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December 31, 2015

Movie Review: The Dating Game XXX: A Porn Parody (Vivid - 2014)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 31, 2015

Starring :

Penny Pax
Anika Albrite
Penny Pax
Dahlia Sky
Ash Hollywood
Michael Vegas
Tommy Gunn
Danny Wylde

Synopsis
It's just like The Dating Game, only Bachelor Number Two means he's doing anal! Welcome to the funniest spoof in game-show-porn history, with a behind the scenes, and on-camera look at freaky makeup artists, fetish-y contestants, and a host who can't stay out of a bachelorette's pants! The Date Game, only from Vivid. Great date night movie...just make sue she's loose.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 28 mins.)
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From the dating capital of the world, Hollywood California it's the dating game show that everyone knows and loves - The Dating Game!  Although this isn't your mom's dating game show - it's THE DATING GAME XXX, a porn parody from VIVID and Director, Hank Hoffman, who with this film, follow up their previous parody of THE NEWLYWED GAME, THE NEWLYWED GAME XXX: A PORN PARODY.

The film finds the game, which is hosted by the eccentric "Tim Slange"(Michael Vegas, as an hilarious take on real host, Jim Lange), playing host to Bachelor, "Paul Robert Davis"(Danny Wylde), as he will choose one of three Bachelorette hopefuls at the end of the game.  They will then win a date, which will see them flown to Boca Raton Florida, where they will enjoy an airboat ride along the Waxahachie Everglades, a couple's horseback excursion, and more.  The 3 Bachelorettes are Bachelorette #1, "Jackie Jean Bradford"(a freak of a lady played by Anikka Albrite), Bachelorette #2, "Angela"(a bit of a ditzy airhead, played by Dahlia Sky[here credited under her former stage name, Bailey Blue]) and Bachelorette #3 "Debbie Rickles"(a nice Southern Belle played by Penny Pax).  After Tim Slange divulges some details about the ladies(Jackie works at a nail salon. Angela collects stuffed bumble bees, and Debbie was born in the back on a deliver truck, on the night of a full moon, and so on), Paul feeds a round of questions, most sexual in nature, in which the ladies field. Questions having to do with things such as; fantasies, late night booty calls, and keeping promises.  The questions and answers, are fun.  However we soon find that it is what they all do during commercial breaks that is the most exciting.  Yes, after the ads for products such as Faboosh Laundry Detergent, and Bilco - hair in a can, are seen, the real action begins.  From the makeup room, dressing rooms, and back stage area, both the game's staff and contestants, just can't keep their hands off one another.  And lucky for us!

December 24, 2015

Movie Review: Krampus (2015)

Before watching The League on FX, I had never heard of Krampus.  But after hearing Jon LaJoie's character Taco singing Krampus carols and running around the mall chasing children as the fabled devil beast, I knew we needed a movie.

The previews for this film made Krampus look like a fun horror film.  The movie is also rated PG-13 so I figured this would make for a fun daddy/daughter day.  With everything being Star Wars at the movie theaters, it wasn't hard to find a seat.  The theater was actually empty until a couple of minutes into the film.

The two of us had a great time watching Krampus.  It was a fun horror film that included some recognizable stars along with some new faces.  Prior to seeing Adam Scott cast in this film, I was wondering what direction the film would go.  I was glad to see there was a level of humor to go along with scary parts.

Krampus doesn't travel alone and his helpers made this movie even more insanely fun.  Demented clown looking beasts, psychotic ginger bread men and evil elves assisted Krampus against the family that were not in the Christmas spirit.

Emjay Anthony was the real star of this movie as he was the one who started out with the most amount of Christmas spirit.  As more family members showed up to the home, his spirit becomes broken and a great storm comes along.  This is where things go downhill for all of them.


Although not a huge cast, every member of the cast mattered in their own way for Krampus.  Michael Dougherty did well directing the film and giving screen time to each actor.  Adam Scott and Toni Collette played the parts of parents to Emjay Anthony and Stefania LaVie Owen's characters.  David Koechner and Allison Tolman's redneck-type characters brought along their children and surprise everyone with Aunt Dorothy played by Conchata Ferrell.

While I said Emjay Anthony was the star, it is because of his interactions with Krista Stadler as his grandmother.  She is well aware of Krampus as you can tell by the way she talks in trailer for the film.  She gives us backstory to Krampus which is told through an animated flashback, which seems to be the way you do flashbacks nowadays.

