Static Age #26: Beasts (1976)

Beasts (1976) DVD box art.

This Static Age’s spotlight goes to Beasts (1976), the fascinating 6-episode British horror series from acclaimed writer Nigel Kneale that was made by ATV for the ITV Network. Each standalone episode tackles a bestial themed horror subject. ‘Special Offer’ is about a paranormal revenge. ‘During Barty’s Party’ is about rat infestation. ‘Buddyboy’ is about a haunting from a dolphin. ‘Baby’ is about ancient witchcraft getting in the way of a pregnancy. ‘What Big Eyes’ is about a man who is keenly interested in becoming a wolf and my comment is that it takes all kinds. ‘The Dummy’ is the best and goriest episode, and it is about a horror movie star burned-out from playing monsters.

 

And now, let’s switch our focus towards some recent series…

 

Locke & Key - Season 3

The 3^rd (and final) season of Netflix’s Locke & Key (2020 – 2022) finds its protagonists with more trouble at the Keyhouse, but who’s holding the key to solve the mystery in the series finale? Fairy-tale like and owning a big portion of its inspirations to Stephen King, this is well-made but ultimately forgettable.

 

The narcotics trafficking action goes to Mexico in the 1^st season of the aptly named Narcos: Mexico (2018 – 2021) – available on Netflix – and is about the rise of the Guadalajara cartel and the war that the newly-formed DEA had to perform in order to sedate the drug distribution and countless killings. Well-made and with thorough research of its subject matter as well as the historical backdrop, this is gangster television at its best.

 

Black Mirror - Season 6

Upsetting and more relevant than ever, the 6^th season of Netflix’s Black Mirror (2011 – present) is set to scare the shit out of technophobes the world over, with its brilliant five episodes that include ‘Joan is Awful’ in which a start up company’s well-paid employee (Annie Murphy) is seeing her life getting hijacked by a streaming platform that uses it as the template for a series starring Salma Hayek; ‘Loch Henry’ which is about a young couple (Samuel Blenkin and Myha’la Herrold) who study filmmaking and abandons its weak-sounding project about an egg man, in favor of a true crime story that seems to have more bread to it; the feature-length ‘Beyond the Sea’ that is a demented love story and the weakest entry in this season, but at least it is perfectly tuned with the entire ‘identity theft’ thematic concept; ‘Mazey Day’ in which the titular movie star is suffering from an undisclosed condition and seeks isolation, but the obstacle of the Hollywood paparazzi appears to be hard to overcome; the feature-length ‘Demon 79’ takes us to late 1970s England but only merely touches the cinematic aesthetics of the era and tells the story of a woman with brief violent visions who gets approached by genie that gives her motive to perform a series of murders.

 

Carnival Row - Season 2

Set in Victorian-era England, the 2^nd season of Amazon Studios’ Carnival Row (2019 – 2023) employs the fantasy world of fairies in order to raise questions about racism and constitutional power abuse. This final season is much more violent and gritty than the first (a welcome twist) and also benefits from great performances (Orlando Bloom and Cara Delevingne star) and stunning set & costume design. It is not without its faults though, as the main CGI monster is horribly laughable and the final episode’s queer twist came out of nowhere.

 

The 2^nd season of Netflix’s Russian Doll (2019 – present) has the attractive chain-smoking stereotypical New Yorker Nadia Vulvokov (Natasha Lyonne) in another time-travelling adventure that takes her back to 1982, and the show with some of the most adorable dialogues in recent TV history, as well as a lovely rock and new wave soundtrack is an absolute winner.

 

The 2^nd season of Marvel Studios’ I Am Groot (2022 – present) is offering five more short stories of the titular tree kid getting involved in hilarious and cute adventures, all featuring stunning animation work.

 

The Haunting of Hill House - Season 1

The sole season of Netflix’s The Haunting of Hill House (2018), created and directed by Mike Flanagan (who also wrote many of its episodes, based on Shirley Jackson’s classic horror novel) is about the titular residence that spooks a family’s past and present. Well-made, genuinely scary, and engaging throughout its mere 10 episodes, this is modern horror television at its best – a masterful event for the small screen that its eeriness will be cherished for years to come.

 

The Mandalorian

Set in the Star Wars universe, Disney’s 2^nd season of The Mandalorian (2019 – present) is offering further adventures of the titular bounty hunter (Pedro Pascal) as he protects an overwhelmingly cute baby Yoda and gets mixed-up in all sorts of action-packed situations, but the real riches of the series lie in its gorgeous and spot-on spaghetti western aesthetics.

