Movie Review: UnSEXpected (Blu-ray, Digital Playground)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Director: Robbie D

Company: Digital Playground

“UnSEXpected” is a new production from the folks over at digitalplayground.com. The film stars Andy San Dimas, Brooklyn Lee, Sabrina Taylor, Stoya, Erik Everhard, James Deen, and Manuel Ferrara . An all-star cast of the adult film industry if there ever was one.

Stoya stars as a girl who appears innocent to her sister and friends, but is truly a sexual tsunami in the sack. The secret is revealed only to the men who by chance have an intimate encounter with the beauty.

Yep that's the plot, don't we don't watch porno's or “adult entertainment” for the plot now do we? Now this is a tough nut to crack (no pun intended) but I'll give this review my best shot by breaking it into scenes.

Movie Review: Bloody Christmas (2012)

Directed by Michael Shershenovich
Starring Steve Montague, Robert Youngren and Robert Arensen
Run Time: 91 minutes
Rated: Unrated

In a small town, police are on the hunt for a child murderer. Meanwhile, has-been 80‘s action star Rich Tague plays Santa Claus on a local public access TV show and secretly fantasizes about killing anyone and everyone who pisses him off. After losing his job and his motor-home in the same day, Rich (Santa Claus), decides its time to drown his sorrows in a bottle of bourbon which he buys with a bag full of pennies and contemplates his bleak future and the fact that the true spirit of Christmas has been lost to commercialism.

Movie Review: Hold Your Breath (2012, Blu-ray)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Hold Your Breath is Jared Cohn's latest blood bath of fun. Quick history lesson, HYB was the first Asylum film to receive a theatrical release and it got one for a reason. This is a kick ass film on all fronts. Notice I said film, not flick. Big difference between the two, a flick is a film you spend 90 minutes with and you soon forget it. A film is something you'll watch, appreciate and then re-watch and tell your friends about.

Phantasm II Hitting Blu-ray In March From Scream Factory!

- Audio Commentary with director/writer Don Coscarelli and actors Angus Scrimm and Reggie Banister

- “The Ball is Back!” Documentary – featuring new interviews with writer/director Don Coscarelli, actors Reggie Banister, Angus Scrimm, Paula Irvine, Samantha Phillips and more!

- Vintage Behind the Scenes footage: Makeup Effects

- Vintage Behind the Scenes footage: On the Set

- “The Gory Days with Greg Nicotero” Featurette

- Deleted Scenes from archival film elements from Don Coscarelli’s archive

Movie Review: Tai Chi Zero (2012, Blu-ray)

Reviewed by Rob Sibley

“Tai Chi: Zero” is a film I’ve been looking forward to checking out for sometime. The mixture of crazy wire-fu martial arts with steam punk sounded like a fun mash up of genre’s. Having watched the film, I can say the trailers marketed the film very well. What you see is what you get and in this case that’s a very good thing.

Directed by Stephen Fung mostly known as an actor for the fun Gen X cops or to a lesser extent Gen-Y cops, is a solid and accomplished director as well. Having helmed the over the top kung-fu comedy House of Fury. One does get the impression watching this though that Mr. Fung tries a bit to hard in the humor department. You can tell the man idolizes the work of the great Stephen Chow and I wouldn’t be surprised if Chow’s modern day classic “Kung Fu Hustle” played a bit of an inspiration on this bad boy.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #81 - Past, Present and Future

Kevin flies solo this week, and he talks about movies from different eras. He starts with his review of the Korean anthology Doomsday Book, veers into Mike Birbiglia's autobiographical Sleepwalk With Me and closes out with the classic Brian's Song.

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Contact Dr. Alan Szagesh (616) 974-9922

Movie Review: The Hellcats (1968, Cheezy Flicks)

Directed by Robert Slatzer

Starring Ross Hagen, Dee Duffy and Sharyn Kinzie
Run Time: 90 minutes
Rated: R

When an undercover narcotics agent is killed by a mafia boss’s hitman, his brother, a battle weary Vietnam veteran, and the dead agents grieving girlfriend decide to avenge his death by going undercover to infiltrate a biker gang known as The Hellcats. The Hellcats happen to be employed by said mafia boss as drug runners and Monte, (Ross Hagen) don’s his riding leathers and does his best bad-boy impersonation to gain favor in the gang.  Once he and Linda, (Dee Duffy) pass their initiation into the gang they are immersed in the seedy world of the biker gang lifestyle, doing all the fun stuff outlaw bikers did back in the 60‘s... like drinking Busch beer, smoking seedy, stemmy dirt weed, dropping acid and killing each other for no apparent reason. Let the good times roll! After the party comes to a screeching halt due to a drug deal gone bad, Linda is kidnapped by the mafia boss and its up to Monte to save not only her but his new friends, The Hellcats, from certain death.