If you're looking for some scary holiday fun, give Krampus a shot.  I know it's not Gremlins, but it's worth checking out.  I'll give Krampus three and a half out of five pile drivers.

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December 23, 2015

Movie Review: Off Limits (Wicked Pictures Passions - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 23, 2015

Starring :
Keira Nicole
Cassidy Klein
Dahlia Sky
Krissy Lynn
Small Hands
Brendan Miller
Seth Gamble
Ryan Driller

Synopsis
Jesse is the quintessential bad boy. His band is the next big thing in Los Angeles and he is on a fast track to stardom. He spends his nights playing sold out shows and in the arms of his many eager fans. He knows he should be thrilled but he can't help but feel something is missing. Then Caitlyn walks into his life. The attraction is instant. And mutual. The problem is that she is his best friend's girlfriend. Things get even more intense when they find themselves roommates. Will Jesse and Caitlyn succumb to their desire or will they have the strength to walk away from each other…?

(Runtime - 1 hr. 35 mins.)
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In the latest release from their WICKED PASSIONS banner, WICKED PICTURES and Writer/Director Stormy Daniels, here present the film, OFF LIMITS.
 
In OFF LIMITS, Jesse Stevens is the lead singer of a successful rock band that often plays in front of its devoted fans, traveling all over, to various clubs to entertain them.  It is the type of fame and popularity, that has attracted many a lady to the singer, and because of that, many of them, he has ended up in bed with, on many occasion.  Yes, while many would consider Jesse to be a player, the truth is, that deep down, it is Jesse who knows that he just hasn't found "the right one" yet.  This all seems to change however, when a dashing young lady named Caitlyn catches his eye at the club. It's love at first sight for him.  But as it would turn out, though, there seems to be a slight problem, as it is soon revealed that Caitlyn is actually dating Jesse's best friend Matt.  who happens to be the same best friend that Jesse recently agreed to let move in with him - yes, both he and his girlfriend(who at that point, Jesse had not met).  Matt, who has just moved back home from Connecticut, has just gotten a new law office job, but ran in a problem himself, when the deal for his townhouse fell through.  So now, with no place to go, both he and Caitlyn have come to live with Jesse, as the two friends reconnect after many years.  His homecoming is surely welcomed by all, especially Jesse, however Jesse wasn't expecting to fall in love with his best friend's girl.  But indeed he has.  It is something that Jesse has difficulty hiding, especially since living in the same house together, often finds the two in a compromising position, or two.  As the time spend living together under one roof progresses, it becomes clear that Matt is obviously more focused on his new job, than spending time with his girlfriend.  This of course causes a rift in the relationship between Matt and Caitlyn, and as a result, Caitlyn begins to spend time with the only one there - Jesse.  Soon, she is dropping off, and picking him up from band practice, attending the shows, and even driving his car during the day.  The two of them become really close, and soon the feelings that she develops for Jesse, match the feelings that he has had for her.  It's a chemistry that is truly undeniable.  But what do they do, as loyalty stands in their way?  Do they put aside their all apparent feelings, in favor of doing the right thing?  Or do they act of their feelings of both lust and passion?

December 22, 2015

Movie Review: Auteur (2013)

Oh, fake documentary films. Stop it. Just stop. You and your ‘found footage’ asshole cousin need to go spend time in a sanitarium and get clean until you can be real movies again.

Ugh.

Auteur introduces us to Jack Humphreys, a doughy genteel film maker who just hasn’t been able to break into the movie business. But he has a genius idea. If he can track down the missing horror director, Charlie Buckwall, and tell his story, the high brass in Hollywood won’t be able to ignore him anymore and will give him a fantastic movie deal!

Poor naive bastard.

Who the hell is Charlie Buckwall? Well, I’m so glad you asked. Charlie Buckwall is an infamous horror director. And his last film, Demonic, promised to be a giant success. But for some odd reason, before the movie could be released, he disappeared with the only copy, basically screwing over the entire crew, cast, production company, movie house, etc. etc. etc.

THE KEY (Wicked Pictures - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 22, 2015

Starring :

Gigi Allens
Olivia Austin
Chanel Preston
Mercedes Carrera
Morgan Lee
Steven St. Croix
Brad Armstrong
Derrick Pierce
Eric Masterson

Synopsis
Four women are given the opportunity to unlock their passion and sexuality. Sexy Gigi Allens offers her friends (Olivia Austin, Mercedes Carrera, Morgan Lee, and Chanel Preston) a key to the ultimate getaway. It's here that they explore and unleash their innermost carnal desires. The result? A heart-stopping, sheet-clenching, sexual inferno!
 