 

And now, please allow me a word on some recent mainstream film releases…

 

Writer/director James Gunn with his wild cinema influences that combine humor (often of the Meta kind) and PG-13 violence seems ideal at this stage of superhero movie overkill, and he expectedly delivers the goods in Marvel Studios’ Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3 (2023), an epic 2 and a half hour spectacle that perfectly gels action with emotion, showcasing the importance of heroics in a universe that goes bananas, not very unlike the current state of affairs.

 

The Flash (2023)

DC’s The Flash (2023), directed by Andy Muschietti, is about the titular superhero (Ezra Miller) who accidentally tampers with time and creates a mix-up with parallel universes, resulting in several versions of friends and enemies (including an aged Michael Keaton return as Batman) to come up forward with different agendas, while he also takes the opportunity to try and correct some wrongs from his past. This is not really a movie but more of a CGI showcase, as there is barely any shots, let alone scenes that are not enhanced by this technology, and had me wondering if the filmmakers shot anything else other than a few known actors against green screen backgrounds. This is a terrible example of cinema (if it even qualifies as that) that says a lot about the awful state of pop culture.

 

Indiana Jones and...

Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) goes back and forth in time in director James Mangold’s Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) thanks to the powers of the Antikythera mechanism and the newfound de-aging CGI techniques, only to fight Nazis again, this time led by Jurgen Voller (Mads Mikkelsen). Expectedly bombastic with its outrageous $300 million budget, this feels like an endless chase sequence, and while it is entertaining enough (if a bit too long at two and a half hours long), it didn’t really gel with blockbuster audiences (most people who grew up with Indy’s adventures are now beyond their forties, me included).

 

Barely directed by Steven Caple Jr., Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) seems mostly like the work of a committee – Michael Bay is a producer, and Steven Spielberg is an executive producer – and its barebones scenario takes us back to a long time ago, namely the 1990s when the Maximals join the Autobots on a fight with the usual high stakes: saving the world once again! Featuring human-like robots, animal-looking robots (all of them speaking with a variety of stereotypical accents), that are adequate at transforming into cars and vice versa, and only a handful of human actors, this lifeless CGI charade will have you wondering why $400 was spent for its making, and even more so why enough people went to see it in theaters to gross $439 million.

 

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

Produced by Tom Cruise (the film’s star) and Christopher McQuarrie (the film’s director) on a massive $291 million budget, the bombastic Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (2023) is about the hunt for a two-part key that can give the ultimate power to whoever gets to own it. All of the franchise’s standard tropes are here including facial recognition-avoiding masks and self-destructed messages, as well as James Bond-like travelogue footage of pretty much every tourist location in the world and beyond, but as per usual where the film really shines is during Cruise’s epic stunts (that he performs sans the aid of a stunt man) that reveal his obsession on becoming the western Jackie Chan. Sure, plenty of CGI is involved, but you’ll be in awe to witness how much of the action was actually shot in real sets. Suspenseful and entertaining throughout its 2 and a half hour running time, this is current action cinema at its best, and well-worthy of the $576.5 million it grossed.

 

Blue Beetle (2023)

Barely resembling a real movie, let alone anything that you could call remotely ‘good’ or even ‘watchable’, DC’s Blue Beetle (2023) directed by Angel Manuel Soto is a piece of excrement that was seemingly made by an algorithm programmed by market metrics, rather than humans, as it is so predictable you could guess where every plot decision is going from miles away and the CGI are remarkably video game-like. Oh, yes, and the titular superhero is of Latin American background (Xolo Mariduena), because you know, you have to tick those ‘diversity’ boxes. The genre has run its course and considering this grossed a mere $129.3 million on an outrageous $104 million budget, the big studios should soon receive the message sane audiences has been sending them for a couple of years now.

 

And unlikely for me, this time I enriched my bookshelf with the following fiction book additions: Stephen King’s The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger (1978), Thomas Harris’ Hannibal box-set [Red Dragon (1981), The Silence of the Lambs (1988), Hannibal (1999), and Hannibal Rising (2006)], Patrick McGrath’s Spider (1990), William Landay’s Defending Jacob (2012), Don Winslow’s The Cartel (2015), and Burn (2014) by James Patterson & Michael Ledwidge.

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Static Age #7

Carl Kolchak (Darren McGavin) in a frame from Kolchak: The Night Stalker (1974 - 1975)

This Static Age is focusing on Kolchak: The Night Stalker (1974 – 1975) which lasted for one season only and 20 episodes in total. It continues the story of the two well-known TV-movies that became a phenomenon and bears the same aesthetics. Carl Kolchak (Darren McGavin, who played the same character in the movies as well) is a reporter who investigates a series of crimes or events in Chicago that may be or may be not supernatural. The only issue I have with the series is that in most episodes the conclusion is lasting for only a few seconds, and you may miss something if you blink; but that was a common thing in television series back then anyway.

