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August 19, 2017

Book Review: My Friend Dahmer by Derf Backderf (2012)

Growing up in Chicago in the 1980s and 1990s, I heard a lot about serial killers and mass murderers. John Wayne Gacy and Richard Speck were from Chicago, and they were both executed for their horrendous crimes. We were also affected by another bizarre killer at that time. He wasn't from Chicago, but he often traveled there, and some of his victims were part of the Chicago gay scene. I am speaking of Milwaukee's cannibal killer, Jeffrey Dahmer.

Dahmer was a strange case. When an intended victim escaped and led police to his apartment, what was discovered was a nightmare that Wes Craven couldn't imagine. A refrigerator full of human remains was only the tip of the iceberg. Dahmer had a long and unnerving history. My Friend Dahmer dips into the early part, up until his first killing. How do we know it's accurate? It's written by one of his high school friends.

August 17, 2017

Movie Review: A Touch of Genie (1974)

Directed by Joe Sarno                                  

Nebbish Melvin Finkelfarb’s (Doug Stone) life revolves around to tending to his Antique/Junk shop, being berated by his yenta mother (Ultramax) and sneaking off to Times Square to catch the latest skin flicks. Finding a discarded vase in an alleyway, Melvin “rubs” it in an intimate manner and out pops a sprightly female genie (Chris Jordan) who grants him five wishes. Melvin’s wishes are to take the male roles in various hot sex scenes with his favorite adult actors and actresses. This is represented by such skin flick regulars as Harry Reems, Marc Stevens, Eric Edwards and plain Jane Tina Russell boffing away on a $1.98 harem set. All well and good, but these scenes are interrupted with Melvin’s mother barging her way in to join in the action! Paging Dr. Freud? All’s well that ends well.

As Joe Sarno and Doris Wishman scholar Michael Bowen points out in his interview included on this Vinegar Syndrome DVD and Blu-Ray combo, A Touch of Genie was Sarno’s second reluctant attempt at hardcore – and it shows it. Many cast and crew members hide behind pseudonyms and the actors doing the “comedic” scenes are kept separate from the actors getting to the nitty-gritty (with the exception of Ultramax and Russell, who appears briefly as a strait-laced virgin). Bowen also rightly points out that A Touch of Genie is self-reflexive on the porn genre in general, where those stuck in undeclared celibacy live vicariously through the actors on the Blue Screen.

August 15, 2017

Movie Review: The Hearse (1980)

Directed by George Bowers                        

Jane (Trish Van Devere) decides to chuck her job in the city to move to her late aunt’s isolated mansion in the country.  Perhaps it wasn’t the best decision, as the townspeople are unexpectedly unfriendly and on top of everything else are as RUDE as FUCK. When they aren’t openly sneering at her at the country store, they pop up unexpectedly – without knocking the door or calling ahead or anything – right dab in her house! Jump scare. The reason for all the antipathy becomes obvious later on. It seems like her aunt was a devil worshiper who romantically took up with a black-clad no-goodnik and made the local area highly uncomfortable. According to local old soak Walter Pritchard (Joseph Cotton, who probably did a little too much research for this role) claims that Jane’s aunt, following her funeral was carried away in a hearse that spontaneously combusted – her aunt’s remains never found. Jane begins an affair with the vaporous, mysterious Tom Sullivan (David Gautreaux) who lacks a vampire cape to make his intentions even more obvious. Oh, yes, it’s called The Hearse – Jane has a bunch of nightmares involving a ghostly chauffeur (Dominic Barto) chasing her about in an old Packard, but it doesn’t really add up to much.

In the Eighties, when I made it my business to see every last horror movie on VHS, I never was in a rush to see The Hearse. Finally catching up to it now, thanks to Vinegar Syndrome, I can see why. It confirmed my suspicions that it was just a blatant rip-off of Dan Curtis’ Burnt Offerings (1976) that likewise had a ghostly chauffeur (Anthony James). The chauffeur in The Hearse, Barto, is bigger, beefier, but not the slightest bit scary. Whereas James creepy, grinning specter chilled spines, Barto imposes a physical menace but is as frightening as a second-string football player on a bender. Even worse, The Hearse skates around the devil worshipping angle with a few read-aloud diary entries but no tangible dread. While beautifully photographed by Mori Kawa, the film’s main setting is brightly lit and Country Corny. One hopes that Jane will stumble into a dark alcove full of pentagrams and occult kitsch – but no luck. Even the overly serious, overbearing The Blackcoats Daughter (2015) threw the audience a bone in this respect. The closest The Hearse gets to this is a mist-laden nightmare sequence in a funeral home that is over far too soon.

