Movie Review: Don't Let the Riverbeast Get You! (2013)

Remember those cheesy monster movies from the 1950s where some guy runs around in a bad rubber suit, chomping on or kidnapping the local townsfolk? And one person who in the past was deemed a nutbar for believing in said creature but becomes a folk hero when he finally kills the beast and saves the town? Well, welcome to 1953 because this movie has all of that and everything those earlier movies never had but on purpose.

Don't Let The Riverbeast Get You (yes, that's the title) is a quaint little homage (gods, how I hate that word) to the Great Generation's legacy of radiated creatures, outer space monsters, and every other kind of beast of which the masses seemed to be so terrified. Neil Stuart is returning home, to River Town, after a three year absence. After claiming he saw a horrible riverbeast in the woods, the town ostracized him and his fiancé left him at the altar. So he abandoned his job of 'the world's best tutor' to get away from it all and just take some time for himself.

Hands Of The Ripper Debuts UNCUT On Blu-ray From Synapse Films!!

THE HAMMER RAISES AGAIN! JACK THE RIPPER LIVES!

HANDS OF THE RIPPER

Wrap your claws around this creepy Blu-ray/DVD combo!

Another landmark title in Synapse Films' Hammer Films Collection! Peter Sasdy's HANDS OF THE RIPPER!

An infant girl watches in horror as her father, the infamous “Jack the Ripper,” brutally murders her mother. Years later, the damaged young Anna (Angharad Rees) is now under the care of a fake psychic and has been forced into a career of prostitution.  At the end of a séance one evening, a woman is mysteriously killed. Dr. John Pritchard (Eric Porter) suspects Anna is the murderer but cannot understand how she could perform this unspeakable act.  Using new Freudian psychoanalysis techniques, Pritchard experiments on Anna and discovers a shocking secret: the spirit of the “Ripper” is alive and well, and might well be possessing his own daughter!  Can this evil be stopped before it’s too late?

Movie Review: Sexsquatch (2012)

I've got three words to start this movie review and they are three words I never would have predicted I would ever say: it's no Repligator.

But with names like Tobe Lerone, Spamuel L. Jackson, and PJ O'Pootertoot gracing the credits, how could it be anything but a let down?

Sexsquatch is a juvenile attempt at the horror/comedy/sexploitation film genre. Filmed entirely on location in New York (and by that I mean these guys got to use the entire backyard and 10 feet of lake behind someone's mom's house) Sexsquatch is the story of a giant hairy ape-man, named Stinkfist, from outer space who has come to earth on a bet that he can kill and rape more people and buttholes than his overlord.

Helping the Sexsquatch on his fascinating quest is Marmalade, the local homeless spaz, who talks her way out of being killed and raped (yes, that's the order Sexsquatch does it) by leading the not so gentle but surprisingly well spoken giant to a group of young people throwing a "Let's Help Joey Lose His Virginity" party. AKA a convenient gathering of disposable victims. Despite finding one friend disemboweled and violated, the group must party on. It's the best way to honor his memory. And it's the only way to keep them distracted long enough for Sexsquatch to have his way with them.

Will any of them survive? Will they be able to stop...

Movie Review: The Lords of Salem (2013)

Reviewed By: John Beutler

Admittedly, as most folks out there probably did, this reviewer went braced, readied, but still somewhat unsuspecting into this recent and eagerly awaited effort, by musician and filmmaker Rob Zombie...already having a great appreciation for his past rendered music and film productions, and yet, naively figuring that I was anticipated prepared and seasoned for whatever he might come up with next. Ah, yes...what was that old saying, about '...the best laid plans of mice and men"?? Ninety-plus minutes after having engaged the premiere of "The Lords of Salem", I caught myself sitting in the theater...five minutes after the screen went black, end credits having rolled...theater lights having come up...frozen in my seat...eyed widened...mouth agape...wondering, '...what the @#$% did I just see??

Speculating the need to afford myself an opportunity for a second viewing of the film, before committing my thoughts here, provided me the respite of clearing the head beforehand, as the film unswerving stayed with me for several days, thereafter...digesting...at some point, early on, I might have even said, 'infesting'. Having now viewed the film a second time, I have to say, without a doubt...Engagingly Pitch-Black Dark and Grim, albeit Irresistible and Unsettling. Grotesquely Beautiful. Nightmarishly Surreal. Disturbingly Twisted. All that one might naturally expect from Rob Zombie, but "The Lords of Salem" takes such expectations, carries them into a much higher level of chillingly disturbing dementia, and hits the unsuspecting viewer...even those well seasoned...with a flooring wallop, the intensity of a mind-numbing, ass-kicking shot-glass of Absinthe's Green Fairy...

