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February 22, 2014

Movie Review: Phantom of the Grindhouse (2013; Independent Entertainment)

...yes, this viewer'll admit it!! He'll candidly admit that as an aspiring, freelance writer, and an ardent devotee of genre films, he's fantasized that one day, he'd be afforded the opportunity...whether it'd be a conveniently open-doored opportunity, or taking on the task himself, via blood, sweat & tears sacrifice, or perhaps a juxstapositioned financial windfall...to straddle a filmmaker's chair, try it on for size, and punch out a respectable celluloid-stripped production, wrought from the bowels of personal & heartfelt, albeit devil-may-care, 'throw-anything-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks', 'gonna-do-my-vision-no-matter-what' creativity...heck, if at the very least, to be able to stand back proudly, and...for good or for bad...say, "...hey, I did that...I did that...I did that!!" And this viewer's pretty sure that these were the very thoughts of filmmaker Chris Seaver, in his early days, when he envisioned outrageously rendered, WTF concepts, with colorful monikers like Mulva, Teen-Ape, the Filthy McNasty series, Sexsquatch and least we not forget about 'Blood Fart Lake'...uh, no siree-bob (...and yes, several of these are presently...er, or should I say 'shamelessly' gracing this viewer's film collection). Well, let it be said that CS is anything but inconsistent, especially with his latest off-the-wall outing...in title and basic premise, something which might invoke promising familiarity, nostalgia and intrigue, but in overall execution...the typically outrageous rubbish, one might expect from this filmmaker...the kind of crazed outrageousness, which one might find...well, admittedly amusing and funny, in a head-nodding '...jeez, I can't believe I'm watching this' kind of way...



...oh no!! Heavens to Betsy!! The powers that be are going to close and tear down the creaky and dilapidated old movie theater...a haven for the local, overly hyper-kinetic film nerds, including the theater's owner, who relishes a personal vanity, in showing her own micro-budget films...a mustachioed Weird Al Yankovic wannabee (Jaime Osborne), with a glassy-eyed penchant for magic...an obsessed devotee of the 'Back to the Future' movies (Chip Rockcastle), replent with a Michael J. Fox swagger, an orange jacket vest, and annoying verbage movie quotes...an 'oh my gawd' flavored, red-headed sexpot...a sexually deviant kiss-ass (Kate Lewis)...and last, but not least, there's Christine (Desiree Saetia)...the newbly of the bunch, who suggests that in effort to raise the fundage, to save the theater, they should put together a 24-hour 'grindhouse' movie marathon...


...of course, such plans hardly mesh with a mysterious spectre (Jason McCall), lurking in the shadows of the theater lofts...a melodically off-key spectre, adorned with a cape and left-over, Andrew Lloyd Webber 'Phantom' mask...with an inept Casio keyboard dexterity, not unlike that of vocalist Michael Score, of 'A Flock of Seagulls', in the "I Ran (So Far Away)" music video...looking like a cross between Little Richard and Fat Albert...and sounding like a garbled cross between Michael Jackson and Prince...even going as far as mimicking song lyrics. You see, folks...he just wants the theater venue to glorify his musical abilities, and thusly, does not subscribe to the suggested 'B' movie dreck, to be featured; and so, with ably sharpened utensils in hand, this 'phantom' proceeds to thwart the plans of the film nerds, by bloodily knocking them off, one by one...that is, of course, until he encounters Christine, whom he immediately becomes slobberingly obsessed with...


...now admittedly, I was a bit confused, yet more than a bit amused from the get-go, when things kicked into gear on this flick, as a siege of really cool faux 'grindhouse' trailers, bearing chuckle-inducing parodic titles, like "Something...", "I Was a Teenage Witch Hunter from Outer Space" and "Invasion of the Mud Spiders", opened these proceedings. Following the trailers, we are treated to the intro-meanderings of an 'o-o-o-o-o-o, sca-a-a-a-ary', albeit wacky horror movie host, who creepily barkers about the 'feature presentation' to come...


...fortunately, "Phantom of the Grindhouse" doesn't wear out it's welcome, with it's short running time, and that's a good thing, considering that the overall goofiness does run the gamut of getting too silly, towards the end. The proceedings herein do proceed at a rather frenetic pace, despite the occasions when the film shifts into 'musical' mode, and the storyline often becomes secondary and inexplicable, in favor of the daffy antics that ensue, by the equally daffy characters (...for instance, if this lingering 'phantom' is so put off by the proposed 24-hour shindig, where the heck has he been, when our hapless group of film nerds, meet at the theater, on their once-a-month gatherings, for the same purpose?). But then, this is filmmaker Chris Seaver's expected signature showcase of juggernaut craziness, silliness and insanity, which even the moments of phantom-induced bloodshed can hardly draw away from...


...in the end, one could clearly do much worse than this goofy irreverence of a film. The campy performances. The off-key vocal renderings. The off-the-wall characters. The goofy, albeit nostalgia-instilling Michael Jackson and Prince imitations. Yep, one could definitely do much worse; one may even get a good chuckle or two, out of this...as this viewer most assuredly did...but again, one might also might catch one's self, nodding one's head in sighing resignation, at each and every chuckle. After all, we of this preferred genre, are so easily entertained, ain't we??

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