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October 31, 2015

Movie Review: Some Kind of Hate (2015)


Reviewed By: James D.

Let’s be fair, 2015 has not been a stellar year for horror films. Some Kind of Hate, I feel is here to change all that. What It Follows promised to deliver but ultimately failed upon is what Some Kind of Hate delivers and keeps on delivering. In horror, when we hear words like “originality” and “ cutting edge”, we are always fearful of a film that is going to get so over-hyped that when we do get to see it our expectations are going to be so high that the film may not live up to it. Some Kind of Hate is a film that took a simple concept and really transformed it into quite frankly a very effective and unique film.

 The film opens with Lincoln Taggert who is that kid in school who is both troubled and does not fit in. He is constantly bullied and one day decides to defend himself. He gets in trouble and is sent to this reform program in the middle of nowhere with other troubled kids. When he gets there he meets a girl who he takes a liking to who is just as messed up as he is. He also meets a group of bullies like the ones who haunted him at school. They hear from Lincoln’s roommate that when he gets mad he gets violent, so they want to test him to see the violent side come out. Lincoln want to be left alone and just do his stint and go back home.

October 30, 2015

Movie Review: The Lazarus Effect (2015)

David Gelb directs this film about medical students who have found a way to bring the dead back to life.  This isn't a zombie film like Re-Animator since the dead come back fully functional, or so it seems.

The Lazarus formula had been in development for quite some time when there is finally a breakthrough in their testing.  Animals were the first subjects and when it finally worked, the results came as quite a surprise.  The formula not only brings the dog Rocky back to life there seem to be some unexpected side effects.  The Lazarus formula is put to the test later in the film when an unfortunate accident puts a friend in death's way.

Dream sequences lead you into a backstory that helps put the film together and expound on the motivation behind Olivia Wilde's character Zoe.  The limited amount of people in the cast really helps this movie as, with only an hour and twenty three minutes of run time, you have just enough time to get who they are and why they are important in their respective roles.

October 29, 2015

Movie Review: Hot Chicks Big Fangs 2 (Digital Playground - 2015)

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Movie Review: Vampyros Lesbos (1971)


I’ve actually heard quite a bit about this film, mostly from my male friends. So when it arrived I was rather excited to be able to view it myself! Imagine my disappointment, though, when it turned out to be a bootleg copy that had been edited to all hell so none of the tasty bits were left in. The only way I know that for sure is when I went to find stills to include in this review, there were a SHIT TON of pics of scenes with the same actresses (Soledad Miranda and Ewa Stromberg *rowr*) all naked and awesome but were NOT in the movie I just watched.

*all the pouting*

Vampyros Lesbos begins with a banal voice over about Princess Nadia being locked up by her husband, Prince Oskudar, centuries earlier. When her attendants all begin to die off, and she gets stronger after each one, we realize something is amiss with our beautiful royalty. Then one day she disappears.

Next thing we know, we are in modern times and hear Alice explaining to her therapist about the strange dream she keeps having every night. A woman’s voice calls to her over and over while a strange amalgamation of images flash by: a scorpion, a trapped butterfly, a soaring kite. Though the dream terrifies her, she feels compelled by the voice and longs to find the source.

October 28, 2015

Movie Review: PREY FOR THE DYING (Digital Playground - 2014)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock - October 28, 2015

Starring :
Chloe Amour
Jayden James
Karlie Montana
Mia Malkova
Nikki Benz
Stevie Shae
Danny Mountain
Erik Everhard
Keiran Lee

Synopsis
Six people are invited by the spirits of a haunted house to participate in a gamble for their lives in exchange of one million dollars! These young and horny fools don’t have a clue what gore is in store, as they embark on this scary venture around the house. They separate in pairs to find an exit, but as fear lingers, it hauntingly arouses them. Each lecherous couple screw away their fears and reach their most intense orgasm before the heinous acts of the night begin!

(Runtime - 2 hr. 11 mins.)
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Well since Halloween is upon us at week's end, I thought what better way to celebrate the season than with some Halloween themed porn!? And while the good folks at Digital Playground may have released this film at this time last year, as it turns out, their film PREY FOR THE DYING is suitable for any Halloween season.