(Runtime - 1 hr. 51 mins.)

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THE KEY, one of the latest films from Writer/Director David Lord, and WICKED PICTURES, presents itself to us, as four lovely ladies are presented themselves, with an opportunity that promises to be "once  in a lifetime"

In the film, four women, "Rebecca"(Chanel Preston"), "Sally"(Mercedes Carrera), "Lisa"(Olivia Austin) and "Michelle"(Morgan Lee), all receive the same mysterious invitation from an anonymous sender.  The invitation includes both an address and a key, with particular instructions to show up at the said address on Saturday, September 14th.  From there, we see the ladies arrive at a lavish mansion in the hills, with no clue as to why they are there.  However as they make their way inside, they are soon greeted by "Gigi"(Gigi Allens), a friend the group has not seen in 5 years.  Gigi goes on to state that the 4 of them were chosen by her, as she has given them all a key to the luxurious house in which they now stand.  She then goes on to explain the luxuries of the house.  Luxuries that they now would have access to, whenever they please.  The house includes a Kitchen with a bar area, a private gym, a pool and Jacuzzi, and even access to massages and facials, it's a woman's perfect getaway. And in addition, after 6 months of having their key, however, Gigi informs them that then, one of them will by chosen by her to host another round of girls. It's a reoccurring process.  But with that said, it is just the type of escape our four women need, because although they all lead different lives, they all are suffering from similar life hang ups.  First, Rebecca is a business woman, and the wife of a filmmaker.  Sally has an office job as an agent for a film company. Lisa is married, but discouraged by a husband who doesn't spend time with her.  And lastly there is Michelle, whom feels as though she isn't doing much with her life.  She wants some adventure.  Noting their issues, Gigi assures them that the private spot would be their remedy.  As the film moves along, the girls experience what the house has to offer at various times, some more than others, but each of the women have one thing in common, that the experience makes improvements within their lives.  And in some cases the whole experience turns out to be a life lesson, as some come to realize that all that they need in life has been right there all along.

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Call Me Lucky (2015)

Kevin Moyers shares his thoughts on Bobcat Goldthwait's documentary about comedian and crusader Barry Crimmins.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

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December 20, 2015

Movie Review: A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy (1982)

Directed by Woody Allen

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

It is the Edwardian Age. Academic Leopold (Jose Ferrer), a proponent of secular humanism just as tedious as any religious fundamentalist, is off to the countryside to marry the far younger Ariel (Mia Farrow). They are set to reconnoiter at Leopold’s cousin Adrian’s (Mary Steenburgen) country manor for a weekend of fun before the nuptials. Adrian’s husband Andrew (Woody Allen) is a wealthy Wall Street investor and part-time inventor who terrorizes the local wildlife with his flying bicycles. Thrown into the mix is randy Doctor Maxwell (Tony Roberts) and naughty nurse Dulcy (Julie Hagerty). The sultry summer air weaves its spell on the sextet. It appears that Andrew and Arial are going through marital troubles, inflamed by the fact that Ariel and Andrew are former lovers. Everyone wonder aloud if it’s appropriate that Arial and Leopold are set to be wed, the differences in their ages at least three decades! Maxwell, while trying to pitch and woo to everything in a skirt (“He’s never lost a patient,” Andre declares. “Made a few of them pregnant, yes!”) however, befalls a series of comic injuries.

Things come to a head when Andrew presents his latest invention, a “Spirit ball,” a device that can reach into the unseen world to see the past, present and future. The resolutely non-metaphysical group is treated to a ghostly vision of a couple meeting clandestinely at the nearby lake. There is a death – but the film has a happy ending regardless.

December 19, 2015

Interview: Adult Superstar - Riley Steele (2015)

Riley Steele.  You know her as a one time DIGITAL PLAYGROUND contact star, and as a current contract star for AXEL BRAUN PRODUCTIONS.  Winning numerous awards as well as gaining a countless number of fans worldwide since coming on the scene in 2008.  I myself am one of them.  And because of that, I reached out to the blue-eyed charmer, hoping that she'd answer some questions for us.  Luckily for us, and for you - she kindly agreed.


