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February 26, 2014

Movie Review: Sinister Visions (2013)

I didn’t realize this was an anthology flick until halfway through the second story. In my I’m just slow. Chemical Burn Entertainment brings you five short films covering a range of themes: zombies, revenge, crazy, and more. Four come from our Nordic friends (Denmark and Sweden) and one comes from the US with our very own David Hayes.

Emma is on a dig somewhere with lots of sand and rebels. After finding a sparkly egg, in a moment of panic she drops it, unleashing a dark smoke that takes up residence in her sinuses. This nasty little entity takes control of Emma’s body and does unspeakable things to any man she fancies - not in the sex way. Well, not all in the sexy way. And Emma can only watch from the bench.

My Undead Girlfriend
This begins with found footage recorded by the last known scientist left alive after an undead epidemic sweeps the country. Then there’s an ad for a company called Holdcare. Their business is to capture the undead and put them on a leash so you never have to worry about them. Okay
The story finally begins with a man whose fiancé wakes up a zombie. But he can’t kill her because once they are married, he’ll come into some money and that will go a long way in paying back the loan shark he owes. He just needs to fool her parents into thinking everything is still normal and the wedding can proceed.

Mother Knows Best
This one is basically a rehash of Psycho.

A Woman Scorned
Holly takes her former friend, Gayle, hostage after Gayle steals Holly’s husband, Rick. And Holly is all sorts of crazy.

Genital Genocide
As a convicted murderer sits in the electric chair, he retells his exploits to the family members of his victims as they await killing time. He is one sick fuck - not just for what he does to his victims but because he likes to hammer nails into his junk then masturbate. 

This movie was too long. The stories aren’t terribly original for the most part. The ‘found footage’ and commercial portion of the zombie story were, I think, supposed to be funny. They were not. It was with these that I became confused because the title for the second story didn’t pop up until after they played. I kept trying to figure out how zombies were connected to sexy spirits. They were not. Please plan better next time, movie people.

The acting is better than a lot of independent horror I’ve seen but not by a lot. I think Emma from Succubus was probably the best. I actually felt sorry for her at one point. When you can make me feel something, aside from boredom, I gotta like ya. I also loved the makeup job for her as the succubus.

The genital story had me gagging a bit. Not just for the exploitation factor but for having to witness David Hayes in a bra. Won’t be able to scrub that mental image away any time soon.

Not a great collection.

1 Hatchet (out of 5) for the exploding cock.

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