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September 9, 2014

Movie Review: Porn Shoot Massacre (2008, Lost Empire Films)

...ya' know?? This viewer truly misses the bygone days of the mid-'80's, to the early '90's, at which time, mail order ad blocks, exploitatively detailing exclusive, micro-budgeted, and independently-produced VHS-formatted horror gems, could be found inconspicuously dotted amidst the other advertisements and articles, in various genre magazines. For a mere 20-spot, on the average, some of the most unique...touch and go, as far as good or bad...titles were rendered available, in this venue...with such offerings, disappearing as quickly as they appeared...and in acquiring these exclusive titles...typically produced by eager fledgling filmmakers, who manage to gather a plethora of friends together, for a bit of fun in grinding out a cheapie...one could proudly engage conversation, in claiming to be the only one within miles, to genuinely have such titles. Titles, such as "555", "Color Me Blood Red...Again", "Splatter: Architects of Fear", the infamous pornographic 'gore' trilogy (..."Gorgasm", "Gorotica" and "Gore Whore"), "Unnaturally Born Killer" and "Mad Ron's Prevues from Hell" (...and yes, this viewer proudly possesses all of these), amongst countless others, were shuffled in with micro-production company titles, from folks like 'Brain Damage Films', 'Tempe Video' & "E.I. Entertainment, and surprisingly enough, many of these obscure horror indies bore enough greater style, imagination, creativity, attitude and ambition, to counter even genre titles produced by the much larger production studios. Yep, such exclusive acquisition days are in the past; however, thanks to the 'net, such eager sophomore genre efforts have proven somewhat more readily available, nowadays, but elatedly, the attitude, style and sense of ambition remain unchanged constants. Considering all that, one might well relish a trist of nostalgic deja-vu, in that respect, with the amusing and oh-so cheesy 2008 softcore horror/comedy effort, "Porn Shoot Massacre"...


...boisterously eccentric, arrogantly demanding, flagrantly incompetent, hippy-haired, goat-beard chinned, perverted Svengali-wannabee film director, simply named Malfini, has put the casting call out to a number of seasoned and physically well-endowed pornographic stars, to come and assume roles in his proposed skin flick, with the promise of $10,000, in trade for their varied under-the-sheet performances. Once the number of willing (...and some, not so willing, due to being asked to degradedly lower themselves to such a meagerly budgeted production) porn actresses and participants...including some prone to lesbian twosomes, a leather-clad dominatrix, and yes, folks, a perverse & snickering little porn king dwarf...arrive and begin performing their,,,uh, wares...though, to their horror, they find themselves relentlessly & systematically stalked, and violently & bloodily dispatched by a hulking & maniacal, masked psychopathic killer, lurking in the shadows of the warehouse, where the filming is taking place. But, wait a minute!! Why does this production have surveillance cameras installed and focused all around the various rooms, hallways and catacombs in the warehouse?? Is there something much more diabolical afoot, other than the proposed eroticism being filmed??

...as might be expected, for a film of this caliber...the ridiculously corny dialog...the wildly exaggerated, over-the-top performances...the shoddy cardboard sets...the overly splashy attempt at deftly photographed 'grand guignol' level gore...all of these flaws, quite forgivable. However, given the exploitative-ness of the film's title...especially with the inclusion of two genuine porn actresses, herein (...renowned, albeit lower tiered porno stars Naomi Cruz and Diana Prince)...the overall impression of what is presented, which surprisingly, and somewhat disappointedly falls short on both implied counts, seems not that far removed from an excitably awaited prize fight, whereby the fighters constantly pull their punches, and as such, the opportunity for 'full-nine' exploitation is measureably wasted. The level of 'pornography', contained in "Porn Shoot Massacre" barely goes beyond that of the average softcore production, and the level of visceral drippage is never really presented further than that of the violence occurring off-screen, or not directly within camera lens shot, with the gore limited to righteous splashes of blood & grue on the nearby wall of each killing...though, on both points, the proceedings are reasonably strong and edgy enough to warrant the film's 'unrated' moniker...

...it's almost hard to tell who is truly having the most fun, in engaging this trite little production. Actor Robert Ambrose manages to quite literally steal the show, in his wildly sleazy and over-the-top role as the perverse Malfini, our demandantly intrepid porno director. The often combative porn gals themselves...mostly exaggerated extensions of bitchy women, prone to rantings of obsessed fame and vanity...offer some humorously arousing moments here, especially when they abruptly cease their incessive bickering, in favor of undressing and pleasuring each other. Amusingly enough, this film proves to be diminutive actor Richard Little's very first film, with his riotous performance as the horny porn star dwarf. And of course, there's our resident, giant-sized brute of a psycho killer, lumbering around the cardboard sets, stalking and slashing in prerequisite fashion...wearing a discernable mask on his face, which looks like...Good Grief!!! Is that a giant jock strap on his face??...

...as cheap, inept, cheesy and eyeball-rolling as "Porn Shoot Massacre"truly is, one might well find it quite difficult not to like this sleazy little film; one can easily see what the film's producer was going for, in these proceedings, despite the film's constant pulling-of-the-punches. However, to take this film to a much more polished mantle, would most assuredly degrade the overall look; in the end, the cheesy-ness of the production is assuredly where this delicious little turd works best...

1 comment:

  1. I've been searching everywhere for "Color Me Blood Red...Again". You're only the third person I've ever encountered who has even heard of the thing!

    Does it rip off the plot of the H.G. Lewis film or just the title?

    ReplyDelete