Search the Cinema Head Cheese Archives!

June 7, 2024

Bathtub Shark Attack (2023) Movie Review

 

If anyone remembers, about a year ago I reviewed an indie horror movie called Spirit Animal. Brought to us by Nekroshark Films, writer/director Madeline Deering has done it again with today’s review offering, Bathtub Shark Attack.

Yes, you read that correctly.

By the time I get to the end of the review, I’m sure I’ll have figured out exactly how I feel about this flick. But for now, let’s get into some details.

The basic premise of this one is about a down-on-their-luck couple who moves into a really cheap apartment, something that seems to good to be true. And you’d be right. Because the caveat here is a creature lurking in the pipes that demands flesh and blood!

 

Pretty straight forward, right? I don’t want to spoil too much of the plot since it just came out last year. And since it’s an indie film, it might take a little longer to get distributed beyond its native Pennsylvania and Ohio where I was able to get a copy (thanks for grabbing one, Jeff, while I worked the table with David at Cinema Wasteland.)

If I remember correctly, Spirit Animal opened with the rando bartender breaking the fourth wall to tell us about the movie. Guess what? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it because he’s back. He explains the tape; he explains the premise; and, again, he tells us about the game you have to play when watching with friends. Since the movie was shot in “Splash-o-Vision” every time a shark picture pops up on screen, shoot your fellow movie watchers with the squirt gun you got with the movie.

I watched a bit of the Indie-Go-Go promo in the Special Features section of the DVD and Madeline explains that they wanted to make the GORIEST shark film ever. I wasn’t so sure about that until we get to the final scene. But I’m not about to relive that moment so you’ll have to get the DVD and witness it yourself.


Lush just released their new Halloween bath bomb!


I have to say, there are GALLONS of blood sloshing around in this movie. There are probably a minimum of a dozen kills that involve some body part being bitten off, crushed in (with a toilet plunger no less), run through either by glass shards or projectiles. This doesn’t count the half a dozen characters who were electrocuted! And while, perhaps, the f/x weren’t super polished, I always appreciate practical rubber and corn syrup over trash CGI any day.

And Madeline certainly delivered! The blood, not the shit CGI.

The story itself is pretty standard as far as horror tropes go. Evil cult, immortal monster, virgin sacrifice, etc. And I appreciate that Madeline knows how to build a story, piece by piece, so we’re guessing what’s going to happen next (or trying to puzzle it out along the way). I’m not saying there weren’t parts I’d figured out right off the bat, but despite some general lagging in the middle, I liked the set-up, development, and climax of the story.

The one problem I had was trying to figure out when this movie is supposed to be taking place. There were a lot of nineties references (Melrose Place, the Nintendo gaming system the stoners used) but Chad references his record store job and how everyone wants cassettes now, not vinyl. Which would be the eighties. Also the woman in the beginning had a rotary phone which basically went out of fashion in the seventies and eighties…

SEE, THESE KIND OF INCONSISTENCIES DERAIL MY ENJOYMENT!

Anyway…

The character development felt a little lax but if they wanted to make this the goriest shark film ever, you’re gonna need a lot of cannon fodder and the audience can’t care about cannon fodder, amirite? While the acting was not good, I did find myself rooting for Chad and Bill the Plumber. In fact, there’s a scene between them where, after the power goes out in the building, Bill is dumbfounded by the fuse box and when Chad unintentionally sneaks up on him, they both do this pretend kung-fu dance that actually made me pause the DVD because I was laughing pretty hard.


How many times do I have to tell you NO GARLIC before lovey dovey time?


In fact, I think I did all my laughing at the scenes with Chad and Bill – not always together, though. Each character had his amusing moments. Probably the best with Bill was the epic fight scene with the cult near the end, and Chad jerking off with his right hand while he worked a Shake Weight in his left.

I do have to mention, though, for an indie horror, there was a particular LACK of titty shots. And I’m not complaining! It’s a rather tired trope so to only have a couple was rather refreshing. Hey, I get why they’re popular and why people demand them. But it was nice to see a writer/director do things a little differently for a change.

But if you want gratuitous nudity, there is an extreme close up of some lady bits at the end (again, I’m not going to describe it any more than that for reasons that will become clear if you watch the movie) and some shark dick. So…

I will spoil one thing for you. The number of times you’re supposed to squirt your friends with a water pistol (that I caught anyway): seventeen. I say turn that into a different party game and make it like going to a Japanese hibachi grill. Fill those guns with sake and the person you aim at has to drink!

So while this is not one of the better indie films I’ve seen, I have to say Madeline stepped up her game and delivered a solid horror comedy. Maybe not worth multiple watches but I’m not mad at the time I spent watching it.

