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September 25, 2010

Doing the JOB... with Joe Broni: Des Moines, IA

by Joe Broni

Hello wrestling fans! Joe Broni here with my inaugural Cinema Head Cheese column. Being on the road is rough. As I travel up and down, around and across this great country of ours (and sometimes Canada, a great country that is almost ours) the professional wrestler can encounter any number of weird promoters, fans and fellow workers. Even though my win/loss record isn't stellar (currently 0-142), it seems there is no end of colorful road stories that you fans are drooling over. For example:

Des Moines, IA - Iowa is the breeding ground for any number of great amateur and professional wrestlers. It's something in the corn, I think. Sadly, on this particular show, I got to know it firsthand. The corn, I mean. The show was for the IIWA (Insane Iowa Wrestling Alliance) and Insane would be the operative word. After tapping out to the Mongolian Barbarian's expertly applied rear chin lock, I was making my way back to the locker room. Bruised and abused I pulled out my bag to change into my street clothes. No sooner than the zipper opened when the stench hit. Those rapscallions in Iowa had defecated in my bag! We all had a good laugh at that. It was only slightly annoying. The shirt that took the brunt of the brute was a new one (well, new to me) that I had just purchased that morning at the Des Moines Goodwill. What a hoot!

Some grizzled veterans of the squared circle tried to tell me that a fellow worker leaving a number two in my number one bag is a sign that the bag owner hasn't earned any respect. I can't believe that, though. Those fun-loving guys in Iowa just had a small bowel issue. Who doesn't love Joe Broni?

Until next time, true believers…


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