Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (Disney/Lucasfilm, 2017)

The latest in the Star Wars series has received mixed reviews, but Kevin Moyers tells all the haters why they (including Mark Hamill) are wrong in this spoiler-filled review. Happy Life Day!

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Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Disney, 2016)

Kevin, Dalyn, Mandy, Leah and Handsome J discuss the latest movie in the Star Wars series and their experience in the brand new Phoenix area Alamo Drafthouse.

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Movie Review: The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

Day three of the David Hayes Christmas Crap Review-a-Palooza and we’re cooking with gas! Hopefully someone leaves the burner on and lights a smoke so I can blow the hell up and not watch anymore of this garbage.

On the third day of Christmas the Head Cheese gave to me three ghostly visits that caused me, within my pants, to pee.

Last night I was visited by three ghosts. The first was the Ghost of Jedi Past and he showed me the glory of the original Star Wars trilogy and I marveled, like in my youth, to the adventures of Luke and Leia and that weird incestuous thing they had going on. Then, merely an hour later, I was visited by the Ghost of Jedi Present and he showed me the horrible, computer-generated filth that passed for films as George Lucas perverted his legacy, ably aided by Jake Lloyd, with the ‘new’ trilogy. As I lay awake in bed, shuddering from fright with the voice of Jar Jar shrilly echoing in my head, another ghost entered my bed chamber. Hunkering below the covers, only peeking out of cat-killing curiosity, I noticed that this ghost was smaller than the rest. And it limped. This ghost also had a hunchback and a wheezing cough that punctuated each step. Unafraid of this new ghost, I threw off my blanket and confronted it. This… thing announced itself to be The Ghost of Jedi A Little After Past. I laughed, mocking it and calling it Quasi-Ghosto. As the retarded little thing grabbed my hand, though, my laughter turned into a scream. You see, gentle reader, this malformed, raised in a basement, step-child of a ghost was taking me on the scariest adventure yet. It took me to The Star Wars Holiday Special.

Buy The Star Wars Holiday Special on DVD!

Movie Review: Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Luke Skywalker is missing and the First Order is looking to take over the galaxy in a way that the evil Galactic Empire never could.  The Resistance know they need Luke Skywalker to bring balance to the force as the Dark Side is clearly on the side of the First Order.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens is the seventh episode in the Star Wars cinematic saga.  Television, comic books, novels and more have attempted to continue the story of the tale but we, as an audience, are finally treated with a film.  JJ Abrams brings the fans of Star Wars the movie they deserve.

Action.  Good luck catching your breath during The Force Awakens as there is plenty of aerial combat, light saber battles, blasters and even a bit of fisticuffs.

New characters.  Our new bad guy is Kylo Ren(Adam Driver) and he wants to be every bit as bad as Darth Vader and the voice is awesome.  Domhall Gleeson and Andy Sirkis are added to the baddies as General Hux and Supreme Leader Snoke respectively.  Finn(John Boyega) is a Storm Trooper who is having a bit of an identity crisis and is a great addition.  Poe Dameron(Oscar Isaac) is the likable hot shot pilot.  Rey is played by Daisy Ridley who absolutely shines in Star Wars: The Force Awakens.  Rey and the newest droid, BB-8, are the true stars of this movie and truly make everything go.

Movie Review: "Jodorowsky's Dune" (2014; Sony Pictures Classics)

...say you have a standard; a set standard, once innovative and unique. A standard, which initially might have instilled a sense of 'wow', amongst the masses, and now, is wholly accepted as 'the norm'...maybe even to the point of yawn-inducing. Then, as the cliched phrase goes, "...just when you've thought that you've seen everything under the sun, along comes..."; an artist, known and reputed for outrageousness...an embraceable outrageousness, with a respectable following, mind you, but clearly, a level of imaginative 'over-the-top' craziness, with an underlining hint of wisdom...'thinking outside the box', as yet another cliched saying goes. And so, that artist takes that now.monotone standard, filters it through a different set of eyes, and suggests quite literally turning that standard on it's head...breathing new life into it, and yet, retaining the crust of what the standard stood for and meant...

...for this viewer, I love 'what if' scenarios. I became amoured with the 'what if' concept, at an early age, when the artistic and creative 'power-that-be', scribbling away at Marvel Comics, ingeniously came up with a unique and absolutely 'off-the-wall' comic book series, which took many of the super-powered hero standards...at a minimum, tweaked their histories...their mythos, here and there, and at most, quite literally shook the contents of the standard into a frenzied mish-mash...stood back, and gandered at what the outcome would be, storywise and direction, given the changes. As the result, some unique, creative...even bizarre and surreal ideas came to pass, and Marvel's "What If...??" series proved a phenomenal favorite, back in it's day...

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #79 - Socially Conscious

After seeing Django Unchained, Kevin decided to talk about good socially conscious films. You might be surprised at what Dave comes up with for his top five and his reasons why.

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Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #34 - Kids' Stuff

Jeff and Kevin are thrilled to finally have David Hayes on the show full time. They talk about Midwestern house troubles and the Star Wars blu-rays. Kevin and Jeff bring up some racism they noticed in a Disney classic. They also crap all over the Oscars.

Dave gets into iCarly, South of Heaven and Universal Monsters. Jeff shares his love for Octonauts and Undocumented. Kevin reviews the Tom Hardy biopic Bronson, 2001: A Space Odyssey and the first Comedy Central season of Futurama.

What directors would Dave and Jeff go gay for? Tune in to find out!

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Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #12 - The Weekly Grind

In their first weekly edition, Kevin Moyers and Jeff Dolniak talk about stepping up to a regular Tuesday schedule. They get into a slew of reviews including the unique and creative DeadGirl, the short film Once Upon a Time in 1972 and they each get into TV obsessions Mad Men and Spartacus.

They both share their aggravation with unnecessary remakes such as Straw Dogs, Total Recall and Fright Night. They also get into the lunacy that is George Lucas.

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From the Show: Buy Minty the Assassin, The Exterminator, The Burning Moon, Black Past, Star Wars, Executive Decision, New York Ripper or This Film is Not Yet Rated at Amazon.com

Hollywood Roadkill: Star Wars: The Lost Episodes

by David Hayes and Kevin Moyers

Long before we were punished with the world's worst prequel trilogy, rumors led us to believe that George Lucas was planning on making nine Star Wars films. Many assumed that since the first six episodes were made that numbers seven through nine would close out the series. We were all wrong. What follows are the three sequels that will never be filmed.

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Episode VII: A Wookie Home Companion

After the downtime that Chewbacca suffered through post-Return of the Jedi, he sought out future reality show guru, Mark Burnett, and put together a pilot for a Do It Yourself-type of show. Way ahead of his time, Chewbacca patterned his show, A Wookie Home Companion, after the highly-successful PBS outing, Old Yankee Workshop, fronted by the perennially flannel-clad, Jewish cobbler Norm Abrams. Although Chewbacca was very skilled, mostly from impromptu repairs on the Millenium Falcon, test audiences reacted poorly to his on-air persona. Each of the audience members felt that the information and handyman knowledge they received from Chewbacca was priceless, his constant howling and poor sportsmanship with guests. Court cases began to pile up as dismembered specialty workers, like Leon the Spanish Tile guy, sued for punitive damages after having his arms ripped off by the Home Companion's host. Apparently, he did not let the Wookie win. Rumor has it that Chewbacca only took the role in the disastrous third Star Wars prequel in order to pay the legal fees.