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December 9, 2016

Movie Review: The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

Day three of the David Hayes Christmas Crap Review-a-Palooza and we’re cooking with gas! Hopefully someone leaves the burner on and lights a smoke so I can blow the hell up and not watch anymore of this garbage.

On the third day of Christmas the Head Cheese gave to me three ghostly visits that caused me, within my pants, to pee.

Last night I was visited by three ghosts. The first was the Ghost of Jedi Past and he showed me the glory of the original Star Wars trilogy and I marveled, like in my youth, to the adventures of Luke and Leia and that weird incestuous thing they had going on. Then, merely an hour later, I was visited by the Ghost of Jedi Present and he showed me the horrible, computer-generated filth that passed for films as George Lucas perverted his legacy, ably aided by Jake Lloyd, with the ‘new’ trilogy. As I lay awake in bed, shuddering from fright with the voice of Jar Jar shrilly echoing in my head, another ghost entered my bed chamber. Hunkering below the covers, only peeking out of cat-killing curiosity, I noticed that this ghost was smaller than the rest. And it limped. This ghost also had a hunchback and a wheezing cough that punctuated each step. Unafraid of this new ghost, I threw off my blanket and confronted it. This… thing announced itself to be The Ghost of Jedi A Little After Past. I laughed, mocking it and calling it Quasi-Ghosto. As the retarded little thing grabbed my hand, though, my laughter turned into a scream. You see, gentle reader, this malformed, raised in a basement, step-child of a ghost was taking me on the scariest adventure yet. It took me to The Star Wars Holiday Special.

December 8, 2016

Book Review: Christmas is Cancelled (2013, Splatterpunk)

I am a huge fan of twisted, irreverent holiday tales. Take institutions that have been around, sometimes for hundreds of years, and twist them until those institutions are absolutely unrecognizable. That, my friends, is true subversion. The fact that one would be willing to pervert the iconic ideas and imagery that many people hold dear is a testament to that artist’s desire to be a discordant voice, challenging the singsong of the majority who follow one another blindly, sheepishly, in a three part harmony of tradition. Christmas is Cancelled by Dan Henk, the first in a series of extreme horror chapbooks released by Splatterpunk in the UK, shoots straight for the heart of our highly-stylized Christmas traditions with a kill shot and, by all accounts, is mostly successful.

Buy Christmas is Cancelled HERE.

December 7, 2016

The Orphan Killer Brings on the Gore Galore!




REEL GORE RELEASING presents the official release of Matt Farnsworth’s slasher movie THE ORPHAN KILLER on Blu-ray/DVD December 13, 2016
Los Angeles, CA (December 2016) For immediate release. Synopsis: The Orphan Killer is a tour de force murder flick that defies classification. It goes far beyond current trends in gore and breaks open a new suffering genre of horror. Marcus Miller is a serial murderer hell-bent on teaching his estranged sister Audrey what it means to have family loyalty. His lessons are taught in massive doses of vulgar and unimaginable pain. Throughout her brutal torture we learn that Marcus is not the only Miller with Killer in the bloodline as Audrey proves to be a formidable adversary. Starring: Diane Foster, David Bachhaus, Karen Young, James McCaffrey, Matt Farnsworth.

THE ORPHAN KILLER (Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
Price: $34.95
Street Date: December 13, 2016
Production Year: 2011
Country: USA
Film run time: Approx. 83 minutes
Language: English language with optional Spanish/French/Italian/Japanese subtitles
Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1 Widescreen Anamorphic
Audio: DTS-HD MA 5.1 Surround/Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo
Label/Distributor: Reel Gore Releasing/CAV
Catalog Number: RGR004
UPC: 881190600498
Rating: Not Rated

December 6, 2016

Movie Review: Dillinger (1973)

Directed by John Milius

Review by Greg Goodsell


Every bit as ruthless as the mobsters he swears he will kill in order to smoke cigars over their still warm corpses, Edgar G. Hoover right-hand man Melvin Purvis (Ben Jonson) sets his sights on bank robber John Dillinger (Warren Oates). Dillinger and his gangster cohorts Baby Face Nelson (Richard Dreyfuss) and Pretty Boy Floyd (Steve Kanaly). These hoodlums pose a massive threat to the security of Depression Era America in many several ways, Purvis notes in his ponderous narration. These criminals provide escapist copy for the garish tabloids, Purvis says, perhaps inspiring the poor-but-honest to leave their lives of quiet desperation to begin their own lives of crime. He vows to make sure that Dillinger and clan, after a shootout costing the lives of six government men, die in the most sordid and least romantic ways possible – fueling a cross-country manhunt with few survivors.

