Movie Review: Muay Thai Warrior (2011, Blu-ray)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Do you dig Muay Thai boxing? How about ninjas and some right on the money Samurai action? How about all of that tossed into one film? If so, this little Thai mini-epic might just be the tasty little morsel you've been looking for. Let me backtrack a bit, I've always been a sucker for any film featuring Muay Thai fighting. Muay Thai fight films really became popular on American shores when Tony Jaa burst onto the scene with Ong-bak in 2003. Since then Muay Thai films having been popping up left, right and center. The best of the bunch have starred Jaa and usually were directed by Prachya Pinkaew. Who is arguably the most talented action director in Thailand.

Jaa wasn't alone though, equally talented but sadly nowhere near as famous is Dan Chupong. Who stared in two equally impressive films Born to Fight and the bat-shit crazy Thai-Western Dynamite Warrior. I would also be doing Thai action cinema a disservice if I didn't bring up Panna Rittikrai. The man is responsible for discovering Chupong and Jaa along with directing Ong-Bak 2 & 3. While were talking Thai action stars JeeJa Yanin jumped onto the scene and showed fighting wasn't only for dudes. Her impressive skills were showcased in her debut “Chocolate” (Directed by Pinkaew) and “Raging Phoenix”. Her latest flick is going to be co-starring role in Tony Jaa's The Protector 2 which also interestingly enough is going to feature Dan Chupong as well.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #96 - Lorre's Peter

Dave, Jeff and Kevin are all together this week to discuss the upcoming Man of Steel, a wrestling documentary, some Blue Cheese, a great found footage movie, Peter Lorre, Sean Connery, George Romero, dogs with fecal fetishes and more.

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Movie Review: Same Time Every Year (1981, DVD)

Review By: Rob Sibley

How about that, when I finished watching this 80's porn flick I was surprised to find out that Fred J. Lincoln was the director. If the name sounds a bit familiar it's because the man played "Weasel" in Wes Craven's (Classic?) Last House on the left. Sadly Fred passed away earlier this year (R.I.P. bro). But looking further into Lincolns resume this flick wasn't a one off. He actually made quite the career directing adult features. He's actually made over 300 of them, that has to be some kind of record right?  Also a quick note, I think that gal on the cover of the DVD...she's not in the film, she's actually modern day porn actress (retired? Come on they never stay retired... just sayin') Temptress. 

You gotta admit a fan or not, vintage porn is pretty damn charming. Could be the nostalgia factor, the copious amounts of bush, bad acting, worse music and story lines that were more likely then not written on a cocktail napkin. Some retro flicks of this ilk shot their wad a bit further with intentions of artistic grandeur.  Radley Metzger was one of those filmmakers who'd actually deliver a solid film even if you removed the sex. This film though? Nah, it's not art house in the least. But so-what? Most people don't pop on retro-erotica for the thrilling story-lines. 

Movie Review: Onna Harakiri Sakuhinshu (1990)

Written by Yuuri Sunohara

Starring Yuuri Sunohara

This was my first personal foray into the seedy underbelly of Japanese fetish cinema, aside from a vomit-fetish porn I stumbled across while looking for Harry Potter books online once. And I must confess, before viewing it I had no idea there was a whole and distinct sub-genre of horror dealing exclusively with ritualistic suicide, otherwise known as Harakiri. Just another reason why I love Japanese cinema, those crazy bastards just have no boundaries when it comes to inappropriate shit. I'll simply refer to it as “art house snuff”, that has a nice ring to it and gives it an air of integrity.

Cinema Head Cheese returns to Phoenix Comicon!

Abnormal Entertainment will be scattered throughout Phoenix Comicon this year recording live podcasts. Come out and see your favorite podcasts in a series of mash-up shows. Check out the schedule below, and come out to see us! Click the image for tickets and info.

- Thursday, May 23 in Room 228A from 10:30p to 11:30p: Put It Together, Myriads of Thought and Talk Zebra get together for a live podcast.

- Friday, May 24 in Room 232A from 7:30p to 8:30p: Bank On Action and Unprotected Sports talk all avenues of sports entertainment in a live podcast.

- Friday, May 24 in Room 232A from 8:30p to 9:30p: Raise Your Spirits, From The Underground and Cinema Head Cheese combine for a live podcast.

- Saturday, May 25 in Room 228A from 10:30p to 11:30p: Brian and Jacob from The Gorram Nerd Hour will screen their short comedic horror film Lepus and host a panel with the cast and crew. The film features Taylor Made and Masked Blogster from Bank On Action.

- Sunday, May 26 in Room 228A from 4:00p to 5:00p: Cinema Head Cheese, The Gorram Nerd Hour and The Atomic Fallout Society give a Phoenix Comicon wrap-up in live podcast form.

