Movie Review: Funeral Home Horror (2013)

I’m a little nervous about reviewing the movie of someone I know. Technically, I don’t think we’ve ever met but he is a member of the same writer’s group I’m in so there’s still that connection, even if it’s ethereal. I’m especially nervous because I did not enjoy the movie this chap made and though I told him that, I didn’t clarify that if/when I review it, I’d most likely shred it. It’s not the camp that bothers me, virtual friend. Camp is what makes low-budget independent films fun. It was ...everything else.

Funeral Home Horror is a short 40-minute (thank the gods) film hosted by some Crypt Keeper wanna be in a wheelchair with a cheap Halloween store mask. He tells us the tale of the Krummer funeral home. It begins 3 years earlier where the owner/operator is such a cheap fucking bastard that instead of burying the loved ones of people who pay him to do just that, he sells the parts of the deceased for cash. Or he’ll say he’ll take care of the burial but ends up dumping the corpses in the lake because it’s too expensive to do otherwise. Unfortunately one of the bodies he plans to dump is a Wight, or ghoul, and it attacks him before he can dispose of it.

Movie Review: Futureworld (1976, Blu-ray)

Long before Jurassic Park, Michael Crichton built what would possibly be the foundation for the blockbuster dinosaur theme-park adventure with his robots gone awry science fiction flick, Westworld. The success of Westworld was lucrative enough to warrant a sequel directed by veteran Television movie director Richard T. Heffron (The Morning After). The sequel, Futureworld, has just been given a Blu-ray release by Shout Factory and for a 70’s sci-fi film it still stands the test of time when it comes to entertainment.

Following on the heels of a colleague’s murder, two reporters, Chuck Browning and Tracy Ballard (Peter Fonda and Blythe Danner) bring it upon themselves to do their own style of investigative reporting by poking through the massive Delos theme-park where the events of Westworld took place. 

Apparently things have changed for the better according to the operators of Futureworld, including Dr. Schneider (John Ryan, It's Alive, The Cotton Club) the main puppetmaster of the many cyborgs wandering the park. Chuck and Tracy don't seem to be getting anywhere until they meet up with one of the very few non-cyborg, employees. This helps them to gain more access to Delos but it puts a big target on their heads

Movie Review: Would You Rather (2012)

You know, I’ve adored Brittany Snow since I saw her debut in The Pacifier (and John Tucker Must Die, Hairspray, Pitch Perfect...you know, regular CHC fare). Not every film choice she’s made has been a good one (Prom Night remake, anyone?) but when this movie came out, I figured I would give it a shot, even though the idea has already been done…

Would You Rather stars the always terrifically awesome Jeffrey Combs as Shepard Lambrick, a bored billionaire who likes to play with peoples lives. He finds those souls out there who are so desperate for money that they will do ANYTHING for a chance at some big bucks (degenerate gamblers, whores, family medical emergencies, etc.). 

Iris is just such a soul. Her brother has leukemia and with both parents dead, it’s up to Iris to pay the bills. Her brother’s doctor understands the hardship and introduces her to Mr. Lambrick. All she has to do it show up to a dinner party, play a game, and if she wins, she goes home with a shit ton of cash. And he and his corporation will find a donor for her brother, pay all the medical expenses, and set them up for life. How can she refuse?

And so Iris, and 7 other folks, sign up to the challenge. Lambrick gives them a chance to back out but of course, no one does. And then it’s too late. The game they have to play is Would You Rather. Each player is given a choice between two options and they have to pick one or they are eliminated (hint, they’re killed). Both options are equally nasty but there’s a lotta scratch involved here! All must play the game until only one person is left standing (literally or figuratively, depending on the choices made).

Who do you think survives the game?

