Movie Review: The Dating Game XXX: A Porn Parody (Vivid - 2014)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 31, 2015

Starring :

Penny Pax
Anika Albrite
Penny Pax
Dahlia Sky
Ash Hollywood
Michael Vegas
Tommy Gunn
Danny Wylde

Synopsis
It's just like The Dating Game, only Bachelor Number Two means he's doing anal! Welcome to the funniest spoof in game-show-porn history, with a behind the scenes, and on-camera look at freaky makeup artists, fetish-y contestants, and a host who can't stay out of a bachelorette's pants! The Date Game, only from Vivid. Great date night movie...just make sue she's loose.

(Runtime - 1 hr. 28 mins.)
———————

From the dating capital of the world, Hollywood California it's the dating game show that everyone knows and loves - The Dating Game!  Although this isn't your mom's dating game show - it's THE DATING GAME XXX, a porn parody from VIVID and Director, Hank Hoffman, who with this film, follow up their previous parody of THE NEWLYWED GAME, THE NEWLYWED GAME XXX: A PORN PARODY.

The film finds the game, which is hosted by the eccentric "Tim Slange"(Michael Vegas, as an hilarious take on real host, Jim Lange), playing host to Bachelor, "Paul Robert Davis"(Danny Wylde), as he will choose one of three Bachelorette hopefuls at the end of the game.  They will then win a date, which will see them flown to Boca Raton Florida, where they will enjoy an airboat ride along the Waxahachie Everglades, a couple's horseback excursion, and more.  The 3 Bachelorettes are Bachelorette #1, "Jackie Jean Bradford"(a freak of a lady played by Anikka Albrite), Bachelorette #2, "Angela"(a bit of a ditzy airhead, played by Dahlia Sky[here credited under her former stage name, Bailey Blue]) and Bachelorette #3 "Debbie Rickles"(a nice Southern Belle played by Penny Pax).  After Tim Slange divulges some details about the ladies(Jackie works at a nail salon. Angela collects stuffed bumble bees, and Debbie was born in the back on a deliver truck, on the night of a full moon, and so on), Paul feeds a round of questions, most sexual in nature, in which the ladies field. Questions having to do with things such as; fantasies, late night booty calls, and keeping promises.  The questions and answers, are fun.  However we soon find that it is what they all do during commercial breaks that is the most exciting.  Yes, after the ads for products such as Faboosh Laundry Detergent, and Bilco - hair in a can, are seen, the real action begins.  From the makeup room, dressing rooms, and back stage area, both the game's staff and contestants, just can't keep their hands off one another.  And lucky for us!

Movie Review: Krampus (2015)

Before watching The League on FX, I had never heard of Krampus.  But after hearing Jon LaJoie's character Taco singing Krampus carols and running around the mall chasing children as the fabled devil beast, I knew we needed a movie.

The previews for this film made Krampus look like a fun horror film.  The movie is also rated PG-13 so I figured this would make for a fun daddy/daughter day.  With everything being Star Wars at the movie theaters, it wasn't hard to find a seat.  The theater was actually empty until a couple of minutes into the film.

The two of us had a great time watching Krampus.  It was a fun horror film that included some recognizable stars along with some new faces.  Prior to seeing Adam Scott cast in this film, I was wondering what direction the film would go.  I was glad to see there was a level of humor to go along with scary parts.

Krampus doesn't travel alone and his helpers made this movie even more insanely fun.  Demented clown looking beasts, psychotic ginger bread men and evil elves assisted Krampus against the family that were not in the Christmas spirit.

Emjay Anthony was the real star of this movie as he was the one who started out with the most amount of Christmas spirit.  As more family members showed up to the home, his spirit becomes broken and a great storm comes along.  This is where things go downhill for all of them.


Although not a huge cast, every member of the cast mattered in their own way for Krampus.  Michael Dougherty did well directing the film and giving screen time to each actor.  Adam Scott and Toni Collette played the parts of parents to Emjay Anthony and Stefania LaVie Owen's characters.  David Koechner and Allison Tolman's redneck-type characters brought along their children and surprise everyone with Aunt Dorothy played by Conchata Ferrell.

While I said Emjay Anthony was the star, it is because of his interactions with Krista Stadler as his grandmother.  She is well aware of Krampus as you can tell by the way she talks in trailer for the film.  She gives us backstory to Krampus which is told through an animated flashback, which seems to be the way you do flashbacks nowadays.

If you're looking for some scary holiday fun, give Krampus a shot.  I know it's not Gremlins, but it's worth checking out.  I'll give Krampus three and a half out of five pile drivers.

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Movie Review: Off Limits (Wicked Pictures Passions - 2015)

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Movie Review: Auteur (2013)

Oh, fake documentary films. Stop it. Just stop. You and your ‘found footage’ asshole cousin need to go spend time in a sanitarium and get clean until you can be real movies again.

Ugh.

Auteur introduces us to Jack Humphreys, a doughy genteel film maker who just hasn’t been able to break into the movie business. But he has a genius idea. If he can track down the missing horror director, Charlie Buckwall, and tell his story, the high brass in Hollywood won’t be able to ignore him anymore and will give him a fantastic movie deal!

Poor naive bastard.

Who the hell is Charlie Buckwall? Well, I’m so glad you asked. Charlie Buckwall is an infamous horror director. And his last film, Demonic, promised to be a giant success. But for some odd reason, before the movie could be released, he disappeared with the only copy, basically screwing over the entire crew, cast, production company, movie house, etc. etc. etc.

THE KEY (Wicked Pictures - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 22, 2015

Starring :

Gigi Allens
Olivia Austin
Chanel Preston
Mercedes Carrera
Morgan Lee
Steven St. Croix
Brad Armstrong
Derrick Pierce
Eric Masterson

Synopsis
Four women are given the opportunity to unlock their passion and sexuality. Sexy Gigi Allens offers her friends (Olivia Austin, Mercedes Carrera, Morgan Lee, and Chanel Preston) a key to the ultimate getaway. It's here that they explore and unleash their innermost carnal desires. The result? A heart-stopping, sheet-clenching, sexual inferno!
 
(Runtime - 1 hr. 51 mins.)