The first episode, called ‘The Ripper’, is pretty much a rehash of the first film, but this should be expected as viewers that had not seen the films would have wanted a bit of familiarizing. ‘The Zombie’ is about voodoo and the resurrection of the dead, although the most jaw-dropping scene is the one in which the protagonist puts a female reporter in the trunk of his car, in order to get rid of her after the suggestion of a police officer; man, the 1970s were weird. ‘They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be…’ is a very clever episode about a series of murders of both humans and animals whose bone marrow is missing, what could possibly be the connection between those hideous crimes and a series of metal deposits thefts by an invisible force? ‘The Vampire’ is an excellent episode about a super strong female vampire. ‘The Werewolf’ is set on a ship and it is about a – you guessed it – werewolf that causes mayhem for no apparent reason; Paul Naschy would be proud. ‘Firefall’ is about the ghost of a gangster that has a taste for classical music and a series of bizarre explosions that trouble the protagonist. ‘The Devil’s Platform’ is about a dog that is involved in a political conspiracy that includes several suspicious explosions (and maybe a bit of good old-fashioned Satanism). ‘Bad Medicine’ is a really boring episode about a Native American that can turn into a crow, and the connection he may have with some stolen diamonds. ‘The Spanish Moss Murders’ is about a sleep clinic that accidentally unleashed a Cajun monster that lurks in Chicago’s wells. ‘The Energy Eater’ is about the eponymous ghost that feeds on the energy of a hospital that was built upon its grave. ‘Horror in the Heights’ is about swastikas that mysteriously appeared in the walls of a Jewish neighborhood, while its streets are terrorized by a demon that can be transformed into your most-trusted person. ‘Mr. R.I.N.G.’ is about an A.I. anthropomorphic robot that is malfunctioning and quite accidentally kills people. ‘Primal Scream’ is about an ape that goes into a killing spree. ‘The Trevi Collection’ is about a series of murders that are happening in the fashion world (it was so fashionable back then anyway) that may be connected to witchcraft. ‘Chopper’ is about a headless biker ghost that is beheading its victims with a sword! ‘Demon in Lace’ is a particularly scary episode about a succubus. ‘Legacy of Terror’ is about a bunch of Aztecs that remove the hearts of their victims. ‘The Knightly Murders’ is about a medieval museum that when it is about to be turned into a discothèque, a knight is resurrected and kills people. ‘The Youth Killer’ is about a lady that sacrifices people to ancient Greek gods in order to stay young and beautiful. The final episode, ‘The Sentry’, is one of the best, and it is about a human-sized reptile monster that is killing construction workers in a miles-long underground tunnel site.

And now, let’s switch our focus towards some recent shows…

Black Mirror - Season 5

The 5^th season of renowned British series Black Mirror (2011 – ongoing) consists of 3 masterful episodes. ‘Striking Vipers’ is about two childhood friends that have moved on with their lives, until they meet again within an updated version of their favorite video game, in which instead of fighting they discover their sexuality, that is being gay and having an attraction for each other. ‘Smithereens’ is about a bitter man (that is high in intelligence and low on income), that kidnaps a man, but it will take a while for the authorities to figure out his motives. ‘Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too’ is about pop star Ashley O (the gorgeous, real-life pop star Miley Cyrus) and her evil aunt that controls her life and career via the aid of pills and manipulation, but it is also about fandom and how it can save the people it worships. Highly recommended.

Genny Savastano (Salvatore Esposito) in Gomorrah

The 4^th season of Gomorrah (2014 – ongoing) continues from where the last one ended, with Genny Savastano (Salvatore Esposito) mourning the death of his childhood friend Ciro and haunted by nightmares. Additionally, with pretty much all the older crime bosses dead as well, the landscape of power and control in Naples and its provinces will change, with Genny’s messenger Patrizia (Cristiana Dell’Anna) now appointed the head of his businesses, while help from the gangster’s broader family will be sought; that is, in order for the crime boss to purse more high profile projects, such as the construction of an airport and other endeavors that require influence in the Italian government. Italy’s ultra-successful series continues its drama of backstabbing and murder, proving that the illicit businessmen are no different at all to employees of a company that try to put each other down if only to merely win a little more money, and the only reason we don’t get to sympathize with the gangsters, is because we – the civilians – are as much terrible human beings as they are. Combining art-house sensibilities and the practicality of the television format, this is a unique experience that is highly recommended to all fans of the genre.