Movie Review: The Act of Killing - Director's Cut (Blu-ray, Drafthouse Films)

Documentaries have always been a huge part of my movie watching life. The format can unfortunately suffer depending on the filmmaker putting together the documentary, and most importantly, its subject (or subjects).  Drafthouse Films has shown a knack for grabbing some very eclectic titles for both theatrical and the DVD and Blu-ray market with titles like the ridiculous but awesome Miami Connection, the acclaimed drama Bullhead and the upcoming remastering of the cult classic MS. 45. The titles have been solid overall but really can't touch the power of the documentary The Act of Killing from director Josh Oppeneheimer and its producer, the great Werner Herzog (Grizzly Man). Now available in a director's cut (along with the theatrical cut) The Act of Killing is a documentary that takes things to a new level that some may not be prepared for.

Oppenheimer follows the life of former executioners in what is easily one of the most corrupt, dangerous, third-world country in the world, Indonesia. His main focus is on Anwar Congo, a man who boasts of killing possibly a 1000 people for being communist. Around the mid -1960's Indonesia switched from a peaceful democratic country to the violent shit-hole it is today. During this time, Congo and others were paid to kill the "communists", many of them being Chinese because, well, they may have disagreed with how things were being handled. It's absolutely fascinating (albeit disturbing) the way these men executed many of these more than likely innocent folk were brutal and for many unimaginable. People were beaten to death with bricks and thrown in rivers, strangled, run over by cars, stabbed and decapitated. Congo and his fellow executioners preferred to do it fast, although they did their fare share of torture.

Prepare To Get Drilled! "The Slumber Party Massacre" comes to Blu-ray this March!

THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE
FEATURING NEW HIGH DEFINITION TRANSFER OF THIS CULT CLASSIC

AVAILABLE FOR THE FIRST TIME ON BLU-RAY™ MARCH 18, 2014
Pre-Order This Scream Factory™ Home Entertainment Collection Today!

This March 2014, loyal fans and horror enthusiasts are invited to join SCREAM FACTORY™ for the ultimate sleepover when Amy Holden Jones’ THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE, starring Michele Michaels (Death Wish 4: The Crackdown), Robin Stille (Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama), Michael Villela (Wild Orchid) and Andree Honore (Strange Reality), debuts on Blu-ray™ for the first time on March 18, 2014. This highly collectible Blu-ray edition features new high definition transfer and killer bonus content. A must-have for all slasher fans and movie collectors, this definitive Blu-ray release of THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE is priced to own at $24.97 SRP.

Movie Review: "The Beast of Hollow Mountain/The Neanderthal Man" (1956/53; Shout/Scream Factory)

...what was it, that old saying, about imitation being the sincerest form of flattery?? Point in case, the little guy...filmmaker-wise...who is inspired to 'knock off' something put out by the big-leaguers. We've seen and heard this one before, time and time again...and we've resigningly come to accept the fact that, for good or bad...for every 'Alien', there's a 'Galaxy of Terror', an 'Xtro' and an 'Inseminoid', just to give one of the more obvious examples. However, every once in a blue moon, just the opposite happens...'opposite', in the sense that a fairly good, albeit forgettable and negligible genre idea is put out there, for all the masses to see...an 'underdog' production contender, so to speak...only to have greater life breathed into such ideas, by big-studio efforts...upheld to the point where they stand out more prominently, historically, than the underlings with the original concept...in effect, making those who were there, first, almost forgotten. Alas, and yet in a way, thankfully, such is the latter case, with regards to a duo of lower-tiered classic 'B', creature-feature-style, sci-fi/horror flicks, recently showcased together, on one of Shout/Scream Factory's two-fer combo packs...

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #128 - The End of the World

Kevin does a short show in which he reviews IFC's Maron, This is the End, The World's End and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

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Cinema Head Cheese's "Best Blu-rays & DVDs of 2013"

If you're wondering at all what we at Cinema Head Cheese think are the essential genre releases are for 2013, look no further than the list below containing the best Blu-rays and DVDs of this past year. These are the cream of the crop, so make sure that you make them a part of your collection!