3 hatchets (out of 5)




 

 

 

 


Get books, comics, graphic novels and more at bunny17media.com. Use the code CHC at checkout for 15% off your purchase!

Follow Cinema Head Cheese:
Website: cinemaheadcheese.com
Facebook: /cinemaheadcheese
Twitter: @CinHeadCheese
Email: cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com
Instagram: abnormalpodcast 
Pinterest: /abnormalpodcast/cinema-head-cheese/
RSS Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/CinemaHeadCheese
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cinema-head-cheese-movie-reviews-news-a-podcast-and-more/id393261942?mt=2
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=18843&refid=stpr

You can support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment on our Support Us page.

June 1, 2024

Static Age #27: The Changes (1975)

Victoria Williams in The Changes (1975)

This Static Age’s spotlight goes to the influential British fantasy TV series The Changes (1975), originally broadcasted by BBC. Based on Peter Dickinson’s sci-fi trilogy and directed by John Prowse, the ten-episode children show is told from the point of view of a young girl (Victoria Williams) and is about a strange occurrence that involves an unworldly noise that causes the collapse of society via its members newfound revolt against technology and machinery.

 

And now, let’s switch our focus towards some recent series…

 

The Haunting of Bly Manor - Season 1

The sole season of Netflix’s mini-series The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020), is about two orphan kids that live in the titular secluded mansion and are soon about to be introduced to their new nanny (Victoria Perdetti), who in turn will face a variety of horrors that lurk in the mirrors. Created by Mike Flanagan, this is a masterful and important event for the small screen format, and horror entertainment at its best. Atmospheric and eerie, it comes highly recommended.

 

The 2nd season of Marvel Studios’ Loki (2021 – 2023) finds the titular superhero (a gorgeous Tom Hiddleston) lost in time and space as is so common these days with similar output, but here the whole prospect is presented charmingly with the precise amount of humor needed, therefore resulting in an enjoyable 6 episodes.

 

Yellowjackets - Season 1

The 1st season of Yellowjackets (2021 – present) is about the titular 1990s high school team of female soccer players, whose plane crushes, leaving many dead but also several survivors. The lengths the survivors went in order to stay alive and the things they did are a mystery to the rest of the world, but this past may haunt them now, several decades later, as the now middle-aged protagonists lead troubled lives separately from each other and far away from their former friendships as students. Featuring breathtaking performances by all involved, and especially Juliette Lewis and Christina Ricci, this is a surprise horror hit that combines the survival genre with that of gruesome terror which goes as far as depicting cannibalism and outright slaughter. It is also one of the very few series to have managed to intelligibly employ flashbacks and ‘back and forth’ editing.

 

The 3rd season of The Mandalorian (2019 – present) has the titular warrior (Pedro Pascal, playing mostly with his voice and under a helmet) on a new journey with his cute companion baby yoda, in what has to be the best thing that happened in the Star Wars franchise in ages, let alone Disney.

 

The Punisher - Season 1

The 1st season of Netflix’s The Punisher (2017 – 2019) is about the titular vigilante anti-hero (a perfectly cast Jon Bernthal) who after avenging the murder of his family (with army-like force, as he is a veteran), now lives in the fringes of society. Bleak, violent, and dark, this is the most mature material to ever see the light of the day under the Marvel Television banner, and as such it should be cherished.

 

The 3rd season of American Gods (2017 – 2021) ends the series based on Neil Gaiman’s same-titled lengthy novel with an all-out war between gods. Boasting a rocking soundtrack (that includes The Rolling Stones and Marilyn Manson) as well as a phantasmagoric depiction of rural America, this is a very welcome addition to strange television.

 

And now, please allow me a word on some recent mainstream film releases…

 

King on Screen (2022)

There is literally nothing left to say about Stephen King’s beloved novels, nor about their several film and book adaptations (there are even a couple of studies on that subject available), so director Daphne Baiwir’s King on Screen (2022) documentary expectedly adds nothing to expand our knowledge, but its bigger sin is how formulaic it is, managing to barely scratch the surface and waste interesting talking heads such as Mick Garris and Frank Darabont without allowing them to go deep and steering clear of any attempt for an angle. The end result is entertaining enough, but it also a waste of time.

 

Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert De Niro, and Brendan Fraser, are among the key players of the stellar cast that leads Martin Scorsese’s three and a half hour epic Killers of the Flower Moon (2023), a story about a series of murders in a small Indian town, and the small-time operation that was mechanized in order to cover them up, motivated both by racism and profit. However, this is not – as it so often mistakenly stated – a commentary on capitalism, but rather a thesis on humanity and death, with a very intelligent angle on grief. Simply put, it is a masterful cinematic experience.