Set in a world where superheroes are a commodity, generating millions from appearing in movies and saving the world in general, the 1^st season of The Boys (2019 – ongoing) is about store clerk Hughie Campbell (Jack Quaid) who lost the love of his life by one of the costume-wearing freaks. He is approached by mystery man and overall tough guy Billy Butcher (Karl Urban) who wants to take down the Supes and have them pay for all the collateral damage they cause and expose the life of excess that they live in secret. After so much superhero mythology from Marvel and DC and the billions they made for the film industry, it was inevitable that something like this would get made, namely a high profile comedy with glorious special effects and splatter. What’s more, the soundtrack employs classics such as ‘Neat, Neat, Neat’ by The Damned, and ‘Cherry Bomb’ by The Runaways. It is fun, and maybe more so than many of the myriad brand superhero series that are out there right now. Simon Pegg plays the protagonist’s father.

Iron Fist - Season 2

Set in New York, the 2^nd (and thankfully final) season of Marvel’s Iron Fist (2017 – 2018) is only barely better than the previous one and it finds the eponymous superhero, battling Chinese organized criminals, as well as the scum that have taken over his father’s company, while employing martial arts and his superpowers. The main arch villain is Davos (Sacha Dhawan), essentially another iron fisted (a double one at that) warrior with whom the protagonist was affiliated in the past. A strong contester for becoming Netflix worst series ever.

In the 5^th season of Peaky Blinders (2013 – ongoing) the titular gang’s head, Thomas Shelby (Cillian Murphy) doubts himself in regards of his power and control, and goes as far as having suicidal thoughts. Taking place amidst the Wall Street Clash and the impact this has, the Black Country criminals get involved with politics (taking a socialist stance in particular, of all things), but their problems come in the form of Billy Boys, a Scottish gang of criminals that is known for backing up fascists, as well as putting their dead enemies on a cross. The series, taking the approach that tells us that the other gangsters are worse than the protagonist ones creates the expected interesting dramaturgy, but not much else. So, will the good bad guys win the baddie bad guys this time around? On a final note, the soundtrack is excellent as always, and aside of the title song (Nick Cave and the Bad Seed’s ‘Red Right Hand’), it also includes Black Sabbath’s ‘Planet Caravan’.

And finally, please allow me to speak a word or two about some recent mainstream films…

Dark Phoenix (2019)

Jean Grey (Sophie Turner) develops unmatchable powers and becomes the titular menace in Marvel’s Dark Phoenix (2019), and it is now up to the X-Men, and Professor Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) in particular, to control her before she becomes a greater danger to herself and others. This is nowhere near as bad as mainstream reviewers wanted you to believe it is, and it is quite unfair that it didn’t do well at the box-office (it grossed $252.4 million, on a $200 million budget), because in reality it is an excellent superhero drama that is very often enjoyable too. Sure, the special effects are the standard stuff you expect from this sort of thing and they had me thinking that they could have been achieved by any of Marvel’s TV series on half the budget the present film had, but what we have here is still above average.

Distributed by Blumhouse, The Gallows (2015) is awful, but clocking at 80 minutes (including end credits) it is short enough to not become a torturous experience. An introductory video lets us know that during a school play in 1993 tragedy ensued leaving one actor hanged. Fast forward to the present day (i.e. 2013), a bunch of students of the same school attempt to perform the same stage-play, and as it is to be expected by such fare, the consequences will be deadly. This employs the dreadful ‘found footage’ format, which is fine for 1 minute long Instagram videos (especially when the subject matter is cute cats or funny dogs), but it is simply way too boring when it is stretched to feature length. I really don’t understand how this blending of conventional narrative with amateur video aesthetics could appeal to anybody, but what do I know, as the film grossed $43 million on a $100,000 budget, which means that – you guessed it – a sequel is in the works. Maybe the best thing about it is the validation that happy endings are now passé.

Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2019)

A sequel to the same-titled film 2012, Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2019) is set twenty years later and after the near extinction of human kind which resulted to the inhabitation of a base in the moon that was previously under Nazi ownership. If you find plots about evil Nazis that were secretly refuging in the dark side of the moon (and why should you not, if you tend to like fare that is similar to the usual SyFy material), you may like this, but I couldn’t help myself thinking that all this massive budget (17 million euros – the film does indeed look like a super-production) was wasted on crap like this. The best thing about it is Udo Kier, playing once again a German.

Happily married couple of successful professionals Scott (Michael Ealy) and Annie (Meagan Good) buy a house from Charlie Peck (Dennis Quaid), in The Intruder (2019), but the problem is that the seller has a sketchy past and will not let go of his house at any cost, even if this means murder. Although it is actually well-cast, this standard thriller is laughable at times (the plot is often unbelievable) and the end result is nearly unwatchable.