———————

THE KEY, one of the latest films from Writer/Director David Lord, and WICKED PICTURES, presents itself to us, as four lovely ladies are presented themselves, with an opportunity that promises to be "once  in a lifetime"

In the film, four women, "Rebecca"(Chanel Preston"), "Sally"(Mercedes Carrera), "Lisa"(Olivia Austin) and "Michelle"(Morgan Lee), all receive the same mysterious invitation from an anonymous sender.  The invitation includes both an address and a key, with particular instructions to show up at the said address on Saturday, September 14th.  From there, we see the ladies arrive at a lavish mansion in the hills, with no clue as to why they are there.  However as they make their way inside, they are soon greeted by "Gigi"(Gigi Allens), a friend the group has not seen in 5 years.  Gigi goes on to state that the 4 of them were chosen by her, as she has given them all a key to the luxurious house in which they now stand.  She then goes on to explain the luxuries of the house.  Luxuries that they now would have access to, whenever they please.  The house includes a Kitchen with a bar area, a private gym, a pool and Jacuzzi, and even access to massages and facials, it's a woman's perfect getaway. And in addition, after 6 months of having their key, however, Gigi informs them that then, one of them will by chosen by her to host another round of girls. It's a reoccurring process.  But with that said, it is just the type of escape our four women need, because although they all lead different lives, they all are suffering from similar life hang ups.  First, Rebecca is a business woman, and the wife of a filmmaker.  Sally has an office job as an agent for a film company. Lisa is married, but discouraged by a husband who doesn't spend time with her.  And lastly there is Michelle, whom feels as though she isn't doing much with her life.  She wants some adventure.  Noting their issues, Gigi assures them that the private spot would be their remedy.  As the film moves along, the girls experience what the house has to offer at various times, some more than others, but each of the women have one thing in common, that the experience makes improvements within their lives.  And in some cases the whole experience turns out to be a life lesson, as some come to realize that all that they need in life has been right there all along.

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Call Me Lucky (2015)

Kevin Moyers shares his thoughts on Bobcat Goldthwait's documentary about comedian and crusader Barry Crimmins.

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Movie Review: A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy (1982)

Directed by Woody Allen

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

It is the Edwardian Age. Academic Leopold (Jose Ferrer), a proponent of secular humanism just as tedious as any religious fundamentalist, is off to the countryside to marry the far younger Ariel (Mia Farrow). They are set to reconnoiter at Leopold’s cousin Adrian’s (Mary Steenburgen) country manor for a weekend of fun before the nuptials. Adrian’s husband Andrew (Woody Allen) is a wealthy Wall Street investor and part-time inventor who terrorizes the local wildlife with his flying bicycles. Thrown into the mix is randy Doctor Maxwell (Tony Roberts) and naughty nurse Dulcy (Julie Hagerty). The sultry summer air weaves its spell on the sextet. It appears that Andrew and Arial are going through marital troubles, inflamed by the fact that Ariel and Andrew are former lovers. Everyone wonder aloud if it’s appropriate that Arial and Leopold are set to be wed, the differences in their ages at least three decades! Maxwell, while trying to pitch and woo to everything in a skirt (“He’s never lost a patient,” Andre declares. “Made a few of them pregnant, yes!”) however, befalls a series of comic injuries.

Things come to a head when Andrew presents his latest invention, a “Spirit ball,” a device that can reach into the unseen world to see the past, present and future. The resolutely non-metaphysical group is treated to a ghostly vision of a couple meeting clandestinely at the nearby lake. There is a death – but the film has a happy ending regardless.

Interview: Adult Superstar - Riley Steele (2015)

Riley Steele.  You know her as a one time DIGITAL PLAYGROUND contact star, and as a current contract star for AXEL BRAUN PRODUCTIONS.  Winning numerous awards as well as gaining a countless number of fans worldwide since coming on the scene in 2008.  I myself am one of them.  And because of that, I reached out to the blue-eyed charmer, hoping that she'd answer some questions for us.  Luckily for us, and for you - she kindly agreed.

RLB = Rick L. Blalock
RS = Riley Steele

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Movie Review: Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Luke Skywalker is missing and the First Order is looking to take over the galaxy in a way that the evil Galactic Empire never could.  The Resistance know they need Luke Skywalker to bring balance to the force as the Dark Side is clearly on the side of the First Order.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens is the seventh episode in the Star Wars cinematic saga.  Television, comic books, novels and more have attempted to continue the story of the tale but we, as an audience, are finally treated with a film.  JJ Abrams brings the fans of Star Wars the movie they deserve.

Action.  Good luck catching your breath during The Force Awakens as there is plenty of aerial combat, light saber battles, blasters and even a bit of fisticuffs.

New characters.  Our new bad guy is Kylo Ren(Adam Driver) and he wants to be every bit as bad as Darth Vader and the voice is awesome.  Domhall Gleeson and Andy Sirkis are added to the baddies as General Hux and Supreme Leader Snoke respectively.  Finn(John Boyega) is a Storm Trooper who is having a bit of an identity crisis and is a great addition.  Poe Dameron(Oscar Isaac) is the likable hot shot pilot.  Rey is played by Daisy Ridley who absolutely shines in Star Wars: The Force Awakens.  Rey and the newest droid, BB-8, are the true stars of this movie and truly make everything go.

Movie Review: CBGB (2013)

Hilly Kristal(Alan Rickman) isn't known as a great business man but he is known as someone with vision.  Vision to see past bleak walls and empty floor space in a bar located in the Bowery in New York City.  Hilly decides to open up the "CBGB" as he intends to bring in the next big thing in music; Country, Blue Grass, and Blues.  What happens is something a bit different, but does bring in Other Music For Uplifting Gormandizers.  The movie plays out much like a comic magazine.  scenes would change by showing what looked like a comic book page with panels and word blurbs.  I liked how it played out and it kept the movie fun and engaging.

"CBGB" does not claim to be one hundred percent historically accurate but it does serve for excellent entertainment and absolutely incredible music.  The film starts out with the founders of "Punk" magazine, John Holmstrom(Josh Zuckerman) and Legs McNeil(Peter Vack), drawing and discussing their vision of their upcoming issues.  This is the one part of the film that I wish would have been explored more.  I would have found it fascinating to see how a magazine in the 1970s would get off the ground from someone's basement.  The two founders do show up throughout the film however to interview different punk music artists.  It was cool to hear quotes from the artists and also see the cartoon artwork from the magazine.