The Vincent Price Collection (Scream Factory)

Skull World - Warrior Edition (Unstable Ground Pictures)

Movie Review: Warm Bodies (2012)

Now I know what you all are saying. Probably screaming but whatevs. People are VERY particular about their zombies. They have to be slow; they can’t have any intelligence; they have to be fast; it has to be a chemical spill; it has to be a virus; it can’t  be funny; it HAS to be funny; etc. etc. etc.

Geez you folks are a bunch of fuss-buckets. Even those who can’t agree on most points in a zombie flick can probably agree on this: zombies don’t change and they can’t be romantic. I would almost agree with you but, as I am a girly girl from time to time, I do enjoy a good chick flick. And as a horror fanatic, I love me some zombies. Put those two together and you have Warm Bodies. I swear if I was still having my monthlies, this movie, with a giant tub of Edy’s ice cream and a bag of jalapeño chips, would be the salve to soothe the raging beast of my lady plumbing.

In a world that is almost entirely overrun with zombies, we meet R, a zombie whose inner monologue would suggest a higher level of intelligence than his grunting vocalizations. He shuffles through his daily routine, explaining to us how zombies work and think, how much of their memories are gone, and all that’s left behind are just the brain eating creatures. But one day, R sees the beautiful Julie, a living girl who is fighting with a handful of survivors for supplies. He saves her from his undead hunting party and brings her to his home: an abandoned airplane filled with trinkets and tchotchkes and remnants of the living world (one being an awesome record collection).

From this point on, things begin to change for R. He starts talking, feeling, his heart beats on and off. And it’s not just R. All the other zombies begin to change, too. And while this is wonderful for R and Julie, and possibly the rest of humanity (if they don’t shoot first and ask questions later), it draws the attention of the Boneys - zombies who have decayed so far they are nothing but skeletons in skin and there’s no hope for their shriveled brains to remember anything of their former humanity. All they do is kill and eat anything with a heartbeat.

Secondhand Smut #1: January & February 2014

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Movie Review: Judy!/The Night Hustlers (1969/68, Vinegar Syndrome)

...previously, this reviewer had made celebrative mention of the eclectic, provocative and lurid film rarities, which cut film auteur Mike Vraney, and his cohorts over at Something Weird Video had successfully...even sometimes shamelessly...built their fine reputation on, over the years. And that the folks over at Vinegar Syndrome, had since taken up that respected mantle of provocative-ness, with an always surprising array of lurid and cutting edge films, in their own right...many of which would clearly not look out of place, in the Something Weird library. But again, all of this has been adoringly said before, and though this viewer feels it unnecessary to tread that same ground, again, there is still an irresistible compulsion to take a moment in remembering what Mike Vraney, whom we regrettably lost, recently...contributed, to the genre, and his tireless efforts in preserving a certain 'forbidden' breed of cult and exploitation films, which might have outright disappeared into obscurity, were it not for his driven devotion to the genre. Films very much like Vinegar Syndrome's latest double-feature outing...two recently unearthed sexploitation outings, once again gracing yet another edition of their most excellent 'Drive-In Collection" series...presenting 1969's "Judy", paired up with the previous year's "The Night Hustlers"...

Movie Review: As Night Falls (2013, Breaking Glass/Vicious Circle Films)

