Search the Cinema Head Cheese Archives!

November 15, 2010

Six Degrees of Cheese: Best and Worst Kevins

As a Kevin, I share one of the most popular baby names of the seventies with many people my age. I have known a few, and one is even a friend since we were ten. After hearing something about Kevin Garnett, I had the strange idea that there weren't many Kevins in the public eye. I really struggled to name many. Of course, thinking of one Celtic led me to Kevin McHale, and the Boston connection to Kevin Faulk. I thought of Kevin Johnson and Kevin Kolb. All athletes. Well, what about the actors, comics and musicians? All I could think of was Kevin Arnold, but he's just a fictional character. This sent me off on a stupid search. I had to find the best and worst Kevins in entertainment history and post them here. I truly am an idiot for this one.

The Best

First, we'll start with the best. I didn't want to be too cliche about it, so I dug deep to find good stuff. This is who I think is best. Sure, I left Spacey off the list, but as time goes on, you realize that he has never been different from one character to the next. I like him in movies, but there's no real depth over time. Kevin James and Kevin Meaney are great comics, but they didn't quite make it. Kevin Eastman gave us the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but what since then? This is who I think is best based on a combination of body of work and potential.

 #6 - Kevin Corrigan

Corrigan has a pile of credits that include Detroit Rock City and Goodfellas, but he's probably best remembered for his role as Donal Logue's brother in the TV series Grounded for Life. Corrigan was the best part of that show by far. He also had a great role as Patton Oswalt's best friend in the sports obsession drama Big Fan. It looks like he's gaining ground as his IMDb page is loaded for the last two years.

Find Kevin Corrigan on

#5 - Kevin Hart

Hart has quickly become one of my favorite stand-up comedians. His special, I'm a Grown Little Man, was smart and funny and extremely accessible. His struggles as a dad and a short guy make for great entertainment. I recently watched his latest, Seriously Funny, and it's just as good. Actually, just for his impression of Shaq, who was in the audience, it's worth your time. Hart has been a part of many of the "Movie" movies, but he has done interesting things like Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, which parodied the Hercules-type series.

Find Kevin Hart on

#4 - Kevin Nealon

Nealon is one of my all-time favorite SNL cast members. He's not a guy you remember for a pile of characters, but he was always great on the show. He always comes through in the Adam Sandler movies, and he was an important part of Grandma's Boy. He gets a ton of praise for Weeds, which I have yet to see, but I believe what I hear. People also forget that he's a great stand-up comic with a subtle and understated style that's tough to duplicate.

Find Kevin Nealon on

#3 - Kevin McCarthy

He just died a few months ago at the age of ninety-six, but he still has a few movies on the way. McCarthy was a great character actor who was featured in the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Howling. He was also a part of two of my childhood favorites as the lead villain in Innerspace and the ratings hungry head of a rival network in Weird Al's UHF. The fact that he worked into his nineties is impressive.
Find Kevin McCarthy on

#2 - Kevin Bacon

I don't know what it is, but even in a bad movie, he's good. Even in a bad show like Will & Grace, Bacon steals the show and makes it enjoyable. He's even a victim to my all-time favorite slasher, Jason Voorhees. I knew he was one of the greatest actors I'd ever see after watching The Woodsman. If you can make people root for a pedophile, you're good. No question about it.

Find Kevin Bacon on

#1 - Kevin Smith

Say what you will about his last few movies, but Smith has cemented himself in film history. He made the independent film accessible to the common man. He showed us that you can be funny and creative without the overly pretentious melodrama that used to hamper that world. He also let other budding filmmakers know that you can do things your own way and succeed. Along the way, he created two characters that will forever resonate with my generation. Smith moved past that realm to direct two movies that didn't fare well, but he keeps going in new directions. Cop Out was his first action film, and the upcoming Red State is his first venture into horror. Add his live shows, books, a network of podcasts and his own black box theater to the mix, and we have ourselves a genuine renaissance man.

Find Kevin Smith on

The Worst

And now we get to the bad. I know, I could easily be on this list. After all, I'm in five of the worst movies I've ever seen. My saving graces are my book, my blog and this website. For some reason, people like these things. I think that at least bumps me down to #7 and slightly off this list. Here are the few that beat me out.

#6 - Kevin Sorbo

I don't know what's worse. Is it that Sorbo portrayed the most ridiculous version of Hercules since Lou Ferrigno or is it that people watched him every week? Sorbo also brought us Andromeda, which looks like a bad Star Trek ripoff, and he was a big part of The O.C. More recently, he was a part of the horrible Meet the Spartans. I don't say it's horrible because I saw it, because I didn't. All I needed was the commercial.

Find Kevin Sorbo on

#5 - Kevin Michael Richardson

This guy has one sin that he will be put on this list for. He is part of The Cleveland Show, which is Seth MacFarlane's way of ringing yet another drop out of Family Guy. His character is Cleveland, Jr.,  which just happens to be the worst character on this extremely unwatchable show. I'm sure MacFarlane will find a way to spin off yet another carbon copy of his Homer Simpson clone and we'll see more of this crap.

Find The Cleveland Show on

#4 - Kevin Federline

Do I really need to get into this one? This is the guy that ruined the wet dream of much of America's youth by transforming Britney Spears from a pop sex symbol to a white trash nightmare. Oh, let's not forget when he tried to rap. He had one shining moment making fun of himself in a commercial, but I don't even think he got it. The crazy part is that he seems to be doing better than his former wife and has kept himself out of the spotlight in the past few years.

Find Kevin Federline on

#3 - Kevin Costner

Costner had huge turns in Dances With Wolves and JFK, but then he started a steady slide downward. Just his name on a marquee is enough to send movie patrons into the latest edition of anything else on the planet. Dragonfly was the end of it for me, and I can't imagine that it has gotten any better since. Add the fact that he's another actor who thinks he's a musician, and you see why he's on this list.

Find Kevin Costner on

#2 - Kevin Trudeau

The infomercial king of the 1990s promised to do everything from build your memory to give you the home remedy for everything. Many of my late teenage nights were ruined by his phony talk show sets starring Danny Bonaduce. Lawsuits plagued Trudeau over time, but he still pops up with a book now and again.

Find Kevin Trudeau on

#1 - Kevin Eubanks

For years, Eubanks was the one man laugh track to the worst late night talk show host in television history. Every time Jay Leno started some stupid moronic joke with "Kev, did you hear about this? Did you hear about this?" I'd cringe, because I knew the bad joke would be followed by a ridiculous guffaw that drowned out the audience's silence. Even the crickets weren't as loud as this idiot's babbling kiss-assery. He's gone now, and hopefully he never makes a return... to anything.

Find Kevin Eubanks on

1 comment:

  1. Why the venom for the Cleveland Show? Yeah it's not always great but it's been more consistent than Family Guy,and I love Family Guy.