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September 30, 2014

Movie Review: "SX_Tape" (2012; Well Go USA)

...the pursuit, and subsequent taking on of yet another entry, from a tired, repetitive, well-worn and now-way-too-often emulated sub-genre, seems...well, seems synonymously not unlike that of the tired meanderings and lamentations of a certain well-known commercial pastry proprietor...you remember this guy, right?? Up at the wee hours of the morning. dragging his feet out of the bedroom and into the bathroom...murmuring an unenthusiastic groan of "gotta make the donuts"...slowly slogging his way out the front door, and into his car..."gotta make the donuts"...a lethargic, waddling shuffle through the front door of the shop..."gotta make the donuts". Day in, and day out...same old, same old, right??...

...indeed, a comparative and poignant template, not that far removed from applicably describing the readied expectations and ho-hum routine one must endure, in going into yet another supernatural and/or paranormal-themed 'found footage' film production. We've seen them all, right?? Oh, heck...Mickey Mouse roll call, sound off now: ...the shaky, nausea-inducing camera work. The film's singularly assigned or assumed camera operator, barely seen in the film, but insistent upon having the camera affixed to his or her face, to catch every moment, whether important or trivial. The token complainer, often the aim and focus of the camera operator, whining incisively about "why do you have to film this??", "do you have to film everything", and yet, still insistent upon being the 'director', with a pointed finger, saying 'film this', 'film that', and the occasional slinky, sexy, sultry and revealing 'uh, film this'...not to mention the wayward 'did you see/hear that??', only to reveal that it's nothing...right before something does happen. The random inner-splicing of personal footage, amidst the 'discovered' footage of intent, suggesting that the camera operator just grabbed the nearest tape in a huff, little realizing that there was 'personal stuff' already on it (...what, no Radio Shack, on route to the ghostly scene?). And of course, the reveal of the nasty little invasive supernatural entity...playfully and mysteriously moving things, at first...then, progressively frustrated and angered, either materializing at the most impromptu moments, or possessing the nearest hapless person within reach, giving the cautious voyeurs a hard time, and rushing suddenly  & frighteningly face-first into the camera lens...all creeped out, ghastly-looking, unnervingly black-eyeballed and hideously toothsome. Uh, did we forget anything??...

...and so, along comes a somewhat deceptive looking (...by the cover art, and the title) addition to the 'found footage' bunch, and in going into "SX-Tape"...uh well, here we go again (...with an unmotivated dragging of the feet, and an angst, tiresome murmur)...'gotta make the donuts...gotta make the donuts...gotta.....

...Jill (Caitlyn Folly) and Adam (Ian Duncan), an intimately playful and eagerly exhibitionist couple, living in greater Los Angeles County area...she, an aspiring artist, and he, despite unmentioned vocation, has a marked obsession with capturing spontaneous moments on video...who genuinely get their rocks off, in filming each other on the fly, find that their regular diet of spontaneous and impromptu, reciprocative home video-produced voyeurism is getting inordinately stale and un-alluring. And so, in search of alternate ways of spicing up their video-enhanced love lives, they happenstance come across what appears to be a long fenced-up, boarded up hospital. Adam proves last-minute reluctant to explore, and against his wishes, Jill...the more adventurous of the two...slides through a hole in the property's fence, and eventually coerces her nervous & wary beau to join her, rolling video camera and all...
...once having broken inside the already broken-down facility, Jill and Adam set their modes to exploration, seemingly drawn to every creak, squeak and leak which they believe that they hear (..."...hear that?? Let's go check it out..."); Jill also starts waxwrapsonicating about how uniquely and alluringly creepy perfect this place would serve, as far as a gallery for her artistry. When they pass by a room, which appears to have a filthy sheeted bed, adorned in restraining straps, the two go into the room, and quickly set up a faux scenario of sexual kink, using the restraints. And as Adam is filming Jill on the bed...What the...?? A flash of ghostly apparition, seen through the camera lens?? Naw, says Adam, shaking it off, but nonetheless quite spooked. Further creepy noises and 'wasn't that there, a moment ago' moments raise the level of shudder enough for the both of them to finally high-tail it out of the building...just in time to see Jill's car being towed away. And what's with the strange and angry looking vagrants, congregating across the street from the hospital...just standing there, staring in their direction??...