Ma (2019) poster

The titular middle-aged lady (Octavia Spencer) in Blumhouse Productions’ Ma (2019) lures a bunch of teenagers from the local high school to party at her house, but it soon becomes apparent that her motives are not that innocent. Inducting discussion about bullying and its consequences as well as being left out and the desire to fit in, this horror film is both intelligent and entertaining. Plus it stars Diana Silvers (quite possibly her generation’s cutest girl) and Juliette Lewis (actually her generation’s hottest woman). Made on a modest budget of $5 million, this proved a winner at the box-office as it went on to gross $60.6 million.

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) poster

The titular superhero (Tom Holland, excellently cast, despite complaints by many fans) of Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) travels to Europe, where he will fight with (at first) and against (finally) Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal), assisted of course by the ever-knowledgeable Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson). This is tedious at times (at over 2 hours long it is oftentimes boring) but the fights are Marvel-ous and they feature the best CGI money can buy, which only makes sense when your budget is $160 million.

Crawl (2019) poster

Ultimately though, the coolest film of the year is Crawl (2019), which is set in Florida, amidst a Category 5 hurricane. The story is focusing on Haley (a very gorgeous Kaya Scodelario), who ignores the police’s orders and goes on a mission to save her estranged father Dave (Barry Pepper); the duo will join forces in order to fight against the many hungry alligators. Produced by Alexandre Aja (who also directed), Sam Raimi (no introduction needed), and Craig J. Flores, this is expectedly full of impressive visuals, but what was not expected was that a little ‘nature attacks’ horror flick that cost $13.5 million to make, would gross $88.5 million! If you fancy crocodile movies, you really can’t find anything better these days, and the crocodiles do indeed look amazing here.

There really is no plot to speak of in writer/director Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood (2019), which is essentially a movie about 1969 (a setting) and not much else. However, the cast is great (Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Dakota Fanning, Bruce Dern, Al Pacino, Michael Madsen, and so many others) and the overall aesthetics employed are so pleasing, that you can’t take your eyes of it for its two and a half hours. The ending is bananas as well.

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Static Age #5

The Day of the Triffids (1981) frame from the credit sequence.

As the present column is still in its infancy, moderations are still happening in order to make it as enjoyable as possible, and you will now notice that the film and book sections have gone, and we’ll be focusing on television exclusively. Have fun!

The Day of the Triffids (1981) DVD.

The spotlight of this Static Age’s goes to The Day of the Triffids (1981), directed by Ken Hannam and produced by David Maloney for BBC, which is considered somewhat of a classic of its kind (i.e. 1980s U.K. event television), but I found it to be quite amateurish. However, it is only 6 episodes long (25 minutes each), so it never becomes too tiresome.

I also caught up with the following recent shows…

SyFy’s 4th season of Channel Zero (2016 – 2018) is called The Dream Door and it is about a young couple whose crisis may be going through an emotional crisis (mainly due to the woman’s anxiety attacks and other such psychological issues), but the sex is still good, and they happen to move to a house that the guy inherited from his parents, which is the same that he grew up at. What’s weird though is that soon a strange door appears at their basement that wasn’t there before. It takes them some time to open it and they’ll wish they never had. Terror and fear in this creepy fuck written by Nick Antosca and directed by E.L. Katz, which is easily the best season of the series so far. Featuring a hideous clown that is as good with acrobatics as he is with murdering and that may or may not be real, along with the acting services of terror film legend Barbara Crampton, this is one that should not be missed.

Black Mirror - Season 4

Creator Charlie Brooker’s masterful 4^th season of Black Mirror (2011 – present) proves once again that what we have here is the Twilight Zone for the millennial generation. ‘USS Callister’ is about Robert Daly (Jesse Plemons) who by using D.N.A. sample drags his colleagues to a digital world where he’s the boss and bully. ‘Arkangel’, directed by Jodie Foster, is about the titular company that is implanting chips to our kids’ heads in order for our god-like presence to control them at all times. ‘Crocodile’ is about Mia Nolan (the gorgeous Andrea Riseborough) who commits a series of murders out of necessity, but the emerging surveillance technology may be on her tail. ‘Hang the DJ’ is basically a love story set in the world of a match-making program; it is a favorite episode amongst fans, but I found it boring. ‘Metalhead’ is about a robot dog that hunts a woman. ‘Black Museum’ is an anthology episode and it works surprisingly well.

