maker make an attempt to make what Markus is doing as being wrong.  There is no social commentary as to Markus having a problem with being a pedophile, only that he has a hard time being faithful.  On a side note, there was a coat hanger abortion in this film which is probably something that should have happened to this script before filming started.

Movie Review: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner - Columbia Pictures(1967)

Stanley Kramer directs this film about an interracial couple who are breaking the news of their marriage to their parents.  This film was released in 1967 and the way of the world within the United States was different than it is now.  This is a film that has seen it's share of remakes but nothing comes close to this classic.

Sydney Poitier plays the part of Dr. John Wade Prentice who wishes to marry Joanne Drayton(Katherine Houghton).  Their on screen chemistry is absolutely wonderful.  They played off of each other in a way that made you believe that, while in love, they knew to be a certain way around others.  Poitier's character was nervous about the racial situation while the younger Drayton was surprised that anyone would take issue.

Much of the dialogue took some getting used to.  The racial terms used in 1967 are not the same as we use today.  It was not as if anything was meant by the terms, other than to be descriptive of the particular race.

Katherine Hepburn plays the mother of the would-be bride and really keeps this movie going as she is the voice of reason in the world.  She sees how happy her daughter is with Dr. Prentice and realizes that is what is most important.  Spencer Tracy's character grew the most within this film.  Playing the part of Joanne Drayton's father, he wasn't too keen on the idea of the young couple but at the end when he delivers his speech to the entire family, you see how fantastic he is as an actor.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner is a classic film worth viewing.  Being filmed during a time when sixteen states did not allow interracial characters, this film was a huge risk.  It was a pleasure to see and it's wonderful how far we've come as a society.

Columbia Pictures re-released Guess Who's Coming to Dinner in 2015 on blu-ray under the Twilight Time label.  Extras include introductions by Karen Kramer, Steven Spielberg, Tom Brokaw and Quincy Jones; multiple mini-docs that talk about what went into the making of Guess Who's Coming to Dinner and the sacrifices made to make this film happen.  

I also blog for Maskerpiece Theatre which is sponsored by MoviePass. See unlimited movies at a theater near you for a low monthly rate.

Weekend to Remember (Wicked Pictures - 2016)

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Love is a Dangerous Game (New Sensations Romance - 2011)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - February 9, 2016

Starring :

Richie Calhoun
Xander Corvus
Rocco Reed
Jack Lawrence
Natasha Nice
Kimberly Kane
Alyssa Branch
Kelly Klass
                                                                                                                     

Synopsis
When children's writer, Paulina Connelly, decides to embark on a new career writing horror, she has no idea how it will completely change her life. Needing guidance, she seeks advice from acclaimed horror novelist, Wes Mueller. In their first phone conversation she feels an undeniable connection and agrees to meet with him. But, as their relationship progresses, information about his suspicious past comes to light causing her to fear for her own safety. Is Wes the man of her dreams?...or will Paulina be his next victim? Things aren't always what they seem in this quirky, suspenseful romance!

(Runtime - 1 hr. 34 mins.)

———————

In the film, LOVE IS A DANGEROUS GAME, despite finding great success with her series of "Molly the Magical Meerkat" books, children's book Author, "Paulina Connelly"(Natasha Nice), looks to make a career change, when she is inspired to pen a Horror novel, by the works of best selling Horror Novelist, "Wes Mueller"(Richie Calhoun).  She finds his work, both edgy and exciting, which is just the type of stuff that she hopes to soon write herself.  It takes some convincing on Paulina's part, but soon, she convinces her agent, Donald"(Jack Lawrence), to give her a shot.  However, for Paulina, there is only one problem - she doesn't know where to begin.  Looking for inspiration, who better to call, than the very man whom inspired her in the first place?  Although he has an unlisted number, the savvy Paulina is able to locate and purchase Mueller's number online, and soon calls him up.  Wes Mueller, who seems to live a secluded lifestyle, is at first, put off by the call.  But when he learns of her identity, he is rather thrilled, as he explains that his niece, just so happens to be a fan of "Molly the Meerkat".  From there, sparks conversation, followed with Mueller being glad to help her.  The two soon hit it off, much to the chagrin of Paulina's sister, "Sara"(Kimberly Kane) and her boyfriend, "Craig"(Rocco Reed), who both believe that Mueller is a shady character,  Because, after all, any Author who writes stories with titles such as "Torture Devices of the Soul" "Stungun City" and "Bullet in the Heart of Hate", must be crazy, right?  Paulina initially blows it off, but it is when Sara and Craig locate an article in as issue of "Novelist Monthly". that things about Mueller, begin to look rather suspicious.  The article, published one year ago, chronicles Mueller's 3 month stay in an institution, due to a mental illness.  Could Sara and Craig actually be right?  Could his  story be far more fact than fiction?  It's possible.  And because of that Paulina shuts him out, although he continues to call.  Fast forward in time a little, and it has been some time since she last spoke to Mueller.  However, in a surprise, he unexpectedly shows up at her door, just as she is getting ready to go to dinner.  So, is he there to slaughter her in cold blood?  Not quite.  In fact, he has a plausible explanation for everything, cluing us in on just has dedicated he is to his work.  But that doesn't mean that the two can't have a little fun with Sara and Craig.  When they show up to dinner together, Mueller is quick to assume the act of unhinged crazy person, much to the delight of Paulina, and the real life Horror of Sara and Craig.  In the end, Paulina discovers that sometimes assumptions aren't always true, and that sometimes love finds you when you least expect it.