August 1, 2017

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Friends From College (Netflix, 2017)

Kevin Moyers discusses the Netflix comedy about a reuniting group of college friends and how it perfectly relates to Generation X.

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July 31, 2017

Movie Review: The Slumber Party Massacre (Blu-ray)

Scream Factory has had their hand in the Blu-ray debuts of many of the classic slashers from the 80's. One such film that they've recently unearthed for a High-Def makeover is from the one and only, King of the B's, Roger Corman. Throughout Roger Corman’s career (most notably in the 70s and 80s), the legendary cult film producer and director has taken a lot of unwarranted abuse by critics and film-goers for producing too many films that portray women as just objects, that are best seen either naked or getting killed. To me that’s a bunch of crap. Few producers have empowered the female gender like Roger Corman has. Sure they get naked, and yes plenty have perished at the hands of Carnosuars and driller killers, but some talented ladies have actually been employed to do more, like direct, write and produce. The director of the Slumber Party Massacre is is actually a talented woman by the name of Amy Jones. That's my evidence, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Gloria Steinem! Now onto the movie!


July 25, 2017

Movie Review: 9 Days: Whipped, Chained, and Tortured by a Psychopath (2013)

All righty, folks. On to the next DVD in the stack. Let’s see here. Brought to you by Chemical Burn Entertainment…
Oh, fuck my life.
This next little slice of excrement was written, directed, produced, edited, additionally photographed by one fucking guy, Samuel M. Johnson. I know nothing about him or what’s about to go down but being distributed by Chemical Burn is a HUGE strike against him/this movie.

Funded by Kickstarter…

Oh, Fuck My Life.

9 Days: Whipped, Chained, and Tortured by a Psychopath (I shit you not) is a unique (read: not at all) tale about Virgil who kidnaps and tortures young women to make them worthy of asking God for forgiveness. They must evolve beyond victim into the aggressor and then move on before they are complete. Inspired by Dante’s Inferno…

OH, FUCK MY LIFE!

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Castlevania (Netflix, 2017)

Kevin Moyers reviews the short and gory animated Netflix series based on the popular video game series.

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July 23, 2017

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #145 - San Diego Comic-Con International 2017 Movie and TV Trailers

Kevin Moyers breaks down most of the movie and television trailers released at Comic-Con International in 2017 in this bonus episode. The trailers range from The Flash, Riverdale, and Star Trek: Discovery on the TV side to Justice League, Ready Player One, Jigsaw, and Infinity War on the movie side.

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July 18, 2017

Cinema Head Cheese/Kayfabe with Frankie G. Podshort! - GLOW (Netflix, 2017)

Kevin Moyers, Masked Blogster, Mini Mandy, and Frankie G. discuss Netflix's fictionalized telling of the story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.

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July 2, 2017

Movie Review: Babyface (1977)

Directed by Alex de Renzy

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Skin trade auteur Alex de Renzy pushes lots of buttons with one of his most famous -- and accessible films, Babyface, given the royal treatment by the fine folks at Vinegar Syndrome.

Hulking Neanderthal with a nice haircut Dan (Dan Roberts, in a singular film performance) is tooling about his job at the seaside docks when he is propositioned by vivacious 15-year-old Priscilla (Lyn Malone). Taking advantage of the situation, their affair is less than five minutes old when Priscilla screams “rape.” Pursued and shot at by a policeman, Dan jumps in the drink to later wash up on shore, where he is later given sexual healing by two foxy mistresses. Needing a place to lay low, they suggest Dan hide out at a local male brothel that services horny housewives. The shoe on the other foot, Dan and his fellow male prostitutes (one played by longtime porn actor Joey Silvera), become the objects of the female eye … slabs of beef for feminine approval. In the meantime, Priscilla’s vindictive mom has vengeance in mind.

July 1, 2017

Movie Review: Daddy's Little Girl (2012)

Okay. Let’s get this straight out into the open. This movie is not horror, even though it’s touted as such on IMDB. It’s definitely a thriller. Normally that makes me very angry because I go in with one expectation and get something completely different. In this case, though, I’m willing to forgive the false advertising because this is one of the most BRUTAL revenge thrillers I’ve ever seen. It might even top Old Boy and I Saw The Devil - or at the very least, be on par with them. And those are two nearly perfect films.

Daddy’s Little Girl is the story of Derek, a single father sharing custody with his ex-wife, Stacy, of their beautiful little girl, Georgia. Though tensions are obviously high between the two adults, Georgia seems like a very well adjusted and happy kid. So of course, something terrible happens.