Now back to the club where Hilly is needing to book some musical talent.  This is where Terry Ork(Johnny Galecki) comes in.  He is the agent of a band called "Television" and they are looking for a place to play.  Despite what the initials "CBGB" stand for, "Television" auditions anyway.  Hilly, being the visionary he is, agrees to let the punk band play shows at the "CBGB."  This is where things change.  "Televison" receives a great review and now the "CBGB" is the place to be.  Other bands/singers go on to play the CBGB like; Blondie, The Dead Boys, Talking Heads, The Ramones, Patti Smith and many others.

While I loved the music in "CBGB," I was not a fan of the quality of sound.  These were supposed to be live events inside of a dive bar but every song played was the studio version.  There was a level of rawness that went missing and may have been a large part of why this film did not do well theatrically or with many critics.  There wasn't much of a timeline for this film either.  The news was on at the bar, but unless you really know when those events took place, you may not know what year you're in(unless it all happened within a couple months).

I did enjoy "CBGB" as it is a comical look at a life with ups and many downs.  I was entertained by the rise of a small club that was a beacon for amazing music and it was thanks to Hilly Kristal.  The movie didn't claim to be more than what it was, an entertaining and partially true look at Hilly Kristal's life.  In the credits, at the end there is even a call out of how the filmmakers know Iggy Pop never played the "CBGB" and for the viewers to, "get over it."

There were some interesting casting choices which, for the most part I liked.  Malin Ackerman as Debbie Harry, Taylor Hawkins as Iggy Pop, Justin Bartha as Stiv Bators, Rupert Grint as Cheetah Chrome and Mickey Sumner looked great as Patti Smith.  The casting of Joel David Moore as Joey Ramone was not my favorite.  It was a bit distracting but at least there weren't many lines.

On the scale of up to five Pile Drivers, I am giving "CBGB" four.  A fun movie about an era of music I really enjoy.  The soundtrack alone makes it worth checking out for me.

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Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - The Seven Five (2015)

Kevin Moyers reviews a documentary about criminal New York cops in the 1980s.

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Movie Review: Catfished (Digital Playground - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 17, 2015

Starring :

Riley Reid
Eva Lovia
Holly Heart
Zoe Monroe
Daniel Hunter
Derrick Pierce
Jessy Jones
Mr. Pete
Steven St. Croix

Synopsis
A sexy divorcee yearns for love, but is looking in all the wrong places. Her ex has already moved in between the legs of a much younger busty blonde, and her best friend is happily consummating her marriage. Nevertheless she has one guy, but he’s mostly interested in screwing her than committing. In a desperate attempt she makes an online profile and meets an incredible guy. They’ve tried to meet several times, but sadly never do.  She’s sexually frustrated, but can’t get away from sex because her horny neighbors can’t stop fornicating! In the end, she demands they meet, but will she find the man of her dreams, or discover a lie?

(Runtime - 2 hr. 18 mins.)

———————

With this film, Writer/Director Jakodema and Digital Playground explore the subject of "Catfishing".  It is when someone assumes a false identity online, to lead someone on, sometimes with a hidden agenda in mind.

In CATFISHED, that is exactly what happens to Jesse.  In the film, Jesse, is a young women, whom has been divorced from her ex-husband Eric(Mr. Pete), for 3 years.  Despite hoping to find love again, things just aren't working out between she and the guy, which she is occasionally dating, Keiran(Daniel Hunter).  Because of this, her friend, "Kayden"(Eva Lovia), has often suggested that she try her hand at an online dating profile.  An idea, that until now, she has strongly opposed.  However, she eventually gives in, as she creates a profile on the dating website, "Your Ass, or Mine?".  It turns out that Jesse, is a big hit among the men on the site, as she receives a number of responses after the first night.  After sorting through all of the potential hopefuls, Jesse is able to narrow it down to one guy.  A man named Johnny.  Johnny has a lot of qualities that Jesse likes; he's a High School Literature teacher, he's active, and enthusiastic.  But perhaps the thing that the two have most in common, is that they both have had their heart broken in some way(Jesse with her divorce, and Johnny with the death of his wife).  It seems as though they take comfort in each other.  From then on, Jesse and Johnny continue a relationship, as the two continuously keep in touch via text, and by talking on the phone.  For the two, it would seem that they are a perfect match, as this continues on for about a year.  That is when Jesse grows a little restless in her desire to meet the "man of her dreams".  They arrange meetings only to have Johnny cancel at the last minute, as he always seems to have the perfect excuse.  Of course, this brings Jesse down, which is why she is very excited when Johnny agrees to let Jesse come to him as the two finally meet.  However, it is when they do finally meet, that a, once again heartbroken Jesse, comes to realize that not all is always what it seems in the often anonymous world on online dating.

Movie Review: Starmaker (Wicked Pictures - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 16, 2015

Starring :

Asa Akira
Amia Miley
Courtney Taylor
Jeanie Marie Sullivan
Jessica Drake
Kalina Ryu
Kaylani Lei
Tommy Pistol
Brad Armstrong
Kurt Lockwood

Synopsis
Award Winning Director Brad Armstrong brings you his latest Adult Saga. STARMAKER is full of incredible performances from an A-List ensemble cast, as the viewer is plunged into the over-indulgent, sex-fueled world of Hollywood. In a town where secret deals, casting couches and double-crosses are the norm, nothing is ever as it seems.

(Runtime - 3 hr. 39 mins.)

———————

STARMAKER, one of the latest releases from award winning Writer/Director Brad Armstrong and WICKED PICTURES is a film about the darker side of the ins and outs of Hollywood. From those who are prominent, to those who will do almost anything to get there.