Movie Review: Killing Spree (1987; SRS Cinema)

...way too easy...yes, folks, it's way too easy!! Way too easy, these days, to meander through the specializing websites, find that rare and obscure underground cult film from days gone past, click on 'pay', and wait a relatively short time for that cult film goodness to make it's way to the mailbox. Hardly the patience-testing chore that it once was...say, back in the window of opportunity of about mid '80's to mid '90's, when the Internet was in it's infancy, and considered pretty much exclusive 'geeksville' territory. Oh, yes...those splashy one-page ads, in one's favorite horror magazine (...oh, thank you, Fango, for taking a chance on those)...with the advertising, creatively barnstorming the small-time, minor-league video distributor and it's enticing wares...said advertising, taking up a good chunk of the overall cost of whatever film it was toting; oh heck, sometimes there wasn't even an advertisement, to that full-blown extent...just a mere squeak of a few words, tucked away in the back-paged classifieds. But oh, for the purveyor of shoestring budgeted, independent cinema, those 'few words' stood out and shone like gold...well, make that 'gold' that's been dipped in maggot-populated putridity, and reeked of still-festering 40-year old snot from a 20-year old corpse...

Lost and Found (New Sensations Romance - 2011)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - February 4, 2016

Starring :

Allie Haze
Lexi Belle
Kimberly Kane
Zoe Voss
Xander Corvus
Chad Alva
Tony De Sergio

Synopsis
In Lost and Found, David (Xander Corvus), a swinging bachelor who's tired of his old ways, can't believe his luck when Jen (Allie Haze) moves in next door. After being uncharacteristically at a loss for words, David is helped by his roommate, Steve (Chad Alva), who devises a scheme that is certain to bring Jen and David together. Is there no limit to what a man will do for a shot at love? Find out in this adorable romance about a man, a woman and the little pup that brought them together by nearly tearing them apart.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 58 mins.)
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In the film, LOST AND FOUND, "David" is a young bachelor, who has has spent most of his young Adult life searching for love.  However most of his discoveries have resulted in only one night stands.  When his latest night out ends just as they always do, with the woman(Zoe Voss), just up and leaving the next morning, David is quick to voice his frustration to his couch potato roommates, Steve"(Chad Alva) and his girlfriend, "Vicky"(Kimberly Kane).  It is then that Steve and Vicky note David's attraction to the new neighbor, the attractive "Jen"(Allie Haze), who has just moved in.  David acknowledges his liking to the new girl next door, but can't fathom a way to break the proverbial ice.  David just so happens to run into Jen as she is out walking her dog, "Boz".  It is a rather casual exchange between the two, as "Boz" seems to take to David.  Ironically it is "Boz", that would soon set things in motion.  That's because, soon when Jen leaves the house to go shopping with her friends "Meg"(Lexi Belle) and "Roger"(Tony De Sergio), "Boz" gets out, and somehow ends up in David's backyard.  When he finds him, he reports it to Steve and Vicky, and it is Steve that has a radical idea.  It's an idea that he believes will get David closer to the girl of his dreams.  Steve thinks that they should hide the dog, while David pretends to know nothing of his whereabouts.  Steve thinks it's a surefire plan, but David, the nice guy doesn't go for it....initially.  However things change when David goes to return "Boz", only to find Jen isn't home.  And of course when David returns home, things sort of gravitate to Steve's original plan.  The roommates hide "Boz", and soon, David and Jen develop a relationship as they do things such as go on walks and post up missing posters around town.  David knows that he has done wrong to arrive at this point, but loves the attention and affection that Jen gives to him.  Which makes it even more complicated, when the two start to fall for one another.  It is at that point, that David is faced with a dilemma.  He knows that he must return "Boz" eventually, but will doing so cause a rift in the good thing that he has found with Jen?  As it turns out, he would eventually have no choice but to finally tell Jen, when Steve and Vicky mistakenly let their cover slip.  Jen, is of course, is devastated by the revelation, and vows to never speak to, or see David even again.  But, as with every great story, fate soon steps in, when it is "Boz", the dog that started the whole ordeal, that brings them back together again.

Movie Review: The Young Like It Hot (1982) and Sweet Young Foxes (1983)

Directed by Bob Chinn (uncredited)

Movie review by Greg Goodsell

The camera's in focus, the colors are luscious and the girls are all pretty – kind of sort of. It's as good as it gets for the twilight of Golden Age Porno. Both The Young Like It Hot and Sweet Young Foxes were released just before video killed the porno star. This Video Syndrome pairing will send lots of old perverts waxing nostalgic – among other things! – as well as younger folk, late to the party of filmed flesh.