Movie Review: Our Man Flint (Blu-ray)

Looking back at film history, it seems that so many of the most influential films in the super spy sub-genre graced the silver screen in the 1960’s. The decade is arguably the peak for these types of movies - with that said, they are still a blast now to watch. The James Bond films had the biggest impact which helped in turn bring about rip-offs from Europe and even some enjoyable franchises in their own right like the Matt Helm series (The Silencers, The Ambusher’s and Murderers’ Row) and the less goofy but delightfully entertaining Derek Flint films, Our Man Flint and In Like Flint. Daniel Mann’s Our Man Flint makes its Blu-ray debut courtesy of Twilight Time in a brand-new release decked with all kinds of extra goodies.

Derek Flint (James Coburn, Cross of Iron and Major Dundee) is a super agent who really doesn’t need to be a super agent – the guys loaded. He also has zero trouble with the ladies enjoying his own “me” time meditating between two chairs. Flint isn't doesn't have as much an obligation as say James Bond but when his boss calls onto him to save the world from a diabolical chaos-creating group called Galaxy, Flint is summoned away from his carefree life to do his duty.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #80 - Hail to the Chiefs

In honor of inauguration day, Dave and Kevin share their favorite fictional movie presidents. Jeff chimes in a little later to talk about the latest concert film from Andrew "Dice" Clay. Yep, he's still at it, and Jeff likes what he sees.

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Movie Review: Snow Shark (2011)

Review By: Rob Sibley

“Snow Shark”... were should I begin? Let's start off by saying I love two things more then life itself. Coffee & cigarettes... whoops I mean shark movies and no budget films. Well Snow Shark is a shark movie and it definitely was shot for no money.

For me the lower the budget of a film is the more I like it. I can appreciate C-grade acting, shoddy editing, dim photography, zero production design and low grade digital cinema. Snow shark possesses all of those qualities and then some. 

Movie Review: The Blue Lagoon (1980, Blu-ray, Twilight Time)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Twilight Time has brought “The Blue Lagoon” to Blu-ray for the first time and it's a sight to behold. The release is limited to 3000 copies so if your a fan of this picture be sure to obtain a copy ASAP.

Let me start off by saying I am a huge fan of this film. As much as I love a good ultra violent action or horror film I have a soft spot for the lighter side of cinema. I remember staying up till 1 in the morning when I was a kid to see “The Blue Lagoon”. All my friends at school were talking about it. Take in mind when I was 5 years old the film was already 15 years old. But boy o boy was it an event. Everyone in my class was staying up to catch this film.

Cult Epics Brings Their Shocker "Pig" And More To Blu-ray!

WHY GOD PERMITS EVIL

‘PIG/1334”

PREMIERES on BLU RAY/DVD Combo: January 29th, 2013

Los Angeles, CA (January 2013.) In 1998 a 16mm experimental film was made, which became the inspiration of a new genre: torture film. PIG involves graphic violence with no use of special effects. PIG, about a killer and his victim, was the last project of Rozz Williams (formerly known of the rock group Christian Death) who committed suicide April 1, 1998 a month after the completion of the film. 13 Years later a follow up was made: 1334, an underground ghost story inspired on true occurrences following the death of Rozz Williams and the making of PIG. PIG stars (among James Hollan,) Rozz Williams who also created the score. 1334 contains a never before released soundtrack by Rozz Williams and the actor/musician Dante White Aliano, the film also stars Bill Oberst Jr. Both films were made by Nico B, the founder of Cult Epics.

Movie Review: Officer Down (2013)

Review By: Rob Sibley

“Officer Down” looks like your typical direct to DVD cop thriller, this is only partially true. The script is ho-hum, it has been there, done that written all over it right down to it's sloppy cover art. But what elevates this flick above your normal cops and crooks pot boiler is the excellent cast.