...you've heard it all before, but it just has to be put out there, once again...Man, what's with kids, these days?? I mean...really, huh?? You painfully bring them kicking and screaming into this world...you reluctantly, though devotedly cater to their deliberating infant needs...you tolerate, and sometimes cater to their self-serving 'gimmee, gimmee, gimmee", if at the very least, just to keep them quiet...you lavish and spoil them with baubles and toys and things, only to have them reciprocate with wanting eyes of 'more, more, more' and 'is that all there is'...you begin to sound not unlike a vocally rapid-fire tobacco auctioneer, impatiently and frustratingly calling after the child, with '...no, no, No, No, NO!! NO!!' and '...come here, here, Here, Here, HERE!! HERE!!' and '...stop it, stop it, Stop It, Stop It, STOP IT!! STOP IT!!' Like, where's the gratitude, right?? It's not a wonder, that some parents go absolutely batshit crazy (...well, they do, right?), take a sharpened axe in hand (...well, they DO, right??), and in terrorizing and relentlessly barnstorming pursuit, take matters into their own hands, in...in...uh, let's just say 'taking care of business'...even well into a ghostly afterlife. As ludicrous and horrifically excessive as such a scenario sounds, in the interim...and although no specific reason is afforded the viewers of 2013's "As Night Falls", as to why the crazed and enraged spectral parent protagonists are crazily unabashed in violently snuffing out their child, even on a ghostly ethereal plane...our wayward observers, our cast of characters, herein these ghastly proceedings, just might serve the situation best, by either staying out of the way, and letting things take their course...or standing their ground, and fighting. What do they do, you ask?? As that guy on that old game show once anticipatorily shouted out, "...survey says...?!!"...

42ND STREET FOREVER: THE PEEPSHOW COLLECTION, VOL. 1!!

---

IMPULSE PICTURES BRINGS IT BACK!

42ND STREET FOREVER:
THE PEEP SHOW COLLECTION VOL 1

AND THE CLASSIC SAGA CONTINUES!

SCHOOLGIRL REPORT VOL. 12:
If Mom Only Knew...

TONIGHT YOU'VE GOT A DATE WITH 'THE DEUCE'!

------------------------------------------------

impulse Pictures continues its assault on your sensations with two new titles sure to tickle your... well, you know...!
Their place in history is undeniable. Hardcore 8mm stag films introduced explicit human sexuality to the public. Predating every other moving picture home format, these inauspicious productions provided not only a window to a whole other world, but also immediate relief for those not fortunate enough to make their fantasies into reality. Thousands of these underground movies were made between the 1960s and 1980s, and sold in the backs of sex magazines or distributed to the almost 60,000 private “peep show” booths located in adult stores in most major cities. Impulse Pictures is proud to present 42ND STREET FOREVER - THE PEEP SHOW COLLECTION VOL. 1, a new, continuing series of salacious 8mm shorts, re-mastered from original film prints. This collection features fifteen classic “loops” with titles like Deeper Throat, One Hung Low, Nurse's Aid, Wet and Wild, Spice of Life, and more, Watch for adult film stars Annie Sprinkle, Susan Nero, Lisa DeLeeuw, and John Holmes in these raunchy rarities!

Disc includes:

• Fifteen classic adult 8mm loops, re-mastered in high-definition from original film prints
• Each loop individually selectable, or playback the entire disc with “Play All” function
• Liner notes from Cinema Sewer publisher Robin Bougie

Movie Review: Private (aka Do It, 2003)

Directed by Tinto Brass

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Tinto Brass? Lots of ass. But you already knew that.

In this frenetic anthology film, cinema’s most perverse proctologist looks at six very sexy couples. “Alibi:” A vacationing couple in Morocco, celebrating their seventh anniversary stave off that itch by inviting their bellhop to participate in some fun and games. “Double Trouble:” She cheats on her TV network president hubby with an actor in a steamy game of tennis. He cheats on his wife with his secretary. It all turns out alright in the end. “Two Hearts and a Hut:” A maid at a Swiss resort joins an older couple for lesbian and sadomasochistic scenes in exchange for large tips to fund their dream hotel with her bellhop boyfriend. “Jolly Bangs:” A faithless wife entertains her husband at the beach with steamy tales of past indiscretions. “Evil to Him Who Thinks Evil:” An engaged couple swings with a British couple only for the husband to learn that his betrothed offered up her only virginal orifice in the ordeal. “Call me a pig, ‘cause I like it!” A married couple on holiday in London provide some voyeuristic enjoyment for someone watching through a window – but they’re in for a rude surprise!