Creator Jonathan E. Steinberg’s 2^nd season of Human Target (2010 – 2011) explores further adventures of bodyguard-for-hire Christopher Chance (Mark Valley) and his sidekicks, and is even more formulaic than its sophomore outing, albeit a bit more watchable due to that factor, featuring several action stunts (including fights, explosions, and shootouts) as well the mandatory attractive women that is the staple in such supposedly ‘cool’ fare. The ‘Dead Head’ episode employs Motorhead’s famous ‘Ace of Spades’ tune. ‘The Other Side of the Mall’ episode employs Joey Ramone’s ‘What a Wonderful World’ cover. The overall excellent ‘Kill Bob’ episode employs The Prodigy’s ‘Breathe’.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina - Season 1

While watching the 1^st season of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018 – present) I had constant debates with my wife on whether the series are pro-Satan (my opinion) or feminist (her opinion), but now that I write those lines I think that we might be both very right. Based upon the famous Archie comics, this is about the titular teenage semi-witch (Kiernan Shipka), who finds herself involved in all sorts of Gothic adventures that are reminiscent of the best works of Tim Burton (yeah, those from the 1990s). The soundtrack is amazing too, and includes classics such as Blondie’s ‘Atomic’, The Ronette’s ‘Be My Baby’, and Velvet Underground’s ‘Venus in Furs’.

Masters of Science Fiction - Season 1

The 1^st (and sole) season of Masters of Science Fiction (2007) is hosted by Professor Stephen Hawking and consists of 6 anthology episodes. ‘A Clean Escape’ is based upon a short story by John Kessel (adapted for the screen by Sam Egan and directed by Mark Rydell, and it is set in a post-apocalypse world while it focuses in the weird relationship between a psychiatrist (Judy Davis) and her patient (Sam Waterston). ‘The Awakening’ is about an alien invasion and it is featuring Terry O’Quinn and William B. Davis. ‘Jerry was a Man’ is based upon a short story by Robert A. Heinlein (adapted for the screen by Michael Tolkin, who also directed) and is about a trial that will determine whether a robot with human D.N.A. is a person or a thing; Malcolm McDowell plays the robot’s creator. ‘Little Brother’ is about a Kafka-like trial set in outer space; starring John Hurt. ‘Watchbird’ is set in a futuristic world in which drones that resemble small spaceships prevent killings with their laser guns. ‘The Discarded’ is based upon a short story by Harlan Ellison (adapted for the screen by him and John Olson, and directed by Jonathan Frakes) and it is about alien misfits; starring John Hurt.

Blade: The Series - Season 1

Created by David S. Goyer, the 1^st (and sole) season of Blade: The Series (2006) is about the titular Marvel semi-vampire (played by rapper Sticky Fingaz) that hunts bad vampires, and it consists of 12 episodes, the first of which is of feature length. The series are nowhere near as good as the feature that inspired them, but still very enjoyable viewing fare. The final battle is quite epic too. Bear in mind though that the show is particularly gory and is also featuring the occasional glimpse of a boob, so you may not want your kids to see it.

Also created by David S. Goyer (and Daniel Cerone), the 1^st (and sole) season of Constantine (2014 – 2015) is about the adventures of the titular British antihero-like exorcist (Matt Ryan) who has to face a variety of demons. I didn’t like the feature film that spawned these series, so I don’t know why I signed up for this, but I quite liked it (the special effects in particular, are amazing) and it is even somewhat scary at places (it mostly resembles a modern horror film, rather than a superhero one, despite it being a DC Comics production). It’s fun seeing all these church lunatics going berserk with devil possessions and all. Renowned director Neil Marshall directs two episodes.

Shootouts and car crashes are aplenty in the 1^st season of Taken (2017 – 2018), an actioner created by Luc Besson and Alexander Cary, based upon the same-titled hit film from 2008. The story here concerns ex-CIA agent Bryan Mills (Clive Standen) whose sister is killed and he is now out for revenge. In the meanwhile he will undertake several other cases, ranging from Islamic terrorism suspects to convicted serial killers. It is overall much better than I was expecting it to be.

Jessica Jones - Season 3

The ultra-gorgeous and as powerful titular hero (Krysten Ritter) of Jessica Jones (2015 – 2019) returns in the series’ 3^rd and final season, in which she will search for Trish Walker (Rachel Taylor) who has gone missing, amidst a perfect neo-noir backdrop. Once she is found (in the second episode, or so), it becomes apparent that all she really want despite her lousy job as a television saleswoman, is to re-connect with her sister, and in order to do that she will go as far as to become a super-hero of sorts herself. The problem really arises when the mighty duo will have to team against demented serial killer Gregory Sallinger (an excellent Jeremy Bobb). This is Marvel’s best series so far, and it is a pity it got cancelled.

The 2^nd season of Westworld (2016 – present) takes us back to the titular western movie-like amusement park in which human visitors have fun at the expense of human-like robots. This season starts from where the previous one left, namely the rebellion of the robots, and how the humans try via the aid of armed soldiers to restore the supposed order. Nowhere near as entertaining as the first season, this is one of those shows that are intelligent enough to make you think about big questions in regard to life and control, but it just not too much fun as a sci-fi vehicle. Being as philosophical as these series are, expectedly they offer more questions than answers. The movies were very exciting, this show not so much. J.J. Abrams is one of the executive producers and the cast is stellar (Jeffrey Wright and Ed Harris return and they are particularly outstanding).