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Heroes vs Aliens Crossover (DC/CW, 2016)

Kevin breaks down the four part crossover between Supergirl, The Flash, Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

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December 3, 2016

DOUBLE FEATURE MOVIE REVIEW: Dead & Rotting (2002) and Stitches (2001)

The Powers That Be over at CHC must be slipping because this double feature DVD offered movies that actually weren’t that bad. I mean, I kind of liked them. I don’t think I know how to live right now…


The first film is Dead & Rotting. Three prankster buddies (read: douche nozzles) get a little hex put on them when they beat up the son, Pox, of a local witch, Abigail, after he eggs one of their trucks. Since they have the combined mentality of one 12 year old boy, they feel the need to retaliate. When the stoners they hire to break into the witch’s home end up BOILING HER FUCKING CAT (what the hell is wrong with these guys?), the three amigos end up with something a little more problematic on their hands than a simple hex. They incur the wrath of a very powerful sorceress who is about to seriously fuck their shit up but good.

Abigail performs a glamour spell to turn herself into a beautiful, young, big-tittied woman (Debbie Rochon) who seduces the three men in order to…well…let’s just say the unprotected sex between all of them gets her some fluids she needs to birth out ghouls. PLEASE DON’T ASK ANY MORE QUESTIONS.

(Side note: they’re all excited about having unprotected sex with some random chick who’s willing to fuck all of them in one night. Is that really a thing? Men are so stupid sometimes.)

The ghouls then do her bidding in capturing the three friends so she can get her revenge. 

December 1, 2016

Movie Review: 99 Women (Blu-ray)

Reviewed By: James D.

As a film fan who seeks out the lost treasures you have always heard about Franco’s 99 Women being so controversial for its time. I think the controversy of this film is that the price is so damn high. Why attack Blue Underground. They are not the regular suspects. That would be Grindhouse, Severin, Arrow and countless others who are gouging the fans for every penny we have. I understand you are having tough times on sales, but to hit your die-hard fans so hard is not the answer. 

99 Women is basically a women in prison exploitation film. Maria Rohm plays the 99th prisoner of an all-female island prison. Franco is shooting high on this film, but it just comes up so short. You have Mercedes McCambridge and Herbert Lom in this film. They both are incredible at their crafts, but they are so wasted here. The film tries to create a plot off of the government inspector coming down on the sadistic governor. Which we get to see the guy who is in charge of the male prison on the other side of the island. 

November 30, 2016

Movie Review: Charulata - 1964

Charu (Madhabi Mukherjee), is a woman who feels alone in her marriage.  The husband, Bhupti Dutta(Shalen Mukherjee), is a busy man who is running a fledgling political newspaper.  Bhupti has brought in his cousin, Amal (Soumitra Chatterjee), who is known to be lazy and having no direction.  Others were brought into the home as well, but this story is about these three characters in particular.

It turns out, while yes he is lazy, Amal is quite a talented writer.  Charu finds this out and develops a fondness for him.  Amal did not really show the feelings toward Charulata, but he was young and would not dare cross his cousin.  Bhupti was oblivious to all of this.  Charu grows as a character as she opens up more and more and her talents as a writer start to show.  She and Amal are able to read each others writings and the two form a bond.  Amal, ever the good cousin would not let this happen.

November 22, 2016

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Hush (2016)

Kevin talks about the most tense horror/suspense film he's seen in a long time.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

Support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment by clicking the links on our Sponsors page!
 

November 20, 2016

Movie Review: Murmur of the Heart (1971)

Murmur of the Heart(Le Souffle Au Coeur) is movie in the "coming of age" realm.  Fourteen year old Laurent(Benoit Ferreux) is the main character and he gets into all kinds of mischief.  Hustling on the streets for the Red Cross, stealing jazz albums from the local music shops, smoking, drinking, being hit on by a priest and more.  There were aspects of this film I really enjoyed and others that left me upset.  This review goes into detail in some aspects so if you have not seen it and do not want to be spoiled fully, please do not read past the next paragraph.

What I do like about Murmer of the Heart is the progression of Laurent.  He comes from a well to do family but it is a family that has their own issues.  Laurent's father(Daniel Gelin) doesn't show much affection, the mother(Lea Massari) shows entirely too much affection, and the two older brothers(Fabian Ferreux and Marc Winocourt) are just out to have a good time throughout(almost like sexual deviant versions of the twin Weasleys from Harry Potter).  Unlike the Weasley boys, by good time, I mean sexually harassing the maids, comparing penis sizes, getting Laurent drunk, taking their younger brother to a brothel and then interrupting the act.  We will get into the relationship with the mother shortly.

November 17, 2016

Vinegar Syndrome's Black Friday Sale!




