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July 5, 2012

Movie Review: Puppet Master: Axis of Evil (2010, Blu-ray)

Believe it or not, but this is the 10th Puppet Master sequel. Yep, Charles Band’s little, err, band of ruthless, homicidal puppets have officially been in more feature films than their campy, goofy horror film brethren like Warwick Davis’ Leprechaun and those cheap little Ghoulies monsters. Like most sequels, though, the quantity is not directly proportionate to the quality. Even though Puppet Master: Axis of Evil is better than the a few of the more recent remakes, I still felt like some all-knowing, all-powerful force hooked my limbs up to piano wire to control my body and rammed it’s hand up my ass to make me talk as I watched yet another prequel in the Puppet Master mythos. Uugh.

Buy Puppet Master: Axis of Evil on Blu-ray or DVD!

Puppet Master: Axis of Evil is a prequel set in 1939 (just days after the suicide of Toulon, the original master of the puppets). I’m stopping there because there are multiple, serious, history fails in this pile. It’s 1939, right? OK, I understand that Americans are generally pretty stupid, but referencing the bombing of Pearl Harbor in the film is a bit ridiculous. That happened in 1941. For the mathematically challenged, that is a difference of two years. This, and other history foibles, happen throughout the film but I have to admit: they didn’t interrupt my enjoyment of the film at all. I fully realize what I’m getting into with a Puppet Master movie (aside from the excellent original). Even directed by genre-veteran David Decouteau, Axis of Evil is a slapped together, quickie production with a little bit of ambition as a period piece. If I’m not mistaken, Axis of Evil and the original Puppet Master are the first from the series to be released on blu-ray. This brings up another point that has nothing to do with Full Moon Pictures. Well, not much to do at least.

What the hell is going on? Now that cell phones can record in 1080p HD video everyone on the planet is shooting and editing in high definition. This means that these new, z-grade HD epics are getting released on blu-ray. Good, right? Give the little guy a chance, you’re thinking? I’m done with it. The only thing that high definition is bringing to the majority of the underground/indie/cult film world is crisp, clean crap. Puppet Master: Axis of Evil (although not as bad as some genre films out today) is a prime example. Think of it this way. Have you watched the local news lately? How about the local news in high definition? Those news anchors that have rode the desk for years and you invited into your homes are like close friends. Every night they tell you about the day’s happenings and you watched, smiled and fawn over them when you’re in the same Starbucks line. Not anymore. High definition has killed that. The pretty lady that did the weather? She’s not so pretty when you can see the six inch wart on her chin that has a single black hair growing out of it and into her beard. Full Moon on blu-ray, that’s my weather lady.

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