Headlining the flick is the always fun and intense Stephen Dorff who plays Det. David 'Cal' Callahan. Yes you read that right, obviously the writer was a Don Siegal/Clint Eastwood fan. Well Mr. Callahan is going through a rough patch. He's pulling a Max Payne big time, popping pills and drinking like a fish like any good troubled movie cop should.

Movie Review: Inside John Lennon (2003)

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

How can you properly do a biography on one of the 20th Century's most complex artists in the space of 46 minutes, with a handful of talking heads interviews, grotty newsreel footage everyone has seen a million times and without the money to play any of his timeless compositions? The answer: You can't. Inside John Lennon is a right bloody rubbish documentary lacking the wherewithal to do its subject justice. Reminiscent of cable TV's E! Documentaries, the paltry resources can't begin to map a highly significant time in popular culture, and does its subject no favors. The only value that Inside John Lennon may have are young people who have no idea that there was a thriving popular music long before Justin Bieber.

Cinema Head Cheese Crew 2012 Movie Favorites

For one of our end of the year podcasts, Jeff Dolniak, David Hayes, Kevin Moyers, Greg Goodsell and Rob Sibley all chimed in to give five of their favorite movies of the year. We figured it would be good idea to give our readers a full list of what we thought.

Kevin Moyers' List
5. Bullhead
4. Maximum Conviction
3. God Bless America
2. Juan of the Dead
1. Goon

Nikkatsu on Blu-ray?? Fairy in a Cage and more coming this March from Impulse Pictures!!

A double-knotted chalkboard-scratching double feature from the masterminds of Nikkatsu!

During World War II, the tyrannical Judge Murayama uses his military power to imprison and torture innocent people.  Suspected of helping an anti-government movement, the lovely Namiji Kikushima (Naomi Tani) is captured, along with a local kabuki actor.  Helpless and unable to escape, the two are subjected to a grueling series of tortures including rope bondage and physical assault.  As the Judge and his evil assistant Kayo revel in their perverse fetishes, a new military recruit they’ve hired may be the key to prisoners’ freedom.  He loves Namiji and will do what he can to help her, even if it means betrayal to organize an escape!

Impulse Pictures is proud to present FAIRY IN A CAGE, one of the most controversial films of 1970’s Japanese cinema, in a brand-new high-definition transfer taken from the original 35mm camera negative.

Movie Review: Seal Team Six: The Raid On Osama Bin Laden (2012)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Let's get this out of the way. This review could go one of two ways. I could attack the film for it's sloppy handling of real life events and the way the soldiers even carry there weapons is wrong. This is pretty much a Call of Duty film come to life but that's not a compliment. So much information is available on Seal Team Six and the raid on Osama that I cannot forgive the filmmakers for messing up. If this film was a work of pure fiction I'd forgive... but come on you have some A list talent on your roaster and hand them a script this clunky?

The other way this review could go is my own personal beliefs about the politics, which I prefer to keep to myself so let's just focus on the rights and the many many wrongs this film did. This review will written with “entertainment” in mind because trust me this is a film that is to fictional to take seriously. To see the real deal on what went down, see the much better “Zero Dark Thirty” a film that is nearly perfect on all levels.

Blood, Guts, Boobs and Boners! "The Walking Dead XXX" Is Coming Soon From Burning Angel!

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #79 - Socially Conscious

After seeing Django Unchained, Kevin decided to talk about good socially conscious films. You might be surprised at what Dave comes up with for his top five and his reasons why.

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Movie Review: Triad Wars (2008)

Directed by Dennis Law
Starring Sammo Hung Kam-Bo, Simon Yam and Niu Tien
Run Time: 117 minutes
Rated: R

In the midst of a violent gang war, a powerful Triad leader is faced with losing a grip on his power. As his empire slowly crumbles from within and his trust in those closest to him dwindles, violence escalates as the Triad starts clashing with other Triads among the Hong Kong community. Faced with his only option, he’ll resort to violent ways to regain his status and reclaim the respect of his Triad.