Stranger Things - Season 3

It is impossible to say anything about creators Duffer brothers’ 3^rd season of Stranger Things (2016 – present) without revealing any spoilers, so since I am convinced that pretty much everybody will sooner or later catch up with Netflix’s best show yet, I will say nothing about its plot. Set in the mid-1980s and with cultural references to boot (from awesome music to amazing toys and from ancient household devises to obsolete cars) this a retro movie fan’s wet dream, although it also comes with several cool monsters (the CGI are much better this time around), essentially creating an unmatched entertainment event. Event series such as these should be better with each season and this one achieves just that by being the best one yet. And yes, Winona Ryder is still the most attractive woman in the universe. Highly recommended.

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Static Age #4

Jack Torrance (Steve Weber) in a frame from Mick Garris' The Shining (1997)

As nowadays I resort more and more to streaming rather than physical media, I decided to accompany the text mostly with relevant art and posters, rather than DVD and BD box-art, and I hope you enjoy!

The Shining (1997) DVD box art.

This Static Age’s spotlight goes to The Shining (1997) which is about recovering alcoholic writer Jack Torrance (Steven Weber) who moves temporarily with his wife (Rebecca De Mornay) and son (Wil Horneff) to an abandoned hotel in order to find inspiration for his next novel. However, what he finds is his personal demons that drive him mad as he becomes more and more dangerous for himself and his family. Based upon Stephen King’s legendary same-titled novel, this consists of 3 feature length episodes that were directed by his go-to guy Mick Garris, and they may be much more faithful to the source material than you-know which classic, but they’re not anywhere near as exciting.

I also caught up with the following recent shows…

Created and written by Nick Antosca, and based upon the ‘Search and Rescue’ story by Kerry Hammond, the 3nd season of Channel Zero (2016 – present) is about young woman Alice Woods (Olivia Luccardi) who just moved into a small American town in which people disappear during a series of happenings that may all be due to the superficial presence of some mysterious staircases. Starring Rutger Hauer, and featuring Riz Ortolani’s theme song from Cannibal Holocaust (1980), SyFy’s original terror series are offering one more winner season.

Black Mirror - Season 3

The 3^rd season of Black Mirror (2011 – present) anthological series is offering three more horror stories/episodes inspired by the dangers of technology. The first episode, ‘Nosedive’ is about a gorgeous woman (Bryce Dallas Howard) who wants to increase her social media rating and popularity and in order to achieve that she is forcing herself into a fake world of likability and pretensions, so terrifying in fact, that it may ultimately destroy her, in what has to be one of the series’ most intimidating stories, due to the fact that we’re not actually too far away from becoming the world it depicts. ‘Playtest’ is about American traveller Cooper Redfield (Wyatt Russell), who ends up penniless in England, where he takes a job as a game tester, only to find out that his worse fears will come to life and then some. ‘Shut Up and Dance’ is about several seemingly random people that get cyber-bullied into a scheme during which they would have to complete several tasks (as ordered by an unknown messenger on their mobile phones) if they want their secrets to remain secret. ‘San Junipero’ is an interracial lesbian love story, and I can only wish it would have been better, because as it is, it is the weakest entry in this season. ‘Men Against Fire’ is about soldiers fighting against some creatures called roaches (resembling a cross between vampires and zombies) and it is as awesome as it sounds. ‘Hated in the Nation’ is a feature-length masterpiece about an online game the hashtag of which allows you to vote for the public figure you would like to see dying next, and afterwards it employs technologically enhanced bees to do the dirty work.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. - Season 5

The 5^th season of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (2013 – present) kicks-off with a double episode in which the titular heroes find themselves entrapped in a spaceship in outer space, and from then on a variety of adventures ensue, in what has to be the darker season of the series so far and for that we should be thankful. Jemma Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge) is a nerdy doll, as always. Plus, the season finale is so spectacular that would be worthy enough of a Marvel movie.

Powerless - Season 1

Created by Ben Queen, the 1^st season of DC’s Powerless (2017) is set in a world where superheroes and super-criminals leave a lot of collateral damage behind them, and a company on the verge of bankruptcy is offering protection and prevention solutions, when young and ambitious Emily Locke (Vanessa Hudgens) is hired in a top managerial position with dreams of changing the viability of the company, the behavior of the stuff, and maybe the world itself. This satire of superhero movies comes at the right time as the market is literally saturated by them (even if the only real competitors are the Marvel and DC properties), but its low budget, short running time, awful CGI, caricature characters (the stupid boss, the moody secretary, the funny black guy, the funny Indian guy, etc.), and standard jokes doomed it into failure, and it was canceled after this, its initial season. This is a throwback to awful 1990s television and we didn’t really need one. Adam West makes a very welcome cameo though.