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #94 - No Scrubs

Dave talks about a horror convention he attended in Detroit called Motor City Nightmares, which seems to have needed a little work.

He and Kevin also talk about Streamageddon, which pits the Warner Archives up against the mighty Netflix.

They get deep into the subject of Zach Braff's Kickstarter project and how it effects the landscape of crowd funding. Is it wrong for the rich and famous to go this route? The guys make some interesting points on the matter.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

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Movie Review: The Telephone Book (1971, Blu-ray / DVD Combo)

Seeking out hard-to-find cult gems has been a chore for a few films in particular on my wish-list over the past couple decades. When I've found them, it’s incredibly satisfying. Brian Trenchard-Smith's Stunt Rock and The Telephone Book are two titles that have seemed to evade me for the longest time. That is, until Stunt Rock got a release a few years ago on a special edition DVD. Now, in 2013, thanks to the folks at Vinegar Syndrome we have the Blu-ray / DVD combo release of Nelson Lyon’s rarely seen X-rated comedy The Telephone Book. Watching Stunt Rock upon its release on DVD, I liked what I saw in the Aussie obscurity, just wasn’t blown away by it. The Telephone Book is a completely different story.

Sarah Kennedy plays “Alice” the adorable and quirky lead of The Telephone Book. Alice receives a phone call one day that changes her life, a very, very dirty phone call from a man by the name of John Smith (Norman Rose). Is she repulsed by this perverted man spouting sexual language at her on the other end of the line? Unlike most people, who would just hang up, she listens and enjoys every minute. After the phone call, this horny young gal is determined to find John Smith, even if it means going through every John Smith in Manhattan.

FEARnet’s ‘REAPER’ REUNION SPECIAL AIRS TUESDAY, MAY 28, AT 9 PM ET, GIVING FANS AN EXCLUSIVE LOOK AT THE SERIES, FEATURING APPEARANCES BY RAY WISE, TYLER LABINE, BRET HARRISON, AND MORE!

Angie Greenup Hosts, with Additional Appearances by Ken Marino, Christine Willes, Rick Gonzalez and Series Creators Tara Butters and Michele Fazekas

 (SANTA MONICA, CA – APRIL 29, 2013) – FEARnet’s REAPER reunion special was shot on Wednesday, April 24, at the Medusa Lounge in Los Angeles. In attendance for the special—hosted by TV and web personality Angie Greenup—were series stars Ray Wise, Tyler Labine and Bret Harrison, as well as Rick Gonzalez, Ken Marino, Christine Willes and series creators Tara Butters and Michele Fazekas.

The reunion special will air on Tuesday, May 28, setting the stage for REAPER’s FEARnet debut on Tuesday, June 4, at 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. PT, as part of the Network’s Twisted Comedy block, which also features the FEARnet original half-hour comedy series HOLLISTON. Additionally, the special will be available for viewing on the FEARnet website starting Friday, May 31st, and VOD on Saturday, June 1st. It will air again on the Network on Tuesday, June 4, at 8:30 p.m. ET. FEARnet has licensed both seasons of the hour-long series, for a complete 31 episode order.

"Motel Hell" Butchers It's Way To Blu-ray May 13th From Arrow Films!

Arrow Video are pleased to announce the long-awaited UK Blu-ray & DVD release of Kevin Connor’s horror-comedy masterpiece MOTEL HELL on Monday May 13th 2013.
Fully restored and finally available on Blu-ray for the very first time (anywhere in the world),MOTEL HELL is a prime cut of 1980’s cult cinema. Directed by Englishman Kevin Connorand starring a host of drive-in movie legends, it’s a bloody, gruesome and horrific barrel of laughs.

Movie Review: Earth's Final Hours (2012, Blu-ray)

Review By: Rob Sibley

So what do we have here? Another SyFy Channel produced disaster movie? Yep that's the case here. I have a passionate love for B-movies. Especially made for SyFy channel B-movies, I usually tune in every Saturday night to see what's the latest schlock they are showing. They dabble in everything from Alien Tornado's to Eric Estrada taking on Chupacabra's at the Alamo. So what's this made for SyFy disaster flick all about?

That's a good question, one that I'm still trying to piece together as the ending credits roll. I will say this before I continue, the whole movie felt sort of like an episode of "24" with disaster movie elements peppered in. Almost like Deep Impact meets 24. But instead of Keifer Sutherland as Jack Bauer we get Robert Knepper (Prison Break) as Agent John Streich. Streich and his partner Agent Massey (Alex Zahara) are driving around and come across a scientist and his hot young blonde assistant. As the two agents confront the scientist on his activities some debris from a radiation storm comes shooting down to the earths atmosphere. One of these baseball sized pieces of debris burst right through the scientists chest. So much for a quick explanation on what he's up to.