...disdained over having her car towed away, Jill immediately rings up her friend, Ellie, explaining her plight; and as quickly as one might say the words, 'rush to the rescue', Ellie pulls up to the curb, with her boyfriend, Bobby, in tow. But do our motley crew jump into Ellie's getaway car, and high-tail it outta there?? No siree, bob!! Despite the unexplained phenomenon in the hospital, and despite the growing mass of derelicts, gathering across the street, they sally forth back into the dilapidated facility. And so, with Adam's video still rolling amidst these events, further exploration of the hospital ensues, during which time...further weird and startling happenings, take place...Bobby, exasperated over what he thinks is a waste of time, and as such, cannot help but be the dick of the party, making moves on Jill, and flashing a steely pea-shooter, which he'd brought with him...an overall uneasiness washes over the group...and Jill?? Well, she begins to act rather peculiar...almost as if she wasn't quite herself, as the soon-to-be-horrified others, are about to find out...
...now, right off the bat, this viewer...considering that the director of "SX_Tape" was none other than genre famed Bernard Rose, who's career high point was, and...well, in light of these particular mis-steppen proceedings, still is the chilling classic, 1992's "Candyman"...couldn't help but feel just a smidgen of nostalgic deja-vu, in the sense that, like the events of "Candyman", we have here, a protagonist, unwarily yet bravely venturing into an area of potential danger...ominous, broken down, and located in a questionably unsafe area. Or the fact that the site of the macabre events depicted, is the broken down Linda Vista building...often used by Hollywood, for films of this ilk. But as much as this might prove a momentary taste or two of recall, the rest of the film offers little, as far as originality. Yes, we've seen it all before...more effectively executed...in films like "Grave Encounters" and the initial chapters of "Paranormal Activity". And even the macabre offerings herein, seem not fully carried through and fleshed out; in a lot of ways, "SX_Tape" appears to pull it's punches, with moments that might have developed into...well, something unique and different, but ultimately prove a repeated lament to both missed opportunity, as well as 'been there, done that'...like we're watching someone walk through a darkened hallway, with multiple doors to choose from; we, the purveyors, know exactly which doors will prove the most interesting, but as much as we might directionally scream at the characters, unwary of our 'presence' they just seem to keep picking the wrong doors...
...even right off the bat, the rules of suspense, as well as the 'found footage' expectations seem to be thrown to the wayside, as far as this lackluster, routine and overall un-scary entry in the sub-genre; kicking things off, before we are even intimately engaged with the main characters, we are presented with police station surveillance footage of an interrogation with the Jill character, being questioned about the deaths of her friends...the events of which she seems, as far as questioning authority is concerned, to mysteriously and suspiciously be the only survivor of. Sort of begins to give things away, right from the start, doesn't it?? And despite the shit hitting the fan, once things really do get going, albeit predictably (...an ironic word, considering that one of the characters, at one point, expresses a dislike in being monikered as 'predictable'), we, as the audience, don't really get a true handle upon what is happening to the Jill character, when she is possessed by 'whatever it is'...and we genuinely want to know, but unfortunately, "SX_Tape" never fully goes there...
...in the end, "SX_Tape"...which reportedly languished and sat resigningly on the shelves for a couple years... might be better experienced by those who have yet to be initiated into the 'found footage' experience...uh, with accompanying recommendation that there have been better films of it's like, dealt in the past. But for us well-seasoned in this now overly-worn sub-genre...even despite the gruesome and gory, seemingly tacked on, 'ouch, that hurts my parts' shock ending...it's a road trod upon so often before, it's not even worth considering...