RLB = Rick L. Blalock
RS = Riley Steele

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Movie Review: Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Luke Skywalker is missing and the First Order is looking to take over the galaxy in a way that the evil Galactic Empire never could.  The Resistance know they need Luke Skywalker to bring balance to the force as the Dark Side is clearly on the side of the First Order.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens is the seventh episode in the Star Wars cinematic saga.  Television, comic books, novels and more have attempted to continue the story of the tale but we, as an audience, are finally treated with a film.  JJ Abrams brings the fans of Star Wars the movie they deserve.

Action.  Good luck catching your breath during The Force Awakens as there is plenty of aerial combat, light saber battles, blasters and even a bit of fisticuffs.

New characters.  Our new bad guy is Kylo Ren(Adam Driver) and he wants to be every bit as bad as Darth Vader and the voice is awesome.  Domhall Gleeson and Andy Sirkis are added to the baddies as General Hux and Supreme Leader Snoke respectively.  Finn(John Boyega) is a Storm Trooper who is having a bit of an identity crisis and is a great addition.  Poe Dameron(Oscar Isaac) is the likable hot shot pilot.  Rey is played by Daisy Ridley who absolutely shines in Star Wars: The Force Awakens.  Rey and the newest droid, BB-8, are the true stars of this movie and truly make everything go.

Movie Review: CBGB (2013)

Hilly Kristal(Alan Rickman) isn't known as a great business man but he is known as someone with vision.  Vision to see past bleak walls and empty floor space in a bar located in the Bowery in New York City.  Hilly decides to open up the "CBGB" as he intends to bring in the next big thing in music; Country, Blue Grass, and Blues.  What happens is something a bit different, but does bring in Other Music For Uplifting Gormandizers.  The movie plays out much like a comic magazine.  scenes would change by showing what looked like a comic book page with panels and word blurbs.  I liked how it played out and it kept the movie fun and engaging.

"CBGB" does not claim to be one hundred percent historically accurate but it does serve for excellent entertainment and absolutely incredible music.  The film starts out with the founders of "Punk" magazine, John Holmstrom(Josh Zuckerman) and Legs McNeil(Peter Vack), drawing and discussing their vision of their upcoming issues.  This is the one part of the film that I wish would have been explored more.  I would have found it fascinating to see how a magazine in the 1970s would get off the ground from someone's basement.  The two founders do show up throughout the film however to interview different punk music artists.  It was cool to hear quotes from the artists and also see the cartoon artwork from the magazine.

Now back to the club where Hilly is needing to book some musical talent.  This is where Terry Ork(Johnny Galecki) comes in.  He is the agent of a band called "Television" and they are looking for a place to play.  Despite what the initials "CBGB" stand for, "Television" auditions anyway.  Hilly, being the visionary he is, agrees to let the punk band play shows at the "CBGB."  This is where things change.  "Televison" receives a great review and now the "CBGB" is the place to be.  Other bands/singers go on to play the CBGB like; Blondie, The Dead Boys, Talking Heads, The Ramones, Patti Smith and many others.

While I loved the music in "CBGB," I was not a fan of the quality of sound.  These were supposed to be live events inside of a dive bar but every song played was the studio version.  There was a level of rawness that went missing and may have been a large part of why this film did not do well theatrically or with many critics.  There wasn't much of a timeline for this film either.  The news was on at the bar, but unless you really know when those events took place, you may not know what year you're in(unless it all happened within a couple months).

I did enjoy "CBGB" as it is a comical look at a life with ups and many downs.  I was entertained by the rise of a small club that was a beacon for amazing music and it was thanks to Hilly Kristal.  The movie didn't claim to be more than what it was, an entertaining and partially true look at Hilly Kristal's life.  In the credits, at the end there is even a call out of how the filmmakers know Iggy Pop never played the "CBGB" and for the viewers to, "get over it."

There were some interesting casting choices which, for the most part I liked.  Malin Ackerman as Debbie Harry, Taylor Hawkins as Iggy Pop, Justin Bartha as Stiv Bators, Rupert Grint as Cheetah Chrome and Mickey Sumner looked great as Patti Smith.  The casting of Joel David Moore as Joey Ramone was not my favorite.  It was a bit distracting but at least there weren't many lines.

On the scale of up to five Pile Drivers, I am giving "CBGB" four.  A fun movie about an era of music I really enjoy.  The soundtrack alone makes it worth checking out for me.