Movie Review: Bangkok Revenge (2011, Blu-ray)

Review By: Rob Sibley

 

Looking around online and reading countless reviews of it I've come to the conclusion that I'm one of the few who really enjoyed “Bangkok Revenge”. Which is fine, I never mind being in the minority. To me this is a love it or hate it type of film. The plot isn't anything new at all and the performances are alright... but the fighting is where this film really excelled. If you want a comparison review head on over to Wicked Channel and check out the great James DePaolo's excellent review of the film.

The plot is very simple for the most part. We open up in in Bangkok 1990. A family is fast asleep when a group of gunmen carrying 12 gauges bust into the house. They quickly dispatch the father and mother to discover the couples son was watching the entire time. Seems like they would have let the kid live but he makes the mistake of pulling off one of the gunmen's ski mask. A 9MM beretta is pressed against the boys head and BANG. From there we head off to a local hospital where miraculously the boy survived. It's also interesting to note that due to the bullet lodged in the kids head, a rare brain injury “ataraxia” occurred where he feels no pain and no emotion. Soon enough word gets out that the boy is alive and the gunmen are not too happy about it. It's also revealed that the boys father was a lieutenant who was investigating police corruption and the gunmen are actually corrupt cops. They send a hitman to the hospital to finish the kid off but a kind hearted nurse whisks the child away. She takes the boy to a remote Thai village to live with a Muay Thai master. Over a period of time the master teaches the boy the art of Muay Thai fighting. 

Eats & Drinks Review: Finger Lickin' Salmonella

Cheesers, I'm not really sure why I'm torturing you with this, but I think restaurant reviews are the only thing we haven't managed to do over here at your one-stop geek-shop. Until now, that is. And, for the record, no one should love that chicken from... good God, I can't even type the name without getting queasy. The following story is all true... except for the part that I walked for two blocks. That's far.

It all began innocently enough. I stepped off of the Chicago EL train and walked down the chilly block, my breath exploding in front of my face from the frigid winter air. I was on my way, taking my time, visiting a friend on her lunch break. We’ll call her Tanya, and attempt to keep the innocent, well… innocent. Tanya had just begun her new job, a shift manager’s position at Popeye’s Chicken. Now, normally, I wasn’t a huge fast food chicken fan (I lean to the semi-safer burger and fries crowd), but wanted to be supportive and see how Tanya’s first day was going. Oh, and try and score some free soda.

Movie Review: Dragon Wasps (2012, Chelsea Films)

Reviewed By: John Beutler

I have to admit, good or bad, this reviewer is a sucker for 'nature strikes back' flicks, especially the mutation-themed ones...even going as far back as the '50's nuclear age, when ol' mad scientist Leo J. Carroll, was over a barrel, when "Tarantula" took to the hills. Giant bugs...giant animals...even giant people...sometimes borne of atomic radiation...often wrought from a mad scientist's radical experimentation...occasionally originating from the outer reaches of space...the odd times, abruptly awoken from prehistoric sleep...and in the past few decades, the dreaded scourge of genetic mutation. 

The basic story-lines themselves, a dime-a-dozen, and almost negligible...virtually writing themselves...the situations, given the variant 'tweeking', here and there, are often not that far removed from each other...put a number of characters in a desperate situation...a good guy, a bad guy, and a damsel in distress, amongst others...throw in the prerequisite slimy 'creature', which proceeds to dispatch the minor-league characters, one by one...cue the sappy, albeit responsive-to-the-situation melodrama...muscle up enough gumption from the survivors, in an effort to destroy the creature, as resourcefully as possible...and BAM!! Creature is destroyed, the typically arrogant bad guy dies, in the process...hero and damsel embrace, and all is well. An interchangeable scenario, seen often enough to become cliche, at this point...but like every other film of it's type, the real meat of the 'nature strikes back' flick, is the creature, or creatures...and how it is/they are creatively and realistically rendered. It is in THIS...what is supposed to be the anticipated payoff of the film, that 2012's derivative and ho-hum moderately entertaining, high-octane, rapid-fire sci-fi actioner, "Dragon Wasps", lets the viewer down...