This was a movie that for me just seemed to bite off way more then it could chew. There was nothing about the story-line itself that was disagreeable, and in fact I have a hard time disliking any type of Asian gang-war movies. I mean, who doesn't like well choreographed blood soaked sword-fights? And all those hot Asian cuties who make their way into these kinds of films? And indeed, Triad Wars offers fairly decent doses of both of those things. So what's not to like?

Movie Review: The Lost Films of Herschell Gordon Lewis

When the word “lost” is used referring to the films of a very popular cult filmmaker come to mind people tend to listen. Some movies are just fine staying lost, but when those films are from the great Herschel Gordon Lewis (Blood Feast, 2000 Maniacs, and The Gore Gore Girls), good or bad, you just need to see what they’re about.  HG Lewis shot three sex films between 1969 and 1971 that fell completely off the radar – The Ecstasies of Women, Linda and Abilene and Black Love all under the pseudonyms of Mark Hansen and R.L Smith.  Thanks to some major digging in film vaults the movie archaeologists over at Vinegar Syndrome have unearthed all three films and remastered them for their debut release. The Lost Films of Herschell Gordon Lewis Blu-ray / DVD Combo is Vinegar Syndrome's launch title  Debuts are make or break for any new company but with H.G Lewis’ name attached to these creations it could be something enjoyable for fans of Lewis.

The first film on the Blu-ray (all chronological) is the 1969 sex comedy The Ecstasies of Women. Nearly half of “Ecstasies” takes place in a titty bar with numerous topless gals bouncing their massive areola in the background. A group of gentlemen sit at a table chatting with the various strippers. Their pal Harry (Walter Camp) is enjoying a bachelor party the boys are throwing for him. Stories are told by Walter that usually lead to him nailing a beautiful woman.

Movie Review: Basket Case III - The Progeny

Anyone who is a fan of truly bizarre cinema more than likely has checked out a film directed by Frank Henonlotter. Synapse Films has been one company to really put forth some fine releases of his films. Frankenhooker has seen a Blu-ray edition, Brain Damage was put out several years ago with all kinds of cool extras and Basket Case II made it's debut not long ago on DVD. It was only a matter of time that they got their hands on Henonlotter's second sequel and remastered it. Now all three films are available in the United States which should make admirers of wild story of Belial, Duane and all their gruesome hi-jinx cheer.

For those not versed in Basket Case lore, Duane Bradley (Kevin Van Hentenryck, Basket Case II and III)  is on the move through the grimy underbelly of New York City. Along with his mysterious basket case and a stack of cash, Bradley has everything he needs to live day to day in the Hotel Broslin. All the dregs living in the Hotel Broslin have their suspicions of Duane and what is exactly living in that wicker basket. It isn't long before Belial, Duane's Siamese twin brother is revealed to the audience in appropriately bloody manner. Belial's not quite as nice as Duane but he does share some common toward the medical staff that cut the brothers apart. Finding the doctor and nurse that "disfigured" these two siblings and exacting some good ol' vengeance is the goal for both. In Basket Case II the surroundings change for Belial and  Duane, but the results continue to be the same as they cause chaos in their Aunt Ruth's freak friendly mansion.

Movie Review: Nailbiter (2012)

Before I even start this review... I can safely say I've seen the face of the new man of horror cinema and his name his Patrick Rea. This man just oozes talent, I have seen a handful of his short films and was very impressed but I wasn't sure how this feature film “Nailbiter” would be.

Movie Review: The Demented (2013)

Fear is something that has been forgotten in the horror movie lately. It's a genre that decided that gore and nudity trumped all else. Every so often, I find something that can actually put me on edge and make me feel worried for the characters. I'm also very tired of the zombie genre. It's something that's becoming tired and awful. Even worse is the zombie-created-by-a-sickness realm. It's a dead horse (pun intended) that filmmakers are beating the hell out of. Some way, somehow, The Demented, like a corpse climbing from its shallow grave, manages to live in this world while keeping itself above the fray. Yes, it's a zombie via disease story that actually broke through the muck and into my shriveled little heart.

Interview: Director Jared Cohn

Interviewed by: Rob Sibley

Jared Cohn, the director of the amazingly awesome 12/12/12, who also made horror history with the first theatrically released Asylum horror flick, Hold Your Breath, was kind enough to take some time out of his busy schedule to do a fun little one-on-one interview. I will say this, to me Jared is one of the best working horror directors on the Indie scene.