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Texas Chainsaw Massacre - 40th Anniversary Edition (Blu-ray)

Jeff gives his review of the blu-ray release of one of the most iconic horror films of all time.

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September 25, 2014

Movie Review: Stress Position (2013)

Attacked by mop handles!
Directed by A. J. Bond

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Here’s the premise: Director A.J. Bond in a conversation with actor David Amito tells Amito that he wouldn’t be able to deal with the psychological stress as practiced in such places as Guantanamo Bay. Amito says that he could, and so Bond offers him a wager: Spend a week in a special detention facility with a special cash reward if he makes its out with his sanity intact. Bond, if nothing else, is especially enthusiastic about the project. He builds a sterile white-on-white torture chamber dominated by a modern art sculpture. With the aid of various aides-de-camps, Bond tortures Amito, records it all on video and has conferences with other interested parties on how to proceed.

Bond’s true intentions are revealed on the third day of torture, and should come as no surprise to the viewer. The problem? None of the psychological torment inflicted on the male lead leads to anything significant. In the film Martyrs (2008), the torture of young women was revealed as a means for discovering life after death. In Stress Position, the torture of Amito is hazy and ill-defined. At one point he is strapped to a playground whirligig until he reveals a long repressed secret. When Amito finally reveals the “secret,” it is something totally inconsequential.

September 24, 2014

"DOLLS" COLLECTOR’S EDITION INVADES HOME ENTERTAINMENT SHELVES EVERYWHERE ON NOVEMBER 11, 2014!!





SCREAM FACTORY™ PRESENTS

A Film by Stuart Gordon and Executive Produced by Charles Band

DOLLS COLLECTOR’S EDITION

Starring Stephen Lee, Guy Rolfe, Hilary Mason, Ian Patrick Williams, Carolyn Purdy-Gordon,

Cassie Stuart, Bunty Bailey and introducing Carrie Lorraine as Judy Bower

INVADES HOME ENTERTAINMENT SHELVES EVERYWHERE ON NOVEMBER 11, 2014

FROM SCREAM FACTORY™


Pre-Order This Must-Have Collector’s Edition Today!

Do you like handmade puppets, toy soldiers, ballerinas and dolls? Charming elderly toymaker Gabriel Hartwicke and his wife Hilary have the perfect play toys just for you!  From celebrated cult filmmaker Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator), executive producer Charles Band, producer Brian Yuzna (Society) and screenwriter Ed Naha (Troll) comes a campy, horror cult classic that combines the pint-sized playmates of childhood with bone-chilling fun. The 1987 horror film DOLLS is a bloody good terror trap that delivers its frights, fun and fantastic effects in equal measure. The film stars Stephen Lee (The Pit and the Pendulum), Guy Rolfe (Puppet Master III, Mr. Sardonicus), Hilary Mason (Don’t Look Now), Ian Patrick Williams (Re-Animator), Carolyn Purdy-Gordon (From Beyond), Cassie Stuart (The Hunchback), Bunty Bailey (Spellcaster) and introducing Carrie Lorraine (Poltergeist II: The Other Side) as Judy Bower.

September 23, 2014

Movie Review: Tusk (2014; Demarest Films/SModcast Pictures)

...once upon a time, if some might fondly recall, there was an absolute 'looney' tale of a certain stuttering pig, ambitiously seeking out the notorious and ever-evasive Do-Do bird...a mad, screwball creature, capable of changing & altering the visual and environmental perspective, far and above that of the 'normally' manipulative, cartoon-flavored perspective, in an effort to evade detection and capture...oh, hell, if at the very least, to gleefully f**k with his hapless, would-be pursuers. Anyways, at a certain point of his arduous search, our intrepid adventurer...uh, for the sake of arguement, let's just call him 'Porky', 'kay??...comes across a rather striking sign of destination, marking the border...itself, marked with a sign that says 'slippery when wet'...between the cartoon's 'natural' reality, and the surreal, mad, hallucinogenic, albeit ironic world, where the elusive Do-Do is reputed to reside (...'snicker'...that 'rubber band' always seems to stick out in my mind, for some reason). "Welcome to Wackyland", the sign reads, where "...it can happen, here!!"...