Book Review: Carnival Piece by Ed Wood

Once again, the inimitable Ed Wood brings us crashing back into the sleazy underworld known as the carnival. In Carnival Piece, much like Wood’s earlier Side-Show Siren, there is a murder at a carnival. A murder and sex. A murder and sex and side-show freaks. From the novel's back cover:

LESBIANISM…
HOMOSEXUALITY…
TRANSVESTISM…
These are the sexplosive ingredients that go into one of the most penetrating studies of abnormal interpersonal
relations to yet appear in fiction. Enter the lives of the sex-driven characters of the CARNY!
A book you can’t put down!
LUST… MURDER… ABORTIONS…

Buy Carnival Piece in Vintage Paperback!

Movie Review: The Creep Behind the Camera (2014)

Directed by Pete Schuermann

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

In cult film fandom, there exists an echelon of maverick filmmakers who get their outlandish projects done in spite of a lack of money and no real discernible talent. Far, far, far removed from the studio system, upstarts such as Herschel Gordon Lewis and Edward D. Wood Jr. whip up colorfully inept motions pictures that people still treasure to this day.

There is a dark side to all of this admirable gumption and verve, however. The making of any independent feature film, from Sundance favorite to shot-on-video zombie epic is fraught with broken promises and unpaid bills. Case in point: Friend and bad movie director extraordinaire Larry Buchanan, for all of his old school charm and gentility broke quite a few eggs to make his omelet. To this day, actors on his Grade-Z stinkers such as Curse of the Swamp Creature (1967) have quite a few horror stories to tell – unrelated to the horror stories the films themselves were trying to tell! Just ask actor Francine York, who starred in the aforementioned Swamp Creature  … but that is a story for another time.

This dynamic is illustrated profusely in the quasi-documentary Creep Behind the Camera, the story behind the many-named Arthur Nelson, the cracked auteur behind The Creeping Terror (1964). Imminently familiar to the readers of this Web site, The Creeping Terror is about a vaguely phallic walking carpet monster that eats a few people and disrupts a dance down at the union hall in a small Californian town. Atrocious as it gets, the entire soundtrack to The Creeping Terror consists of narration from Wham-O! Toy commercial pitchman Larry Burrell and canned music. While celebrated by bad movie fans, there's no denying the fact that The Creeping Terror is best left as a late-night sleeping aid.

June 30, 2017

Back Room Blues: A Tribute to Smut Palace Insanity

by Heather Drain

You’ve seen it; we’ve all seen it. (Well at least those of us enough huevos to admit it.) You’re at the local video store and greeting your line of vision is the back room door, it’s seclusion promising you sights that may tantalize you, turn you on, or even scare the living bejeesuz out of you. What carnal delights await you in the 18+ video room?

Well unless you have time traveling powers or an exceptional video store, you will be greeted with scores of generic faces and bodies being pried open and splattered with semen. Worst of all is that none of these porn clones have the decency to even look like they are into it. At all. It’s like getting psyched up for a blind date with an exotic stranger and being greeted by your old Science teacher naked and with a dingus up his butt. Gross, wrong, and ultimately disappointing.

Book Review: Purple Thighs by Ed Wood

by David Hayes

1968 was a VERY prolific year for Wood. He wrote around 10 novels (confirmed) including this one. Originally titled Lost Souls Delivered (the brilliant Wood euphemism for LSD), you may have already guessed that sex and drugs are the topic of Purple Thighs. Well, if one is prepared for the standard “let’s get stoned and screw” of a majority of 60s smut dealing with drugs, forget about it. Wood has crafted a nice little allegory with biblical (yes, biblical) proportions.

The first chapter alone details a very Wood-ian telling of Adam and Eve in the Garden. And now, an excerpt:
And it was the deepest of all instincts which caused her hands to immediately cover up the intimacies of her body when the bearded face of the man looked at her through the brush. An extremely handsome man, but a man with very long hair, almost as long as her own, and a beard which covered most of the lower part of his face… She liked what she felt in that new experience. Then the pleasure intensified itself when the new creature mounted her and their animal instincts gave each a sensation which would last an eternity; for all men and women for all time.

June 13, 2017

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #144 - Gunn to Your Head

In the first full-on podcast in a long time, Kevin Moyers and Jeff Dolniak discuss the career of James Gunn from Troma to Marvel and everything in between.

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June 8, 2017

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Wonder Woman (DC/WB, 2017)

Kevin, Masked Blogster, Mini Mandy, Handsome J, and Frankie G. talk about the first movie in the DCEU to finally win them over.

