...(...stepping up to the mic, into the solo spotlight glow, reading the handed script) "...uh, Thanks...Killing 3"...
...(...a dead-quiet hush falls over the vacant-eyed crowd)...
...(...clearing throat, and emoting louder) "Ahem!! THANKSKILLING 3!!"...
...(...the deafening silence and disbelieving stares continue)...
...(...throwing out three fingers, and tapping the mic, before speaking...slight feedback reverberating) "...uh, ThanksKilling THREE!!!"...
...(...dead air continues, then a faint, questioning 'gobble' from the back)...
...(...looking out and about to speak again, pausing a moment in disbelief, in re-reading the script) "...ThanksKilling...3?? Really?? I mean, ThanksKilling THREE??"...
...(...turning and leaving in disgust and disbeief, heading stage right, sending script pages flying rampantly in the air, the question repeated, fading off-stage with the speaker) "...ThanksKilling 3?? You're kidding, right?? I mean, ThanksKilling THREE?? ThanksKilling THREE.....??"...
...ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...gather around, and I'll tell you a real scary bedtime story (...oooooooo!! Sca-a-a-a-a-r-r-r-r-ry!!), about a really dumb and really goofy little horror film, which you may or may not have heard tell about. Not a bad sort of 'dumb and goofy', by any means...more like a diabolically devilish, embraceably likable 'dumb and goofy'...you know, kinda like having a fiendishly flavored Mortimer Snerd or Ernest P. Worrell as your BFF. Anyways, once upon a time, back in the early colonial days, a vengeful Indian chief endeavored to strike back at invading homesteading pilgrims, by infusing a turkey with a murderous demon. The turkey...a short, frazzled, wise-cracking, foul-mouthed little bugger...proceeded to slaughter the unwary settlers, until at some point, his murderous rampage is suppressed. Flash-forward some 200-plus years, with a group of college kids, road-bound to a cabin in the woods, one fine Thanksgiving day. Unfortunately, the patch of woods which they tread upon, happens to fall within the vicinity of the hallowed ground, where ol' Turkie was laid to rest. A convenient stream of piss from a wayward mutt brings the fiendishly foul fowl back to life...and rampant murderous mayhem...as well as scathingly bad-but-funny one-liners, and hilariously bad-but-funny puppetry...ensue...
...indeed, 2010's "ThanksKilling" proved as bad, as bad might come (...though, any film with even a quick shot of Wanda Lust, and her...uh, her...her assets, so to speak, can't be all that bad, right?), seemingly appearing not that far removed from concepts previously explored, such as 1997's "Jack Frost", Full Moon Pictures' "GingerDead Man", or even more obvious, the 'Child's Play/Chucky' franchise; however, this nasty little independently-produced horror ditty definitely had something unique and special, which undiscriminating horror film fans couldn't help but fall for...which was the film's riotously instilled craziness, inane ridiculousness and maniacally giddy sense of ambition. Conceived and produced, in the midst of one fine summer, by fledgling filmmakers Jordan Downey and Kevin Stewart, on a meager budget of about $3,500 (...with additional financial support, late in the game, for marketing and distribution), the assumed one-shot "ThanksKilling" went on to achieve a respectable cult following...with hopes that one day, the wise-cracking, fowl-mouthing, homicidal escapades of ol' Turkie would continue, as promised, before the end credits...and IN SPACE, no less (...I mean, hell...if Pinhead, Jason and the Leprechaun could do it...hell, why not, right??)...
...taking place in a surreal, WTF universe which recognizes the maniacally murderous Turkie as not merely the 'killer' protagonist, but the infamously famed star of the first movie, as well as the subsequently produced "ThanksKilling 2", TK3 opens up on an apocalyptic note, whereby TK2 is considered so incredibly bad, that all copies of the film are ordered to be destroyed. Naturally, ol' Turkie...now a seemingly domesticated family man, with an annoyingly bickering wife, and a twig of a kid, who wants to follow in his pop's footsteps...becomes very much put off by this heinous ordinance, as breaking news of the sequel's disposal, ticker-tapes across the TV screen. With rage in his heart, bloodlust in his mind, and groan-instilling one-liners at the ready,Turkie abruptly drops the domestic facade, slices & dices his whining & frightfully curlered betrothed, takes his adoring offspring in tow, and ventures murderously forth (...stopping along the way, to have his wang retrofitted with a chainsaw, 'Evil Dead' Ash-style), in search of what is rumored to be the very last existing copy of "ThanksKilling 2". Standing in his way, a rather eclectically motley crew of characters, including two Amadeus-wigged brothers...one, an inventor of a super-wham-a-dyme turkey oven, and the other, the head of security at...yes, indeed folks...Thanksgiving Land; there's also the brothers' crotchety-old hip-hop rapping grandmother...there's an effeminate space worm named Rhonda...there's Yomi, a lost and wandering, fuzzy-faced waif of a gal, who is in desperate search of her mind...and there's others, of course, but to mention them here...well, there's something to be said about leaving off-kilter surprises, and in the case of this outrageous film, that's an understatement...