...cutting to the chase, and thusly, this viewer's point...yes, folks!! Welcome to 'wackyland'...where indeed, it can happen here. Only, in the case of writer/director Kevin Smith's latest departure from his sometimes angst, often poignant, pop-culture savvy, and invariably comical New Jersey-based exploits...namely, a skewed, horror-themed venture, called "Tusk"...'wackyland', and the film's unconventional Canadian setting...well, if one truly considers it, the former and the latter really don't seem all that far removed from each other, in Kevin's eyes...much to the benefit, intrigue and chagrin of those privy to the new film, as you shall soon see...

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Tusk

Kevin steps up to Kevin Smith's bizarre podcast joke turned horror film.

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September 22, 2014

The Midnight Game (2013) Movie Review

Sorry it’s been a few weeks since I last posted. It’s busy season for my hubby’s business and helping out takes priority over shredding shitty movies. I mean, contemplate and ponder thoughtful movie reviews for the wonderful films my overlords at CHC deem worthy of my inspired mind.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Anyway, as I’m in a few day break before more madness ensues, I thought I’d pop in one of above mentioned films. Keep in mind, though, that I’m battling a cold so I might be a bit more heavy handed on the snark for this one.

Inspired by true events (oh, for fuck’s sake), The Midnight Game involves a handful of high school students having a little get together at Kaitlin’s house while her mother is away on business. Her friends, Jenna and Rose, invite over some boys (OMG Mom said no boiz!) Shane and Jeff.

Shane, being the QB, insists they play The Midnight Game. It’s a pagan ritual (duh) that was designed to ‘help you follow the rules’. They have to confess their fears, write their names on some paper with a drop of their blood, then each light a candle. If a candle goes out before the allotted deadline at 3:33am (I honestly drifted a bit during the exposition here so I don’t know why that’s the chosen time) and is not relit in ten seconds, the Midnight Man will come to punish you. Come on, let’s play! What could go wrong? We’re teenagers and we’re invincible!

September 19, 2014

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Wild at Heart & Used Cars (Blu-ray, Twilight Time)

Jeff reviews two blu-ray releases from Twilight Time.

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You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

Support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment by clicking the links on our Sponsors page!



September 17, 2014

Movie Review: Tinto Brass: Maestro of Erotic Cinema (5-Disc Set, Blu-ray / DVD)

As an avid admirer of the wonders of the female form I've always thought that in many ways Russ Meyer is to curvaceous mammaries what Tinto Brass is to luscious derrieres. If you've seen a Tinto Brass film, you'll notice the man truly loves a lady's bottom and how it is presented artistically on film. Framing a pair of butt-cheeks is paramount in the presentation of Tinto's many beautiful subjects he puts in one of his films. Tinto has an amazing eye for the suppleness of a round derrière as well as those other womanly features such as large breasts, much like Russ' ability and has a knack for catching that appropriate jiggle. "Real" woman are highlighted so don't expect scrawny girls, mosquito bite breasts or shaved privates - get ready for some real curvaceous subjects on the opposite side of his camera lens. 

There is a new set entitled Tinto Brass: Maestro of Erotic Cinema from Cult Epics that highlights some of Tinto's finer more recent films - Monamour, the Blu-ray premiere of Black Angel, and also two other decedent slices of Italian naughtiness Private and Cheeky. Could this be an essential addition to the collections of European erotica enthusiasts? Let's have a look!