Rob- Hey Jared, I want to thank you so much for doing this interview. I figured we'll mix it up a bit and just do more a casual chat then an interview. Is that cool with you?

JC- For sure, I'm a casual kind of guy. And I appreciate you having me on the show! James DePaolo was very cool to hook it up. Shout out to him and Wicked Channel.

The Second Annual Cheesies

Welcome, everyone, to the Second Annual edition of our awards for the past year in movies and more, which we like to call The Cheesies. Dave, Jeff and I thought about 2012 and decided to share our favorites. That being said, if reading is too much of a burden, feel free to listen to Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #78 - The Second Annual Cheesies. You'll hear all the same goodies over there. Congratulations to all of the well deserving winners. If you agree, disagree or think we're just insane, leave your comments below.

First off, let's get the crap out of the way. Should we call these the Moldy Cheesies? Maybe not.

Biggest Disappointment

Bane's Voice - The Dark Knight Rises

Biggest Waste of Money

The Disney 3D Re-releases

Worst Ben Stiller Impression

Andrew Pozza - Supernatural Activity

Worst Movies of the Year

Supernatural Activity, Mr. Bricks, Ozombie and Cole Younger and the Black Train

Now, on to the good stuff!

Movie Review: The Wild Geese (Blu-ray / DVD Combo)

More than 30 years before action superstar Sylvester Stallone corralled a bevy of top talent for his smash hit The Expendables, veteran director Andrew V. McLaglen (Chisum, The Sea Wolves) made his own film starring some of Britain's finest actors with his feature The Wild Geese. Severin Films has taken the action classic, remastered it and stacked it with extra features for their own American release that should please fans of balls-out mercenary mayhem.

Richard Burton leads the cast as Colonel Allen Faulkner, the leader of a group of "mature" mercenaries in the unforgiving surroundings of South Africa to track down a kidnapped president played by Wintson Ntshona (Dogs of War, Ghandi). After agreeing with millionaire Sir Edward Matherson (Stewart Granger, The Prisoner of Zenda), to gather a group of his hand-picked men (Roger Moore, Richard Harris, and Hardy Kruger), Faulkner quickly moves forward to prepare his men for the risky mission.

Movie Review: The Assassins (Blu-ray, 2012)

Reviewed By: Rob Sibley

“The Assassins” is the directional debut of Linshan Zhao, starring Chow Yun Fat. Now before you get all excited this isn't a bullet ballet film like “A Better Tomorrow ”, “The Killer” or “Hard Boiled”. The Assassins is a Chinese period piece, a costume drama if you will. Set during The Three Kingdoms era of China. Quick note, if your interested in this time period be sure to check out John Woo's “Red Cliff” films and Daniel Lee's “Resurrection of the dragon”.

In The Assassins, Chow plays real life General Cao Cao ruler of Wu Kingdom. The title itself refers to a group of lovers played by the stunning Liu Yifei (White Vengeance) and Hiroshi Tamaki (Midnight Eagle). They play the lover assassins very well and you can tell from the very start that their relationship is doomed. With Tamaki being a eunuch and Yifei playing a concubine. Their story is truly an emotional one.

Movie Review: Lost Horizon (1973, Blu-ray)

Review by- Rob Sibley

Musicals are hit or miss with me, sometimes I dig em... other times not so much. So I was pretty damn curious when I popped in the Twilight Time Blu-ray release of 1973's “Lost Horizon”. Before seeing the film I already knew that it was a massive failure for the studio and was pretty much a joke in Hollywood. I can happily say I enjoyed this wonderfully inept musical. Yes, it's a bad film but with a lot of good stuff in it. 

LH is a musical remake of the classic 1937 Frank Kapra film which starred Ronald Colman and Jane Wyatt. That film by all means is a masterpiece of it's time and still holds up to this day. Sadly the musical remake of which I'm reviewing didn't have the talented Kapra involved. But they did bring in a heavy weight to do the music and it was none other then the legendary Burt Bacharah. On top of that you have the acting... well singing talents of Peter Finch, Liv Ullman, Sall Kellerman, George Kennedy, Olivia Hussey, Michael Yorke, Bobby Van and last but certainly not least the late great British thesp John Gielgud.

