Movie Review: "House of Forbidden Secrets" (2013; Extreme Entertainment/Unearthed Films)

(…might wanna kick your feet up, an’ stay a spell…this one’s gonna be a mutha’, to wade through…but well worth the read, you can be sure…)

…ahem!! More than often enough, in reviewing genre films…especially those which engage even the quickest ‘wink-wink’ moments of nostalgia and throwback…this reviewer genuinely wishes that he had a deftly installed switch in the back of his head…an ‘on/off’ switch, which would ably disconnect the genre film geek part of his brain…yes, that dark, damp and cobwebbed corner of the mind that’s stuffed to the gills with even the most obscure trivia information about the countless cult & genre films he’s watched, and all the equally obscure settings, dialogue, storylines, actors, and characters played by those actors. That way, when an inspired filmmaker feels the necessity to exude those aforementioned ‘moments of nostalgia’ in a film…maybe perhaps dwelling on them more than need be…this ‘fright film fan’ could instead concentrate on the virtues and greatness of the film itself, and not be distracted by the cute little, chuckle-inducing ‘hey, isn’t that…??’ elbow nudges to the rib cage, which for all intent and purpose, at the very worst, might have been put there to merely help ‘sell’ the film…

…hey don’t get (me) wrong…I do appreciate those moments…but again, sometimes they tend to distract, and even take away from the overall mood and atmosphere of a film, depending upon the film…those ‘hey, lookie here!!’ moments, which often enough, prove ill-used, and invariably become wasted opportunities…

…OK, now hold that thought, at least for a moment…leave it simmer on the back burner…we’ll get back to it, soon enough, ‘kay??...

…uh, setting the way-back machine to circa late ‘80’s, who out there remembers flipping through the latest issue of Fangoria, or for the more maverick rag readers, the pages of Psychotronic Video?? Flipping past the mainstream articles, and scrutinizing those back pages of barely readable, 18-word classified ads, or on the rare occasion, those big ol’ colorfully splashy (…read ‘dripping with shades of heavy crimson, and slime green’) full page ads, offering…for an ‘eh’ moderate price…some of the most outrageous, albeit irresistible movie titles on good ol’ VHS tape, unheard of anywhere?? Anyone uncontrollably salivate over the deliciously icky and gruesome prospects of titles like “The Bloody Video Horror That Made Me Puke on My Aunt Gertrude”?? Remember “Bloodthirsty Cannibal Demons”?? “Sorority Babes in the Dance-a-thon of Death”, anyone?? How about “Robot Ninja”, huh?? “The Dead Next Door”?? And leave us not forget the insane and outrageous likes of “Prehistoric Bimbos in Armageddon City”, “Skinned Alive”, “I Spit on Your Corpse, I Piss on Your Grave”, and “Chickboxer”. Lucky for us insatiable gorehounds at the time…all the aforementioned and countless more, proudly & shamelessly ground out and put out there by underground distributors, like E.I. Entertainment, Suburban Tempe, SRS Video, and Video Outlaw…

…and ‘ground out’ is probably the more astute and poignant description, as just thinking back on these deliciously rendered gore-fests, this reviewer cannot help but recall dear ol’ Mom’s rusty, cast iron meat grinder, clamped to the kitchen cutting board, and grinding out that pick, fleshy-colored bologna spread sandwich meat, peppered with…well, bits of red pepper. Hey, as the old saying goes, ‘…meat is meat, and a man’s gotta eat’; the same can be said, as far as us appreciative, no-budget, shot-on-home-video movie gorehounds, especially during the late ‘80’s and early ‘90’s…we, who would often snub our noses at the latest generic, cookie-cutter, assembly-line, big-screen mainstream horror flicks…bland, and relatively bloodless (…ah, golly gee whiz…not another Freddy or Jason flick)... that is, as compared to these wonderfully depraved, over-the-top, gore-slicked underground renegade cinema cheapies…

…(…uh, to the point, ‘frightfilmfan’…to the point!!)