...ahem...OK, here's the deal; much like the first "ThanksKilling", this second (...oh, alright...the 'third'...that is, going by the film's title, and ensuing storyline) venture is bad...eh-heh, so incredibly bad, it defies the worst possible criticism, and ultimately, it proves absolutely zany-wonderful to behold. Let's face it: try as one might, one can't help but love this movie, which giddily and shamelessly wallows in it's oh-so incredible bad-ness. Once again, it's that insanely crazed energy and hyper-kinetic, let's-throw-everything-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks attitude & ambition, which one cannot help but embrace, while engaging this flick. Clearly a departure from the standard 'slasher movie' meld from the first film, director Jordan Downey and writer Kevin Stewart instead (...by way of a spontaneous 'Kickstarter' campaign, which wrought them a much bigger budget...more in the $100,000 neighborhood) chose here to draw inspiration from adventure-driven Muppet-like puppetry, multiple styles of animation...and to a greater extent, an obvious sly nod to some of cult film fav director Peter Jackson's early work, such as "Bad Taste" and "Meet the Feebles", come to mind, herein. It's not unlike a gore-drenched, nightmarish trip through Mr. Roger's Neighborhood's 'Make Believe Land'...a horrifically hallucinogenic trip, which this viewer would have absolutely relished, back in the day, with his closed-footy PJ's and overly sugar-coated bowl of Froot Loops...much to the dismay of wretched parental guidance and control...
...insanely, albeit irresistibly goofy and dumb, this tantalizingly tasteless turd most assuredly commands one's incredulously disbelieving awe and attention...even if, at the very least, it allows one to say, "...hey, I was there!!". For this viewer, the delightfully outrageous conception of the riotously left-fielded "ThanksKilling 3" gives hope to the possibility of furthered homicidal and blood-soaked mayhem...say, perhaps a remake of "The Unholy Three"...featuring an 'evil vs. evil' excursion, pitting ol' Turkie against an equally maniacal and homicidal teaming of the likes of Charlie McCarthy, Madame & Lamb Chop?? An ideal match-up, made in a fiery puppet hell, as far as this viewer is concerned. Uh, producers..take note...
...ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...gather around, and I'll tell you a real scary bedtime story (...oooooooo!! Sca-a-a-a-a-r-r-r-r-ry!!), about a really dumb and really goofy little horror film, which you may or may not have heard tell about. Not a bad sort of 'dumb and goofy', by any means...more like a diabolically devilish, embraceably likable 'dumb and goofy'...you know, kinda like having a fiendishly flavored Mortimer Snerd or Ernest P. Worrell as your BFF. Anyways, once upon a time, back in the early colonial days, a vengeful Indian chief endeavored to strike back at invading homesteading pilgrims, by infusing a turkey with a murderous demon. The turkey...a short, frazzled, wise-cracking, foul-mouthed little bugger...proceeded to slaughter the unwary settlers, until at some point, his murderous rampage is suppressed. Flash-forward some 200-plus years, with a group of college kids, road-bound to a cabin in the woods, one fine Thanksgiving day. Unfortunately, the patch of woods which they tread upon, happens to fall within the vicinity of the hallowed ground, where ol' Turkie was laid to rest. A convenient stream of piss from a wayward mutt brings the fiendishly foul fowl back to life...and rampant murderous mayhem...as well as scathingly bad-but-funny one-liners, and hilariously bad-but-funny puppetry...ensue...