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Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - The Seven Five (2015)

Kevin Moyers reviews a documentary about criminal New York cops in the 1980s.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

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December 17, 2015

Movie Review: Catfished (Digital Playground - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 17, 2015

Starring :

Riley Reid
Eva Lovia
Holly Heart
Zoe Monroe
Daniel Hunter
Derrick Pierce
Jessy Jones
Mr. Pete
Steven St. Croix

Synopsis

A sexy divorcee yearns for love, but is looking in all the wrong places. Her ex has already moved in between the legs of a much younger busty blonde, and her best friend is happily consummating her marriage. Nevertheless she has one guy, but he’s mostly interested in screwing her than committing. In a desperate attempt she makes an online profile and meets an incredible guy. They’ve tried to meet several times, but sadly never do.  She’s sexually frustrated, but can’t get away from sex because her horny neighbors can’t stop fornicating! In the end, she demands they meet, but will she find the man of her dreams, or discover a lie?

(Runtime - 2 hr. 18 mins.)

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With this film, Writer/Director Jakodema and Digital Playground explore the subject of "Catfishing".  It is when someone assumes a false identity online, to lead someone on, sometimes with a hidden agenda in mind.

In CATFISHED, that is exactly what happens to Jesse.  In the film, Jesse, is a young women, whom has been divorced from her ex-husband Eric(Mr. Pete), for 3 years.  Despite hoping to find love again, things just aren't working out between she and the guy, which she is occasionally dating, Keiran(Daniel Hunter).  Because of this, her friend, "Kayden"(Eva Lovia), has often suggested that she try her hand at an online dating profile.  An idea, that until now, she has strongly opposed.  However, she eventually gives in, as she creates a profile on the dating website, "Your Ass, or Mine?".  It turns out that Jesse, is a big hit among the men on the site, as she receives a number of responses after the first night.  After sorting through all of the potential hopefuls, Jesse is able to narrow it down to one guy.  A man named Johnny.  Johnny has a lot of qualities that Jesse likes; he's a High School Literature teacher, he's active, and enthusiastic.  But perhaps the thing that the two have most in common, is that they both have had their heart broken in some way(Jesse with her divorce, and Johnny with the death of his wife).  It seems as though they take comfort in each other.  From then on, Jesse and Johnny continue a relationship, as the two continuously keep in touch via text, and by talking on the phone.  For the two, it would seem that they are a perfect match, as this continues on for about a year.  That is when Jesse grows a little restless in her desire to meet the "man of her dreams".  They arrange meetings only to have Johnny cancel at the last minute, as he always seems to have the perfect excuse.  Of course, this brings Jesse down, which is why she is very excited when Johnny agrees to let Jesse come to him as the two finally meet.  However, it is when they do finally meet, that a, once again heartbroken Jesse, comes to realize that not all is always what it seems in the often anonymous world on online dating.

December 16, 2015

Movie Review: Starmaker (Wicked Pictures - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 16, 2015

Starring :

Asa Akira
Amia Miley
Courtney Taylor
Jeanie Marie Sullivan
Jessica Drake
Kalina Ryu
Kaylani Lei
Tommy Pistol
Brad Armstrong
Kurt Lockwood

Synopsis
Award Winning Director Brad Armstrong brings you his latest Adult Saga. STARMAKER is full of incredible performances from an A-List ensemble cast, as the viewer is plunged into the over-indulgent, sex-fueled world of Hollywood. In a town where secret deals, casting couches and double-crosses are the norm, nothing is ever as it seems.

(Runtime - 3 hr. 39 mins.)

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STARMAKER, one of the latest releases from award winning Writer/Director Brad Armstrong and WICKED PICTURES is a film about the darker side of the ins and outs of Hollywood. From those who are prominent, to those who will do almost anything to get there.