Movie Review: Lake Placid (1999; 20th Century Fox/Shout Factory)

...killer crocodiles, this...monster alligators, that...over the years, we've had rogue crocs, super-crocs, gatoroids, dino-crocs, mega-gators, and 'what-a-croc' everything in-between (...if I may be so applicably sarcastic). Heck, if it wasn't for all these king-sized blood-thirsty, CGI-rendered mutated 'monster gator' and 'killer croc' movies...why, the SyFy Channel NYSE stock would most assuredly plummet, and the audience for said genre cable channel staple, would probably shrink down to the size of...say, that of The Singing & Dancing Ampersand Channel (...nothing like comparative sarcasm, right??). And yet, amongst these almost countless, generic and often forgettable cinematic reptilian terrors, there's the standout misfits...the often bantered-about cult film oddities, with vividly striking visuals and lively, albeit eclectic characters...revered highly amidst the genre-embracing crowd. For instance, y'all remember the classic 1980 subterranean gut-muncher, "Alligator", right?? The clueless, burnt out, inner-city police officer, investigating some mysterious disappearances and deaths?? The unscrupulous, money grubbing, middle-aged industrialist, who represented, then sheltered illegal and careless discarded chemical experiments, which turns out to have adverse effects on...uh, oh?? The arrogant, ballyhooed and pompous big game hunter, who's come to the big city, in search of the ultimate game?? The invariable clash of characters, between the three?? And of course, the film's titular 'protagonist', itself...oh yes, who can't forget the classic visual of that monstrous 35-plus foot gargantuan reptile, breaking through the concrete streets, from it's underground sewer lair...an ear-shattering roar, emitting from it's gaping, razor tooth-lined maw...

...really!! Can another film of this ilk, come along and possibly top that level of camp...or at least equal it??

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Willow Creek

Kevin talks about the found footage Bigfoot movie from Bobcat Goldthwait.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

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September 14, 2014

Movie Review: Tarzan (2013; Constantin Film/Lionsgate)

...yep, these days, the legendary Lord of the Apes...well, he ain't gettin' no love, film-wise. No siree, bob...in this day and age of super-powered, gadget-toting iron men, bat men and spider men, and/or other-worldly super men, ol' muscle-bound, grunting, vine-swinging Tarzan, for the most part, seems to be getting the ol' shaft-o-roonie. Eh, understandable, one might suppose, considering today's superhero-worshipping audience might well take one look at a celluloid-rendered version of Edgar Rice Burrough's classic literary character, shrug their shoulders, and think, '...eh, no powers?? Just muscle, animal 'magnetism' and the typical sense of right, wrong & justice...besides all that, who and what the heck is he, and what can he actually do, compared to...say, the likes of Wolverine, or The Hulk??" In fact, getting less respect, these days, than even the often heckled Aquaman...and heck, we don't even need to go there, right??...

...and to think, at one time, Tarzan was much more respectfully revered, as a savage 'hero amongst heroes'...at least, cinematically (...all due credit to athletically-vigorous Johnny Weismuller, or even via early TV broadcast (...oh, that muscle-bound Ron Ely). So what gives, as far as contemporary depiction of the once-iconic character, who pretty much hasn't seen proper representation, since...uh, can you say 'Christopher Highlander Lambert', in the heavily dramatic 1984 compeller, "Greystoke, the Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes"?? Who knows?? But in the advent of Disney, having let their rights to the character expire, and recently, those rights having been deftly picked up by a German computer animation production company...well, let's just say that our intrepid, vine-swinging Lord of the Apes, isn't exactly faring particularly well, of late, and has definitely seen better days...

