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June 2, 2011

Eats & Drinks Review: Redline Energy Drinks

I am riddled with caffeine. I must drink gallons of it per month in one form or another. I was told my ADHD makes me crave it. It could also have something to do with my usual lack of sleep, raising a two-year-old, or any number of things. One of my caffeine sources is the energy drink. Until a few years ago, the closest we came to an energy drink was Jolt Cola. I heard about Redline when it came out, but it was only available in a few places. Once it was widely available. I gave it a shot.

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The first thing I noticed was the warning label. Yes, every energy drink contains one, but not like this. It wasn't the standard line about people sensitive to caffeine. This is the warning that should be on cocaine. When you buy your eight ounce bottle, it recommends that you drink only two ounces to start, and four ounces at the most. It also said not to drink more than one bottle per day. I saw that as a challenge, and I downed it in about three gulps.

I was wide awake and alert for hours, and I mean hours. I have no idea how long, but it was way beyond what a normal energy drink would give me. It was nice and level, and I've had a few since. But, that's me. Again, I'm riddled with caffeine. When I went looking for the official site, I found several articles about negative effects from Redline. there were many reports of people shaking uncontrollably and vomiting. There was a common feeling of a racing heart. I looked at the drink's website, and I found an interesting paragraph.

"This VPX breakthrough is the first physique-transforming matrix to coax your body to burn fat through the “shivering response.” It is a physiological fact that when you shiver, your body releases a large amount of stored body fat in an attempt to bring body temperature back to normal. Redline® induces this effect quite efficiently. However, the power of Redline® does not stop there, as its radical combination of novel ingredients will also have you sweating up a thermogenic storm, and thus burning fat through yet another unique mechanism."

So, if you're into the cold nervous chihuahua diet, this is for you. This is actually confusing, because the product warning actually reads, "Do not use this product if you are more than 15 pounds over weight. The consumer assumes total liability if this product is used in a manner inconsistent with label guidelines. Do not use for weight reduction." So, it's good for burning fat, but you shouldn't use it for weight loss. I don't know.

Here's the deal. They put warnings all over the bottle. If you can't handle energy drinks, don't drink this stuff. If you can, maybe this is for you. There are six flavors, and I have tried most of them. They aren't great, but they aren't terrible. They're no better or worse than any other drinks. We don't really drink these for the flavor anyway.

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