The latter is represented in the film by a pair of individuals, Jeremy Quinn(Tommy Pistol) and Mia Tanaka(Asa Akira), who meet each other by chance one day, while the two were sitting down at a coffee shop.  The opportunist that is Jeremy, who happens to be an aspiring screenwriter, is quick to notice from the script in her hand, that Mia herself is a struggling actress,  Mia, as she goes on to explain hasn't had much success in the business as of yet, with most of her work being as an extra, and type casted bit parts.  From there, Jeremy takes the opportunity to feed her mind a little, promising to cast her in his "upcoming" movie, as well as get her in on some choice auditions.  However, these are all lies, as Quinn really has no real clue, better yet any real connections.  However, the thing is that Mia, is so naive that she believes every word.  This of course leads the two to sleeping together, and somehow, a short time later, Jeremy somehow gets he and Mia into the exclusive house party of famous Producer, Martin Anderson.  Of course, Jeremy doesn't really personally know Martin, yet he pretends to, just long enough to proverbially waive Mia under the Producer's nose.  As it turns out, Martin has a particular liking for Asian girls.  Jeremy is well aware of this, and hopes that he will take the bait.  He does, and he soon offers Mia an audition for a part in one of his latest pictures.  It is just what Jeremy needed, as he is now "in the door" at this point.  Although this very much involves Mia, he sees this as an opportunity to further his writing career(which up until that point, is pretty much non-existent).  From there, Jeremy also continues to use Mia's naivety to his advantage.  He suggests that when she go to the proposed audition, she come on to him, and should Martin give in, there they could catch it all on video.  They could then use said evidence to blackmail the Producer into giving them jobs(of course Mia as an Actress, and Jeremy as a Writer), thus furthering their individual careers.  The initially reluctant Mia eventually gives in, and their plan is set into motion.  All at first, seems to go as planned, but when Martin's wife, Elise catches wind of the fling, as well as the black mail scheme, Martin and Elise(along with their security guy, Curtis) put the pressure on both Jeremy and Mia.  This eventually puts strain on their partnership, forming a wedge between them.  But as Martin and Elise continue to turn Jeremy and Mia against one another, a hurt and distraught Jeremy resorts to actions that turn the situation on its head, as dark secrets are revealed, along with proof that, as long as money and greed are involved, no one can be trusted.

Erotica FM (Digital Playground - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 15, 2015

Starring :

Stella Cox
Anissa Kate
Cathy Heaven
Jasmine James
Samantha Bentley
Sienna Day
Subil Arch
Tamara Grace
Ben Kelly
Freddy Fox
Juan Lucho
Marc Rose
Potro Bilbao
Ryan Ryder

Synopsis
Erotica FM: a late-night confession show where callers share their stories over the airwaves with sexy and classy radio host, Miranda (Stella Cox). As Miranda’s listeners recount their tawdry tales live on air, and as they do, their tales of sexual conquests are brought to life.

(Runtime - 3 hr. 10 mins.)
———————


In the film, EROTICA FM, Stella Cox is a DJ for a late night radio show.  In the adult oriented show, the host asks callers to phone in with their most erotic, sexually charged confessions.  As we find out, Stella's show is rather popular, bringing in a number of callers.  On this night, as callers call in and make their sexual confessions, we as viewers are treated to the visuals of each tale, as we see them play out before our eyes.  EROTICA FM, presents to us 5 different scenes featuring a variety of different themes, as well as sexual encounters.  We have a woman who comes on to her boss, a lonely housewife, who longs for sexual satisfaction from her husband, a kinky threesome, a bachelorette who has one last fling before getting married, as well as a radio host who seems to have a sexual appetite that rivals even her most kinkiest of callers.

Movie Review: American Heist (2014)

James Kelly(Hayden Christensen) is doing everything he can to get by.  Living in New Orleans post-Katrina and trying to better his life after a stint in prison has proved to make things difficult.  James' situation doesn't get any easier when his brother Frankie(Adrien Brody) is released from prison and gets the two brothers mixed up in a heist.

Sounded promising.  I love a good heist movie so what can go wrong here?  I wasn't expecting this movie to "wow" me but what it did do, I didn't expect.

Nothing.

Okay, maybe not "nothing" but it sure didn't do much.  When I think of a heist movie, I think of something where there's a well thought out plan.  Heck, even if the plan doesn't work, something cool usually happens.

Not here.

I do get that we were supposed to be attached to the inner struggle of Hayden Christensen's character.  The troubles with his brother, winning back the affection of his lost love Emily(Jordanna Brewster), trying to get a small business loan and being a terrible auto mechanic.  He tells Emily he needs to replace the carburetor in her new Fiat.  I do feel that if this was the direction of the film, there should have been more exploration into the lives of those involved in James' life.  Jordanna Brewster was a nice surprise for the film and there probably should have been more done with her.

So with the world taking a crap on James, Frankie is out of prison and gets him in on the worst heist ever.  It didn't even feel like the heist was supposed to be successful as Ray(Tory Kittles), the co-leader of the group, just wants to stick it to the banks and going for a Grand Theft Auto video game looking life.  Sugar(Akon) is the other leader of the group.  Must be because he did the music for the film.   I'm really glad this movie was only an hour and thirty four minutes.

There were also some weird camera angles.  Not sure if they strapped Go-Pro cameras to the actors and told them to bob their heads while they walk.  I don't know where the accents are from either.

Watch at your own peril.  American Heist gets 1.5 out of 5 Pile Drivers.

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Secret Spa (Adam & Eve Pictures - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 11, 2015

Starring :

Aidra Fox
Penny Pax
Shay Fox
Misty Stone
Miko Day
Dillion Harper
Ryan McLane
Jay Smooth
Steven Lucas
Bradley Remington
Chad White

Synopsis
When the rich and beautiful look to fulfill their sexual fantasies, they head to Malibu Sunrise Resort, where discretion is guaranteed and the staff is devoted to your pleasure. Do you desire an interracial romp, threesome, lesbian love, or some playful S&M? Whatever you crave, Secret Spa is the perfect place to get the release your body needs, and where facials are always on the house!

(Runtime - 2 hr. 28 mins.)

———————

In the film SECRET SPA from ADAM & EVE and Director Jay Allan, the plot centers around the titular spa in Malibu.  That spa, is the Malibu Sunrise Resort, and it is only open for the elite and wealthy,  The Malibu Sunrise Resort, which is overseen by a character played by Chanel Preston, opens its doors only once every summer, offering its prominent clietelle an abundance of pampering, as well as any sexual desire that they may so crave.  It's a getaway, that only those only "in the know", know about.  The film opens as summer is upon us, and as a result, a few lucky clients have showed up, including; movie company executive, Jenny Clark, singer Heather Sage, and fashion designer, Kelly Jones.  And making her first trip to the secret resort this year, is also Lori Miller. Each of the ladies are looking to explore sexually during their stay at the resort.  Sexual acts such as; Interracial, group sex, girl/girl and BDSM.  The film goes on to essentially give the viewer a "peek behind the curtain", as these clients dive into their curiosity at full throttle, at this all-exclusive resort.