September 12, 2014

Movie Review: Follow That Dream (1962, Blu-ray)

Directed by Gordon Douglas

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Pop Kwimper (Arthur O’Connell), his son Toby Elvis Presley), his sort-of adopted children, 19-year-old Holly (Anne Helm) two twin boys and a little girl are motoring down on Florida interstate when they happen upon a pleasant seaside beach. They pitch camp, and decide to claim the area as their own under an obscure “homesteader” law. Within a matter of days, the family throws together a rather ritzy ranch home from castaway junk and begins to charge big bucks to the locals for the privilege of fishing on their land. Soon enough, there’s trouble in paradise: gangsters, led by Nick (Simon Oakland) take advantage of the area’s laissez-faire atmosphere to bring their gambling casino on to the premises. It falls on the King’s shoulder to drive away the gangster, rebuff a lecherous lady psychologist’s advances (Joanna Moore) and defend his patchwork family in court against all those pesky custody laws. Will he succeed? This is an Elvis Presley movie, what do you think?

Indeed, it is an Elvis Presley, albeit with a lot on its plate. An atypical Presley vehicle, Follow That Dream has only five songs, and a decent budget – in contrast to his later films that squeezed in 14 songs that were shot on blue suede shoestrings. It’s the familiar poor-but-honest rural folk against the sophisticated city slickers story, but Follow That Dream seriously examines American society. In its running time, Follow That Dream addresses property rights, self-determination, law, child custody, psychologists (director Gordon Douglas must have had a thing against lady psychologists – remember the hopelessly ineffectual one just before the little girl survivor cowers in the corner screaming “Them! Them! THEM!” in his 1954 giant ant extravaganza of the same name?) organized crime and the U.S. judicial system. The story itself is ridiculous – Presley waltzes through the whole affair with naïve aplomb, unaware of the dangers that face him, only to be acquitted time and again by his simple, honest heart. The gangsters in this film wouldn’t last very long in real life. Presley effortlessly grabs their guns out of their hands without sweat beading on his pompadour. Presley is also amazingly chaste in this film. A running gag  has Elvis reciting multiplication tables whenever he’s aroused by women.

September 10, 2014

Movie Review: Graduation Day (Blu-ray / DVD Combo)

With the Troma classics Sugar Cookies and Lust For Freedom currently available from Vinegar Syndrome the company has recently taken on one of the more well-known slashers of the early 1980's in Graduation Day. Troma did release Graduation Day several years back but it left much to be desired to say the least.  In the hands of Vinegar Syndrome though, improvement is inevitable, especially with the fact that it's making it's a Blu-ray debut in a combo pack from the genre DVD and Blu-ray producers.

Graduation Day was actually a spawn off the success of John Carpenter's Halloween as were many slashers from the era (The Burning, Friday the 13th, The Prowler, just to name a few.)  The story surrounds a sudden death of an athlete and a series of murders that follow immediately after the young track star's death. When the deceased girl's sister, Anne (Patch Mackenzie, It's Alive III: Island of the Alive) arrives in town for her funeral the bodies begin to pile up of her peers in a variety of ways. Could Anne be taking some revenge kind of revenge on the students? Could it be the gym teacher played by the great Christopher George (City of the Living Dead, Enter the Ninja) or could it just be some random psycho with a blood-lust the killing of college kids?

September 8, 2014

Movie Review: 2 Girls 1 Cup (2007)



As you probably already know, I like porn. Backroom Casting Couch is one of my favourite online series of videos, and I love them because the fantasy is great and the performers are usually gorgeous. But this is an example of ‘regular’ porn that ‘regular’ Joes tend to watch. But, people with fetishes have their own porn too.

Something like a decade ago, I came across a Max Hardcore video or two. I don’t remember which ones, but it doesn’t really matter as they all are very similar, as is often the case with gonzo porn. I watched attractive girls doing filthy things with this dirty old man; and vomit was involved. That’s the kind of fetishist porn I was talking about above. Such is the case of the title that I am about to review here.

Max Hardcore may be American, and he even did time in jail, but this kind of porn is more often booming in countries such as Brazil. And 2 Girls 1 Cup was made in Brazil by Marco Fiorito who specializes in porn involving piss, scat, and vomit. But what is it about this video in particular that made it the most famous disgusting piece of viral madness ever unleashed on the internet? First let’s talk a little bit about what’s on screen...

