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January 29, 2012

Movie Review: Porkchop (2011)

Over the years the "Backwoods" horror subgenre have brought many a cult film fan some fine entertainment without having to pack up any camping gear or eat dogs and beans off a fire. Rituals and Just Before Dawn come to mind as being top-notch representations; we've also had no-budget SOV schlock like  Back Woods and Cannibal Campout that aren't quite the most polished but bring out their own unique charm. Eamon Hardiman's Porkchop is much like the latter.

Porkchop starts off with a bang with two screwing campers getting disposed of by the massive, 400 pound, pig-masked killer from the title. The male fornicator gets his head split in half in a gory but laughably unconvincing way, but before this dose of splatter we're treated to the female ripping her top off to expose some lovely fake boobs. After this very promising opening, Porkchop starts to introduce its cliché characters: a cheerleader, a British punk rocker bad boy, a nerd and possibly the most ridiculous (but humorous) character, a robot. The robot just happens to have a dick, too. The group venture off into the woods and go head to head with the monstrous killer. Things end badly for these folks. In the end, it doesn't really matter because all we're here to see is Porkchop do some slaughterin'.

The body count and nudity factor is definitely here so it's a lot easier to look past many of Porkchop's weaknesses: script, acting, and pacing issues (there's wayyyy too much driving). Alas, in all its silliness, Porkchop is enjoyable enough to watch with some friends if you have plenty of cheap booze and shots around. If you want serious art, steer clear.


  1. Fun review, Jeff! (Though the first place my mind went to when I saw the title was one of the contestants from RuPaul's Drag Race! The mind is a mysterious thing. ;)