…during that time, skilled, inspired and able bodied maverick filmmakers like J.R. Bookwalter, Donald Farmer, Mike Stanley, Joe Castro, and David DeCouteau were stamping out delectable chunks of micro-budgeted cinema…long on story concepts, and short on production values & special effects, even though these latter minimizing and economical attributes were often times part of the ‘charm’ of these films. And proudly, or perhaps shamelessly standing tall above the rest…daring to dethrone the likes of George Romero, Herschel Gordon Lewis…even the ‘godfather of gore’ himself, Lucio Fulci…there was the ultimate, grand pooh-bah master gore-meister of cheap horror cinema, amongst the hallowed motley crew of independent filmmakers listed above...you guessed it, folks…Mr. Todd Sheets…

…what interesting about Todd’s body of work (…leaving the vast filmography to you readers…that’s what IMDB is for, right??), especially his earlier stuff…say, the window between the mid ‘80’s, and just short of the millennial turn…is that, for the most part, it seems his approach to the horror genre was actually not all that far removed from that of classic ‘70’s porno films, in the sense that, instead of lingering explicit sex scenes, the lingering focus was on the economically rendered, albeit quite splashy gore effects…which, for us die-hard gore fans at the time…hey, there was aba’solu’bly nuttin’ wrong wit’ dat’!! And like those classic ‘70’s pornos, which entertained and lightened things up with an engaging storyline to thread together the enticing and explicit ‘bump ‘n’ grind’ moments…Todd’s no-budget horror flicks gave us similar ‘breather’ moments as well, unravelling some pretty damn cool story ideas, and even often times mixing up the genres, a bit…

…zombies (…especially)…and vampires…and demons…and werewolves…oh, my…and every other supernatural entity under the sun…nary a genre was left untouched by Todd, but what made things more intriguing, storywise…that is, once you gleefully squeegee-slicked the gore from your eyeballs, and look past the basics…was that he would throw in an unexpected ‘wrench in the works’, to shake things up…a little government/military conspiracy, perhaps…some feral/survivalist street gang interaction, to be sure…a smidgen of drug-induced DNA cross-breeding, shall we. How about embracing a bit ‘o’ time travel, for good measure?? And the eyeball-rolling, chuckle-inducing nods to other films, both within the pronounced genre, as well as outside the genre…well, those are exhausting and countless, in Todd’s brand of filmworks…

…(…uh, just where the hell are you going with this, Beutler…sigh??)…

…OK, for the most part, the varied acting in Todd’s films was sub-standard…sometimes even less than that…and the overall production values were bottom-of-the-barrel…but hey, this was all forgivable, negligible, and all part of the charm, amidst this particular brand of renegade cinema from filmmakers like Todd…the whole of which clearly looked like it was approached that way…in rampant, unlicensed, renegade, maverick, guerrilla fashion…hey, just get the shot, and run like hell. And for us devoted fans…well, did we care?? Oh, hell no!! Just liberally splash us with the gore, Niagara Falls style, and we’ll shower later, ‘kay??...

…but then…hey, people have to grow up, sometime…right?? Point in case…

…Jacob Hunt probably can’t help but letting loose an inner sigh of relief; trying to get his life back on the straight path, he finally gets past the job application approval process, and meets with the building superintendent of the Shadow View Towers, a converted commercial office building, where he would dutifully assume the post of night security. Soon after having been given the cook’s tour by the building’s maintenance attendant, Jacob is introduced to some of the evening’s remaining tower’s office residents, which at that time, was restricted to a small group of people, preparing to conduct a séance, for the purpose of contacting a departed relative…

…despite being creepily put off by the intended arcane proceedings, Jacob is nonetheless talked into participating in the séance by Cassie and Hannah…the two attractive, albeit darkly garbed hosts of the group, who are leading the gathering through the séance proceedings…a group which included a local television crew, assigned to cover a televised story on Cassie and Hannah’s unique and arcane business activities…

…when, during the séance, sudden unnatural and unexplained phenomenon take place in the ensuing proceedings, it becomes clear to everyone…especially Jacob…that the expectations of the séance clearly took a sharp turn towards something more sinister, and that the supernatural happenings gave cause for the event to be shut down. After having escorted certain members of the session to their vehicles, Jacob returns to his duties…only to find that the night’s attending residents of the building, not to mention witnesses to the séance, having disappeared, one by one…only to be later found, either brutally slaughtered and disemboweled, or sauntering silently in the darkness, in a menacing, zombified state…