An opening credits sequence involving z-grade animation is introducing us to the title’s female leads: Karla who is blonde and chubby, and Latifa who is brunette and skinny. The only sexy thing about this pair is Latifa’s tattoos, and even those, not very much so. Said performers enter a kitchen and they start kissing passionately. And they lick each other’s pussies and assholes. They actually seem to be into each other.

September 5, 2014

Movie Review: The Quiet Ones (2014, Blu-ray)

Oh, the 1970s. Filled with feathered hair, bell bottoms, and unsanctioned experimental medical treatments of psychotically tortured young women. The Quiet Ones brings us Joseph Coupland, a British abnormal psychology professor who truly believes ‘troubled’ people can manifest their negative energy through telekinesis. Once they do that, they can put it...somewhere and it can be destroyed permanently. Hence, Professor Coupland would be able to cure mental illness forever.

No small feat, that.

Coupland has already signed on two students, Harry and Krissi, who truly believe in Joseph’s theories and work. Brian joins last and his job is to film everything. What is everything? Professor Coupland already has a patient, Jane, and they will be performing experiments so she can finally rid herself of whatever is plaguing her.

Too bad the University thinks Coupland is cuckoo for cocoa puffs and pulls all funding. But that doesn’t deter our intrepid professor. He procures some run down abandoned house in the sticks and continues torturing poor Jane until she gives up the goods (I mean teleplasm not sex, you pervs) on the part of her psychosis she has named Evey.

September 4, 2014

Movie Review: The Chambermaids (1974; Impulse Pictures)

...the period, stationed at the Naval drydocks, on the Norfolk, Virginia Naval base, during the early-to-mid '80's, wasn't exactly the most off-time activity prevalent time, in this viewer's eclectically varied military career. Not much to do off-base, after a daily, rough & rigorous 10-hours-plus work shift, except to clear out the mess hall every night, killing the lights, chug a few cans of piss-warm Milwaulkee's Best, and spin the clunky reels of military-sponsored feature films on the rickety ol' projector. However, on the weekend evenings, there was always someone who somehow managed to covertly commandeer one of the base's VW non-designated buses, and as the result, a jaunty motley crew of us would speedily barrel miles down the road, whooping & hollering, and just being good ol' boys, out looking for a good time...or trouble, depending upon the inebriation level. When the bar-hopping scene got stale, and we found ourselves wearing tread on the dirt roads, in and about the midnight hour...without fail, we'd always find ourselves at one of several tucked-away-in-the-fields drive-in theaters, which exclusively flickered some of the wildest, albeit cheeziest and dated X-rated double-feature film fare, ever to have been seen stamped on celluloid. And it was one of these adventurous, late-night occasions, at which time, this viewer first laid eyes on this aged and obscure, playful and kinky little skin flick. Fast forward to 'this very moment'...at which time, afforded the opportunity to fondly revisit this obscure X-rated ditty, with considerably more objectivity, and considerably less alcohol...the invariable question, in this viewer's mind, arises: ...how does "The Chambermaids" hold up, in the advent of 40 years since the film's initial release, during the '70's golden age of skin flicks??...

September 3, 2014

Movie Review: 42nd Street Forever: Peepshow Collection Volume 3 and 4

It's amazing to think how far we have come when it comes to accessing quality material to get off to. Nowadays, if you're by yourself and looking to squeeze a goopy load to some hot chicks or dudes or whatever all it takes one or two pecks at the keyboard at your taken endless options to make your mess. There was a time when actual adult theaters theaters featured full-length films and loops. While pornographic feature films really just caught on around the early 70's with Deep Throat -- xxx rated loops have been given many an opportunity to choke the bald man into the turtle soup.

