Reviewed By: Hal Astel
Oh my goodness Blood
Rage was bad, and I don't just mean bad I mean really truly beyond all reason
bad. This now occupies the dubious position of 'Worst Film of the 1980s' in my
ratings and it may just stay there for a long while. Everything about it is
bad: the direction, the writing, the dialogue, the acting, the concept, you
name it. And for a film in which almost all the female characters get naked to
be this bad is almost unheard of. The best part of it is a short appearance by
Ted Raimi as a condom salesman and it's over in about five seconds. He's
outcredited by a baby.
The lead character Maddy
is a mother of twins and we start the film with her cuddling and kissing with
her boyfriend in a car parked at the drive through. The twins wake up and sneak
out of the car but one of them, Terry, is rather unhappy about what his mum is
getting up to, so kills a rutting couple in another car with an axe and blames
his brother Todd. Yes, the axe is just hanging around somewhere. No, his
brother doesn't say anything to contradict Terry's statement. No, nobody
notices that Terry is covered in blood and Todd just has some on his cheek.
It's all taken as read and off Todd goes to the looney bin.
Ten years later and
Maddy announces that she's going to get married again. Terry isn't happy and is
able to hack and slash his way through it given the convenient coincidence of
Todd escaping from the asylum. Coincidences are everywhere in this movie and
the lead character seems to be one of them. Maddy is played by Louise Lasser of
Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman and I'm not convinced that she really knew there was
a film being made.
It's like she
sleepwalked through it and spoke a few words here and there. She looks
stunningly awful, like one of those billboards warning against meth addiction,
and she acts as if she was drugged out on something. She only seems to be in
the film for about ten minutes, has very little interaction with anyone and
doesn't seem to be on the same conversations even when she is. Worst of all
there are a bunch of small scenes of Maddy walking around a corner, Maddy
leaning against a wall looking zoned, Maddy answering the phone, Maddy doing
nothing whatsoever. It's all very confusing.
The rest of the cast are
mostly young actors and while they're not quite as bad as Lasser they're really
not good. Mark Soper is the Todd/Terry double act and while he's not too bad as
Todd he's awful as Terry. He struts around like he's the best thing since
sliced bread but can't do anything. When a gorgeous young slut half strips and
wants him he can't reciprocate and has to watch TV, yet when he's alone with
his girlfriend he attempts to rape her and fails at that too. He's like the guy
who can do anything who can't do anything and how much sense does that make?
His dialogue is truly scary, as he keeps repeating lines like 'That's not
cranberry sauce' as if practicing them. Was I watching a film or a rehearsal
tape?
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