Movie Review: They Live (Blu-ray/DVD Combo)

Reviewed By: Rob Sibley

“They Live” will always be one of my favorite John Carpenter films. Shot back in 1988 and starring the almighty Roddy Piper. Shot on a shoe-string budget of 4 million dollars, John Carpenter is able to make every single dollar appear on screen. At first what appears to be a rather screwball concept, a drifter (Piper) wonders into town looking for work. He's a blue collar dude, not a super hero, he's an everyman, a man we can root for. Well it doesn't take long for Piper to figure out somethings going on...

He grabs a pair of shades (Ray Bans no less) and when he puts them on, he sees he's surrounded by aliens and alien propaganda. That's where the film gets really interesting. Now I know if your reading this review, you've seen and love “They Live”. So I don't need to convince you that it's an excellent film. But I won't spoil certain plot points because I'm sure there is still a younger audience out there who love John Carpenter but who haven't seen this film yet.

Movie Review: Strippers vs. Werewolves (2012, Blu-ray)

Directed by Jonathan Glendening

Starring Robert Englund, Lysette Anthony and Lucy Pinder
Run Time: 93 minutes

A private dance at a strip joint gets dicey when an aroused patron begins turning into a werewolf and the panicked stripper is forced to kill him with a silver pen in the eye.  When word of the murder gets back to the werewolves fellow gang members they decide to take out their revenge on the owners and dancers at the Silverdollas strip club. Things get further complicated when one of the werewolves realizes his girlfriend happens to be one of the strippers who is now on his gangs menu for the night. Its then up to the group of air-headed floozies to fight off the fanged fiends and save the club before becoming their next meal.

First, let's get to what was good about this blu-ray.

Movie Review: Creep Van (2012)

Reviewed by: Rob Sibley

Jigsaw drives a van... in a film called “Creep Van”. No it's not Jigsaw, but a fella who has his ride rigged up with various devices of death. The Creep is played by Mike Butler who enjoys riding around picking up hitchhikers consisting of bikers, a beach babe and anyone stupid enough to wanna jack a rusted old van.

The “hero” if you want to call him that of the film is Campbell (Brian Kolodziej) who's pretty much a slacker who gets a job working at a car wash so he can buy a car. The car or in this case van he's interested in purchasing just so happens to be the “Creeps” van. I wish I could say there was more to the movie then this but their really isn't. Campbell is given a love interest in the form of Amy (Amy Wehrell). Sadly they share pretty much zero chemistry despite both actors trying their hardest.

Movie Review: I Heart Monster Movies (2012)

Reviewed by: Rob Sibley

“I Heart Monster Movies” is a seventy five minute documentary which is a true love letter to the horror genre and culture. Let's start off, before I popped the DVD into my player I quickly read the synopsis and took a look at the images on the back cover. On the back cover is Sid Haig, Tom Savini and other horror greats. So I figured “Oh boy, seventy five minutes of stories I've heard before.” Well I was wrong... despite the short running time they pack a lot of great stuff into this documentary. Now if you're reading this, you are a horror fan. So you know that we horror fans have a bad rap with the “mainstream”. Not always, since horror these days is big business. Back in the day, films like Hostel and The Saw series would have played at the drive-ins and would have gotten slapped with NC-17's. Now  torture is mainstream and people pay a lot to watch it. Why? That's another discussion for another time.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #78 - The Second Annual Cheesies

Kevin, Jeff and Dave hand out 2012's coveted Cheesies to the best in movies and entertainment for the year. They bring back Rookie of the Year, Most Cringe-Worthy Kill and more while adding a few new awards. they also introduce the 2012 Cinema Head Cheese Hall of Fame inductee.

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This episode is sponsored by the following:

Best of 2012: Blu-ray and DVD

2012 was yet another banner year genre flicks on DVD and Blu-Ray. In the list below you get a little Hammer, a Raro rarity, a micro-budget surprise, a flock of Geese doing some ass-kicking on Blu-ray, a Bible camp that flows in the red stuff and some dandy Asian films among this list of must-have Blu-rays. Even the Silver Shamrock makes it's debut in High-Def. Grab these releases if you haven't yet! Happy New Year!! 

The Night Of The Devils  (Blu-ray, Raro Video)