Now that Halloween is over, it can only mean one thing...Black Friday is just weeks away, and you know what that means...Our world famous Black Friday Sale is almost here! This year, in addition to our incredible price discounts and 2017 yearly package deals, we have two (yes 2!) surprise Blu-rays planned! One is an all-but-lost late 80s slasher which we've restored to its longest cut ever. The other is a 60s sexploitation classic by one of the genre's most acclaimed auteurs. Both are coming to Blu-ray for the first time and will ONLY be for sale on the VS site (and eventually other places, if there's any left).
 

November 16, 2016

Movie Review: Blue Ice (1985)

Directed by Philip Marshak

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Since we’ve e been promised by a certain individual that America will be great again, this little porno chestnut unearthed by the fine folks at Vinegar Syndrome reminds us once again what makes America great: Third-rate Humphrey Bogart world-weary detectives and their ponderous narration … reliable Nazi villains who can't seem to keep their swastika armbands on straight … purty girls that upon analysis aren't all that purty … sex scenes involving lots of shouting and yelling … dramatic scenes involving lots of shouting and yelling … beautiful locations of San Francisco rendered with ragged camera swish pans. Yes! We're in the kooky alternative universe that is Blue Ice, as helmed by the notorious director Philip Marshak (The Nightmare Never Ends, aka Cataclysm and Dracula Sucks!).

The story? You got us there, pal! Famed skin flick hunk and lunk Herschel Savage stars as the aforementioned gumshoe contracted by said Nazis to find a rare book of ultimate power. Savage wanders in and out fleshy situations that don't forward the plot. His hooker roommate services “Hedgehog” himself Ron Jeremy, there's lots of screaming and yelling, while reliable schlong Paul Thomas stumbles about in an alcoholic haze, winding up trussed up and tortured by said Nazis. The least eagle-eyed viewer will note that Thomas, kept bound in bed rests his arms in two hooks without any restraint whatsoever keeping them there! You suppose the doofus secretly likes it? Exotic “Helga Sven,” a Germanic platinum blonde by way of Tulsa, Oklahoma sings a passable version of “Deutschland Uber Alles,” and the sought-after book, an ungainly prop full of Bedazzler beads is opened, referencing 1955's Kiss Me Deadly long before Quentin Tarrantino did so in Pulp Fiction (1996). We haven't even mentioned the plain-Jane 300-year-old witch who concludes the film with a painfully dated laser light show. Longtime skull-faced screen villain Reggie Nalder (Salem’s Lot) appears as a guest Nazi poobah, and thankfully remains fully clothed ….

Movie Review: Julia (1977)

Directed by Fred Zinnemann

Movie Review by Greg Goodsell

Fledgling playwright Lillian Hellman (Jane Fonda) is shacked up with past-his-prime hard-boiled author Dashiell Hammett (Jason Robards) at his Martha's Vineyard beach retreat. Hellman is grinding away at her first play, the groundbreaking melodrama about repressed lesbianism at a girl's school “The Children's Hour.” While Hammett gives his criticism and praise to her initial efforts, Hellman drifts back to childhood revelries with her longtime friend Julia (Vanessa Redgrave). The two enjoyed a wealthy, rarefied childhood full of servants and castles, but Julia had an unflappable sense of social justice at an early age. Both Lillian and Julie go their separate ways come young adulthood – Lillian, to the stage and Julie to anti-fascist resistance work in pre-Hitler Europe when fate leads to a final meet up. A secretive counter agent (Maximilian Schell) approaches Lillian to help smuggle money in a hat across the border into Berlin where she will be briefly united with Julia – the usually unflappable Lillian tenuously accepts the offer and tastes fear as she walks into highly dangerous territory as a final favor for a friend ….

Julia is grand, old-time movie entertainment packed to the rafters with Hollywood's foremost old-time leftists. Fonda, Robards and the pro-PLO Redgrave – who accepted her Best Supporting Oscar in 1977 while denouncing “Zionist hoodlums” – give it their all in a story packed full of romance, humor tragedy and a heaping helping of suspense. We know that Hellman will live to see another day, but Fonda's time on the express headed for certain death remains nonetheless remains fraught with tension. In addition, the production and attention to period detail is so lavish, those accustomed to more modern, grittier fare will be sure to exclaim, “Now, this is what a movie is all about!”

November 15, 2016

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (DC, 2013)

Kevin reviews DC's dark animated tale of time travel gone wrong with The Flash and a Batman from your nightmares.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

Support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment by clicking the links on our Sponsors page!
 