As the story goes, the old house, which is now owned by a rather mysterious woman, who calls herself Ms. Lou Cifer(get it?), has a rather haunting past. The legend states that the house was once owned by a beautiful woman and her husband. One day the couple returned home to find that two men had broken into the house while they were away. The night ended badly for the couple, as the two intruders first killed the husband, and then proceeded to take turns raping her. Her cries for help were indeed heard, yet no one bothered to help. The reason? Everyone believed that the woman of the house was a witch. And because of this, the men, along with the townspeople, proceeded to burn her alive. In the years since the incident, the legend continues to state, that the property has been haunted ever since, and those that have dared to enter the house on Halloween, have never been seen again.

October 26, 2015

Movie Review: In the Land of Cannibals (2004)

Again, I have been absent too long from the CHC universe. I have a sizable stack of nothing but gems, I’m sure, to work my way through just for you people. You shall miss my snark no more!

My return is heralded by a juicy little morsel about cannibals in the jungle. Now, I’ve never seen Cannibal Holocaust so I can’t do a compare/contrast. I know...I’m disappointed in me, too.

In the Land of Cannibals begins with a troupe of commandos flying into the jungles of Brazil (via the Philippines) on a search and rescue mission. Some random General’s daughter went missing on some vague trip to the area earlier. So our merry band of Army brats is here to save the day. I guess. They seem rather inept to me.

With the help of a local guide (Romero) and his native scout (Isaiah), the group sets out to find Sarah Armstrong and anyone else from the original group that might still be alive. They have to worry about the People of the Lake, though, an indigenous tribe of cannibals. No on has ever seen them, of course, or if they have they didn’t live to tell the tale (so who exactly tells the tales about them?).

Luckily they have a prisoner from another local tribe - not cannibals but they DO eat people as part of some ritual (doesn’t that make them cannibals?). They use him to find his village where they might learn about the People of the Lake. But not before stumbling across a guy performing a ritual on his unfaithful wife (read: mutilating her genitalia, gutting her, then eating her uterus). I think I blacked out a little after that bit.

ANYWAY

October 22, 2015

Movie Review: Farmer's Daughters (1976) (Impulse Pictures/Synapse Films)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock - October 22, 2015

Starring :                                                           
Gloria Leonard
Susan McBain
Nancy Dare 
Marlene Willoughby
John Black
Spalding Gray
Philip Marlowe
Zebedy Colt
Bill Cort
Synopsis
An innocent afternoon of spying on their parents having sex (and then forcibly sexually assaulting the farm hand) turns even more vile for three daughters when escaped convicts pick their farm to hide from the cops! A horrifying, hardcore afternoon of assault, torture and incest follows as the convicts take advantage of the entire family, culminating in a shocking, perverted game of “Simon Says” and a weirdly mixed and edited final montage. This film is the very definition of “hardcore,” and one of the most eyebrow raising films in the Impulse Pictures library!
(Runtime - 61 minutes)
Will be released on DVD on November 10, 2015 (Impulse Pictures/Synapse Films)

October 16, 2015

Movie Review: CONFESSIONS OF A SEX SURROGATE VOL. 1 (Adam & Eve Pictures/Evil Angel Productons - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock - October 15, 2015
Starring :
Chad Alva
Richie Calhoun
Jay Taylor
Jenna Ivory
Ela Darling
Riley Reynolds
Kasey Warner
Katrina Jade
Synopsis
At the Cassidy Center for Sex Surrogacy, sex is both business and pleasure! These sexy surrogates not only help their clients with taboo bedroom issues, they also cheerfully hook up with each other and plenty of steamy friends.
(Runtime - 107 minutes)
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Directed by Alexandra Silk, CONFESSIONS OF A SEX SURROGATE VOL. 1, tells the story of the Cassidy Center, an institution out of Southern California, that exists to help out clients who suffer from a variety of sexual short comings. Topics, which range from the likes of erectile dysfunction, to premature ejaculation - the Cassidy Center, covers it all. Headed by Katy Cassidy, her team includes; Sexologist, Dr. Mark Hill, sex toy specialist, Bobby Lane, and sex specialists, Lindsay Sterling and Deborah Whitehurst, Together, they work out problems for a number of others. But not without getting out a few sexual kinks, of their own!. The film goes on to detail the daily proceedings of the Cassidy Center, and its employees, both on, and off the clock.