Movie Review: Back Woods (2001)

Tony Masiello, of B-Movie Dumpster.com fame and director of the new documentary SOV: The True Independents, poops on Back Woods in the most hilarious video review of all time. Watch it in all its glory and then check out the two minute version of the film right below it.

Back Woods was written by and starred Cinema Head Cheese co-founder David C. Hayes many, many years ago and he just can't escape its enormous shadow.

WARNING: The review contains some foul language but what else can you expect. The poor guy just watched Back Woods!

Movie Review: The Song of Bernadette (Blu-ray, Twilight Time)

One really has to hand it to the early 1940's writers and filmmakers of 1943's "The Song of Bernadette", for conceiving of such a beautifully rendered and emotionally moving story, and yet, also making the film's complex and assortedly interwoven proceedings...based upon actual events, occurring and dating back to the mid-1850's France...so daring and intriguingly thought-provoking, in unveiling and expounding upon the political & religious hypocrisy and mediocrity, as evident for this specific time in history. In doing this, the film suggestively questions the concept of faith, and yet deftly turns around, and irrevocably affirms such faith, with an objectively compelling, heart and soul-affecting tale of dramatic intrigue, challenging the purest of innocence, faith and truth...with the scourges of stubborn & misguided doubt, suppression, jealousy and envy...and engaging the more tangled and provocative arenas of both religion and politics...

Bernadette Soubirous...a frail, naive and simple-minded young girl, living with her struggling and impoverished family, in the mid-18th century Lourdes, France...accompanies her sister and a friend on an errand, just outside of town. On the way, she succumbs to fatigue, as the result of an asthmatic attack, lags behind, and stops to rest, while her sister continues onward, across a small ravine, in order to collect firewood. While resting near a small alcove, near the ravine, Bernadette is drawn toward the alcove by a mysterious, albeit comforting breeze, followed by an inexplicable vision on a rock-like alter...a vision of absolute wonder and beauty, in the form of a woman, dressed in robes, enshrouded by a heavenly light, and holding a rosary in her hand. Overwhelmed by the vision, which in her mind, is merely & simply as she sees it...and nothing more, Bernadette faints before the alter. When her sister finds her and revives her, Bernadette dazingly relates the wondrous sight she has witnessed, and pleads with her sister to promise not to say anything of the incident, to anyone...

Movie Review: The Frankenstein Theory (2013)

Something horror films seem to be missing lately is the slow burn. Sometimes we see brutality within the first minute. That's okay, but not when it happens in every horror movie. It's nice to see a calculated build of intensity in a movie, and The Frankenstein Theory does a great job with that. It doesn't hit you in the face with anything. It lets the story and characters breathe in a fairly realistic scenario.

We start with a documentary crew on Jonathan Venkenhein (Kris Lemche), a college professor with an interesting theory. I know what you're thinking. Yes, it's another found footage movie, but give it a chance. I haven't been impressed with many in this genre either, but this fits perfectly in the vein of Troll Hunter. Anyway, Venkenhein theorizes that the letters in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein are actual letters that were used as the base for her fictitious novel. In other words, the Frankenstein monster is real, and was created in part by one of Venkenhein's ancestors. His intent is to take a documentary crew to Canada to capture the creature on film.

Movie Review: The Suckers / The Love Garden

Vinegar Syndrome put out a slew of cool titles to cater to admirers of the wild, sexy and wacky in cult film obscurities With three excellent Blu-ray releases of The Lost Films of Herschel Gordon Lewis, The Massage Parlor Murders and The Telephone Book the exploitation specialists have also unleashed a line of Drive-In style fare, affordably priced at under 15 bucks showcasing some more rarities.Arthur Byrd's The Suckers and The Love Garden are just one of those releases that are sure to put a smile on fans of sexploitation.

If you like it sleazy, you are going to dig the first film, The Suckers. Based on The Most Dangerous Game, this soft-core action flick pits a group of young models and their middle-aged boyfriends (sporting some amazing comb-overs) pitted against a vicious hunter and his murderous rape-happy goons. The Suckers isn’t too explicit but it sure is damn uncomfortable in spots. One scene in particular during the “big chase”, a woman is kidnapped and raped on a bed. Rape is hard enough to watch, but the way its shot almost makes it seem like it’s supposed to titillate. There are some unintentional laughs added to the craziness making this title enjoyable.  Only in the sleazy 70’s!

Movie Review: Serena: An Adult Fairytale (1979)

Directed by Fred J. Lincoln

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Serena’s life really stinks. As explained by Fairy Godmother China Leigh, as soon as her mother died, her wicked stepfather sold her into slavery at the local brothel. She spends her days scrubbing floors inches away from all sorts of explicit action engaged by young women, that if you watch them too closely, aren’t that pretty, and their skid row johns. Client Mr. Thomas (reliable old hand Jamie Gillis) is planning a big orgy for his friend, Prince Charles (ditto, Paul Thomas). Will Serena, or Cindy, or Cinderella, whatever – she’s referred to all three names during the film’s 68 minutes – break away to participate in the big orgy and win the heart of Prince Charles?