November 10, 2016

Music Review: Luke Cage Original Soundtrack (Marvel/Netflix, 2016)

One of the best parts of Marvel's Luke Cage is the music. Many episodes start with musical acts performing at Harlem's Paradise, the show's fictional night club. Add to it an amazing score by Adrian Younge and Ali Shaheed Muhammad, and you have a soundtrack that beautifully compliments the show.

Marvel and Netflix recently released the soundtrack to the show. While it served as the background to my work day once or twice, I have to say that it was a bit disappointing overall. To clarify, nothing on the soundtrack is disappointing. Every track is perfectly written and performed, and I thought about their corresponding scenes as I listened. Method Man performs Bulletproof Love, and original track for the show which I can not get enough of. Unfortunately, that's the only vocal performance on the album.

November 9, 2016

TV Review: Luke Cage (Marvel/Netflix, 2016)

By now, everyone who was going to watch Marvel's latest installment in the Defenders series has binged through all thirteen episodes of Luke Cage. If you haven't, I'll warn you now, there might be some minor spoilers. Also, what have you been doing? After two rounds of Daredevil and Luke's introduction through Jessica Jones, I would think people would be ready for the bulletproof hero for hire. I couldn't wait for this one, and so far, it's my favorite of the bunch.

Luke lives a quiet life working two jobs to make ends meet. After his bar was blown up in part thanks to Jessica Jones, he decides to lay low. Not to mention the headaches he still suffers after she shot him in the jaw with a shotgun. His day job is at a barber shop run by local thug-turned-hero Pop. At night, he sweeps up at Harlem's Paradise, a night club owned by the infamous Cottonmouth Stokes. When a bartender calls in, Luke is forced to take his place for the night, and our story is set in motion.

November 8, 2016

Movie Review: The Mutilator (1984, Blu-ray)

Now that the busy season of the hubby’s business is over and October has wrapped up, I can get back to my reviews. And I’m excited to jump back in with a film from the most tubular of decades - the 80s!
The Mutilator (original title Fall Break) begins with the most unfortunate of events. Little Ed Jr. decides that the best birthday present he can give his father is to clean all his dad’s guns. We’ve all been there. Checking down the sight of a rifle and pulling the trigger to make sure everything’s clean and accidentally killing our moms, amirite?

Needless to say, Ed Sr.’s cheese slides a little off his cracker when he comes home to find his wife dead and his spawn responsible. 

Years later, Ed is in college and the relationship with his father is basically nonexistent. Until now. He wants Ed to close up the beach condo for the winter. And how convenient because Ed and his friends are on fall break (ahhh…now the original title makes more sense!) and have nothing to do. So why not help close up the place while enjoying time at the beach?

Because Ed’s dad is a fucking nut job and wants them all dead!! Particularly Junior, of whom he dreams about killing all the time.

Movie Review: Doctor Strange (Marvel, 2016)

Of all of the characters in the MCU, Dr. Strange is possibly the one I knew the least about going in. I knew that he was a doctor that screwed up his hands and became a magician. that's about it. In general, I wasn't wrong. Truly, though, there was much more to it.

Stephen Strange is a brilliant surgeon. He has an amazing track record, but mostly because he filters out any possible failures. He's successful, self-centered, arrogant as hell and just a big giant asshole to everyone around him. He's not really likeable in the least. Upon taking a phone call in the rain while speeding through a twisting highway, Strange goes off the road and down a mountainside. In the process, he destroys his hands. After multiple surgeries to repair the damage, Strange has tremors that he can't steady, rendering him useless as a surgeon. After months of desperately looking for a medical way to heal, he turns to other methods.

Cinema Head Cheese: Podshort! - Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park: Europe (Netflix, 2016)

Kevin reviews a new series from our favourite Canadian screw-ups.

Click here to listen or right click and choose "Save Link As..." to download.

You can always email us at cinemaheadcheese@yahoo.com or tweet us @CinHeadCheese.

Support Cinema Head Cheese and Abnormal Entertainment by clicking the links on our Sponsors page!


November 7, 2016

Movie Review: Raiders! (2015)

One of the biggest movies of the 1980s was Radiers of the Lost Ark. The entire Indiana Jones series (barring the shots taken at The Crystal Skull) has been an action/sci-fi mainstay for my generation. For one group of kids, it became an obsession that lasted seven summers. Friends Chris Strompolos and Eric Zala led a group that reshot the entire movie scene for scene and practically frame for frame.

It's actually a pretty amazing feat for a bunch of kids with a VHS camera.What's even more amazing is the fact that they were able to hold everything together for so long in spite of all of their difficulties. One thing they were never able to complete was the scene where Indy is getting pummeled by a shirtless goon who ends up being chopped to bits by an airplane propeller. Finally, in their adulthood, they got the opportunity. For one last weekend, the boys would get together to complete their homage.