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - A Very Murray Christmas (2015)

Kevin Moyers talks about a new holiday special straight from Netflix.

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Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - American Ultra (2015)

Kevin Moyers reviews an action film that flew way under the radar.

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Movie Review: The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

by Hal Astell

Director: Joseph Green

Stars: Herb Evers, Virginia Leith and Leslie Daniels

Buy The Brain That Wouldn't Die on Blu-ray from Scream Factory

'Let me die!' a woman's voice repeatedly pleads before the title credits begin, in fact before we see anything. It's a disembodied voice out of nowhere that suggests a female version of Johnny Got His Gun, or at least that begins where that book and film ends. It's all very promising but sadly it's all downhill from there, which possibly explains why this was completed in 1959 under the title The Black Door but wasn't released until 1962 under its current more lurid title. It isn't without merit, as it does contain a number of memorable cult moments, not least one of the most abiding images of all sixties genre cinema, but it still can't live up to the title. It comes from the common mad scientist subgenre of horror/science fiction movies of the time but unlike their progenitor Frankenstein which remains as timeless as ever, this has already been superceded as the unholy transplantation of limbs and organs that it rages against is routinely beneficial today.



It's fascinating to watch these movies and see public opinion, as distilled through scriptwriters trying to please the largest audience possible, change over the decades. This film is only half a century old, but it already seems quaint and dated to those of us who have benefited from or know people who have benefited from the very transplant techniques that are derided by the characters as immoral, unethical and insane. Much of the problem is that the overtly schlocky characteristics of a mad scientist are so much easier to write than his more sophisticated drives, especially if you ignore the idea that science is constantly moving forward; and naturally scriptwriters of schlocky low budget genre movies from the fifties and sixties really couldn't give a transplanted rat's ass for anything sophisticated. They could happily start at 'Burn the witch!' and work backwards from there to generate a salacious heap of scientific gobbledygook.

Movie Review: Cooties (2015)

Reviewed by:

James DePaolo

Cooties is a reminder that horror can be fun and still be effective. The last film I really remember having a blast in and the audience was into it was the remake of Evil Dead. (Then they forgot they had fun in the theater and ran home to post hate on the imdb to be hip) This film felt like Faculty meets Zombieland, in which we get a group of teachers running away from zombie virus infected brats in a small town of Ft. Chicken. Ft. Chicken is famous for their poppable pullet nuggets that they supply to the local schools for the kids’ lunches. Cooties is the example of what old school film fans vs new school everyone is an idiot critic fan. While some are going to complain that this is nothing more than a zombie film with some moments of craziness, they seem to forget that because they watch a film with their cell phone in one hand and an attitude that they are above any film moment that film is not meant to be taken so serious. Films are meant to enjoy, to let the story unfold and stick with it. While I admit some films are far more a task than others, but come on people does everything have to suck or be shit? What do you want a multiplex full of paranormal smart films that give you zero horror but you can experience the boredom of people who are just like you?

Movie Review: The Bounty (1984)

Directed by Roger Donaldson

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

In this more “historically accurate” version of the HMS Bounty incident of the late 18th Century, Commanding Lieutenant William Bligh (Anthony Hopkins) goes before court at Greenwich to face charges that he let his ship slip into mutiny. Electing his friend Fletcher Christian (a young Mel Gibson) to lead the expedition to gather breadfruits for good King George – the one who let the American colonies slip through his fingers, the Bounty sails for Tahiti. The Bounty’s mostly young crew is lacking in discipline, and Bligh is forced to resort to strict corporal discipline.

When the ship fails to navigate around Cape Horn due to inhospitable weather, the Bounty must resort to take the longer eastern route. Finally arriving in Tahiti in October of 1788, the Bounty’s crew grows dissolute drinking rum, chasing after the local Pacific Islander beauties and getting tattoos – very much like the twenty-somethings of today.

It is here that Christian fails Bligh by falling in love and conceiving a child with local orchid Mauatua (). Gathering the men for the trip back to Great Britain – after several months of luxuriating in a tropical paradise, the crew grows increasingly rebellious. Floggings and harsh disciplinary actions fail to do the trick, and when Bligh threatens to sail around Cape Horn, knowing that the harsh weather will lead to the loss of crewmate, Christian rebels and sets Bligh and his followers on a raft with minimal provisions. Aware that their actions will lead to executions back in England, the various crewmembers resort to drastic measures to cover their tracks …

Movie Review: Peter Pan XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (Wicked Fairy Tales - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock   - December 2, 2015

Starring :

Keira Nicole
Aiden Ashley
Mia Malkova
Riley Steele
Vicki Chase
Ryan Ryder
Steven St. Croix
Tommy Gunn
Dane Cross
Jay Crew
Jake Taylor

Synopsis
Legendary director Axel Braun puts his sexy spin on the timeless story of Peter Pan in the fourth Wicked Fairy Tales release. Take a magical trip to Neverland with Wendy, Tiger Lily, and two very mischievous mermaids as they help Peter fight the villainous Captain Hook and rescue Tinker Bell, played to perfection by Riley Steele. With an all-star cast, steamy sex, and the high production value that fans have come to expect from Axel Braun and Wicked Pictures, "Peter Pan XXX: An Axel Braun Parody" is an exciting, exhilarating, unforgettable erotic adventure!

