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July 7, 2013

Movie Review: Airborne (2012)

What could be better than a long flight with Mark Hamill?  Definitely not a movie about a long flight where Mark Hamill is an air traffic controller. This isn't the best way to start a review. I understand that. Listen, I don't like to bash unless something is insulting to watch. By that, I mean that someone either didn't try or didn't care.

Mark Hamill tried. Mark Hamill cared. In some ways, I feel like he's only one of a handful that did. This movie is definitely not on par with one of our favorite Twilight Zone episodes. You know the one. It just isn't. This was supposed to be terrifying, but something just didn't work. Call it lack of talent or lack of story. I call it lack of interest.

On the last plane out of England, a handful of weary passengers can't wait to get to New York. In spite of the terrible weather, an old pro at air traffic control is allowed to send out one last international flight. He shows little concern about it. It must be something he's done many times. Along with the few passengers and crew, a mysterious box is making the trip.

The box contains something. I really wish I could tell you what, but even after watching, I have no idea. For all I know, it contains Marcellus Wallace's soul. Whatever it is, it makes people turn bad, and then it makes them suicidal. My theory is that this wasn't in the script, and actors were just offing themselves once they realized the hunk of shit they were in. This was seriously terrible.

Most of what happened made little sense. You wouldn't send a flight off over the ocean in the worst storm in years. The contents of the box and its power over the passengers is never explained or understandable. A government agency of some sort takes over the control tower, and that never makes sense either. The biggest mystery is why I kept watching. I really have no answer for that one.

Do yourself a favor, and if Airborne shows up on your doorstep, let it take flight into your recycling bin. Just like the premise of the movie, whatever's in the box will make you want to do bad things to yourself just to make it stop.

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