Movie Review: The Lords of Salem (2013)

Reviewed By: John Beutler

Admittedly, as most folks out there probably did, this reviewer went braced, readied, but still somewhat unsuspecting into this recent and eagerly awaited effort, by musician and filmmaker Rob Zombie...already having a great appreciation for his past rendered music and film productions, and yet, naively figuring that I was anticipated prepared and seasoned for whatever he might come up with next. Ah, yes...what was that old saying, about '...the best laid plans of mice and men"?? Ninety-plus minutes after having engaged the premiere of "The Lords of Salem", I caught myself sitting in the theater...five minutes after the screen went black, end credits having rolled...theater lights having come up...frozen in my seat...eyed widened...mouth agape...wondering, '...what the @#$% did I just see??

Speculating the need to afford myself an opportunity for a second viewing of the film, before committing my thoughts here, provided me the respite of clearing the head beforehand, as the film unswerving stayed with me for several days, thereafter...digesting...at some point, early on, I might have even said, 'infesting'. Having now viewed the film a second time, I have to say, without a doubt...Engagingly Pitch-Black Dark and Grim, albeit Irresistible and Unsettling. Grotesquely Beautiful. Nightmarishly Surreal. Disturbingly Twisted. All that one might naturally expect from Rob Zombie, but "The Lords of Salem" takes such expectations, carries them into a much higher level of chillingly disturbing dementia, and hits the unsuspecting viewer...even those well seasoned...with a flooring wallop, the intensity of a mind-numbing, ass-kicking shot-glass of Absinthe's Green Fairy...

The story herein, is simple enough...seen before in countless, similarly themed, old-school horror films before it. In the midst of the 1690's Salem Witch Trials, a coven of desecrating, satan-worshiping witches, are captured, bound, tried for witchcraft and sentenced to death by burning. However, as such events often go, the lead witch of this evil-incarnate coven, before succumbing to the searing flames...which she screamingly laughs at, as she burns...swears revenge upon the whole of the town's populace...specifically, the innocent women of the region...vowing to someday return from hell itself...and the instilled, across-the-ages vengeance would come about, though the unsuspecting linage of one of the descendants of the lead trial instigators. Flash forward to present, a haggardly attractive radio DJ...one of a trio of popular DJs, at a hip radio station, in the greater Boston, Massachusetts area...receives a mysterious wooden box, addressed directly to her. Inside the box, a record album, the music of which is stated merely to have been composed by a group called "The Lords". Upon playing the music, she is bombarded by progressively vivid and grotesquely visceral visions of the past...hellishly surreal and nightmarish flashbacks of death, despair and desecration. Increasingly tortured by, and seemingly unable to escape these ungodly sights and sounds (...which she attributes not just to the arcane music, but possibly due to some rekindling of drug-induced trauma from her jaded, post-substance-abuse past), she finds it ever-increasingly difficult to fight back. Will she find the will to overcome, or will she resignedly surrender to this overwhelming evil...beckoning to her...seemingly wanting to possess her?? Why her?? What is her connection to these devilishly diabolical proceedings?? And what about the second package sent to the radio station, announcing concert tickets, and the subsequent arrival of "The Lords", in this unsuspecting Boston community??

Those expecting something as (...severed) tongue-in-cheek, devilishly fun and entertaining, as some of Rob Zombie's previously embraced and respected films, like "House of a 1,000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects", might well take caution in approaching this...well, this rather intense, visceral and dead serious concoction, which in retrospect, cannot really be coined as either 'fun', nor 'entertaining', in the any conventional sense of the words...but rather, satisfyingly unsettling and demented, in a most embraceable way. It's a raw and visceral experience which one might might not want to claim to partakingly 'enjoy', per say, without candidly revealing one's darker side...but at the same time, one cannot help but find these proceedings compellingly irresistible. In early interviews with Rob Zombie, he suggested that this film might be more akin to 'The Shining, as directed by early Ken Russell'; indeed, the strikingly visual homages to THAT film, as well as Ken Russell's early work, are unmistakable, and serve the film quite well. However, those seasoned to the genre may also gleefully sit up and take notice to colorful and visually inspirational nods towards the works of filmmakers Dario Argento, Mario Bava, Lucio Fulci, and even the likes of surreal genre filmmaker favorite, Alejandro Jodorowsky. Even many of the soundtrack's musical score moments find an oh-so familiar ring (...amidst the classic rock pieces, which are applicably expected staples in a Rob Zombie film), as they seem to harken back to some of famed genre film music composer Fabio Frizzi's chillingly unsettling work...
Equal to the overwhelming intensity of this coarsely skewed, albeit brilliantly conceived film, are the impressive performances across the board, herein...the eclectic list of which, reads almost like a 'who's who' of seasoned genre film stars (...including Bruce Davidson, Ken Foree, Maria Conchita Alonso, Andrew Prine and 'blink-and-you'll-miss-em' Sid Haig and Micheal Berryman, amongst others). Sherri Moon Zombie, as the tragically fated DJ, Heidi, stands out foremost, here; typically cast in unstable supporting character roles, this one is just as unstable, but this time, Sherri quite literally carries the film...and does it quite successfully and compellingly...giving the viewer a dramatically serious and sympathetic performance, which may genuinely surprise most, who have seen her, otherwise. This lady definitely possesses some seriously potential, in her acting chops...giving hope that in the future, we viewers might see much more of this. Meg Foster, known and adored by genre fans over the years...especially with those captivatingly beautiful eyes, and that deep, sultry voice...also gets high marks here, for a most extraordinary and chance-taking role, as the sinister head witch, Margaret Morgan. As beautifully alluring as this viewer has often found Meg, in the countless roles she has played, over the years...even the unconventional ones...this role is, without a doubt, one of the bravest of hers, grotesquely contrasting her natural beauty, and yet at the same time, the repulsive, albeit captivating allure of her performance, is a sight to behold...one of those...as genre movie trailers sometimes boast, in their taglines... 'too disgusting to watch, too bizarre to resist' performances...

It would be unforgiving of this viewer, to neglect attention to the delightfully campy performances of three, count 'em, three deliciously diabolical ladies...here, playing the Doyle sisters...Judy Geeson (...of 1981's "Inseminoid"), Patricia Quinn (...'Magenta', of 1975's "Rocky Horror Picture Show") and Dee Wallace (...of 1981's "The Howling", amongst others)...who have underlining, insidiously covert roles, in the 'conversion' and degradation of the tragically fated Heidi. Three deviously deadly ladies, who share a common vision, and a common goal...ironically, not unlike that of the mythical, 'single-eye-shared-between-them' Stygian Witches, of ancient Greek lore...
Despite the contrived and inspirational aspects of "The Lords of Salem", this has to be one of Rob Zombie's more accomplished works, reflecting an unconventionally refreshing freedom of vision, cinematically...little seen by him, outside of his music. General audiences, as well as those easy unsettled, might be best advised to steer away from this; however, those lovingly devoted to the genre...given fair warning of a shock to the system...dare I say, of one's very heart, mind and soul...will find this more their cup of tea. But be careful, as THIS tea is most assuredly 150-proof tainted...but well worth the taste...