(Runtime - 1 hr. 59 mins.)
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In the film, PETER PAN XXX: AN AXEL BRAUN PARODY, we find the character of "Wendy Darling" all grown up, and living a sad existence in London.  Wendy, now Wendy Moncrief, is married to a brash, and controlling husband(Steven St. Croix), who really brings her down.  Wendy is often depressed and has dreams of her past as a child - a time in which she and her brothers, met a special boy, from a magical place known as "Neverland".  It is a memory, in which her husband calls "make believe", but is a memory she will cherish forever.  She wishes that somehow, and someday, she might once again return to "Neverland", a place where it's ok to never grow up.  Things basically commence when Wendy wishes out loud, and on this night, she is heard by one "Peter Pan", the aforementioned, "special boy".  However, he has returned to Wendy all these years later in a state of emergency.  As it turns out, Pan's trusty companion, a small fairy named "Tinker Bell("Tink, for short), has been unexpectedly kidnapped by Pan's arch-nemesis one, Captain James Hook(also St. Croix), and he has come to ask for Wendy's help in rescuing her.  Initially, Wendy is very much settled into her Adult ways, and her marriage commitment, but eventually, Peter is able to convince her to fly with him to "Neverland", after the two engage in a little sex.  It is from there that the two return to the magical land, where they not only encounter the situation regarding Tinker Bell's capture, but also various sexual acts as well.  All of which include Tinker Bell and Hook, 2 lovely mermaids, a pair of lost boys(who are now men), and a dirty old henchmen.  In the end however, the search and rescue of "Tinker Bell" ends with an epic showdown of iconic rivals, as Peter Pan, squares off against Captain Hook.

Movie Review: Ride or Die (Digital Playground - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock - November 19, 2015

Starring :
Mia Malkova
Riley Reid
Aidra Fox
Lola Foxx
Selena Rose
Derrick Pierce
Ike Diezel
Karlo Karrera
Marco Banderas
Toni Ribas

Synopsis
Mia Malkova, the sexy ex-street racer, is happily conforming to her life as a CIA agent until she’s sent to the boardroom and gets handled. Her new assignment is to go undercover in the street racing community and locate the Grip Gang, a racing threesome consisting of Selena Rose, Lola Fox and Aidra Fox, who’ve hijacked a government truck. She hasn’t raced since her father passed away, but now she must face her inner demons and go full throttle - fuck her way in or face jail time!


(Runtime - 2 hr. 26 mins.)

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For my next review, I thought that i'd visit this 2014 film from Digital Playground, called RIDE OR DIE, which stars Mia Malkova. To describe the film in a sentence, RIDE OR DIE, is essentially Digital Playground's answer to THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS franchise.


In the film, Mia Malkova is "Fiona Getz", a young woman who has already be through a lot in life. She grew up having a famous stock car racer for a father, one who was killed on the track. Later, she also ended up in the arms of an abusive, and corrupt boyfriend, who is now serving time in prison, because Fiona turned him in. The film finds her currently working a comfortable desk job at the Police department. A job that she actually prefers. However, things get a lot more interesting for her, when she is called upon to go undercover in the world of illegal street racing. Due to her experience with racing, her higher ups see no one better for the task. The department is now covering a case involving a gang of street racers, who are working side by side with the cartel. The gang has been hijacking, intelligent, military grade computer chips, powerful enough to control military drones, and putting them into the hands of the cartel, and cartel boss, "Toni". With the illegal operation ongoing, the Police need to get someone inside their world. At first, Fiona, who has spent some time distancing herself from racing, is reluctant to go in, but eventually realizes that she has no other choice, but to gear up and go full throttle. She dives right in by infiltrating the world of a guy named Vincent Smith, a wealthy entrepreneur, who has a liking of street racing. Vincent throws parties, and hosts big money races at his establishment, and it is during such night that Fiona poses as an eager street racer. However she does not go unnoticed, She is almost immediately recognized on account of her father, Simon, who, as it turns out, is someone that almost everyone there idolizes - Vincent included. Because of this, they of course, allow Fiona into their circle. Fiona then takes to the streets for her first race, and surprisingly, she comes out on top, thus winning big money. This impresses Vince, who works to get closer to the new racer. They do eventually become close, however, it is when Vincent's rebellious sister, Lisa(Riley Reid) is apprehended by the cops, that Fiona's cover is blown. It is also at that time revealed that Lisa has ties to the head of the cartel. Because of this, the Police ask for Vincent's help, when it comes to cracking down on the gang's operation. First, however, Vincent is upset, as he feels as though he has been betrayed by his girl, Fiona. But of course, he eventually agrees to go deep to avoid punishment of his own. From there, the stage is set for one more race, and seeing as members of the gang have entered, Fiona and Vincent work together in hopes of putting an end to them, before more microchips can be delivered.

Love, Anonymous(ADAM & EVE - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock - November 18, 2015

Starring :

Julia Ann

Britney Amber
Charlotte Stokely
Ryan McLane
Bianca Breeze
Tyler Nixon

Van Wylde

Jade Nile

Synopsis

Gentle cougar, hot-bodied MILF and all around lust object Julia Ann discovers an anonymous love poem inside a book. Thinking it was written for her, things start to go a little crazy at her café bake shop.

(Runtime - 2 hr. 14 mins.)

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Love is abound, but so is confusion and misunderstanding, in this romantic comedy from Adam & Eve. LOVE, ANONYMOUS proves that confusion can go a long way.

In the film, Julia Ann is "Emily", an owner of a bakery called "Sweet Dixie". She is a woman who longs for love, and has yet to experience it, although she has been seeing Link for sometime. While Link, has shown interest, her desire for love just hasn't yet been fulfilled. However, that all seems to change when she discovers a mysterious poem, which had been tucked away in a book, which had been written anonymously. After reading the poem, all signs point to a younger co-worker named Randy, who may, or may not have been dropping hints earlier. Convinced that it's him, Emily comes onto Randy strongly, only to later come to find Randy himself finding the mysterious poem. It's a poem, which he believes to have been written by his boss, about him, as a result of their sexual encounter the previous night. From there, a trend occurs, as the poem in question makes its way into many hands at "Sweet Dixie", resulting in sweet chaos, tangled in love, and misunderstanding. The poem, causes mass confusion for all involved, who in the end find the true meaning of love individually. Who would have thought that such a simple love poem could cause so much trouble?

Movie Review: "Man, Pride and Vengeance" (1967; Constantin Film/Blue Underground)

...often, this reviewer had been chastised and heckled by some of the more seasoned (...read: having 18 to 25 years aged seniority over me) film collectors and aficionados in varied cult film discussion group circles, for not having any measure of appreciation for the western genre. Without missing a beat, this reviewer is equally quick to set things straight with those critics, obligingly calling forth the contrary, in assuming and maintaining a most ardent appreciation of the western genre...though, not so much the stereotypically melodic, almost vaudevillian adaption of the genre, cinematically depicted in the olden-golden days of the '30's and '40's, but more the latter rendered 'western genre' which depicted the Wild West era in a much more gritty, unrelenting, unflinching and historically brutal & harsh fervor...something with...well, something with more of a 'realistic' bite, than a ballad...

