Movie Review: The Texas Vibrator Massacre (2004)

A few years ago I read somewhere that this XXX remake of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) was outright banned in the UK by the BBFC, supposedly because among other things it contains incest scenes – not for real, it’s staged among the unrelated in real life performers. Now it’s not news for a prudish (criminal dare I say) organization such as the BBFC to censor a film, so that in itself is not an outstanding achievement, but it is a reason enough for me to want to watch it. After all if Thatcher-worshipping idiots watch a film and then decide that you should not, then you want to own them on disc even more than you normally would.

A bunch of friends are lost in the middle of nowhere, and they pick up a hitch-hiker who’d help them with directions if he wasn’t planning to stab two of them. The remaining three escape and they end up in a house, where they get fucked, tortured, and eventually killed, all by the tenants.

During the first scene I couldn’t help but notice the fly that was interrupting the filming. Other than that the film is great. It’s not like you’ll see anything that you haven’t seen before (when it comes to sex and violence), but even the titles appear to scream ‘genuine movie’! I mean, if you can make porn like that, why would you want to move to ‘normal’ cinema? This is my first encounter (pardon the pun) with a Rob Rotten movie, so I’m not an expert, but believe me; I liked it so much that I’ll be coming back for more.

The performers are heavily tattooed, hence very hot, but I could not masturbate because I was focusing to the film as a whole. Leatherface is genuinely creepy too; even though he’s acting more like Michael Myers. Some moments (especially the torture ones) are even scarier than some of the original franchise’s sequels. Oh, and there actually is a vibrator here, which is attached to a chainsaw machine, which is used to penetrate a female performer.