The latter is represented in the film by a pair of individuals, Jeremy Quinn(Tommy Pistol) and Mia Tanaka(Asa Akira), who meet each other by chance one day, while the two were sitting down at a coffee shop.  The opportunist that is Jeremy, who happens to be an aspiring screenwriter, is quick to notice from the script in her hand, that Mia herself is a struggling actress,  Mia, as she goes on to explain hasn't had much success in the business as of yet, with most of her work being as an extra, and type casted bit parts.  From there, Jeremy takes the opportunity to feed her mind a little, promising to cast her in his "upcoming" movie, as well as get her in on some choice auditions.  However, these are all lies, as Quinn really has no real clue, better yet any real connections.  However, the thing is that Mia, is so naive that she believes every word.  This of course leads the two to sleeping together, and somehow, a short time later, Jeremy somehow gets he and Mia into the exclusive house party of famous Producer, Martin Anderson.  Of course, Jeremy doesn't really personally know Martin, yet he pretends to, just long enough to proverbially waive Mia under the Producer's nose.  As it turns out, Martin has a particular liking for Asian girls.  Jeremy is well aware of this, and hopes that he will take the bait.  He does, and he soon offers Mia an audition for a part in one of his latest pictures.  It is just what Jeremy needed, as he is now "in the door" at this point.  Although this very much involves Mia, he sees this as an opportunity to further his writing career(which up until that point, is pretty much non-existent).  From there, Jeremy also continues to use Mia's naivety to his advantage.  He suggests that when she go to the proposed audition, she come on to him, and should Martin give in, there they could catch it all on video.  They could then use said evidence to blackmail the Producer into giving them jobs(of course Mia as an Actress, and Jeremy as a Writer), thus furthering their individual careers.  The initially reluctant Mia eventually gives in, and their plan is set into motion.  All at first, seems to go as planned, but when Martin's wife, Elise catches wind of the fling, as well as the black mail scheme, Martin and Elise(along with their security guy, Curtis) put the pressure on both Jeremy and Mia.  This eventually puts strain on their partnership, forming a wedge between them.  But as Martin and Elise continue to turn Jeremy and Mia against one another, a hurt and distraught Jeremy resorts to actions that turn the situation on its head, as dark secrets are revealed, along with proof that, as long as money and greed are involved, no one can be trusted.

December 15, 2015

Erotica FM (Digital Playground - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 15, 2015

Starring :

Stella Cox
Anissa Kate
Cathy Heaven
Jasmine James
Samantha Bentley
Sienna Day
Subil Arch
Tamara Grace
Ben Kelly
Freddy Fox
Juan Lucho
Marc Rose
Potro Bilbao
Ryan Ryder

Synopsis
Erotica FM: a late-night confession show where callers share their stories over the airwaves with sexy and classy radio host, Miranda (Stella Cox). As Miranda’s listeners recount their tawdry tales live on air, and as they do, their tales of sexual conquests are brought to life.

(Runtime - 3 hr. 10 mins.)
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In the film, EROTICA FM, Stella Cox is a DJ for a late night radio show.  In the adult oriented show, the host asks callers to phone in with their most erotic, sexually charged confessions.  As we find out, Stella's show is rather popular, bringing in a number of callers.  On this night, as callers call in and make their sexual confessions, we as viewers are treated to the visuals of each tale, as we see them play out before our eyes.  EROTICA FM, presents to us 5 different scenes featuring a variety of different themes, as well as sexual encounters.  We have a woman who comes on to her boss, a lonely housewife, who longs for sexual satisfaction from her husband, a kinky threesome, a bachelorette who has one last fling before getting married, as well as a radio host who seems to have a sexual appetite that rivals even her most kinkiest of callers.

December 14, 2015

Movie Review: American Heist (2014)

James Kelly(Hayden Christensen) is doing everything he can to get by.  Living in New Orleans post-Katrina and trying to better his life after a stint in prison has proved to make things difficult.  James' situation doesn't get any easier when his brother Frankie(Adrien Brody) is released from prison and gets the two brothers mixed up in a heist.

Sounded promising.  I love a good heist movie so what can go wrong here?  I wasn't expecting this movie to "wow" me but what it did do, I didn't expect.

Nothing.

Okay, maybe not "nothing" but it sure didn't do much.  When I think of a heist movie, I think of something where there's a well thought out plan.  Heck, even if the plan doesn't work, something cool usually happens.

Not here.

I do get that we were supposed to be attached to the inner struggle of Hayden Christensen's character.  The troubles with his brother, winning back the affection of his lost love Emily(Jordanna Brewster), trying to get a small business loan and being a terrible auto mechanic.  He tells Emily he needs to replace the carburetor in her new Fiat.  I do feel that if this was the direction of the film, there should have been more exploration into the lives of those involved in James' life.  Jordanna Brewster was a nice surprise for the film and there probably should have been more done with her.

So with the world taking a crap on James, Frankie is out of prison and gets him in on the worst heist ever.  It didn't even feel like the heist was supposed to be successful as Ray(Tory Kittles), the co-leader of the group, just wants to stick it to the banks and going for a Grand Theft Auto video game looking life.  Sugar(Akon) is the other leader of the group.  Must be because he did the music for the film.   I'm really glad this movie was only an hour and thirty four minutes.

There were also some weird camera angles.  Not sure if they strapped Go-Pro cameras to the actors and told them to bob their heads while they walk.  I don't know where the accents are from either.