...let's face it: Seth McFarland's bumbling and cowardly, albeit keenly perceptive character, in the director's hilarious send-up to the American Western...2014's Spaghetti Western film-title inspired "A Million Ways to Die in the West"...hit the nail resoundly on the head, when describing the hard, desperate and oh-so deadly times of that particular era. Life, at that time, was hardly that found in western films produced, circa early '50's and before...of stereotypical dashing, clean-cut heroes, who although exceptional with the gun, and unafraid to wrestle up some well-choreographed fist-i-cuffs, never got a scratch on them, wore brightly colored tunic shirts with embroidery & dangly tassels, rode whistle-responding horses as blindingly white as their ten-gallon hats, and almost always had a weather-worn guitar, strapped to their backs, which they would pull out and melodically strum, in between conflicts, out on the so-called 'lone prairie'. With the exception of the seasoned, weathered and 'been around', though still possessing a hint of once-beauty bar keep, as well as the typical segregated brothel of 'fallen' ladies, living just on the outskirts of dusty town, the women were pretty much naive, innocent, virginal and, for lack of a better term, 'polly pure-bred'. And the 'hive of villainy', as self serving and despicable as they might be, always managed to initiate their diabolical ways in such a way that somehow, the hero of the story always managed to save the day, in the end (...a credit to the film writers of the time; after all, we wouldn't want the bad guys to win, right??). The classic vaudevillian, stove-top-pipe high hat-wearing, mustache-twirling 'Snidley Whiplash' type...yes, ruthless, greedy and conniving, but hardly the sadistic, blood-thirsty and power-mad 'bad guys', which would punctuate the brand of western film, yet to come...or rather, yet to be imported, as of the early-to-mid '60's...

Movie Review: Snow Girl and the Dark Crystal (2015)

Directed by Peter Pau and Tianyu Zhao

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

In a fantastical universe set in the 16th century – or so, demi-Gods, demons and mortals coexist. The demons of hell are anxious to return to the earthly plains to raise a ruckus. Hu City, a Chinese every town on the Silk Road has recently suffered through some “demon issues.”

Semi-God Zhang Daoxian, played by Winston Chao volunteers to save the city, and sends protégé Zhong Kui (Kun Chen) to hell to steal the Dark Crystal. The egotistical Zhong endures corporal pain to master demon-slaying techniques. Zhang grants Zhong the ability to conjure up his demonic alter-ego – resulting in a really BAD bit of computer animation that one would see in a second-tier video game -- Demon King lets loose the snow spirit Xueqing (Bingbing Li, “Transformers 4”) and dispatches her to Hu City to reclaim the crystal. Arriving with a caravan of female demons in the guise of a hoochie-coochie dance troupe, she mesmerizes Zhong, who believes she is his lost love, Little Snow. Throw in lots of so-what battles and a drag queen warrior and you have more of the same from the Chinese film indus

Movie Review: Places in the Heart (1984)

Directed by Robert Benton

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Edna Spalding (Sally Field, in her second Oscar win for Best Actress) is a Depression-era mother of two small children who suffers an incredible tragedy. Her sheriff husband is killed by accident in a drunken altercation with a black teenager. Justice in small town Texas in 1935 being what it is, the kid is dragged behind a truck as her husband’s body is laid out on the kitchen table prior to burial. Unable to write a check, let alone earn a living, the town’s slimy banker (Lane Smith) reminds Edna she has less than $200 saved and suggests she sell her farm, move in with relatives or put her kids in an orphanage. Edna balks at this, and sticks to her guns.

Opportunity literally comes knocking in the form of black hobo Moze (Danny Glover), who pesters her for work in exchange for a hot meal. Stealing some spoons off her table before high tailing it, a sheriff catches him, drags him before Edna and in an amazing act of compassion, she denies the charges, which sets him free. Moze proves to be a Godsend, as he has a hands-on experience in cotton farming, just the thing to turn around the unused land on her property to keep her creditors at bay.

Movie Review: The Eternal Return of Antonis (2013)

Oh boy. It’s a drama. It also seems to be one of those films that’s making some kind of social commentary on the world at large or whatever. This one comes to us from Greece. To quote the back of the DVD, this movie is a “...dark and artful satire on fame in the modern world.”

Fuck. Me.

The Eternal Return of Antonis is about a man named Antonis (go figure) who has been a television broadcaster for 20 years. Apparently his star is fading so he fakes his own kidnapping to get back into the main spotlight. His buddy either owns or has access to an empty hotel out in the boondocks which is perfect. Antonis can hide out there for a few weeks until it’s just the right time to spring back in the world no worse for the wear!

Though the pantry is kept fully stocked (thanks to his friend’s infrequent visits), and there is plenty to keep him occupied (karaoke, wine and cigars, tennis court, pool, molecular gastronomy DVD) the weeks of isolation take their toll on Antonis and he begins to crack.

Not only does he send a ransom note to the TV station he works for but he also cuts off his own finger as ‘evidence’ that the kidnappers mean business. Eventually (seriously, that wasn’t enough?) an entire colony of bats comes home to roost in Antonis’s belfry and he snaps completely.

That addiction to fame and attention is a bitch, eh?

Movie Review: Hits (2014)

David Cross writes and directs a tale of fame set in the small town of Liberty, NY.  The film shows how the internet can make you famous, even if it wasn't the way you intended for it to happen.

Meredith Hagner plays Katelyn, a nineteen year old girl with a dream to be on the NBC television show, "The Voice."  She feels she has what it takes and is willing to do just about anything to be heard.

Katelyn's father Dave, who is brilliantly played by Matt Walsh, has issues with his city council.  He continues to go to the town halls and is shut down.  This has progressively made him more upset and the videos of his city council outbursts have become mildly popular on YouTube.  This is where Donavan(James Adomian) comes in.  He becomes quite interested in Dave's cause when his drug dealer(Michael Cera) shows Donavan and his wife(Erinn Hayes) the YouTube video.  Donavan, who lives in New York City, and his group of friends are part of an internet group called "Think Tank" and he feels Dave is the perfect subject.