Human Target - Season 1

Created by Jonathan E. Steinberg, the 1^st season of DC’s Human Target (2010 – 2011) is about undercover bodyguard Christopher Chance (Mark Valley), who is assigned undercover to the most dangerous cases, involving breathtaking stunts. This is an all-around enjoyable action show that never fails to captivate its audience. McG was an executive producer. The show’s finale (an origin story of sorts, really) included a guest appearance by Armand Assante, but many other episodes benefit from guest appearances as well, by stars such as Lennie James, Mitch Pileggi, and William B. Davis.

The Day of the Triffids - Season 1

Based upon the same-titled Sci-Fi book, The Day of the Triffids (2009), directed by Nick Copus, is about a planetary event that blinds most of the Earth’s population, while in the meantime, the large and dangerous titular carnivorous plants escape from their facilities and prey among the human living. Radio producer/journalist Jo Playton (Joely Richardson) and Dr. Bill Masen (Dougray Scott) come to the rescue, but will they make it in this post-apocalyptic world? This television event (two feature length episodes) may be a bit rough around the edges (for example the CGI are really poor), but it is still captivating entertainment for fans of fantastic cinema. Although not exactly a masterful update, it thankfully comes with some clever casting choices (Brian Cox and Jason Priestley, for example).

But I also caught up with a few mainstream films as well…

Glass (2019) bored me to tears, and although it is not the only M. Night Shyamalan film that did so, it was the first Blumhouse Productions fare to achieve that, and I just hope the two don’t work together again. Sure, Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis deliver winner performances, but right now they are both at their top of the game and they do this sort of thing in pretty much every film with which they are involved, so this cannot be enough of a reason for you to watch this. As far as superhero movies go, this is pretentious and formulaic, and you should pass.

Happy Death Day 2U (2019)

Blumhouse Production’s Happy Death Day 2U (2019), directed by Christopher Landon, returns to the original’s formula (albeit, a very original one at that), as we once again see the university’s promiscuous girl (the absolutely gorgeous Jessica Rothe) and her scientist nerd friends, trapped in another time loop, in which they will die several times, until the figure out a way to escape death once and for all. Combining comedy, commercial cinematography, and all around Americanisms, this is a joy to watch, as it is both quite unique within the slasher genre, and entertaining too.

Marvel’s Captain Marvel (2019) directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, is about the titular superhero (the gorgeous Brie Larson), who as she finds her own powers has to fight her ex-trainer and super-villain Yon-Rogg (Jude Law) and a horde of evil green aliens that resemble Nosferatu the vampire. Set for the most part in the 1990s, this is full of fun references to that decade, both technological (I really didn’t miss the computers of that era) and cultural (I really missed Garbage and Nine Inch Nails). The film’s build-up is very slow and boring, but the ending is quite satisfying. Oh, and Samuel L. Jackson is in it for a lot of its running time, instead of doing just his usual cameo.

Master of the Flying Guillotine (1976)

And when I get bored by the mainstream stuff I catch up with (on those rare occasions that I do catch up with them, that is), I quickly resort back to exploitation favorites, and this time my relief was found in writer/director Jimmy Wang Yu’s unsurpassable Master of the Flying Guillotine (1976), a masterwork of martial arts, featuring a flying guillotine master against an one-armed boxer! This is grindhouse gold, and you should watch it immediately, in the unlikely case that you have not already done so.

And finally, I enriched my bookshelf with the following books…

Roberto Curti’s Riccardo Freda: The Life and Works of a Born Filmmaker (2017, McFarland) is an excellent and lengthy study of the Italian genre film maestro’s life and career, taking us from film to film and featuring critical analysis as well as interview excerpts from interviews with several of the master’s collaborators. Although I am not a big fan of Freda’s work (I only enjoy an occasional title of his, or two), Curti’s book is the definite authority on the subject, it leaves no stone unturned, and as such it should not be missed.

Roberto Curti’s Mavericks of Italian Cinema: Eight Unorthodox Filmmakers, 1940s – 2000s (2018, McFarland), is featuring eight essays on as many obscure filmmakers, including Pier Carpi, Alberto Cavallone, Riccardo Ghione, Giulio Questi, Brunello Rondi, Paolo Spinola, Augusto Tretti, and Nello Vegezzi. Packed with information, but also maintaining an entertaining narrative throughout, this is the acclaimed author’s best work to date, and will remain so until he tops it with his next volume.

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