Movie Review: Baron Blood (1972, aka Gli orrori del castello di Norimberga)

Directed by Mario Bava

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Well-heeled, if vapid American college student Peter Kleist (Antonio Cantafore) flies to Vienna, Austria to take a break from his college studies and to look up his family's history. He's there to research his great-grandfather, Baron Otto Von Kleist, known in hushed whispers as “Baron Blood.” It seems that his great grandpa was a wealthy, sadistic SOB who tortured and killed the surrounding villagers at his castle, before a witch placed a curse on him and he was set on fire by the local peons. Meeting with Herr Dortmund (Dieter Tressler) the entrepreneur responsible for the current hotel project, Peter becomes smitten with Dortmundt's beautiful assistant Eva (fetching Frau Elke Sommer, capering about in micro-miniskirts and plunging necklines). During the course of a slow evening, Peter and Eva hightail it to the castle to read an ancient parchment intended to bring the notorious Baron back to life. They do so, and the Baron comes back to life and starts killing people anew. Now, how will they set things right after playing their ill-advised party game?

Re-watching this film so soon after the death of director Jesus Franco, who died last month at the age of 82, I was reminded how Mario Bava was one of the few directors who could get away with a zoom lens. A most hated camera move, as it cannot replicate the human eye, Bava was zoom-happy at this stage of his career. He did it so well, however, we could forgive him for its overuse. Bava always took great care to properly light and focus a scene, and so his zooms, always smoothly executed, were never intrusive. Quite unlike Franco, whose camera was frequently out of focus, indifferently lit and ragged. Those who think all of his films are worthy of study escape my comprehension. This reviewer hopes he hasn't stepped on any toes!

Movie Review: Sloppy the Psychotic (2012)

Send in the clowns...unless he's a recovering alcoholic who, once he falls off the wagon, goes on a killing spree that would make Jack the Ripper say WTF, bro?

Sloppy the Clown is Mike, a down on his luck guy who lives with his folks. The "Clean and Sober" signs everywhere indicate that because of a drinking problem, Mike has hit a bit of a rough patch while chasing his dreams. Fortunately, he does have the job he's always wanted: a performing clown. Much to his father's chagrin, Mike is very good at his job. That is until he man-handles a young child while she draws a picture that basically says clowns suck.

Of course, Mike is fired and when he arrives home, he leaps off the wagon and drowns his sorrows in what looks like peppermint schnapps. When he wakes up the next morning, there's a dead chick in bed with him. Slowly his memory returns, assaulting him with visions of rough sex and murder. So...drinking not only makes him an asshole but releases a psychotic rage. But a little dead-girl-in-mah-bed won't stop him from posting freelance clown for hire signs all over town.

Movie Review: Heaven's Touch (1983)

It seems lately here at the Blue Cheese we've covered numerous titles directed by smut pioneer, Shaun Costello. Just from watching movies like Forced Entry, More Than Sisters and The Passions Of Carol, I've seen an attention to narrative that I’m not quite use to when viewing older fuck films. The hardcore sex is a given, but that’s not really what makes a these films in particular unique. With today’s review,Costello puts forth some divine intervention with the comedy, Heavens Touch. It’s essentially a goofy light-hearted comedy that borrows much from Hollywood film Heaven’s Gate. And get this, Heaven's Touch is actually much more entertaining than Heaven’s Gate.

Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! #95 - Moore Fokken Harryhausen

The guys take on solo segments this week. First, Kevin talks about seeing David Spade do stand-up, three very different movies that he watched (including a documentary about twin senior prostitutes) and Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman.

Dave digs into comic books from Alan Moore and the movies spawned from them. He also looks at the Watchmen prequel series.

Jeff jumps on to remember effects wizard Ray Harryhausen and review a couple of fun movies from the 1980s.

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Movie Review: The Experiment (2012)

Apparently being British does NOT automatically add an air of sophistication to any project. Their low budget horror is just as shitty as ours (mostly) is.

The Experiment is about a shady organization that is conducting some kind of experiment on the unsuspecting public. Through vague newspaper ads, this company lures in folks desperate for money. The only way they get paid is to take a drug that's designed to heighten female sexuality. Okay so maybe the ads are specific in their demographic but not much else. The company is only interested in finding the 'right' candidate.

Cue our main character (whose name I've forgotten because, honestly, I don't give a shit) who has just lost her job as an exotic dancer. For some reason her husband goes to her work to watch her dance and then gets jealous when men pay any attention to her. Huh? After a huge fight, of his accusations and she accusing him of not turning away the attentions of another dancer, she's fired. And a new divorcee.