Watch at your own peril.  American Heist gets 1.5 out of 5 Pile Drivers.

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What did you think of American Heist?  Leave your comments below.

December 11, 2015

Secret Spa (Adam & Eve Pictures - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 11, 2015

Starring :

Aidra Fox
Penny Pax
Shay Fox
Misty Stone
Miko Day
Dillion Harper
Ryan McLane
Jay Smooth
Steven Lucas
Bradley Remington
Chad White

Synopsis
When the rich and beautiful look to fulfill their sexual fantasies, they head to Malibu Sunrise Resort, where discretion is guaranteed and the staff is devoted to your pleasure. Do you desire an interracial romp, threesome, lesbian love, or some playful S&M? Whatever you crave, Secret Spa is the perfect place to get the release your body needs, and where facials are always on the house!

(Runtime - 2 hr. 28 mins.)

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In the film SECRET SPA from ADAM & EVE and Director Jay Allan, the plot centers around the titular spa in Malibu.  That spa, is the Malibu Sunrise Resort, and it is only open for the elite and wealthy,  The Malibu Sunrise Resort, which is overseen by a character played by Chanel Preston, opens its doors only once every summer, offering its prominent clietelle an abundance of pampering, as well as any sexual desire that they may so crave.  It's a getaway, that only those only "in the know", know about.  The film opens as summer is upon us, and as a result, a few lucky clients have showed up, including; movie company executive, Jenny Clark, singer Heather Sage, and fashion designer, Kelly Jones.  And making her first trip to the secret resort this year, is also Lori Miller. Each of the ladies are looking to explore sexually during their stay at the resort.  Sexual acts such as; Interracial, group sex, girl/girl and BDSM.  The film goes on to essentially give the viewer a "peek behind the curtain", as these clients dive into their curiosity at full throttle, at this all-exclusive resort.

December 9, 2015

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - A Very Murray Christmas (2015)

Kevin Moyers talks about a new holiday special straight from Netflix.

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December 8, 2015

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - American Ultra (2015)

Kevin Moyers reviews an action film that flew way under the radar.

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December 6, 2015

Movie Review: The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

by Hal Astell

Director: Joseph Green

Stars: Herb Evers, Virginia Leith and Leslie Daniels

Buy The Brain That Wouldn't Die on Blu-ray from Scream Factory

'Let me die!' a woman's voice repeatedly pleads before the title credits begin, in fact before we see anything. It's a disembodied voice out of nowhere that suggests a female version of Johnny Got His Gun, or at least that begins where that book and film ends. It's all very promising but sadly it's all downhill from there, which possibly explains why this was completed in 1959 under the title The Black Door but wasn't released until 1962 under its current more lurid title. It isn't without merit, as it does contain a number of memorable cult moments, not least one of the most abiding images of all sixties genre cinema, but it still can't live up to the title. It comes from the common mad scientist subgenre of horror/science fiction movies of the time but unlike their progenitor Frankenstein which remains as timeless as ever, this has already been superceded as the unholy transplantation of limbs and organs that it rages against is routinely beneficial today.



It's fascinating to watch these movies and see public opinion, as distilled through scriptwriters trying to please the largest audience possible, change over the decades. This film is only half a century old, but it already seems quaint and dated to those of us who have benefited from or know people who have benefited from the very transplant techniques that are derided by the characters as immoral, unethical and insane. Much of the problem is that the overtly schlocky characteristics of a mad scientist are so much easier to write than his more sophisticated drives, especially if you ignore the idea that science is constantly moving forward; and naturally scriptwriters of schlocky low budget genre movies from the fifties and sixties really couldn't give a transplanted rat's ass for anything sophisticated. They could happily start at 'Burn the witch!' and work backwards from there to generate a salacious heap of scientific gobbledygook.

December 5, 2015

Movie Review: Cooties (2015)

Reviewed by:

James DePaolo





Cooties is a reminder that horror can be fun and still be effective. The last film I really remember having a blast in and the audience was into it was the remake of Evil Dead. (Then they forgot they had fun in the theater and ran home to post hate on the imdb to be hip) This film felt like Faculty meets Zombieland, in which we get a group of teachers running away from zombie virus infected brats in a small town of Ft. Chicken. Ft. Chicken is famous for their poppable pullet nuggets that they supply to the local schools for the kids’ lunches. Cooties is the example of what old school film fans vs new school everyone is an idiot critic fan. While some are going to complain that this is nothing more than a zombie film with some moments of craziness, they seem to forget that because they watch a film with their cell phone in one hand and an attitude that they are above any film moment that film is not meant to be taken so serious. Films are meant to enjoy, to let the story unfold and stick with it. While I admit some films are far more a task than others, but come on people does everything have to suck or be shit? What do you want a multiplex full of paranormal smart films that give you zero horror but you can experience the boredom of people who are just like you?