 

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

Ignoring all laws of physics and common sense via the aid of the most terrible CGI you could possibly ask for from a $215 million-budgeted disaster, director James Wan’s Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023) is as awful as these things can get, proving once again that DC is beating a dead horse with the superhero genre that is facing a horrible decline in recent years. Avoid at all cost.

 

Another film from the superhero front that is equally awful is the light-hearted and comedic The Marvels (2023) from the competing Marvel Studios, directed by Nia DaCosta, who is wasting her previously-proven talent on the altar of massive budgets. There is even singing and dancing here, in a desperate attempt to penetrate the Indian market, while all it achieves is ridiculing itself further.

 

Dario Argento: Panico (2023)

Released by Shudder, director Simone Scafidi’s Dario Argento: Panico (2023) documentary on the titular Italian master of the macabre and suspense, offers an interesting angle in going deep into some of the psychological issues projected on the films and the making of them, even as it opts for a linear and chronological narrative. Therefore, it remains conventional, but also becomes original, and as such it is enjoyable and welcome. Talking heads include Asia Argento, Michele Soavi, Lamberto Bava, Luigi Cozzi, Gaspar Noe, Guillermo del Toro, and Dario Argento himself.

 

Yorgos Lanthimos’ Academy Award darling Poor Things (2023) is about Bella Baxter (Emma Stone in a stunning performance), a dead woman rescued by the brain transplant of her baby, thanks to advanced surgery by Godwin Baxter (Willem Dafoe). She appears to have a personality that echoes autism and schizophrenia, failing to absorb polite society rules, but as she embarks on a journey of self discovery, she also sees the world and men for what they truly are. Gorgeous set and wardrobe design aside (this clearly the most artistic picture to have made it in the Oscars in years), this is a masterful creation with the signature of its author stamped clearly (look no further for the most creative use of the wide lens and the zoom ever committed on celluloid). This is an important work and a feminist manifesto, a thoughtful piece of art and the most fascinating art film since the 1960s.

 

Madame Web (2024)

Directed by S.J. Clarkson, Marvel Studios’ Madame Web (2024) starring the stunning Dakota Johnson in the titular role, is not as torturous viewing experience as the critics have told you – it is just an average superhero film, or a mediocre one – but is suffering from the same banality of the genre’s recent output which is lack of any sense of importance. Superhero films of the past decades, including the works of Tim Burton or Sam Raimi were highly re-watchable, while routine CGI-packed efforts like this are forgotten as soon as you leave the theater.

 

Directed by Gil Kenan, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024) is channeling the franchise’s original duo of films (by having most of the original cast return and echoing several other references in the form of Easter eggs) with the recent reboot efforts, maintaining a perfectly decent balance most of the time. The first half may be lacking as it takes forever to set-up the antagonist ghost, but the second half is rewarding, spectacular, fun, and overall entertaining.

 

And finally, I enriched my bookshelf with the following additions…

 

Nicolas Winding Refn Presents Jimmy McDonough’s last book The Exotic Ones (2023, FAB Press, Surrey, U.K.) which is a massive tome that you need two hands to lift it and it is about the wild world of the Ormond family which delved from exploitation oddities to religious blockbusters that thrived at your local church. Knowledgeable and researched to death, while also stunningly designed and presented, this is a fine and fun read, and ranks among the five best film books I’ve ever read. It also comes with a bonus shorter book called ‘The Most Exotic One: Georgette Dante’, which is also a joy to read.

 

Edited by Emma Westwood and featuring some of the most current and original voices of the field, the Midnight Movie Monographs: Bride of Frankenstein (2023, PS Publishing, Hornsea, U.K.) brief tome includes some fine essays on the legendary sequel, and gets quite original in its approach, as aside from tackling a variety of aspects including the stunning make-up work, it also gives space to some serious but fun queer analysis.

 

Based upon a story penned by Edward D. Wood Jr. and originally turned into a screenplay format by Fred Olen Ray for a film that unfortunately never got made, and in turn recently finding itself taking the pulp novel format by the latter ‘best selling author’, Deep Red (2022, Retromedia Press, U.S.A.) is definitely not a great literary event by any means, but it is fun and entertaining.


Get books, comics, graphic novels and more at bunny17media.com. Use the code CHC at checkout for 15% off your purchase!

Follow Cinema Head Cheese:
Website: cinemaheadcheese.com
Facebook: /cinemaheadcheese
Twitter: @CinHeadCheese
Email: cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com
Instagram: abnormalpodcast 
Pinterest: /abnormalpodcast/cinema-head-cheese/
RSS Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/CinemaHeadCheese
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cinema-head-cheese-movie-reviews-news-a-podcast-and-more/id393261942?mt=2
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=18843&refid=stpr

You can support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment on our Support Us page.