Movie Review: LOVE, SEX & TV NEWS (Adam & Eve Pictures - 2015)

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October 9, 2015

Movie Review: Chasing the Muse (2015)

Reviewed By: James DePaolo

Chasing the Muse is a really odd film to try and get behind. I am not familiar with Jean-Francois Davy, so I was excited to see what he was about and what he could offer. Davy has been around the scene for almost as long as I have been alive; his form of porn is a slant on humor which seems like an exploration into the female being more than celebrating the aspect of nudity. The first film I watched was the title of this film, Chasing the Muse.

It is basically an X rated documentary that also comes with his 1974 so called classic Exhibition. As you can assume Chasing the Muse follows Davy now in his 70’s looking for the next star for his upcoming film. Before Deep Throat and Taboo would shatter records in porn business, Exhibition was the film that was the first porn so- called blockbuster. (This is all in France alone) His life story is about all the women he has filmed and finally being the star himself which when he does talk, he just does not interest me. He seems to be knowledgeably but really does not radiate a personality that keeps me engaged with wanting to know more. He seems very picky in his choosing which I assume most porn directors are, but why Kitty. She to me was just not the beauty I was expecting and she is even more bland and juvenile acting than I expected. This is another letdown in the terms of a documentary that focuses on either porn or the people behind it.

David Cronenberg: A Halloween Love Letter



It’s important, in the discussion of Halloween (the season of gore), to acknowledge those individuals that have, truly, made a lasting impression on the visceral art of gore. We would be remiss without looking up. Not skyward, mind you, no self-respecting gore meister would go that direction, but more North. Canada, to be exact. There, among the socialized medicine, seventeen-year-old drinking age and football end zones the size of island continents dwells the oft-overlooked king of the literate chunkblowers… David Cronenberg. His films have nauseated us for years, from the gritty and gory Rabid (1977) starring the late Marilyn Chambers through Jeff Goldblum’s star turn in The Fly (1986) and everything in-between, Mr. Cronenberg has sickened us, for the better, time and time again.

It’s important to note, though, that his penchant for the macabre, including his use of the wet stuff, is part of the theme of his films… it informs the social commentary. Cronenberg is not a master filmmaker, he is a master storyteller. In being a master storyteller, every one of his stories means something. All of it has a message and a theme and, thankfully for us, he chooses to express that theme using some of the most disturbingly metaphorical gore scenes ever films. Metaphor. Wait a minute. Metaphor. Gore. Meta-Gore… is that new? If that’s new, then I have dibs on it.

The proof, my dear friends, is available in high definition and 1080p for our enjoyment. Videodrome (1983) tells the sordid tale of James’ Woods descent into madness and a societies’ reliance on the television for truth. VHS won the war against Beta, and the war for Woods’ soul, as his body assimilated a video tape in one of the grossest scenes every shot in the early 1980s. Need more proof? Exploding heads are always fun and the best ones blew up all over the silver screen in 1981’s Scanners. Yep, Cronenberg.

October 6, 2015

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - The Don Rickles TV Specials - Volume 1 (2015)

Kevin Moyers reviews some classic TV from a legendary comedian.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

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October 4, 2015

Movie Review: Funny Lady (1975, Twilight Time)

Directed By Herbert Ross

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

“Here, maybe this will keep you away from strange men,” Billy Rose Jimmy Caan), the harried husband of Broadway star Fanny Brice (who else -- Barbara Streisand) says as he hands her a wad of magazines to read before he departs on a business trip. “Are there any other kind?” Brice - Streisand replies without missing a beat. This is just one of the thousands of myriad pleasures had in Funny Lady, the 1975 sequel to Funny Girl in 1968, which introduced Streisand to an eternally grateful movie-going audience.

As the title implies, Funny Lady sees vaudevillian Brice as sadder and much wiser to the ways of the world. Dumped by her no-good first husband Nick Arnstein (the recently departed Omar Sharif), left with a daughter to raise alone, Brice is on shaky ground as Flo Ziegfeld closes the curtain on his latest production at the height of the Great Depression. Brash hustler Billy Rose (Caan) offers Brice his services to mount the lavish musical “Crazy Quilt” with her in the lead. An inexperienced producer, the over-produced spectacle (which includes a live buffalo!) flops terribly – until Brice wises Caan to showmanship. They retool the show, and it’s a big hit. Wedding bells ring for Brice and Rose, but life is complicated …

Where to begin? Knockout musical production numbers, lavish costumes and sets, hilarious routines – and not a misstep found anywhere. Along with Singin’ in the Rain (1951) Funny Lady can be recommended to those who don’t necessarily like musicals.   