...indeed, 2010's "ThanksKilling" proved as bad, as bad might come (...though, any film with even a quick shot of Wanda Lust, and her...uh, her...her assets, so to speak, can't be all that bad, right?), seemingly appearing not that far removed from concepts previously explored, such as 1997's "Jack Frost", Full Moon Pictures' "GingerDead Man", or even more obvious, the 'Child's Play/Chucky' franchise; however, this nasty little independently-produced horror ditty definitely had something unique and special, which undiscriminating horror film fans couldn't help but fall for...which was the film's riotously instilled craziness, inane ridiculousness and maniacally giddy sense of ambition. Conceived and produced, in the midst of one fine summer, by fledgling filmmakers Jordan Downey and Kevin Stewart, on a meager budget of about $3,500 (...with additional financial support, late in the game, for marketing and distribution), the assumed one-shot "ThanksKilling" went on to achieve a respectable cult following...with hopes that one day, the wise-cracking, fowl-mouthing, homicidal escapades of ol' Turkie would continue, as promised, before the end credits...and IN SPACE, no less (...I mean, hell...if Pinhead, Jason and the Leprechaun could do it...hell, why not, right??)...
...which brings us to the inevitable "ThanksKilling 3"...or as the advertising blurb on the poster suggests, 'the first movie with the balls to skip it's own sequel'...
...taking place in a surreal, WTF universe which recognizes the maniacally murderous Turkie as not merely the 'killer' protagonist, but the infamously famed star of the first movie, as well as the subsequently produced "ThanksKilling 2", TK3 opens up on an apocalyptic note, whereby TK2 is considered so incredibly bad, that all copies of the film are ordered to be destroyed. Naturally, ol' Turkie...now a seemingly domesticated family man, with an annoyingly bickering wife, and a twig of a kid, who wants to follow in his pop's footsteps...becomes very much put off by this heinous ordinance, as breaking news of the sequel's disposal, ticker-tapes across the TV screen. With rage in his heart, bloodlust in his mind, and groan-instilling one-liners at the ready,Turkie abruptly drops the domestic facade, slices & dices his whining & frightfully curlered betrothed, takes his adoring offspring in tow, and ventures murderously forth (...stopping along the way, to have his wang retrofitted with a chainsaw, 'Evil Dead' Ash-style), in search of what is rumored to be the very last existing copy of "ThanksKilling 2". Standing in his way, a rather eclectically motley crew of characters, including two Amadeus-wigged brothers...one, an inventor of a super-wham-a-dyme turkey oven, and the other, the head of security at...yes, indeed folks...Thanksgiving Land; there's also the brothers' crotchety-old hip-hop rapping grandmother...there's an effeminate space worm named Rhonda...there's Yomi, a lost and wandering, fuzzy-faced waif of a gal, who is in desperate search of her mind...and there's others, of course, but to mention them here...well, there's something to be said about leaving off-kilter surprises, and in the case of this outrageous film, that's an understatement...
...ahem...OK, here's the deal; much like the first "ThanksKilling", this second (...oh, alright...the 'third'...that is, going by the film's title, and ensuing storyline) venture is bad...eh-heh, so incredibly bad, it defies the worst possible criticism, and ultimately, it proves absolutely zany-wonderful to behold. Let's face it: try as one might, one can't help but love this movie, which giddily and shamelessly wallows in it's oh-so incredible bad-ness. Once again, it's that insanely crazed energy and hyper-kinetic, let's-throw-everything-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks attitude & ambition, which one cannot help but embrace, while engaging this flick. Clearly a departure from the standard 'slasher movie' meld from the first film, director Jordan Downey and writer Kevin Stewart instead (...by way of a spontaneous 'Kickstarter' campaign, which wrought them a much bigger budget...more in the $100,000 neighborhood) chose here to draw inspiration from adventure-driven Muppet-like puppetry, multiple styles of animation...and to a greater extent, an obvious sly nod to some of cult film fav director Peter Jackson's early work, such as "Bad Taste" and "Meet the Feebles", come to mind, herein. It's not unlike a gore-drenched, nightmarish trip through Mr. Roger's Neighborhood's 'Make Believe Land'...a horrifically hallucinogenic trip, which this viewer would have absolutely relished, back in the day, with his closed-footy PJ's and overly sugar-coated bowl of Froot Loops...much to the dismay of wretched parental guidance and control...
...insanely, albeit irresistibly goofy and dumb, this tantalizingly tasteless turd most assuredly commands one's incredulously disbelieving awe and attention...even if, at the very least, it allows one to say, "...hey, I was there!!". For this viewer, the delightfully outrageous conception of the riotously left-fielded "ThanksKilling 3" gives hope to the possibility of furthered homicidal and blood-soaked mayhem...say, perhaps a remake of "The Unholy Three"...featuring an 'evil vs. evil' excursion, pitting ol' Turkie against an equally maniacal and homicidal teaming of the likes of Charlie McCarthy, Madame & Lamb Chop?? An ideal match-up, made in a fiery puppet hell, as far as this viewer is concerned. Uh, producers..take note...
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