Movie Review: Dragon (2011)

Review by John Beutler

...early forensic science encounters martial arts mysticism, in this enthralling and action-packed period set piece, called "Dragon", from 2011. A compellingly thought-provoking storyline...an extraordinary depth in characters across the spectrum...a lush & rustic setting and locale, almost a character unto itself...and extraordinary performances, make this intriguingly complex and inner-woven martial arts mystery, an absolute delight to visually bear witness to. Martial arts action superstar Donnie Yen, having proved himself quite the prolific actor, over the past couple decades (..."IP Man", "14 Blades", "Hero", "Killzone", "Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen", amongst numerous others), continues to amaze and intrigue here, in his dynamic martial arts ability, coupled with an equally adept and compelling flair for drama, in a captivating tale of mystery, dark secrets and hidden agendas...

Movie Review: H.P. Lovecraft's The Dark Sleep (2012, DVD)

Review By: Rob Sibley

Nancy Peterson (Ashley Galloway) is an author who has just just gone through a nasty divorce. She needs some place secluded to work on her next book so what's a gal to do? Well lucky for Ms. Peterson her ex-husband Pete (Steve Diasparra) is a real estate agent. She convinces him to give her the house for free! Only catch is in the basement there is an odd pentagram that has a sinister look to it. Just paint over it you say? Well she can't, because apparently it's in the contract that the pentagram has to stay untouched. Don't worry she does paint over it (with little effect). During the first night of staying at her free pad she has some horrible nightmares and sees a giant rat (a charming rod puppet). The next day she has two exterminators over (One of them even looks like Super Mario) they are supposed to provide some comic relief but sadly the humor falls flat. I was just waiting for Mario to say “That's a spicy meatball!” sadly that didn't happen.

Movie Review: Mud (2013)

Review by John Beutler

...oh, the cherished memories of pre-teen summers' past...the freedom...the adventure...the self-discovery...the sense of reckless curiosity...riding that fine line between daring and dangerous. For myself, such adventure included braving and exploring the dry, barren landswells, which made up the Southern California Pomona hillside, near where I once resided, in my youth...regretfully, now overrun by generic, Stepford village trac-housing. Me and my motley crew of friends would sneak into the cattle strewn corrals, beneath these hills...taking the chance of angry wayward, rock-salt-shotgun-armed ranchers in helicopters, overhead (...truth be known, they couldn't hit the side of a barn, from point blank range, the bastards)...hiking up to the hills, and camping out, knowing full well that wild wolves populated the thicketed hill crevices...then, coming back down the next day, to the streets & abode-structured, rural 'civilization', with shoeboxes filled with tarantulas (...oh, how Mom LOVED that...). It is a boy's world, not all that far removed from this...a world filled with danger and intrigue...which inescapably springboards into the chillingly compelling, Southern fried drama, "Mud"...

Movie Review: Maniac (2013)

Review by John Beutler

Ya' know?? For a while there, I was worried...worried that this new incarnation of the uncompromisingly violent, brutal, perverse and grimy 1980 splatter horror classic, "Maniac", would suffer in much the same way as other attempts at making...or rather, remaking some of the more prominent and controversial '80's horror flicks (...like "Friday the 13th" and "Last House on the Left", for instance), in that the film would be newly rendered in what this viewer has previously & often termed as having a 'rustic slickness', which often tends to temper the overall tone of raw and visceral horror, notable in classics past. Well, I'm quite elated to say that this is not wholly the case, as the 2013 film, "Maniac" definitely exhues a most familiar, albeit slightly toned down and polished sense of dark, inner-city, back-alley filth and seediness...one of the aspects, which made the original film very uncomfortably irresistible to watch...though indeed, this new 'Maniac' definitely reflects a sense of higher production value, as compared to it's inspiration. That been said, the film...despite how respectably accomplished it looks, and how effectively the film unnerves and unsettles...DOES somewhat fail in ways that seem inevitable and unavoidable...in ways, which made the original film so alluringly embraceable...

Interview: Porn Legend Tom Byron

Cinema Head Cheese's intrepid reporter, James DePaolo, crosses swords...err we mean sword, to swiss army knife, with one of the kings of porno and his idol, Tom Byron! This one get's a little filthy, so enjoy you dirty birds!!

1. My god, Tom Byron, fuck I am truly not worthy of this honor. Thanks for taking the time. I have to ask a guy in porn,( esp. one that has over 30 years of films) have you ever went down on a chick, and she smelt so rank..if so what do you do..do you tell her?

TB: Thankfully, that's usually not a problem. When it is, I handle it discreetly. Not everyone does, though

2. How can dating a regular chick do anything for you, when you sleep with hot girls all day in movies?

TB: I really don't date regular girls. Everyone I come in contact with it seems has some connection to the biz... I'll tell you one thing. My schedule lately doesn't seem to allow much time for socializing in general.