Movie Review: Knights of Badassdom (2013, Blu-ray)

I’ve never been into Dungeons and Dragons. I was never a gamer; I don’t own any hexagonal dice; I didn’t even read any fantasy novels until I was well into my 20s. But I adore going to the Renaissance Festival every year. Most times I even dress up. I love seeing people immerse themselves in any kind of experience from cosplay to LARPing. So if I enjoyed this flick, I can only imagine how much it speaks to those who take the role-playing/reenacting life more seriously than I ever have.

Knights of Badassdom stars Ryan Kwanten as Joe, a doom metal musician whose super hot girlfriend dumps him because she wants more from life. Joe’s friend and roommate, Eric (Steve Zahn), thinks he needs to get over it by joining him and their good friend, Hung (Peter Dinklage), in a Live Action Role Playing experience over the weekend. Joe reluctantly agrees.

During a LARPing ritual, Eric pulls out an ancient book and picks a random page from which to read. Unfortunately for everyone involved in this weekend’s happenings, the book is an authentic spell manual created by demons that were accidentally summoned by a monk back in the 1600s. Eric calls up a demon succubus that wreaks havoc upon the festival goers. Once they realize it’s not part of the game and that the world is in some serious shit, our band of merry pranksters must accept the terrifying truth and complete a real quest to vanquish the evil.

When I first saw ads and articles about this movie I got very excited. I love the idea of some everyday folks that play at Lord of the Rings are faced with real evil and must use their fake fighting skills to save the day. It didn’t hurt that Ryan Kwanten and Steve Zahn were two of the stars. And for the fellas (and Firefly fans) out there, Summer Glau plays Gwen who can kick some serious ass with her foam swords.

Movie Review: Sinister Visions (2013)

I didn’t realize this was an anthology flick until halfway through the second story. In my defense...no. I’m just slow. Chemical Burn Entertainment brings you five short films covering a range of themes: zombies, revenge, crazy, and more. Four come from our Nordic friends (Denmark and Sweden) and one comes from the US with our very own David Hayes.

Succubus

Emma is on a dig somewhere with lots of sand and rebels. After finding a sparkly egg, in a moment of panic she drops it, unleashing a dark smoke that takes up residence in her sinuses. This nasty little entity takes control of Emma’s body and does unspeakable things to any man she fancies - not in the sex way. Well, not all in the sexy way. And Emma can only watch from the bench.

My Undead Girlfriend

This begins with found footage recorded by the last known scientist left alive after an undead epidemic sweeps the country. Then there’s an ad for a company called Holdcare. Their business is to capture the undead and put them on a leash so you never have to worry about them. Okay…

The story finally begins with a man whose fiancé wakes up a zombie. But he can’t kill her because once they are married, he’ll come into some money and that will go a long way in paying back the loan shark he owes. He just needs to fool her parents into thinking everything is still normal and the wedding can proceed.