These sort of soft-core romps are a bit immune to criticism. They seem to sum up the five word phrase: It is what it is. The Blu-Ray from Cult Epics is especially bright and vibrant, befitting the oversaturated color palette. All of the sets feature the same Art Deco semi-circle design, reiterating Brass’ abiding fascination with the female derriere.

Movie Review: Sanguivorous (aka Kyuketsu, 2007)

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Directed by Naoki Yoshimoto

Four characters. Solarized black-and-white photography. Subtitles. Dreary, droning musical score. Art film credentials. Are you still with us? Okay, how about vampires? Interested?

Such is the dilemma facing prospective viewers who elect to sit down with Sanguivorous, hailed as Japan’s first avant-garde vampire film. This reviewer wouldn’t put much faith to that claim, as Japan has cranked out tens of thousands of films over the years. It’s hard to say what Sanguivorous is “about,” although it is happily, only “about” an hour long.

According to the official press release, Sanguivorous is about a “young woman suffering from mysterious physical ailments who's horrified to discover that she's descended from generations of vampires. When with her boyfriend, she struggles to control her peculiar appetite. But it's in her blood …”

Interracial Sex Havoc - Part 1: 1966 - 1971

Interracial Sex Havoc Part 1: 1966 - 1971
A selection of film reviews by Christos Mouroukis.

The term “Ethnic” pornography is more accurate, but nobody’s using it, so we’ll have to stick with the “Interracial” one. Both are used to describe the filming of sexual intercourse between humans of different racial backgrounds.

Surely, we live in an era with loads of material for us to watch and discuss, but this selection of film reviews will introduce you to the earliest films featuring the subject that I could get my hands on, starting from ’66 and wrapping on ‘71.

None of the films included here are pornographic; they only had to have at least one interracial sex scene to qualify. The second chapter will include films from the golden age of porn and more from the blaxploitation front.

The Black Klansman (1966)

As you may have expected, this film is a talk-fest (no wonder it was made for only $55.000), until a KKK member burns a black girl alive. After this incident, and because he doesn’t get any help from the police (in a later scene we’ll learn that they’re racists too), the girl’s father [Richard Gilden from The Corpse Grinders (1971)] is seeking revenge alone. His light skin colour and a wig help him pass for white and after collecting some information he joins the local Klan in order to find the murderer.

Most characters in this one are motivated by hatred (even the sympathetic protagonist attacks his white girlfriend) and the Klan members attack interracial couples.

Ted V. Mikels directed the masterpiece Strike Me Deadly (1963) before jumping on more sensational stuff such as Dr. Sex (1964) and One Shocking Moment (1965). He then made this Klansman film which may be interpreted as either exploitation (or blaxploitation for that matter) or be taken (politically) seriously by books such as Film Alchemy: the Independent Cinema of Ted V. Mikels by Christopher Wayne Curry (it is an excellent read, and you should buy it).

No matter how you analyze this flick, two things are certain: the opening credits’ song (by Tony Harris) is awesome, and so is the ending.

Movie Review: Abduction of an American Playgirl and Winter Heat (1975,1976)

2013 has been a banner year for genre DVD and Blu-ray producers Vinegar Syndrome. With titles like The Telephone Book, Good Luck, Ms. Wyckoff and Night Train to Terror making outstanding debuts on the format, cult film fans have been able to view some of these rarely seen oddities in the comfort of their own home. Classic porn fans have also gravitated towards the company too as we've also been able to eat up numerous double-bills from their Drive-in themed collection. The brand new Peekarama line looks to be a pleasing addition to the growing library of vintage adult goodness from Vinegar Syndrome.

 This particular double feature have similar the similar themes of kidnapping and rape, but both couldn't be any more different tone. Our first half of the Peekarama double-bill is called Abduction of an American Playgirl. We begin this descent in goofy filth with couple of dopey kidnappers (Eric Edwards and Alan Marlow) pondering the kidnapping of a young woman (Darby Lloyd Rains, Naked Came a Stranger). Their goal is to have their way with her and dangle out for a ransom. The trio end up at dive hotel where they start their fun. What the boys get though is a woman, so insatiable, and draining, they become victims and get raped themselves.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #127 - Low-Rent Stupidery

Kevin and Jeff talk about the passing of Something Weird Video's Mike Vraney. They also discuss situations in which those who seek criticism can't handle it.