Everything culminates in the small town of Liberty.  Katelyn is looking to record a demo, Dave is becoming more and more popular on the internet, Donavan is surprised by the amount of attention, and there are a lot more characters that have integral parts within this story.

David Cross masterfully weaves all of the characters into this film.  There is a lot going on, but he finds a way to give each character enough screen time so that you are able to keep up with this interweaving tale.  There are also characters who may play small roles but had me laughing out loud.  Derek Waters was remarkably funny in his role as the awkward and always hungry Larson.

Those that are looking for fame do find it.  It just doesn't come the way they might have thought it would.

I'm giving "Hits" three out of five Pile Drivers.  Definitely worth watching if you like a tragic comedy.

You can read more of my reviews here on Cinema Head Cheese and also please check out my blogs, reviews and podcasts on http://maskerpiecetheatre.blogspot.com/

Please let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Movie Review: Wanted (Wicked Pictures - 2015)

Reviewed by: Rick L. Blalock - November 12, 2015

Starring :

Annika Albrite
Cassidy Klein

Amber Rayne

Jodi Taylor
Stormy Daniels
Allie Haze
Jessica Drake
Chanel Preston
Mia Li
Brendon Miller
Tommy Gunn
Ryan McLane
Steven St. Croix

Brad Armstong

Eric Masterson
J. Crew
Dick Chibbles

Synopsis

The sheriff of Diablo City is as crooked as they come. He has a plan to steal a valuable deed from a woman by wrongfully accusing her of murder and having her hanged. After an impromptu rescue, four women find themselves both outlaws and unlikely friends in a race against time.

(Runtime - 2 hr. 59 mins.)

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In the Adult Western, WANTED, from WICKED PICTURES and Stormy Daniels, chaos ensues when a a wealthy ranch owner dies. Confusion and greed erupts in the town of Diablo City Arizona, when a Prostitute named Joanna is blamed for Frank Garrett's death by Sheriff Clayton. In reality, Garrett loved Joanna, who suddenly dies shortly after seeing her for one last time. But not before giving her a valuable deed to a portion of his ranch, as well as a map to a secret location, indidicating that something valuable could be found there(although he wasn't specific as to what). After Clayton discovers the deed in her possession, he believes that money was the motive for killing Frank, and orders Joanna hanged, However, but before the hanging can go down, Joanna is courageously saved by 3 women(Dani, Birdie, and Lilah), as well as Frank's assistant, Samuel - who knows the truth regarding his former colleague and Joanna. After narrowly escaping a gunfight with Clayton and his Deputy, the group takes to the dusty trails, on horseback, as they hide out, and then later go searching for the location on Frank's map. Unfortunately for them however, they are soon pursued by not only Clayton, but also a Bounty Hunter named Morgan. Clayton just so happens to have caught wind of the map also, while Morgan, who was previously tracking Dani across several states, suddenly finds even more incentive, when she, of course, becomes a wanted woman. It seems that Morgan, and one Danielle "Dani" Deauxregard have themselves a storied history. As it is told to us: 5 years ago, while Dani was working as a Prostitute on Bourbon street in Louisiana, the two crossed paths. It was also on that night, that the rather sneaky Dani took the man for his money. Ever since then, the man has hoped to take her in. However, it doesn't make the situation any easier, in that he just might love her. When it comes down to it, however, Morgan agrees to accompany them on their trip(as Dani hopes to make enough money off of her cut of the wealth that they achieve with what is found via the map, so that she may help her best friend Birdie save her family's property), just as long as she agrees to let him bring her in after it's all said and done. While on the trail, and elsewhere, many sexual encounters occur, before Dani and the others are faced with one last showdown with the Sheriff, as they fight for wealth, freedom, and yes, love as well.

Movie Review: Guns, Girls and Gambling (2012)

A Native American artifact is stolen from an Apache casino and now a quirky bunch of Elvis impersonators, crooked cops, blonde haired women, guns for hire and more are on the hunt for it.

I love a good heist movie and I even like a bad one if the story is goofy enough.  This falls into the latter.  There are actually quite a few decent actors in this film and it was cool to see them working together.  Christian Slater totally fits the role as the main character, John Smith, who gets wrapped up in all the silliness that is a movie about Elvis impersonators hunting down a Native American mask.

As in all heist movies, there are twists and turns that I won't get into here, but they do keep you entertained.  At times it looks like things start looking up for John Smith, and then something happens(usually a hit to the face).  Slater's portrayal as the main character was extremely fun and kept the movie going.  His part made me think of his roles from the late 80s/early 90s where his career was at it's peak.

The person who shares a lot of time with Slater is "The Girl Next Door," played by Megan Park.  There was excellent chemistry between the two of them on screen making her a surprise of the film.


If you can get past the first five minutes, you should be fine the rest of the way with this film.  Although I felt most people played their parts the way they were intended, I did not like Helena Mattsson's line delivery.  She's an absolutely gorgeous assassin who quotes Edgar Allen Poe poetry before she shoots people.  Problem is, she doesn't sound confident doing it.  I'm assuming she was going for sensual but there's a crack or something else off in her delivery and it just comes off poorly.

The Elvis impersonators are great with Chris Kattan as "Gay Elvis," Anthony Brandon Wong as "Asian Elvis," Tony Cox as "Midget Elvis"- I mean "Little Person Elvis," and Gary Oldman as "Elvis Elvis."

Powers Booth is "The Rancher" and has a very Boss Hog look going for him.  Dane Cook and Sam Trammell are the Sheriffs.  The film even has Jeff Fahey and Matthew Willig as hit-men with cool nicknames.

Overall, I think that Michael Winnick as writer/director put together an okay film.  It was a lot of fun with cheesy over the top action and goofy lines.  It was definitely better than I expected.

On a scale of up to 5, I'm giving "Guns, Girls and Gambling" 3 Pile Drivers.

You can read more of my reviews here on Cinema Head Cheese and also please check out my blogs, reviews and podcasts on http://maskerpiecetheatre.blogspot.com/

Please let us know your thoughts in the comments below.