Movie Review: The Thieves (2012, Blu-ray)

Directed by Dong-hoo Choi

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Popie (Lee Jung-Jae), Yenicall (Gianna Jun), Chewingum (Kim Hae-Suk) and Zampano (Kim Soo-Hyun) are a group of highly sophisticated thieves working in South Korea. Utilizing a variety of James Bond-like stunts, their heists are all meticulously planned and executed. After they score a valuable antique vase, they hear from Macao Park (Kim Yun-Seok) in which he proposes a highly lucrative new job at his namesake, the super-gambling island Mecca of Macau. He even manages to recruit former cohort and lover Pepsee (Kim Hye-Soo) to join in, even if she took the fall for his bungled gold theft the years previously. Freshly released from prison, Pepsee then joins Macau and the others in Hong Kong where they team up with four local Hong Kong thieves Chen (Simon Yam), Andrew (Oh Dal-Su), Julie (Angelica Lee) and Johnny (Kwok Cheung Tsang).

Macao Park then lays out the plan. Their mission is to steal the "Tear of Sun" diamond currently in the possession of ruthless criminal Wei Yong, stashed in the suite room of a Macau casino & resort. Macao Park tells his crew that he can easily unload the diamond for $20 million dollars, insuring that all will be set for life if they are successful.

“Too many cooks spoil the broth,” as they say, and the gang of ten all have their own agendas. The plan to steal the diamond goes terribly, terribly wrong and some members of the gang wind up paying for it with their lives. The surviving gang members then plot to bring whoever is responsible to justice, but to quote another cliche -- is there truly "no honor among thieves?"

Japanese Erotic Delights Coming From Impulse Pictures!

IMPULSE PICTURES PRESENTS

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TWO NEW THRILLERS IN THE NIKKATSU EROTIC FILMS COLLECTION!

SHE CAT and FEMALE TEACHER HUNTING

JAPANESE EROTIC DELIGHTS — WITH AN EDGE!

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SHE CAT scratches and prowls!

Dr. “Cat” Kagami was hoping to leave her torrid past behind, but a failed assassination attempt has now put her square in the crosshairs of a team of brutal killers.  Now no one is safe, including her lesbian co-worker and a mysterious woman with a terrible secret that could bring down an entire Japanese company.  Cat must take the law into her own hands and enact her own special kind of revenge!

She Cat, directed by Shingo Yamashiro, is not only one of the more intricately plotted features in the Nikkatsu Erotic Films Collection, but it’s also one of the longest and sexiest entries.  Expert direction, the amazingly “ample” assets of lead actress Ai Saotome, steamy lesbian shower-sex scenes and an action-packed gun fight finale make this film a must see for all Japanese erotic film fans!

In FEMALE TEACHER HUNTING, a moonlight skinny-dipping session between two carefree high schoolers leads to a young boy being accused of a violent assault on his female classmate.  After throwing a teacher to the ground, he stomps out of the school gates and spends his summer break roaming a beachside town.  Falling down a rabbit hole into a dark, oppressive world of sex and violence, he is taken in by a bar-owner and his libidinous mistress. Meanwhile, the teacher he assaulted hunkers down in a rented villa in the same coastal resort, awaiting a secret tryst with her married lover.  What happens when student and teacher meet again?

A moody and dramatic from, with shocking scenes of sex and violence, FEMALE TEACHER HUNTING is deftly directed by one of the strongest of the final wave of Nikkatsu erotic film helmers, Junichi Suzuki.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #93 - One For the Ladies

Kevin and Jeff discuss their favorite women in comedy after Jeff reviews the DVD release of The Carol Burnett Show.

After that, Jacob O'Neal from The Gorram Nerd Hour interviews Meg Foster (Masters of the Universe, They Live). They discuss some of her more obscure films and what it's like to work with cult legends.

To close out the show, Kevin sits with Brenel Anghel, who replaces an ailing Dave. They discuss a slew of trailers for upcoming comic book movies and share their thoughts on what they do or don't anticipate.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

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This episode is sponsored by the following:

Movie Review: Guns, Girls and Gambling (2011)

Mickey Mouse roll call...er, should I say, Tarantino casting call, sound off now: Now, let's have a look-see...we have The Rancher...The Cowboy...The Chief...The Indian...John Smith (...sheesh...now, we're just getting ironic)...The Sexy, Gun-Toting, Black-Lycra-Clad Tall-Drink-o-Water, Blonde Assassin (...uh, getting interesting)...The Girl Next Door...Two, Black-Suited Indian Hitmen (...amongst other Indians...uh, excuse me...'Native Americans'...even though, there IS a nasty canasta fellow here, who's actually FROM India...go figure)...The Thieving Prostitute (...naturally)...and a cartel of bad Elvis impersonators, covering a whole spectrum of ethnicity. Toss in a rare & ancient Indian warrior mask, throw all this into one of those informercialled Magic Bullet mini-mix-masters, press 'frappe', and wha' da' ya' got?? 