They list their favorite films of 2013, giving details on why you should watch each one.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

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Movie Review: Return of the Killer Shrews (2013, Coal Train Productions/Retromedia)

...in our last gripping episode, Capt. Thorne Sherman, genetics scientist Marlowe Cragis, his daughter, Ann, and the jealous Jerry Farrell (...eh, understandable, seeing that Sherman...whether he meant to or not, was horning in on Jerry's babe) were forced outside of their storm-weakened adobe shelter, and into the high-gated compound, surrounding the vulnerable and dilapidated shelter. The voraciously monstrous shrews, amassed just outside the compound, were digging, digging, digging...trying to force their way into the compound, to get at the juicy human morsels, within. With mere moments before the hungry creatures break through, Capt. Sherman devises a desperate, though most clever plan: Four large steel chemical drums, lashed together...cutting into the drums, eye ports just large enough to see through...with the idea being that each of them get inside the overturned tank-like drum structure, and with great caution, as to not get bit by the poisonous shrews, duck-walk out of the compound, down to the beach waters, and out to Sherman's boat, waiting just off shore. Jerry, in seeing this plan as ludicrous, takes to what he believes is a secure position on the shelter's rooftop. And the other three, with some difficulty, indeed shuffle out of the compound, and down to the safety of the beach waters, with dozens of shrews, nipping at their heels. Swimming out to the boat, Sherman, Cragis and his daughter breathe a sigh of relief, as they put the horrors of the island behind them...as well as Jerry, who for all intent and purpose, has been left to the voracious whims of the monstrous killer shrews...Or has he??...

Movie Review: To Jennifer (2013, DVD)

Review By: Rob Sibley

It's a tough one reviewing a film that's already made it onto your "worst" list of films of 2013. But I'll give this one a go, it will be a bit more brief then my usual reviews out of respect for the filmmakers and talent involved.

Joey (Chuck Pappas) suspects his girlfriend Jennifer (Jessica Cameron) is cheating on him. He enlists the help of his cousin played by the director (pretty good performance) to help him make a video diary of it all and expose Jennifer in the process.

This film is 76 minutes long including credits. It would have worked better at a 20 minute short film. It's commendable that Bressack after much success with "Hate Crime" would attempt an experimental film. "Shot entirely on the I-phone 5". So the film plays out basically like a bad series of youtube videos. The lead actor is highly annoying, it's hard to feel bad for him when he's bitching all the time. Bressack as the cousin Steven, is much better. Personally, the film would have been better if he played the lead role.

"We Are What We Are" DVD Contest!

About the movie:
The Parkers, a seemingly wholesome and benevolent family, keep to themselves, and for good reason. As they struggle to keep their ancestral customs intact, local authorities begin to uncover clues that bring them closer to the secret that they have held closely for so many years.
Bonus Features: An Acquired Taste: The Making-of We Are What We Are.
Interviews with Director Jim Mickle, Bill Sage and Julia Garner, Audio Commentary with Cast & Crew.

We're lucky enough to have three copies to give away in a random drawing.

All you have to do to enter is share this post and tag Cinema Head Cheese on Facebook or @CinHeadCheese on Twitter.

Contest ends on Monday, January 20th, so hurry!