October 1, 2015

Interracial Sex Havoc #10: 1991 – 1995

The Interracial Sex Havoc project is a reviews selection of films that contain at least one interracial sex scene. I am focusing on regular films (both independent and major studios’ productions), but select adult films are also included (there are tens of thousands of interracial sex scenes out there so it is impossible for one person to watch all of them – although I suspect that I’ve seen more than any sane person on earth). The present chapter is about movies released from 1991 to 1995. Many goodies are presented, including an Oliver Stone film and an Al Pacino flick. So, enjoy what is the present column’s longest chapter yet!

Introduction on Categorizing

Each month when I’m trying to make a choice of what interracial adult films I will include in my research, I find it peculiar that it is so easy to sort out what porn you want to watch with lists that divide the scenes in looks, ethnicities, sex acts, and whatnot. One would say that this is almost offensive. Then, I thought of what that is: Categorizing. And I thought of how useful this is with regular films. Because, simply put, when I browse the internet looking for a film, I like categorization. When I want to see horror, I want the rest of the stuff to be put aside. Heck, categorization goes back to Aristotle! I came to the conclusion that categorization is abusive only on dating sites and social media. I find it really cruel that corporations thought that we need to divide people by whatever means. Because, let’s face it, when you like or dislike someone, all those “options” are irrelevant.

The Reviews

Jungle Fever (1991)

A black man [Wesley Snipes, around the same time he was in King of New York (1990)] is happily married to a mixed race woman [Lonette McKee from Men of Honor (2000)] but he will soon find himself to a relationship with his white secretary [Annabella Sciorra from Cop Land (1997)].

What starts out as a film about sexual relationships (interracial ones at that), it then becomes much more; to be precise, a social commentary unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. Writer/director Spike Lee delivered the most important ‘90s film on the subject, and it deservedly won several awards the world over. It is hands down the best film in the present list.

The cast is impressive too and it also includes Samuel Jackson [shortly after he did Def by Temptation (1990)], Halle Berry [almost a decade before X-Men (2000)], Tim Robbins [The Shawshank Redemption (1994)], and Anthony Quinn.

In Loving Color 1 (1992)

This is the porn parody of the same-titled Keenen Ivory Wayans TV show (1990 – 1994) which I have not seen. It consists of five sketches that don’t run for more than 20 minutes each (all divided by the same ‘spot’ that is repeated again and again), but still they feel lengthy.

Movie Review: "The Green Inferno" (2014; Blumhouse Tilt/Universal/High Top Releasing)

...as they said in that old cigarette commercial, 'you've come a long way, baby!!"...

...yes, indeed-ee, folks!! We've definitely come a long way, as far as an semblance of depiction of that oh-so taboo subject of unspeakable horror...that oh-so forbidden atrocity of human behavior...namely, the subversive and gut-wrenching concept of (...yeech!!) human cannibalism. Oh granted, in the past, we're toyed and danced around the ghastly activity, from a pop culture perspective...tempering the material with a certain overt and irreverent level of chuckle-able, knee-slapping humor. Surely, you remember those corny and stereotyped 'Looney Tunes"...the ones which had a helpless and clueless, jungle-entrenched Elmer Fudd, soaking in a big ol' black pot of steaming hot water, while a black-faced, grass-skirted primitive with bone through his nose, and sporting dreadlocks (...'onga-bonga-bonga, onga-bonga-bonga'), is cutting up carrots and potatoes into the bulbous cooking vessel. And a wayward-traveling Bugs Bunny, having taken that wrong turn at Albuquerque once again, burrows in at the last moment, and saves the day...as well as Elmer's skin, quite literally...

...and to that...oh, how we laughed...and laughed...and laughed some more...

...and later, there arose a certain social fascination with media-saturated criminal history, and the equally heinous and unspeakable crimes of true-life cannibals, like Ed Gein and Albert Fish...the horrific exploits of which were incorporated into a provocative and controversial sub-genre of horror films, stemming back as far as 1960's "Psycho". and in years to come, we'd revisit these concepts, time and time again, translated into terror films like "Deranged", the later "Hannibal" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre". Heck, even during this period, filmmakers would again attempt to temper that oh-so horrific idea of cannibalism, by injecting comical fervor into the ghastly and gruesome proceedings, as evident by dark-humored fright films, such as "Motel Hell", "Delicatessen" and "Parents", just to name a tender and juicy few...