The Young Like It Hot concerns a small telephone company and the randy lads and lasses who keep it running. When the operators' jobs are threatened with automation, supervisor Hyapatia Lee – long brunette locks and legs up to here, tells the gals to give their customers a more “personalized” service. This entails  handing out lots of specious bedroom techniques to couples on the other line. There is also lots of lame comedy. A construction worker (Joey Sivera) asks blonde bimbo switchboard jockey questions about electrical wiring. “I don't know anything about electricity, but my boyfriend always told me that I light up a room!” Har-de-har-har. The bimbo's advice – “Choose the yellow wire! Such a positive color!” leads to near fatal accidents and unbridled hilarity.

Women play with their pussies, get eaten out, suck dick, fuck – everything ends happily!

The extra for this film on the Vinegar Syndrome DVD is an interview with porno stalwart Bill Margold – and what a raconteur he is! I've met the gentleman in person and he can spin a yarn, I tell ya … well, anyway, he talks about his part in the film as an obscene phone caller. The scene indeed is a rarity: a solo male masturbation in a heterosexual porno. The story is simple and unadorned, Margold did as he was told – some of his filthy talk was appropriated by the character of the like-minded Paul, played by the late Paul Seymour Hoffman in Todd Solondz' Happiness (1999)! – and he was later informed years later by a college student that his scene was a positive influence on his overall social development. Whatever.

Sweet Young Foxes has even less plot: Three rather mature college

Again, women play with their pussies, get eaten out, suck dick, fuck – everything ends happily! Familiar fleshy appendages belong to such fuck film favorites as Cara Lott, Ron Jeremy and Kay Parker are all trotted out with cheerful abandon!

The extra for Sweet Young Foxes is an interview with porno director extraordinaire Bob Chinn, who comes off as a nice, normal, workaday guy pressed into the skin trade. He relates how his wife had to wait until their children went to bed before she could bang out scripts on the kitchen table for the next day's shoot. Chinn's interview ends abruptly, when he admits that he just got sick of the porn business. 

Vinegar Syndrome has done their usual exemplary job of creating a sparkling transfer for these long-in-the-tooth one-handers. The colors are beautiful and the photography is way above the norm for projects of this type. There's no real reason to pass up on these sweet young foxes, so if this is your thing – dig in!

coeds in a luxurious home have the summer in front of them following their freshman year (Lee) and decide to get laid as much as possible.

(This just in on the Vinegar Syndrome web site -- this edition was limited to only 2,000 copies -- and is already sold out!)

Wetwork (Vivid - 2014)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - February 3, 2016

Starring :

Steven St. Croix
Richie Calhoun
Derrick Pierce
Danny Wylde
Penny Pax
Kimberly Kane
Claire Robbins
Eva Karera

Synopsis
From AVN Award-Winning director Eli Cross comes a story of spies, international intrigue, assassins, and prostitutes of every sort... sexual and political. As ruthless spy Anthony faces a midlife crisis, he must decide whether to keep playing the kiss and tell, murder and mayhem game, or retire. But retire to what? And what about Katherine, the seemingly normal artist, who just happens to kill her patrons after sex... who Anthony quickly becomes entangled with in a deadly game of cat and mouse. If you like your porn hot, nasty and layered, Wetwork is your film. With three anals, a beautiful San Francisco location, and the budget of a mainstream film, this is Eli Cross at his best... and it doesn't get any better than that.

(Runtime - 2 hr. 33 mins.)
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In the film,WETWORK "Anthony" is a legendary spy, who is at a crossroads in his life.  He wants to give up his secret, and calculated profession after years of carrying out hits around the world.  After executing one last hit in Paris, he says that's it.  However, after returning home to California, he finds that he just can't give up what he's best at, and decides to take on the next mission.  The mission?  To trail and the execute a woman named "Katherine Mox".  On the surface, to everyone else, Katherine is an upcoming artist who's appearing on the cover of various art magazines. But to the people at Anthony's agency, Katherine Mox, is a cold-blooded assassin.  An assassin, who's good with a gun, but even better with a knife.  While initially Anthony tries to keep a low profile, by posing as a journalist from Vanity Fair, who looks to do an article on Mox's success in the art world, it doesn't take the savvy Katherine long to figure him out.  As the two of them meet head on, they come to discover that not only was Anthony hired by a man named "Singer"(Bryn Pryor) to kill Katherine, likewise he had hired she to get rid of Anthony, whom "Singer" now sees as an unstable liability.  With Anthony and Katherine now both wanted individuals, their enemies become common.  But none are worse than the man who hired both of them - the elusive "Singer".  As a love affair grows between Anthony and Katherine, Anthony reports back that he has killed his target, all the while, he and Katherine work together to close in on "Singer".  They soon do, but in the film's last act(Which ends beautiful in an abandoned warehouse), there is a twist to this tale of assassins and spies, which throws deception into the mix, resulting in an intense conclusion.

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