…quickly, and with fearful desperation…coordinating with Cassie, and checking video surveillance footage, in an effort to find out what could possibly be going wrong, Jacob finds himself right smack in the middle of unearthly evil and sinister forces taking place; an ethereal door, separating reality from a dark and hellish nightmare fantasy, appears to have been opened, unleashing a cadre of demons, bent upon enacting a decades-old vengeance from beyond the grave…and at the center of this seemingly indomitable whirlpool of evil incarnate and gore-drenched death…the ghost of a corrupt and revenge-driven priest, as well as the unveiled sinister history of Shadow View Towers, as it once was, decades before…

…now, being an eagerly awaiting and devoted fan of Todd Sheets, recalling as far back as his early filmmaking days, this reviewer was understandably put off at having not seen anything from the guy, after the turn of the century, thinking that perhaps he’d taken early retirement, or had just given up filmmaking altogether; later, it was suggested and confirmed that his hiatus from filmmaking was, for the most part, due to near-fatal health reasons. Regardless, as the old saying goes, ‘absence does make the heart grow fonder’, and news of the pending ‘House of Forbidden Secrets’ production, with Todd back at the helm (…with this review of “House…” herein, being five years or so tardy, as Todd has since gone on to even bigger and greater acclaimed productions, like 2016’s “Dreaming Purple Neon”, 2017’s well-received werewolf flick, “Bonehill Road”, and as of this review, he’s just putting the finishing touches on his much-anticipated entry in the ‘killer clown’ sub-genre, called “Clownado”) was quite literally deemed a gift to his fans. And a ‘gift’ it was, as “House of Forbidden Secrets”, up to that time, proved not only one of Todd’s best films to date, but one of his most accomplished, and most mature…

…with the film lovingly and respectfully dedicated to the late, great Lucio Fulci, Todd’s visual approach to “House…” was not only an inspired and brilliant marriage between his own unique style and Fulci’s, but overall, the look of the film very nicely captures a good measure of the very essence of late ‘70’s/early ‘80’s Italian cinema, as a whole, and yet the film itself still manages to play out a distinct wardrobe of it’s own diverse and singular identity…being it’s own ‘animal’, so to speak…rather than assuming some kind of knock-off or copycat. Oh, those brilliantly cool and eerie color contrasts…the battered ‘ruins’ of a grave-like unearthly underground, obscured by modern-day contemporary structure…the sepia shaded flashbacks…the hollow, blacken-eyed living corpses, that just creepily stand there, heads bowed, bodies shifting slowly, disconcertingly left to right and back again (…that is of course, until once gets too close)…the inescapably grim conclusions…all that and more, proving quite clever, inspired and respectful nods towards classic Italian horror. And in further exuding and adding to that style and inspiration, viewers should note that that Todd actually managed to port the eerie and haunting musical talents of acclaimed composer Fabio Frizzi for the soundtrack of his film…Frizzi, who’s own contribution to the chillingly melodic sounds of classic Italian horror cinema, to this day, remains but one music-masterful yardstick, by which many others are still measured…in effect, a great collaboration…

…and yet, surprisingly enough, the one Fulci-inspired element which…even as far back as many of Todd’s early visceral and graphic efforts…it appears that herein, he seems to have held back a certain measure...but not too much...is the gore effects. Not that there aren’t any effective and startling special effects moments in “House of Forbidden Secrets”…no siree, Bob!! (…a chorkle here, for those who get it!!). Why, there’s entrail-stringing body-halvings, and face-rippings and decapitations a-plenty here, amongst other icky moments of gore-dripping mayhem…hey, don’t think for a moment that ol’ Todd’s gotten soft. However, unlike much of his earlier work, for the most part, he doesn’t overly dwell upon these moments, this time; though quite striking and unnerving, the effects in “House…” seem more restrained, in favor of letting the overall style, story and performances assume equal, if not prominent interest, intrigue and focus. And for a film like “House…”, this approach genuinely made for a much better film…