Synapse Films' super sleazy sub-label Impulse Pictures have shown a lot lately to make fans of golden age porn happy...now though, they've taken to handling loop compilations with their releases in the 42nd Street Forever: Peepshow Collection. The most recent additions to the collection are volumes three and four which include fifteen outrageous sex loops from the 70's and early 80's. If you think you can handle it here's a look at both!

Volume three serves up a grouping of loops that have plenty of interesting highlights. We get to see a young John Holmes slap around his mammoth python with a young gal. Before he pummels the lass from behind a bunch of butter to the area. Does this help dull the pain? We'll never know because all you can hear is the projector running as is the norm for every single loop on these collections.

Nightbreed Director's Cut Blu-Ray & DVD 10.28.14 from Scream Factory!


EXPERIENCE CLIVE BARKER’S CLASSIC MASTERPIECE IN TERROR 
LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE!

NIGHTBREED: THE DIRECTOR’S CUT ON BLU-RAY™ & DVD 
EVERYWHERE OCTOBER 28, 2014

"This is film history and beyond my wildest dreams of realization.” Clive Barker

Pre-order now at:

Limited-Edition: http://www.shoutfactory.com/product/nightbreed-directors-cut-deluxe-edition

Special Edition: http://www.shoutfactory.com/product/nightbreed-directors-cut

In 1990, the film was released theatrically nationwide. However, the movie studio edited the film extensively and several scenes were excised or rearranged – much to Clive Barker’s disappointment. Since then, a fan-driven movement was created (www.OccupyMidian.com) to see the full version of the film restored and re-released.  Now, after 25 years, fans and horror enthusiasts can finally experience NIGHTBREED like never before! Scream Factory, in conjunction with Warner Bros., was able to find the long-thought-missing original film elements and combed through over 600 boxes to locate not only the lost scenes but a treasure trove of never-before-seen footage as well. With lost footage meticulously restored, the result is not only a more faithful adaptation of Clive Barker’s book Cabal, but also what he originally intended NIGHTBREED to be.

September 2, 2014

Movie Review: Deadly Eyes (1982; Golden Harvest/Scream Factory)

...going into Shout/Scream Factory's recent release of the 1982 Canadian-produced 'nature-gone-amuck' horror chiller, "Deadly Eyes", sight unseen (...I missed it, when it was originally released theatrically, having instead been intensely engaged in the ol' 'hut-one, hut-two' 12-week-plus military boot camp 'game', at the time), this ardent and devoted viewer of the genre, to be quite honest, really didn't expect much. In fact, given the Fortune Star/Golden Harvest opening logos, I almost thought that I had inadvertently plugged in one of those cheezy chop-socky flicks, which for years, Golden Harvest was best known for. Sure, for a long time, it was dimly known by this unsuspecting fright film fan, that the movie had something to do with killer rats...that the film was based upon a best-selling page-turner, by genre author James Herbert...that, in a surprising genre switch, cult film director Robert 'Enter the Dragon' Clouse, handled the reins of the film. Heck, this viewer was even a bit privy to the concept, that inspiration for the outrageous special effects...especially those depicting the rats...was picked up and taken from that ol' class, notorious known as 'Killer Shrews 101'. Later on, even the dark and somewhat vague box art, displayed on the video shelves, didn't phase nor mesmerize this mega monster movie mogul, who often picked up said video rental from the shelves, took a quick & casual look at it, and with a shrug of the shoulders, placed it back, with an uninterested sigh. I mean, really...a killer rat movie?? What could I see in that, which I had not already seen in, say movies like 1971's "Willard" (...also based on a novel), it's 1972 follow-up, "Ben", or even the 1976 drive-in-flavored creature feature, "Food of the Gods"?? (...I could also mention the 1972 Andy Mulligan stinker, "The Rats are Coming...the Werewolves are Here!"...I could, but naw, scratch that...I won't even go there. Eh, forget I even brought it up...)

...boy, was I in for a big surprise...an understatement, to be sure...