Movie Review: Die Monster Die (Blu-ray, 1965)

When Boris Karloff took on the iconic role of Frankenstein's Monster in James Whale's classic Frankenstein  he became one of genre's elite actors in the 1930's. As his career progressed, Karloff would become a fixture on the proverbial Mount Rushmore of horror (along with people like Bela Lugosi, Vincent Price, Lon Chaney Sr. and Jr.). Amazingly, this break in Whale's film came because Dracula star Bela Lugosi felt the character was a little weak because of the lack of lines. Karloff thankfully seized this opportunity and followed Frankenstein with many memorable performances until his passing in 1969. His work in the 1950's and 1960's with Roger Corman and AIP became the capper to what was really an awesome career. Daniel Haller's Die Monster Die (aka Monster of Terror) was one of Karloff's later performances and even though he was up in years, and in bad health, he still had it. After knocking The Vincent Price Collection out of the park, Scream Factory has tackled more AIP goodness in this release for the Blu-ray format.

Movie Review: Jug Face (2013, Moderncine/MVD Visual)

...it often proves interesting when a genre writer or filmmaker takes an observation of unconvention...that is, 'unconventional' to that of an established and status-quo accepted 'norm', but perhaps, for all intent and purpose, completely 'normal' to the subject of said observation's origin, as well as those who subscribe to it...and weaves a literary mythos of originality and intrigue, with said subject as the protagonistic centerpiece. Few and far between situations, exactly like this, tend to somewhat dispel the sometimes resigned suggestion that the best of creative and imaginative ideas, with regards to the genres of horror and dark fantasy, are all used up...that 'the well' has run dry, in that respect. And yet, every once in a while, that very thing indeed occurs, and when it does, we of the devoted fright film aficionados, have every reason to gleefully revel and rejoice. Such is the case, when director Chad Crawford Kindle, in pondering upon his next project...his first feature film...happened to venture in and around one particular Northern Georgian pottery exhibit, came upon a most interesting (..and creepy, to say the least) discovery, and had an epiphany...a vision...an idea for a most chilling film, wrought with mystery, intrigue and unmitigated horror, beyond imagination and belief...

Movie Review: Body Bags (Blu-ray)

Scream Factory has been going above and beyond with some really fine treatment of John Carpenter’s classic films on Blu-ray. Just this year we’ve seen excellent releases of The Prince of Darkness, Assault on Precinct 13 and what could possibly be their best Blu-ray release this year in The Fog. During the early 90’s Carpenter put together an anthology along with genre great Tobe Hooper for Showtime called Body Bags. Here, Carpenter directed two of the films -- Hair and The Gas Station, and Hooper directed The Eye. Much like Creepshow, Carpenter also does a frequently humorous and gory wraparound piece where he plays a mortician who uses the bloody corpses to tell the stories unfolding.

The Gas Station is the first in the anthology and this is a straight-up slasher with some sprinklings of humor. It follows a young, attractive women and her new job as an overnight gas station attendant. She’s alone the whole night after reliving the evening shift attendant (Robert Carradine, Revenge of the Nerds). Creepy red-herrings are strewn about here in the form of a bum played by Carpenter regular, Buck Flower (They Live) and a drunk played by horror great Wes Craven.

The bodies gradually start to pile as someone is wandering about the darkness surrounding the gas station and hacking up folks. The premise of The Gas Station is routine but it starts a fun pace for the film and has an enjoyable performance by Robert Carradine.

Movie Review: Suicide Girls Must Die! (2010)

I’m not a huge fan of reality shows. I find them ridiculous, useless exercises in pointless melodrama. And, for the record, most of them are scripted in some fashion. On the other hand, I like the Suicide Girls. For those of you not familiar with them, these ladies are a group of ‘alternative’ (read pierced, tattooed and angry) nude models with a huge cult following, lucrative subscription website and, now, a couple of feature films under their belt (if they wore clothes). I don’t find the Suicide Girls fascinating due to their nudie model status, but I appreciate and encourage the outright angst and derision for ‘normal’ ideas of beauty. That kind of attitude is sexy. The reality show concept and the Suicide Girls combine in Suicide Girls Must Die!, billing itself as “the first reality horror movie.” It’s an intriguing concept that promises a great deal of areola, but, as all reality shows must go the film devolves into an unbelievable mess. On the plus side, though, the mess is naked.

Buy SuicideGirls Must Die! Unrated DVD!