…as far as ‘performances’, the standouts in this lil’ bitty horror excursion…we have Antwoine Steele…a regular in Todd Sheets’ film repertoire…as our hapless security guard, Jacob, who…well, he’s the one for us to relate to, in a sense…cautious, but curious…and probably just naïve, vulnerable and willing enough to stick the big toe out there, to test the waters…but perhaps not quite savvy enough to back the truck up, when the shit really hits the fan. And there’s Nicole Santorella, as the darkly attractive psychic medium, Cassie…the single mother, with a sort of shoulder-shrugging attitude of ‘…eh, it’s a living’ attitude, as far as her chosen and rather unconventional vocation…and who in having found herself the convenient, albeit inadvertent channel for releasing the evil forces that plague the tower residents, fearfully finds herself alternately repelled at the ghastly proceedings that ensue, yet also compelled and irresistibly drawn into the phenomenon…

…for a Todd Sheets’ film, a good part of the supporting cast will illicit some genuine surprise, delight…and in some regrettable instances…well, let’s just say unnecessary distraction from the gripping atmospheric chills that “House…” has to offer. Genre favorite Lew Temple (…last best seen as Psycho-Head, in Rob Zombie’s “31”) is onboard here, as our less than virtuous albeit blood-thirsty & vengeful  priest, Elias, who is responsible for kicking things into high gear, as far as the unspeakable horrors that unfold. George Hardy is unmistakenly spot-worthy (…and “Troll 2” has way too infamous a reputation, for ol’ George not to be recognized here) as Bruce, the building superintendent…even going so far as to spout a famous movie line of his. Ari Lehman (…yes, that’s right…lil’ dinghy-tipping Jason himself, from the original ‘Friday the 13^th’) clocks in for a quick cameo, and then…gone…WHOOSH!! Actress Dyanne Thorne…ultra-rarely seen since her ‘70’s exploitation days as ‘Ilsa’, still manages to illicit a venomous air of alluring malevolence and villainy, as Greta, the madam of a covert house of ill-repute, which directly plays into the film’s macabre proceedings. And last, but not least…not to mention, managing to freakin’ break up the progressively intensifying intrigue and tension, abounding herein, a cameo by the riotous Lloyd Kaufman, as an alky-sloshed and ranting grandfather, here doing the ‘entertaining grandfather’ thing right, in babysitting his granddaughter…at least, ‘right’ in the eyes of us fright film fans…

…ya’ know?? Once again, in further noting and doting over Todd Sheets films, this reviewer feels that in his devotion and embrace of the horror film genre, part of what has greatly enriched his overall appreciation of the genre, is having taken Todd’s deliciously visceral films into that fold…and although, much like disco (…yes, yes...sigh...I was a minority of one, amongst my peers, in embracing disco, back in the day; we all have our faults, right??), one can watch Todd gore-drenched brand of films, only so long…though, admittedly, again like disco, this fright film fan does blow the dust off Todd's blood-slicked lot, from time to time. The good thing about this…with regards to “House of Forbidden Secrets”, Todd has wonderfully achieved a freakin’ awesome balance between his visceral style, and his ability as a director to tell a story & create atmosphere. It’s a film that might well play best for those unfamiliar with Todd’s work, as well as those seeking out a great example of accomplished, albeit under-the-radar, independent horror cinema…that is, without getting one’s slickers too slick and saturated with the gooey stuff…

…for the more seasoned horror buffs…well OK, maybe the cameos and moments of nostalgia do take away from the scares, the atmosphere and the more gruelling moments in the film, a bit; that hardly explains why this fright film fan has…well, let’s just say that, despite how long the film has been available, I’ve watched it almost as many times as any Fulci flick...eh, go figure, right??...

...nope, ain't nuttin' ta' see here...nuttin' ta' see.....uh, WHAT?? Are you freakin' kidding me??

(NOTE: ...this review is primarily based upon the content of the original crowdfunded Blu-ray, issued back in 2013; with great reception and applause, the film has since been picked up by Unearthed Films)...

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