Movie Review: Paranormal Sexperiments (2016)

Week after week, I see reviews from our wonderful writers. Sometimes they love the movies they're sent for review, and sometimes they struggle through some of the worst pieces of garbage a human being can lay eyes on. That's the nature of this movie review business. Some great, some good, and so much bad. Most of the movies land on my doorstep, and I'll admit to fishing through for titles I may want to watch before passing them along for Jeff to dole out. I don't keep all of the good ones. That would be selfish, and I don't have enough time to get through them all. It would also be selfish to avoid all of the bad ones, so occasionally, I bite the bullet. This time, I choked down a big pile of shrapnel.

I have to say that I'm baffled to see movies like this still being made. I don't know who still watches softcore porn. Don't be fooled. That's exactly what this is. I didn't realize that when I decided to watch it. I truly didn't know this stuff still existed. I just thought it was some kind of stupid parody. Does everyone know about the internet? I assume so, if you're reading this. They have real adult films on real easy to find websites. In fact, two days after I watched this, I saw the lead actress on the front page of one of those sites. Don't worry, my wife approves. We're a progressive couple, and I frankly prefer her to anyone I see in any video. Anyway, when you can see the actors you want to see on the adult sites... forget it. Someone is obviously buying this stuff.

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - The Red Skelton Hour: Unreleased Seasons (Time Life, 2016)

Kevin reviews a classic show from a legendary comedian.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

Support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment by clicking the links on our Sponsors page!
 

Movie Review: Uncle Nick (2016)

Christmas is supposed to be about the miraculous birth of Christ for Christian families all over the world. It's about giving for many others. Ads a mail carrier, it's about working miserable hours for a month, but that's just my issue. For many people, it can be about one thing year after year; family dysfunction.

Brian Posehn is Nick, an alcoholic loner in Cleveland who runs the landscaping business his late father left behind. He is getting ready to attend a family Christmas party at his baby brother's house. He doesn't respect his brother, who is basically a rich woman's (Paget Brewster) trophy husband. His only real motivation for attending is that he wants to hook up with his brother's college age step-daughter. In case you didn't guess it, Nick is a bit of a creep.

The party is also attended by Nick's goofy sister (Missi Pyle) and brother-in-law (Scott Adsit), who has a podcast about the Cleveland Indians. The World Series losers (sorry, I grew up in Chicago watching the Cubs) play a pivotal role in the movie. As the story moves along in chapters, each chapter is prefaced by a segment of a story told by Nick about an infamous Indians game at which the poorly attended team offered ten cent beers. The result was chaos, and Nick's story takes a similar path.

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Hush (2016)

Kevin talks about the most tense horror/suspense film he's seen in a long time.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

Support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment by clicking the links on our Sponsors page!
 

Music Review: Luke Cage Original Soundtrack (Marvel/Netflix, 2016)

One of the best parts of Marvel's Luke Cage is the music. Many episodes start with musical acts performing at Harlem's Paradise, the show's fictional night club. Add to it an amazing score by Adrian Younge and Ali Shaheed Muhammad, and you have a soundtrack that beautifully compliments the show.

Marvel and Netflix recently released the soundtrack to the show. While it served as the background to my work day once or twice, I have to say that it was a bit disappointing overall. To clarify, nothing on the soundtrack is disappointing. Every track is perfectly written and performed, and I thought about their corresponding scenes as I listened. Method Man performs Bulletproof Love, and original track for the show which I can not get enough of. Unfortunately, that's the only vocal performance on the album.

TV Review: Luke Cage (Marvel/Netflix, 2016)

By now, everyone who was going to watch Marvel's latest installment in the Defenders series has binged through all thirteen episodes of Luke Cage. If you haven't, I'll warn you now, there might be some minor spoilers. Also, what have you been doing? After two rounds of Daredevil and Luke's introduction through Jessica Jones, I would think people would be ready for the bulletproof hero for hire. I couldn't wait for this one, and so far, it's my favorite of the bunch.

Luke lives a quiet life working two jobs to make ends meet. After his bar was blown up in part thanks to Jessica Jones, he decides to lay low. Not to mention the headaches he still suffers after she shot him in the jaw with a shotgun. His day job is at a barber shop run by local thug-turned-hero Pop. At night, he sweeps up at Harlem's Paradise, a night club owned by the infamous Cottonmouth Stokes. When a bartender calls in, Luke is forced to take his place for the night, and our story is set in motion.

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park: Europe (Netflix, 2016)

Kevin reviews a new series from our favourite Canadian screw-ups.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

Support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment by clicking the links on our Sponsors page!

TV Review: Haters Back Off! (Netflix, 2016)

I will generally give any show a few episodes before I quit watching it. Sometimes, I'll sit through whole seasons, just to be agitated and disappointed. Take seasons 5-7 of Mad Men, for example. I sat around waiting hour after hour for something interesting or entertaining to happen, and it never did. John Hamm, who I don't blame at all for the disastrous nose dive of that series, actually got an Emmy for the last season. I suppose anyone should be rewarded for gracefully choking their way through the demise of something that was once brilliant. I was smarter with shows like Dexter and Game of Thrones. These shows that people inexplicably love play out in such a flat and dull manner that I dove off the ship after a very short stint. Hate me for saying it all you want. They're terrible shows. I'm sure I'll get the same level of hate for this mess based on a popular YouTube star.

Sure, the title expects people like me to chime in. I get it. When you share hundreds of videos on YouTube, you're bound to get some horrible reactions. Miranda Sings is the creation of Colleen Ballinger, and she is everything a delusional YouTuber should be. She believes she has talent, which she doesn't. Her friends and family tell her how good she is, which she isn't. People online tell her to keep going, which she shouldn't. She's bad. She's Chocolate Rain bad. Her singing is blocked up and nasal. Thanks to her uncle, she starts a YouTube channel, and her videos start to get hits, mostly from a boy who likes her.

Movie Review: Mascots (Netflix, 2016)

Netflix has grabbed some big names since starting to produce their own movies and television shows. While series seems to be what most of us focus on, they've been quietly ramping up their movie production. Adam Sandler is a third of the way through his six movie deal, Ricky Gervais recently shared both a series and movie on the platform, documentaries are flowing like water, and now Christopher Guest has added a film to the service. His latest mockumentary focuses on a competition between the top twenty team mascots from around the world. It's basically Best in Show with a different setting, but it's still worth watching.

We start with Mike and Mindy Murray (Zach Woods and Sarah Baker) as a couple who performs as an octopus and turtle, respectively, for their local baseball team. The two are clearly in a difficult marriage, partly because of infidelity. Their on screen awkwardness is perfectly uncomfortable, because we've all known or been this couple. In contrast, we see a lovely English couple, the Gollys (pronounced Jolly). Owen Jr. is a third generation soccer mascot trying to prove himself to his father. Chris O'Down is an aggressive hockey mascot known as The Fist. He's a Scottish man living in Alberta because of a cult his parents started. We follow a few other interesting mascots including a worm, a plumber and an armadillo. They are all unique in strange ways.