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June 7, 2017

Silent Screams: Haxan (1922)

Originally released in 1922, Haxan is a Swedish docudrama on witchcraft. Conceived in seven parts, the film used ‘documentary’ footage of witch-y type things as well as actor re-enactments. The not-so-proud forefather of found footage wackiness like The Blair Witch Project and The Last Broadcast, Haxan was far ahead of its time. Remember, this is on the heels of Murnau’s Nosferatu and Caligari, so there is an audience available for horror (Melies was doing it in the late 1800s), but nothing this extravagant had been attempted up to this point. Its run time was a staggering 104 minutes.

June 5, 2017

Movie Review: Wonder Woman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (Vivid - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock 

Starring :

Kimberly Kane
Kirsten Price
Penny Pax
Ash Hollywood
Melody Jordan
Ana Foxx
Claire Robbins
Ryan Driller
Giovanni Francesco
Eric Masterson
Evan Stone

Synopsis

Legendary director Axel Braun brings to life the erotic adventures of the world's most beloved superheroine: Wonder Woman! Action, mystery, magic, and steamy hot sex are the key ingredients in this long-awaited adult parody, and the result is another masterpiece of erotic entertainment.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 38 mins.)

———————

In WONDER WOMAN XXX: AN AXEL BRAUN PARODY, we find Diana Prince of Themyscira, doing what she does best - fighting crime.  Her latest capture(or so she thought) is Angelo Bend, the criminal known as "Angle Man".  Wonder Woman catches the criminal as he attempts to steal a precious sapphire from the Embassy known as the "Eye of Parsippany".  She apprehends the perp with her ever-trusty "Lasso of Truth", but as she learns, even the iconic weapon of choice seems to be no match for Angle Man's weapon on hand - "The Angler", a weapon, that when activated, transports the criminal out of harm's way.  Well, he may have been unharmed at that moment, but later, it's as if karma comes back to haunt him, as he finds himself later outsmarted by someone that he assumed was an ally, the deadly femme fatale, "Killer Frost"(Ash Hollywood).  Meanwhile, with Superman on assignment in Africa, Wonder Woman meets up with "Batman(Giovanni Francesco), who is still suffering from injuries sustained at the hands of the villain, "Killer Croc".  Along with "Batgirl"(Penny Pax), they all brainstorm on just how it was that Angle Man was able to get away.  It is then that Batman believes it to be some sort of alien technology.  But as both Wonder Woman and Batgirl find themselves a little preoccupied with the crimes of their old foe, "Ares"(Evan Stone), it is elsewhere that "Lois Lane(Kirsten Price) conspires with Wonder Woman nemesis, "Cheetah"(Melody Jordan) in a plot against her.  The episode concludes with Wonder Man believing that someone is attempting to hijack her mind.  Confused as to whom it could be, she eventually catches up to "Superman"(Ryan Driller, again), but as it would be revealed, not even Superman is immune to such treachery.

June 4, 2017

Movie Review: "Circus of the Dead" (2014; Bloody Bill Productions)


...at a young age, nearly all of us are bombarded by sugar & spice fables...the things that jostled the imagination, to a world of wonder...a world of magic and fantasy...a world of laughter...the countless candy-coated 'happily ever after' fairy tales...the patron saints of magic, generosity, kindness and giddy mirth...the egg-hiding Easter bunnies, and the North Pole-dwelling Santa Claus...and of course, the clowns...oh yes, the clowns...those giggly, pasty-faced, horn-tooting, floppy shoed, wacky purveyors of mirth and laughter. And as youngsters, we buy into it all...lock, stock and barrel, without a smidgen of disbelief, or consideration that they just might be something diabolical, beneath the fabricated fantasy folds...

...and when we all grow up, that all abruptly changes; Santa becomes a clich├ęd symbol of generosity and yuletide spirit...the Easter Bunny, now representative of purity and fertility...the fairy tales, still fantasy tales to be told and read, but in truth, far, far darker in original inception, than the sugar-coated renditions, read to us as children, or gleefully animated onto the screen by Disney. And the clowns?? Oh yes, leave us not forget the clowns. Those so-called 'giggly, pasty-faced, horn-tooting, floppy shoed, wacky purveyors of mirth and laughter'...alas, a resigned deception,. at times...possibly hiding a sadness, beneath the painted smile and the wacky antics...maybe even something criminal, giving underlining and paranoiac cause for distrust, dislike and a slew of unspoken closet coulrophobics. And sometimes, harboring a much darker purpose...something sinister...diabolical...evil...even downright @#$%ing insane!!...