December 4, 2015

Movie Review: The Bounty (1984)

Directed by Roger Donaldson

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

In this more “historically accurate” version of the HMS Bounty incident of the late 18th Century, Commanding Lieutenant William Bligh (Anthony Hopkins) goes before court at Greenwich to face charges that he let his ship slip into mutiny. Electing his friend Fletcher Christian (a young Mel Gibson) to lead the expedition to gather breadfruits for good King George – the one who let the American colonies slip through his fingers, the Bounty sails for Tahiti. The Bounty’s mostly young crew is lacking in discipline, and Bligh is forced to resort to strict corporal discipline.

When the ship fails to navigate around Cape Horn due to inhospitable weather, the Bounty must resort to take the longer eastern route. Finally arriving in Tahiti in October of 1788, the Bounty’s crew grows dissolute drinking rum, chasing after the local Pacific Islander beauties and getting tattoos – very much like the twenty-somethings of today.

It is here that Christian fails Bligh by falling in love and conceiving a child with local orchid Mauatua (). Gathering the men for the trip back to Great Britain – after several months of luxuriating in a tropical paradise, the crew grows increasingly rebellious. Floggings and harsh disciplinary actions fail to do the trick, and when Bligh threatens to sail around Cape Horn, knowing that the harsh weather will lead to the loss of crewmate, Christian rebels and sets Bligh and his followers on a raft with minimal provisions. Aware that their actions will lead to executions back in England, the various crewmembers resort to drastic measures to cover their tracks …

December 2, 2015

Movie Review: Peter Pan XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (Wicked Fairy Tales - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 2, 2015

Starring :

Keira Nicole
Aiden Ashley
Mia Malkova
Riley Steele
Vicki Chase
Ryan Ryder
Steven St. Croix
Tommy Gunn
Dane Cross
Jay Crew
Jake Taylor

Synopsis
Legendary director Axel Braun puts his sexy spin on the timeless story of Peter Pan in the fourth Wicked Fairy Tales release. Take a magical trip to Neverland with Wendy, Tiger Lily, and two very mischievous mermaids as they help Peter fight the villainous Captain Hook and rescue Tinker Bell, played to perfection by Riley Steele. With an all-star cast, steamy sex, and the high production value that fans have come to expect from Axel Braun and Wicked Pictures, "Peter Pan XXX: An Axel Braun Parody" is an exciting, exhilarating, unforgettable erotic adventure!

(Runtime - 1 hr. 59 mins.)
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In the film, PETER PAN XXX: AN AXEL BRAUN PARODY, we find the character of "Wendy Darling" all grown up, and living a sad existence in London.  Wendy, now Wendy Moncrief, is married to a brash, and controlling husband(Steven St. Croix), who really brings her down.  Wendy is often depressed and has dreams of her past as a child - a time in which she and her brothers, met a special boy, from a magical place known as "Neverland".  It is a memory, in which her husband calls "make believe", but is a memory she will cherish forever.  She wishes that somehow, and someday, she might once again return to "Neverland", a place where it's ok to never grow up.  Things basically commence when Wendy wishes out loud, and on this night, she is heard by one "Peter Pan", the aforementioned, "special boy".  However, he has returned to Wendy all these years later in a state of emergency.  As it turns out, Pan's trusty companion, a small fairy named "Tinker Bell("Tink, for short), has been unexpectedly kidnapped by Pan's arch-nemesis one, Captain James Hook(also St. Croix), and he has come to ask for Wendy's help in rescuing her.  Initially, Wendy is very much settled into her Adult ways, and her marriage commitment, but eventually, Peter is able to convince her to fly with him to "Neverland", after the two engage in a little sex.  It is from there that the two return to the magical land, where they not only encounter the situation regarding Tinker Bell's capture, but also various sexual acts as well.  All of which include Tinker Bell and Hook, 2 lovely mermaids, a pair of lost boys(who are now men), and a dirty old henchmen.  In the end however, the search and rescue of "Tinker Bell" ends with an epic showdown of iconic rivals, as Peter Pan, squares off against Captain Hook.