This amusingly quaint, cleverly deceptive and rather funny little all-star Quentin Tarantino knock-off from 2011, with the grocery-shelf generic title of "Guns, Girls and Gambling"...
 

Atleast, at first glance, that is what most viewers here, may well resign them with...that this is yet another low-grade Tarantino knock-off (...eh, understandable here, as the film opens, trying to be 'eclectically cool', by once again...as some films have done, in the past...playing the 'Elvis' card); however, as the events that transpire here, further unfold...twists and turns, deftly wrapped around a simple, mistaken-identity-driven story of 'what the heck...everyone's trying to kill me, for something that I didn't do'...the clear intent here, was to give the ol' Tarantino style, a sly, clever and humorous 'wink, wink', without actually crossing the line, over into outright parody...

Movie Review: Baise-moi (2000, DVD)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Leave it to the fine folks at Arrow UK to release one of the most controversial French films and give it an all star treatment. This is the first time the film has been presented in widescreen! To that I raise my glass and say bravo Arrow for giving the film it's best release yet! Baise-moi which in French literally translates to English as “Fuck Me”. Was attacked by critics and film goers upon release back in 2000. One could say it started the “new wave” of French films that packed a punch and dealt with pretty nasty material. It's interesting to think how viciously this film was attacked. If only brilliant films like Xavier Gens' masterpiece “Fronteir(s)” or Pascal Laugier's “Martyrs” would have come out that year. French film critics would have had a heart attack.

So the big question is does Baise-moi really deserve all the controversy that surrounded it upon intial release? Even more important is the film good enough to break through it's exploitation roots and become something more grand? To think that this film is still banned in Australia and it's considered a criminal offense if you own it is down right silly. 

Movie Review: 13 Eerie (2011, DVD)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Good zombie films are becoming more and more of a rarity these days. It's been even especially worse for low budget zombie pictures. Osombie, Zombie Apocalypse & Rise of the zombies to name a few. But for the slew of bad zombie films were treated now and then to a gem such as The Revenant and Exit Humanity. So with curiosity I put “13 Eerie” into my DVD player to discover a not half bad Canadian Zombie flick.

From the box cover alone the film has my interest. It sports the cream of the crop of Canadian talent. You can never go wrong with Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps, American Mary) in the lead role. The supporting cast was equally pretty cool featuring the unappreciated Brendan Fletcher (Freddy Vs Jason, Rampage) and the always cool Michael Shanks (Stargate SG-1). I was pretty surprised that he wasn't listed on the front cover since he's the biggest name in the movie and the most accomplished of all the actors. Rounding out the cast though is Brendan Fehr (Final Destination, X-men: First Class) and Jesse Moss. You'll probably remember Moss as the psychotic college kid from Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil. He even had plenty of screen time with Isabelle back in 2000's “Gingersnaps”. So it was cool seeing the two on screen together again. 

'BLOOD FOR IRINA' North America, UK Blu-ray/DVD Box Art Revealed

Autonomy Pictures is proud to announce the multi-territory release of Chris Alexanders'  BLOOD FOR IRINA.  This is a first for the genre-driven company to release a film in the same time frame for North America, the United Kingdom, France and Poland.

Below is a sneak peek of the Blu-ray/DVD art which will street May 28, 2013 in North America.  The film will be release on DVD in United Kingdom and France, May 27, 2013 and will hit digital streaming in Poland on that date as well. Disc extras will be announced very soon!

2012, USA, RT: 70 min. 1080P HD (Bluray) Anamorphic Widescreen 1.78
Color, English HD 2.0 Stereo, Region ABC (Bluray),
Optional Spanish, French subtitles on Feature only

Movie Review: Phantasm II (Blu-ray)

It seems so rare that when a movie that garners considerable popularity such as Don Coscarelli’s Phantasm that you’d almost always expect a follow-up within a year or two of it's theatrical release. For whatever reason, be it funding, not having a strong script etc. it’s not always plausible. Nearly ten years passed before Coscarelli put together the follow-up to Phantasm, Phantasm II. By this time he had directed one more film in The Beastmaster. Was it too late? He does bring back the “The Tall Man” and one of his other leads in Reggie Bannister, and yes, those wonderfully shiny balls as well.

Following the traumatic events, Mike (James Le Gros) is continuing to have very vivid dreams about the The Tall Man (Angus Scrimm, Phantasm series, Chopping Mall). He’s even picked up a new friend via these dreams along the way in Liz (Paula Irvine) who he is psychically connected to.